Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But again, who would want a life like Mary's? It's not like she's won the lottery - she has pretty much nothing to show for her 50 years on this planet. Even her mom died and left the roof over her head to somebody else....

Not saying that Mary is Op's responsibility because she isn't. But it is still a sad situation.

You are right. It IS a sad situation. But let's pretend that NO ONE is lying and trying to turn this into something that it isn't. Mary has two degrees which her mom paid for. She has had several jobs, which she quit when she didn't get what she wanted from them (promotions, leadership opportunities, etc.). She moved home every time, and mom took care of her so that she didn't have to pay bills, which she also didn't like doing. So, as sad as this situation might be, this woman made 50 years worth of choices. And those choices have consequences, just like the choices that you and I make. So, she has no one to blame but herself. And to say that OP should now be saddled with this responsibility is ridiculous.

Let's think about this for a second. Why should a 20-something student, working to pay for college, have to room with, take care of, accommodate a 50 year old who has done nothing with her life, because of her poor decisions and lack of ability to not quit a job when she didn't get what she wanted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. At the time of the writing of the will, my godmother and my grandma both sat with a lawyer and had the will written and verified.

Why was your grandmother with her sister when the will was written?

Who was holding the will at the time of Thelma's death?

So, Larla's grandmother goes with her sister Thelma to a lawyer's office and when the meeting is over, Thelma is leaving her family home to her sister's granddaughter instead of to her own two children.

This sounds like the plot of a tv detective show. An older woman dies and leaves her home to a great niece instead of her own children. The children go to a lawyer to find out if there is any way to challenge this surprising will. The lawyer hires a detective who tracks down the lawyer who wrote the will five years before Thelma passed away. At the end, there is a dramatic courtroom scene where the lawyer who wrote the will is called to the stand and is asked who said what when Thelma and her sister were sitting in his office on the day he wrote Thelma's will. What will the judge decide?

If I were Mary or Roy, I'd be asking a lot of questions and consulting a lawyer about this situation, before too much time has passed.

I think the facts surrounding the writing of the will definitely give Mary and Roy an opening to challenge it.

I think there's enough possibility that something is off here that Mary and Roy should see a lawyer. We don't really know enough because we are only hearing the facts from Larla's perspective. A lawyer can look at the will and find out more about the circumstances from the lawyer who wrote the will. Maybe there's a basis to challenge the will, maybe there's not, but they should get legal advice from an objective professional to find out.

This isn't about sympathy/hostility toward Mary or whether she should be punished/rewarded for her choices/possible mental health problems. A will is a legal document and there are rules about how a will is written. Mary and Roy need to find out if there was anything unusual about the situation surrounding their mother's will that indicate that the will is not a good one.

Do Mary and Roy know that Larla's grandmother accompanied their mother to the lawyer's office to have her will written? The fact that Larla's grandmother was there and ended up being named executor for the will which leaves a valuable asset to her own granddaughter raises at least a yellow flag. The circumstances do lend themselves to the question of whether Thelma was influenced by her sister to leave her family home to the great niece rather than to her own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not personally involved.

But I think that it is moronic to be putting OP down because she inherited a house. She didn't make that choice or decision. It was put upon her. And she is trying to be honest about the circumstances to the best of her ability, and then strangers call her a liar.

More importantly, what world do you live in where you think it is out of the realm of possibility that there people who simply are entitled and don't want to work. Everyone keeps bringing up mental illness. The fact of the matter is, Mary had expectations that didn't get met in the work force, and instead of pushing through and working harder to get what she wants, she quit, and went home to mommy. Now, mommy is tired of taking care of Mary and left the house to someone that she probably related to better - someone who is working to put them self through college, has some level of ambition.

I just see a big problem in a world where we make excuses for a 50 year old, who has failure to launch syndrome. It's pathetic. It generates a weaker society.

Don't you think it's at all possible that OP's presentation of the situation is slanted towards her POV? Why are you so willing to accept everything she has said without skepticism?

This is simple. The woman is 50. And she lives at home with her mom. If the girl had some mental disorder, I can not imagine the Mom giving the house away to someone else. So, obviously, there is a reason she didn't give the house to the daughter. And the simplest explanation is typically the right explanation. She was lazy, entitled, and didn't feel like working. She mooched off the mom and mom had enough. There doesn't have to be this big conspiracy theory about why daughter can't get her crap together after 50 years. If anything, mom is wrong for not kicking her daughter out a long time ago and allowing her to be this way.

The daughter may have been helping her mother and providing companionship. We only have op's POV that the daughter is entitled and spoiled . She could well have moved home for her mother's own good. The mother could have resented her loss of independence. Not everyone ages gracefully. They can be irriitable, demanding, and take their frustration out on those who are trying to help. (I've cared for several elderly relatives and seen this happen) Thelma also sounds vindictive. (i.e. giving away her daughter's ticket to someone else because she wasn't doing things Thelma's way)

I'm trying to be open minded here and not fall for op's story without a healthy dose of skepticism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not personally involved.

But I think that it is moronic to be putting OP down because she inherited a house. She didn't make that choice or decision. It was put upon her. And she is trying to be honest about the circumstances to the best of her ability, and then strangers call her a liar.

More importantly, what world do you live in where you think it is out of the realm of possibility that there people who simply are entitled and don't want to work. Everyone keeps bringing up mental illness. The fact of the matter is, Mary had expectations that didn't get met in the work force, and instead of pushing through and working harder to get what she wants, she quit, and went home to mommy. Now, mommy is tired of taking care of Mary and left the house to someone that she probably related to better - someone who is working to put them self through college, has some level of ambition.

I just see a big problem in a world where we make excuses for a 50 year old, who has failure to launch syndrome. It's pathetic. It generates a weaker society.

Don't you think it's at all possible that OP's presentation of the situation is slanted towards her POV? Why are you so willing to accept everything she has said without skepticism?

This is simple. The woman is 50. And she lives at home with her mom. If the girl had some mental disorder, I can not imagine the Mom giving the house away to someone else. So, obviously, there is a reason she didn't give the house to the daughter. And the simplest explanation is typically the right explanation. She was lazy, entitled, and didn't feel like working. She mooched off the mom and mom had enough. There doesn't have to be this big conspiracy theory about why daughter can't get her crap together after 50 years. If anything, mom is wrong for not kicking her daughter out a long time ago and allowing her to be this way.

The daughter may have been helping her mother and providing companionship. We only have op's POV that the daughter is entitled and spoiled . She could well have moved home for her mother's own good. The mother could have resented her loss of independence. Not everyone ages gracefully. They can be irriitable, demanding, and take their frustration out on those who are trying to help. (I've cared for several elderly relatives and seen this happen) Thelma also sounds vindictive. (i.e. giving away her daughter's ticket to someone else because she wasn't doing things Thelma's way)

I'm trying to be open minded here and not fall for op's story without a healthy dose of skepticism.

I can assure you my godmother was not vindictive. The story surrounding her giving away the ticket (and place) on the vacation was a bit more complicated. Basically, my cousin did something very hostile, during a fight and my godmother kind of just disowned her for a few months because she was so hurt by it.

Godmother was not "aging" or ill. She easily could have lived on her own without her daughter. She basically lived a separate life even though they lived in the same house. She would cook meals but they seldom ate together and talking did not usually go beyond "how's the weather..." and "What do you want for dinner?".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not personally involved.

But I think that it is moronic to be putting OP down because she inherited a house. She didn't make that choice or decision. It was put upon her. And she is trying to be honest about the circumstances to the best of her ability, and then strangers call her a liar.

More importantly, what world do you live in where you think it is out of the realm of possibility that there people who simply are entitled and don't want to work. Everyone keeps bringing up mental illness. The fact of the matter is, Mary had expectations that didn't get met in the work force, and instead of pushing through and working harder to get what she wants, she quit, and went home to mommy. Now, mommy is tired of taking care of Mary and left the house to someone that she probably related to better - someone who is working to put them self through college, has some level of ambition.

I just see a big problem in a world where we make excuses for a 50 year old, who has failure to launch syndrome. It's pathetic. It generates a weaker society.

Don't you think it's at all possible that OP's presentation of the situation is slanted towards her POV? Why are you so willing to accept everything she has said without skepticism?

This is simple. The woman is 50. And she lives at home with her mom. If the girl had some mental disorder, I can not imagine the Mom giving the house away to someone else. So, obviously, there is a reason she didn't give the house to the daughter. And the simplest explanation is typically the right explanation. She was lazy, entitled, and didn't feel like working. She mooched off the mom and mom had enough. There doesn't have to be this big conspiracy theory about why daughter can't get her crap together after 50 years. If anything, mom is wrong for not kicking her daughter out a long time ago and allowing her to be this way.

The daughter may have been helping her mother and providing companionship. We only have op's POV that the daughter is entitled and spoiled . She could well have moved home for her mother's own good. The mother could have resented her loss of independence. Not everyone ages gracefully. They can be irriitable, demanding, and take their frustration out on those who are trying to help. (I've cared for several elderly relatives and seen this happen) Thelma also sounds vindictive. (i.e. giving away her daughter's ticket to someone else because she wasn't doing things Thelma's way)

I'm trying to be open minded here and not fall for op's story without a healthy dose of skepticism.

I can assure you my godmother was not vindictive. The story surrounding her giving away the ticket (and place) on the vacation was a bit more complicated. Basically, my cousin did something very hostile, during a fight and my godmother kind of just disowned her for a few months because she was so hurt by it.

Godmother was not "aging" or ill. She easily could have lived on her own without her daughter. She basically lived a separate life even though they lived in the same house. She would cook meals but they seldom ate together and talking did not usually go beyond "how's the weather..." and "What do you want for dinner?".

None of what you said sounds normal so without evidence this is what happened, the will could easily be challenged in court. As such, I would highly advise that you get a lawyer (at least consult one) in case Mary and Roy decides to challenge the will.

[Anonymous]

For everyone who thinks that they can challenge the will, what on grounds they challenge?

" this is all odd/unusual and my mother was in perfect health when she died and I'm just so shocked that I'm not actually entitled to all the things that I thought I would be entitled to at her death therefore I'm challenging will " is not actually a valid reason to challenge the will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not personally involved.

But I think that it is moronic to be putting OP down because she inherited a house. She didn't make that choice or decision. It was put upon her. And she is trying to be honest about the circumstances to the best of her ability, and then strangers call her a liar.

More importantly, what world do you live in where you think it is out of the realm of possibility that there people who simply are entitled and don't want to work. Everyone keeps bringing up mental illness. The fact of the matter is, Mary had expectations that didn't get met in the work force, and instead of pushing through and working harder to get what she wants, she quit, and went home to mommy. Now, mommy is tired of taking care of Mary and left the house to someone that she probably related to better - someone who is working to put them self through college, has some level of ambition.

I just see a big problem in a world where we make excuses for a 50 year old, who has failure to launch syndrome. It's pathetic. It generates a weaker society.

Don't you think it's at all possible that OP's presentation of the situation is slanted towards her POV? Why are you so willing to accept everything she has said without skepticism?

This is simple. The woman is 50. And she lives at home with her mom. If the girl had some mental disorder, I can not imagine the Mom giving the house away to someone else. So, obviously, there is a reason she didn't give the house to the daughter. And the simplest explanation is typically the right explanation. She was lazy, entitled, and didn't feel like working. She mooched off the mom and mom had enough. There doesn't have to be this big conspiracy theory about why daughter can't get her crap together after 50 years. If anything, mom is wrong for not kicking her daughter out a long time ago and allowing her to be this way.

The daughter may have been helping her mother and providing companionship. We only have op's POV that the daughter is entitled and spoiled . She could well have moved home for her mother's own good. The mother could have resented her loss of independence. Not everyone ages gracefully. They can be irriitable, demanding, and take their frustration out on those who are trying to help. (I've cared for several elderly relatives and seen this happen) Thelma also sounds vindictive. (i.e. giving away her daughter's ticket to someone else because she wasn't doing things Thelma's way)

I'm trying to be open minded here and not fall for op's story without a healthy dose of skepticism.

I can assure you my godmother was not vindictive. The story surrounding her giving away the ticket (and place) on the vacation was a bit more complicated. Basically, my cousin did something very hostile, during a fight and my godmother kind of just disowned her for a few months because she was so hurt by it.

Godmother was not "aging" or ill. She easily could have lived on her own without her daughter. She basically lived a separate life even though they lived in the same house. She would cook meals but they seldom ate together and talking did not usually go beyond "how's the weather..." and "What do you want for dinner?".

None of what you said sounds normal so without evidence this is what happened, the will could easily be challenged in court. As such, I would highly advise that you get a lawyer (at least consult one) in case Mary and Roy decides to challenge the will.

It doesn't have to be normal, Thelma could've found a random homeless person on the street to leave her home to and there would still be no basis to challenge this will.

[Anonymous]

Duh, didnt you read the post about possible undue influence from op's grandmother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: For everyone who thinks that they can challenge the will, what on grounds they challenge?

" this is all odd/unusual and my mother was in perfect health when she died and I'm just so shocked that I'm not actually entitled to all the things that I thought I would be entitled to at her death therefore I'm challenging will " is not actually a valid reason to challenge the will.

There is a possibility, which may be remote, that Larla's grandmother accompanying her sister to the lawyer to draw up the will is evidence of undue influence. That Thelma tired of Mary's dependency is probably true, but why bypass Roy as well (who has children himself?)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. The story just doesn't ring authentic. A 50 year old woman who expects to be waited on hand and foot? Come on. No matter how spoiled Mary was, expecting dear old mom to cook her meals for her? Come on. She was probably cooking for her elderly mom, and doing yard work, and making sure granny took her medicines, shlepping her to all her doctor's appointments, and bathing her if needed, and running up and down the basement stairs to do the laundry for the two of them, and doing the grocery shopping, and cleaning the house, and walking the dog, and keeping her company in the evenings when they sat together watching t.v. Did I forget anything else full time care taking children do for their elderly parents? I don't buy the granny-was-cooking-Mary's-meals-and-making-her-bed story.

YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

Just because you don't BUY IT, doesn't make it less true. There are plenty of entitled, selfish people in the world that would have no problem living off mom. MORON.

Larla, is that you? Listen -- if you have done nothing wrong, and nobody pushed their agenda on Thelma, just disregard posts like this one already. I do hope your reaction to inheriting this house, and the implications for Mary, is well considered and thoughtful. I also think Thelma went about it in a bizarre way, if she was indeed of sound mind and of her own free will. But if you participated in a scheme to gain the house over Thelma's children, and thereby pushing a 50-year-old woman out onto the street, I hope your conscience follows you to your grave. I am old enough that I've come to realize that many unscrupulous people target the elderly for their money. Everything from DCs scheming to get themselves designated Trustors so that they can steal from a Trust, to service providers, and on it goes. While there are a lot of good people who would never dream of taking advantage of an elderly person, there are all too many people who can't resist the opportunity. And the elderly are sitting ducks in many ways. Those of us who are close to the elderly know what I'm talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not personally involved.

But I think that it is moronic to be putting OP down because she inherited a house. She didn't make that choice or decision. It was put upon her. And she is trying to be honest about the circumstances to the best of her ability, and then strangers call her a liar.

More importantly, what world do you live in where you think it is out of the realm of possibility that there people who simply are entitled and don't want to work. Everyone keeps bringing up mental illness. The fact of the matter is, Mary had expectations that didn't get met in the work force, and instead of pushing through and working harder to get what she wants, she quit, and went home to mommy. Now, mommy is tired of taking care of Mary and left the house to someone that she probably related to better - someone who is working to put them self through college, has some level of ambition.

I just see a big problem in a world where we make excuses for a 50 year old, who has failure to launch syndrome. It's pathetic. It generates a weaker society.

Don't you think it's at all possible that OP's presentation of the situation is slanted towards her POV? Why are you so willing to accept everything she has said without skepticism?

This is simple. The woman is 50. And she lives at home with her mom. If the girl had some mental disorder, I can not imagine the Mom giving the house away to someone else. So, obviously, there is a reason she didn't give the house to the daughter. And the simplest explanation is typically the right explanation. She was lazy, entitled, and didn't feel like working. She mooched off the mom and mom had enough. There doesn't have to be this big conspiracy theory about why daughter can't get her crap together after 50 years. If anything, mom is wrong for not kicking her daughter out a long time ago and allowing her to be this way.

The daughter may have been helping her mother and providing companionship. We only have op's POV that the daughter is entitled and spoiled . She could well have moved home for her mother's own good. The mother could have resented her loss of independence. Not everyone ages gracefully. They can be irriitable, demanding, and take their frustration out on those who are trying to help. (I've cared for several elderly relatives and seen this happen) Thelma also sounds vindictive. (i.e. giving away her daughter's ticket to someone else because she wasn't doing things Thelma's way)

I'm trying to be open minded here and not fall for op's story without a healthy dose of skepticism.

I can assure you my godmother was not vindictive. The story surrounding her giving away the ticket (and place) on the vacation was a bit more complicated. Basically, my cousin did something very hostile, during a fight and my godmother kind of just disowned her for a few months because she was so hurt by it.

Godmother was not "aging" or ill. She easily could have lived on her own without her daughter. She basically lived a separate life even though they lived in the same house. She would cook meals but they seldom ate together and talking did not usually go beyond "how's the weather..." and "What do you want for dinner?".

Well, punishing her daughter by disinheriting her like that after a spat - is vindictive and manipulative. Thelma was using the threat of leaving the house to you to needle her daughter into doing as she asked - "Either you do as I say or my beloved, GOOD god daughter will be getting everything." Thelma then died unexpectedly....leaving a everyone with a nice little mess to sort out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not personally involved.

But I think that it is moronic to be putting OP down because she inherited a house. She didn't make that choice or decision. It was put upon her. And she is trying to be honest about the circumstances to the best of her ability, and then strangers call her a liar.

More importantly, what world do you live in where you think it is out of the realm of possibility that there people who simply are entitled and don't want to work. Everyone keeps bringing up mental illness. The fact of the matter is, Mary had expectations that didn't get met in the work force, and instead of pushing through and working harder to get what she wants, she quit, and went home to mommy. Now, mommy is tired of taking care of Mary and left the house to someone that she probably related to better - someone who is working to put them self through college, has some level of ambition.

I just see a big problem in a world where we make excuses for a 50 year old, who has failure to launch syndrome. It's pathetic. It generates a weaker society.

Don't you think it's at all possible that OP's presentation of the situation is slanted towards her POV? Why are you so willing to accept everything she has said without skepticism?

This is simple. The woman is 50. And she lives at home with her mom. If the girl had some mental disorder, I can not imagine the Mom giving the house away to someone else. So, obviously, there is a reason she didn't give the house to the daughter. And the simplest explanation is typically the right explanation. She was lazy, entitled, and didn't feel like working. She mooched off the mom and mom had enough. There doesn't have to be this big conspiracy theory about why daughter can't get her crap together after 50 years. If anything, mom is wrong for not kicking her daughter out a long time ago and allowing her to be this way.

The daughter may have been helping her mother and providing companionship. We only have op's POV that the daughter is entitled and spoiled . She could well have moved home for her mother's own good. The mother could have resented her loss of independence. Not everyone ages gracefully. They can be irriitable, demanding, and take their frustration out on those who are trying to help. (I've cared for several elderly relatives and seen this happen) Thelma also sounds vindictive. (i.e. giving away her daughter's ticket to someone else because she wasn't doing things Thelma's way)

I'm trying to be open minded here and not fall for op's story without a healthy dose of skepticism.

I can assure you my godmother was not vindictive. The story surrounding her giving away the ticket (and place) on the vacation was a bit more complicated. Basically, my cousin did something very hostile, during a fight and my godmother kind of just disowned her for a few months because she was so hurt by it.

Godmother was not "aging" or ill. She easily could have lived on her own without her daughter. She basically lived a separate life even though they lived in the same house. She would cook meals but they seldom ate together and talking did not usually go beyond "how's the weather..." and "What do you want for dinner?".

Well, punishing her daughter by disinheriting her like that after a spat - is vindictive and manipulative. Thelma was using the threat of leaving the house to you to needle her daughter into doing as she asked - "Either you do as I say or my beloved, GOOD god daughter will be getting everything." Thelma then died unexpectedly....leaving a everyone with a nice little mess to sort out.

OK well if that's the case, it shouldn't be a surprise that her mother disinherited her

[Anonymous]

Mary should get over it. She is not owed anything. Just because it is unusual doesn't mean something illegal happened. If Thelma's sister was giving her advice (no reason to think otherwise) why would it matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larla's godmother/great aunt (Let's call her Thelma) dies and leaves Larla her house. The house is pretty nice, 3000 sq ft in a nice area (not too close in, but still close to everything). Larla's cousin (godmother's daughter, let's call her Mary) she is about 50 yrs old and still lived with her mother Thelma until she died. So Larla was given the house and money in Thelma's will. Mary was left some money and Thelma's car... nothing too fancy, but still a good solid car. Larla is finishing school right now and lives in her parent's house which is not the best of situations as other family members are living with them as well and it is kind of cramped. Larla wants to leave her parents house and move into the home that Thelma left her. So the question is, does Larla have the right to put Mary out of the house?

I'd like to revisit the bolded statement above. It states op was given both the house and $. We know how much $ Mary and Roy are to receive. op, how much $ are you getting from the will?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Larla's godmother/great aunt (Let's call her Thelma) dies and leaves Larla her house. The house is pretty nice, 3000 sq ft in a nice area (not too close in, but still close to everything). Larla's cousin (godmother's daughter, let's call her Mary) she is about 50 yrs old and still lived with her mother Thelma until she died. So Larla was given the house and money in Thelma's will. Mary was left some money and Thelma's car... nothing too fancy, but still a good solid car. Larla is finishing school right now and lives in her parent's house which is not the best of situations as other family members are living with them as well and it is kind of cramped. Larla wants to leave her parents house and move into the home that Thelma left her. So the question is, does Larla have the right to put Mary out of the house?

I'd like to revisit the bolded statement above. It states op was given both the house and $. We know how much $ Mary and Roy are to receive. op, how much $ are you getting from the will?

OP here, I was left $25,000 and my grandmother says that it was for my schooling.