Do you wish you had your children younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP - I guess you think that neither you or your DH will be having a mid life crisis in your mid 40s when you are empty nesters?

Of course I don't think we're immune to that. Or immune to getting cancer at 35 and dying or losing our jobs or whatever. But I don't think I said anywhere in my post that my life is perfect and always will be. What I said is that not all people who have kids in their 20s are fuck ups or bad parents.

[Anonymous]

I don't wish I'd had them younger (I was 30 and 32) but I do wish I were younger now (38). It would be nice if they could keep growing and I could freeze the aging process for myself for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - I guess you think that neither you or your DH will be having a mid life crisis in your mid 40s when you are empty nesters?

Of course I don't think we're immune to that. Or immune to getting cancer at 35 and dying or losing our jobs or whatever. But I don't think I said anywhere in my post that my life is perfect and always will be. What I said is that not all people who have kids in their 20s are fuck ups or bad parents.

Oh I agree. Those of us who weren't mature enough to have children in our 20s might even envy you a bit

[Anonymous]

"Yes its always weird when you go to a school and you meet someone and think they are grand parents. This area stresses you out and the older working moms don't have time to do their hair, don't care, etc... and you think they are the grand parent. "

I guess you're a younger SAHM who has plenty of time to do her hair?

[Anonymous]

Haha - I'm the 20-something non-fuck-up mom and I will be the first to admit that I frequently don't "do" my hair. It's not at all an older mom thing to let your hair style slip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've only read the first few and the last few pages, but I'm offended that a lot of posters seem to think anyone who has children in their 20s is immature and unable to handle parenting. Sure there are some who are, and sure there are people in this age group who had kids before they were ready or who didn't pick the fathers well or whatever. There are others of us for whom it's worked out great. I graduated from college, got a master's degree while working full-time and then I got married and bought our first house at 24, had my first a little over a year later at 25. Bought a second house at 27 (we kept the first and rent it out) and had our second when I was 28. We both still work full-time (had au pairs and my mom's help when the kids were young) and make over $200,000 now (which yes, I'm not bragging that this is fantastic for this area, but I feel like at 30 with two kids, we do pretty well).

The kids are both great, well-behaved kids (of course, you can choose not to believe that). DH and I have had our struggles of course with two young kids, but now that they are both out of diapers, etc, our relationship is back to being great. We travelled and did fun things before we had kids, took a break when the kids were babies and then started traveling and exploring with the kids. Our social lives of course have been scaled back, but we still go to concerts once a month or so (which was something we used to really like) and now have made friends with other families with kids, so we tend to do all the fun stuff we used to do with them and the kids.

We purposely bought in a good school district through high school, so no need for private school money. We do all those financially responsible things like maxing out our 401ks and saving for college. We got a 15-year mortgage with our second house, so it will be paid off when the oldest is a junior in high school. We live within our means but we don't have money worries.

I think the main reason I love being a young mom is that the kid's grandparents are still young - both young 50s. We're fortunate that we have lots of date nights and even weekends off every few months because they have the energy to take the kids. If we'd waited 10-15 years, maybe we wouldn't (or maybe we would - I get that everyone's situations are different).

The main thing I regret about not waiting is more time to get to know my husband and do things with just him. Presumably though, we'll get to do that when the kids go off to college - we'll be mid-40s.

So maybe I'm in the 1% of 20-something moms who aren't narcisstic fuck-ups (thanks PP!). It hurts my feelings to think that when people see me and my kids and figure out that I'm 30 that they might be immediately dismissing me in this way. Please remember that it's life situation and not age that necessarily determine how much of a fuck-up you are.

Yes its always weird when you go to a school and you meet someone and think they are grand parents. This area stresses you out and the older working moms don't have time to do their hair, don't care, etc... and you think they are the grand parent.

See, now here you sound like one of those callow twenty-somethings we're talking about.

"OMFG Did u c her hairs not even styled!!1! LOLZZ!"

[Anonymous]

I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

Oh ignore them, they will be normal again after menopause is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

Point taken. So where DID you get your MBA, and how DID you manage to get that and have a career while still having two kids by age 25?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

Point taken. So where DID you get your MBA, and how DID you manage to get that and have a career while still having two kids by age 25?

Oh no, I don't have an MBA, I should go hang myself right now. What could I ever possibly contribute to society without an MBA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

Point taken. So where DID you get your MBA, and how DID you manage to get that and have a career while still having two kids by age 25?

Oh no, I don't have an MBA, I should go hang myself right now. What could I ever possibly contribute to society without an MBA?

No, I don't think you're white trash just because you don't have an MBA or other advanced degree, but boy, your jealousy of women who are professionally accomplished and had children over age 35 is not becoming. Not as bad as white trash, but yet not flattering to you.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had them the year I was born. Things were a lot less complicated for children then. They could trick or treat without parents, play tag at recess, roam the neighborhood unaccompanied until dark, not worry about the next thing that was going to kill them, e.g, juice, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had them the year I was born. Things were a lot less complicated for children then. They could trick or treat without parents, play tag at recess, roam the neighborhood unaccompanied until dark, not worry about the next thing that was going to kill them, e.g, juice, etc.

+1

[Anonymous]

I had an MBA, a professional career, and two kids by 27. So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

Point taken. So where DID you get your MBA, and how DID you manage to get that and have a career while still having two kids by age 25?

Oh no, I don't have an MBA, I should go hang myself right now. What could I ever possibly contribute to society without an MBA?

No, I don't think you're white trash just because you don't have an MBA or other advanced degree, but boy, your jealousy of women who are professionally accomplished and had children over age 35 is not becoming. Not as bad as white trash, but yet not flattering to you.

Where on earth did I say I was jealous? I have a degree- it's not an MBA. PP obviously thinks MBAs are the Holy Grail- I do not. I'm also not jealous of the women who have had their kids over 35 who have a chip on their shoulder about it and think they need to look down on any woman who got pregnant before the age of 30. Perhaps you do see my comments coming off as jealousy- I have to say the same for every 40+ woman on here who made comments along the lines of young mothers being incapable of caring for their kids as well as the older moms can.