DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make 50K a year and are a few miles from the top public schools in the nation however i think it is critical that our children go to top private schools in DC. unfortunately after paying for private school we will have no money to put them through college - so the question is....for those who did not go to college after attending sidwell how high was the offer from goldman sachs?

It depends.

Is your DC a Sidwell Lifer, or did DC start in high school?

Big difference.

Do the colleges look at it this way also? Serious question. No, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.

The former. Sorry. Wasted on this crew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make 50K a year and are a few miles from the top public schools in the nation however i think it is critical that our children go to top private schools in DC. unfortunately after paying for private school we will have no money to put them through college - so the question is....for those who did not go to college after attending sidwell how high was the offer from goldman sachs?

It depends.

Is your DC a Sidwell Lifer, or did DC start in high school?

Big difference.

Do the colleges look at it this way also? Serious question. No, really.

You sound like an insider - do you know if my DC will be accepted at Sidwell even though we make 1/45 of what post parents make there? I know that it would be tough anywhere else in the world but I heard Sidwell is a family????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make 50K a year and are a few miles from the top public schools in the nation however i think it is critical that our children go to top private schools in DC. unfortunately after paying for private school we will have no money to put them through college - so the question is....for those who did not go to college after attending sidwell how high was the offer from goldman sachs?

It depends.

Is your DC a Sidwell Lifer, or did DC start in high school?

Big difference.

Do the colleges look at it this way also? Serious question. No, really.

You sound like an insider - do you know if my DC will be accepted at Sidwell even though we make 1/45 of what post parents make there? I know that it would be tough anywhere else in the world but I heard Sidwell is a family????

You heard wrong. BEAUVOIR is the family. I still haven't gotten the scoop on Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.

The former. Sorry. Wasted on this crew.

Great banter.

Are you the two who were going at it the other day?

Would you consider a three-some?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.

The former. Sorry. Wasted on this crew.

Great banter.

Are you the two who were going at it the other day?

Would you consider a three-some?

Sure. Those buttons on your blouse are just lovely...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.

The former. Sorry. Wasted on this crew.

Great banter.

Are you the two who were going at it the other day?

Would you consider a three-some?

Sure. Those buttons on your blouse are just lovely...

I knew it was you. You VIXEN. Stay the F%&ck away from my husband, my Labradoodle, and my Prius.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

I am far from a racist. I mean, really, my nanny is Mexican and my housekeeper is Thai. As in she's from Taiwan.

You have a MEXICAN nanny! Where can I get on of those?

at a swinger's club. obviously. swingers are people too!

Picking up a MEXICAN nanny, in a swingers club is so IMMORAL. I am sick and teary eyed just writing this.

I found mine at the Whole Foods on River Road. I hope the two new Whole Foods on Wisconsin Avenue, you know the one by the Rodeo Drive of Washington in Chevy Chase, and the one in Bethesda, also have a good selection of nannies. OMG. Is that one actually on Wisconsin Ave. at the point where it turns into Rockville Pike? Does that mean it will be in ROCKVILLE. Oh well. You win some and you lose some.

If you picked up your Mexican Nanny at Whole Foods, I am sure you are over paying. My rule of thumb is I won't hire anyone who can actually afford food on their own.

I picked up my gardener, maid, and nanny all in one fell swoop, and it was pretty easy. I flew down to Phoenix, and rented a huge cargo van. I then drove to Douglass, and waited on our side of the boarder. Some point around 3am, my van filled up with people offering me cash to drive. I took all their money, and dropped the ones (who weren't the pick of the litter, as their grammar was BAD) off at the bus, and called INS. The way I figure it, they have about six more years of working 80hour work weeks, before they actually earn a wage. They need to pay off all the travel expenses, gas is $4.00 a gallon now, and those cargo vans are guzzlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.

The former. Sorry. Wasted on this crew.

Great banter.

Are you the two who were going at it the other day?

Would you consider a three-some?

Sure. Those buttons on your blouse are just lovely...

And those orange crocs...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.

The former. Sorry. Wasted on this crew.

Great banter.

Are you the two who were going at it the other day?

Would you consider a three-some?

Sure. Those buttons on your blouse are just lovely...

I knew it was you. You VIXEN. Stay the F%&ck away from my husband, my Labradoodle, and my Prius.

PS - Buttons were from Talbots. Special order. Thanks for noticing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

I am far from a racist. I mean, really, my nanny is Mexican and my housekeeper is Thai. As in she's from Taiwan.

You have a MEXICAN nanny! Where can I get on of those?

at a swinger's club. obviously. swingers are people too!

Picking up a MEXICAN nanny, in a swingers club is so IMMORAL. I am sick and teary eyed just writing this.

I found mine at the Whole Foods on River Road. I hope the two new Whole Foods on Wisconsin Avenue, you know the one by the Rodeo Drive of Washington in Chevy Chase, and the one in Bethesda, also have a good selection of nannies. OMG. Is that one actually on Wisconsin Ave. at the point where it turns into Rockville Pike? Does that mean it will be in ROCKVILLE. Oh well. You win some and you lose some.

If you picked up your Mexican Nanny at Whole Foods, I am sure you are over paying. My rule of thumb is I won't hire anyone who can actually afford food on their own.

I picked up my gardener, maid, and nanny all in one fell swoop, and it was pretty easy. I flew down to Phoenix, and rented a huge cargo van. I then drove to Douglass, and waited on our side of the boarder. Some point around 3am, my van filled up with people offering me cash to drive. I took all their money, and dropped the ones (who weren't the pick of the litter, as their grammar was BAD) off at the bus, and called INS. The way I figure it, they have about six more years of working 80hour work weeks, before they actually earn a wage. They need to pay off all the travel expenses, gas is $4.00 a gallon now, and those cargo vans are guzzlers.

If you can wait until next year, I hear Toyota is coming out with a new hybrid Land Cruiser.

[Anonymous]

I am thinking of applying to Beauvior this fall. My DDCC is very smart and I am confident that she will get in and that the school will be a great fit for her. However, I have a really, really big concern - Do private school families buy shoes from Payless. We do all our shoe shopping at Payless and I get the sense that the private school "barbie" moms shop at Saks. Will my child be riduculed b.c of the shoes, will I be shunned at parent gathering - will any of this affect my child's education. Will it help if I start shopping at Saks, what if I went one better and go to Neiman's instead. I need help, please!!!!

[Anonymous]

Could someone please help me? I need to know your DC's feeding, sleeping, pooping, playing, and general breathing schedule at 2 days, 2 weeks, , 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months...well, you get the idea.

[Anonymous]

DCUM has been banned from my work computer system due to the inappropriate nature of some postings. Mr. Steele - please get on case and investigate immediately! I'm pretty sure that pot is illegal. Is it just possession or distribution? How about swinging? Does it matter if it is in MD, VA, or DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am thinking of applying to Beauvior this fall. My DDCC is very smart and I am confident that she will get in and that the school will be a great fit for her. However, I have a really, really big concern - Do private school families buy shoes from Payless. We do all our shoe shopping at Payless and I get the sense that the private school "barbie" moms shop at Saks. Will my child be riduculed b.c of the shoes, will I be shunned at parent gathering - will any of this affect my child's education. Will it help if I start shopping at Saks, what if I went one better and go to Neiman's instead. I need help, please!!!!

PP, are you really trying to say that you have to shop at Payless because you are in dire financial straits? Yes, 500K really cannot go as far as it did 20 years ago. Don't be ashamed. Beauvoir is firmly committed to diversity in every conceivable way. Once one of the Beauvoir Barbies spots your child in Payless shoes, I should say the day after your child is escorted off the campus, the Barbies will step into high gear. The next day you will see special packages, in very neat and colorful bows, arriving on your doorstep (although it may take 2 days if you live in Rockville). Those packages will contain exquisite shoes from all of those high end stores. So, not to worry. You are one with the Family after all.

PP, if you are actually saying that you shop at Payless out of choice. Well, I can't help you there. My best advice. Don't apply to Beauvoir. Take your cheap shoes, your pot, your swinger lifestyle, and Cotillion hatred and get the hell to GDS or Lowell or Green Acres.