DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

Precisely why they don't organize books at all at GDS. What is the practice at Maret/Beauvoir/Sidwell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

I am far from a racist. I mean, really, my nanny is Mexican and my housekeeper is Thai. As in she's from Taiwan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

I am far from a racist. I mean, really, my nanny is Mexican and my housekeeper is Thai. As in she's from Taiwan.

You have a MEXICAN nanny! Where can I get on of those?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and while we're on the subject,

Giving birth was the most wonderful transformative experience of my life.

It was that experience that made me a real woman, and gave me the empathy and compassion to TRULY love a child.

It must have been a vaginal birth then b/c C-sections don't count as real births. I mean how do you become a "real woman" by having someone cut open your stomach? Nothing transformative about that!

You are an fu*&ing moron. Vaginal births are for animals. Elective c-Sections are the way to go. Check out the perfect round heads on my babies. You can see the pictures and a lot of other intimate details about my family on my web site. Really, check it out; i get a cut everytime I goad someone into visting my web site.

And I just don't understand why people hate me. I am so misunderstood. Maybe it is because I am so much smarter than everyone else. I can be nice; after all, sometimes I offer my discount coupons to people on this site.

I have had it with this site. Goodbye -- I am never coming back (I mean it this time)!

Love,
Amy

I argee. I think vaginal births are so unnatural. Am I the only one who thinks the vagina is gross? It's for sex, not babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need help getting my kid into Beauvoir! How did you get your DC into Beavoir? Can you tell me exactly what questions were on the test? What about the playgroups? Or should I not worry about tests, interviews and playgrous and just focus on the monetary donation? How much money did you give to the school? Was that under the table or did you give it as a legitimate gift? Did they name a wing after your family before or after your child graduated from there?

You might want to check some old threads. Check "How to get DC into Beauvoir" or maybe "What Questions were on the Test for Beauvoir?!!" or "What Playgroups Feed into Beauvoir?" You can also check "Should I worry about the Tests, Interviews and Playgroups for Beauvoir?" or "How much Money to Donate to Get into Beauvoir" or "Under the Table or Legitimate Gifts to Beauvoir...Which One?" or "How to get a Wing Named After You at Beauvoir". Those would be a good starting point, anyway.

Good Luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

I am far from a racist. I mean, really, my nanny is Mexican and my housekeeper is Thai. As in she's from Taiwan.

You have a MEXICAN nanny! Where can I get on of those?

at a swinger's club. obviously. swingers are people too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

I am far from a racist. I mean, really, my nanny is Mexican and my housekeeper is Thai. As in she's from Taiwan.

You have a MEXICAN nanny! Where can I get on of those?

at a swinger's club. obviously. swingers are people too!

Picking up a MEXICAN nanny, in a swingers club is so IMMORAL. I am sick and teary eyed just writing this.

I found mine at the Whole Foods on River Road. I hope the two new Whole Foods on Wisconsin Avenue, you know the one by the Rodeo Drive of Washington in Chevy Chase, and the one in Bethesda, also have a good selection of nannies. OMG. Is that one actually on Wisconsin Ave. at the point where it turns into Rockville Pike? Does that mean it will be in ROCKVILLE. Oh well. You win some and you lose some.

[Anonymous]

We are thinking about adopting. Does anyone know where we can find a quarter Asian, quarter Mexican, quarter White and quarter Native American baby? Preferrably under the age 2 months but trilingual already. Other desirable qualities include great playdate skills, high WPSII test scores, and a nice smile. I understand that these combinations of factors will give us an edge when we apply to the top tier private schools in DC. Do you think Beauvoir should be our number 1 choice?

[Anonymous]

We make 50K a year and are a few miles from the top public schools in the nation however i think it is critical that our children go to top private schools in DC. unfortunately after paying for private school we will have no money to put them through college - so the question is....for those who did not go to college after attending sidwell how high was the offer from goldman sachs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make 50K a year and are a few miles from the top public schools in the nation however i think it is critical that our children go to top private schools in DC. unfortunately after paying for private school we will have no money to put them through college - so the question is....for those who did not go to college after attending sidwell how high was the offer from goldman sachs?

It depends.

Is your DC a Sidwell Lifer, or did DC start in high school?

Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I argee. I think vaginal births are so unnatural. Am I the only one who thinks the vagina is gross? It's for sex, not babies.

I feel the same way about boobs. I think it is horrifying that women claim that it is best for the baby when all it really is is an excuse to flash boob. i secretly like to look. Does that mean I am gay?

[Anonymous]

I'm a "to each her own" kind of gal. Whatever works for you. Whatever blows your skirt up. Live and let live. There's more than one way to skin a cat. I don't judge, name-call, or think I'm better than anyone else.

However....

What is with these lazy, pathetic, stupid people who pay someone else to do anything that they can physically do? I scrub down my house, do oil changes and repairs on all of our cars, home school our children, grow all of our own produce, butcher our own meat (and the neighbors that complain about the slaughterhouse that is now our yard are just jealous), make all of our clothes, and have devised an alternative form of energy that involves our 3 year old riding his tricycle that is hooked up to a generator for 15 hours a day. It's good exercise and teaches him character. Kids these days are fat and lazy, especially around here. And I still manage to find time to host nightly scrapbooking parties and get together with my friends. Wait - I have no friends. But STILL.

[Anonymous]

Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

No one asked you to read this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you all please stop arguing about vaginal births versus C-Sections?!!!!

Seriously, we're all MOMS here!!! Why is it every time some VB (vaginal birth) mentions something about an epidural or something, all of a sudden all these CS's (C-Sections) start bashing them! Your decisions may not be the same as mine!!!! But let's all be civil!!!!!

Is this subtle, even sophisticated humor. Or have you wandered into the wrong thread? If the former, too smart for my taste. If the latter, shoo.