Advice from Parents of *Minority Students*

[Anonymous]

We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

[Anonymous]

20:10 PP, THANKS for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

Thank-you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

Thank-you

You're welcome.

The biggest advice I can share is to work very, very hard to protect your children's self-esteem. There are so many negative messages, negative people, hatefulness, etc. They will need to persist through this and excel. That's a hard (and lonely) road.

The biggest relief for me was that boys were a non-factor for all of them during high school. They had friends and did sports and activities. They volunteered and we did a lot with our faith community (Bahai) that aligned with service, community care, etc. I kept those girls busy busy, but I think it was the right call. I also supplemented at home. Make them study for the tests, look over what they didn't understand -- don't be afraid -- and work on those things. Foster their interests

And talk money. A lot. Explain how investing work, salaries, retirement, etc. We are retiring soon and a big thing was back in my 20's when Suze Orman was on random TV shows like Oprah that triggered my own realization that I needed more than money. I needed investments to have the life I wanted.

Also, you will be iced out by parents. I lost a lot of friends whose kids were pushing hateful, racist BS. They didn't want to address the issues, so the years of elementary PTA work to make friends was for nothing, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You won't see much important from parents here. They're mostly white and love making fun of black students at any moment. I'd reach out to other parents in your community who are sympathetic. People here like inequality.

People here like the students admitted to top colleges to be equally qualified. Do you really think that super-liberal Pomona would stop offering admission to highly qualified black kids if they had the opportunity? If you do, you are delusional. The number of college-ready whites and Asians dwarfs the number of college-ready blacks and Hispanics. It's time we get to work on K-12 and fix that, but fudging it with doctored college admissions serves no ones interests.

yes there was a such a bad crisis that when Pomona had a nearly 18% black class, the graduation rate plummeted and the GPAs diminished to 0....oh wait, that never happened and the graduation rate, fellowship achievement, and average gpa all stayed the same! It's almost like there's a lot more "college ready" kids than DCUM thinks, but it doesn't fit a certain (racist) narrative.

Very few universities fail students out unless they don’t show up to class.

The question is whether universities should have race based standards for admissions.

If they were worse students, why would they be receiving fellowships and why wouldn't average gpas fall? How come the first Rhodes scholar in two decades of the college's history is a black woman: https://www.pomona.edu/news/2025/04/24-shark-mutulili-25-named-rhodes-scholar ? You're telling me grad schools would accept poorer quality students for the fun and giggles of it? We really need to start identifying people like you for who you are: a racist. You dislike black people, you don't believe they can achieve things, and you want them to fail because it needs to be true for your personal narrative that you've built up. It's gross and bordering an illness, but people like you continue out in the world ruining workplace and academic environments with your trashy attitudes.

Oh look, another poster who thinks opposing racial discrimination in college admissions makes you a racist…

Race should never be a factor in employment decisions or admissions to schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry your family went through this. That’s awful that outsiders set lower expectations for your kids, and I’m glad you were there to help them fight that. Congratulations to your kids for their accomplishments. Let’s hope things improve for everyone. I can’t say I understand how it is because I don’t know how it feels to be discouraged from aiming higher, the way your kids were. I’m Asian-American and my kid just went through the admissions process in 2024. I guess one can say we’re facing the process from a position of overinflated external expectations and that has its own challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry your family went through this. That’s awful that outsiders set lower expectations for your kids, and I’m glad you were there to help them fight that. Congratulations to your kids for their accomplishments. Let’s hope things improve for everyone. I can’t say I understand how it is because I don’t know how it feels to be discouraged from aiming higher, the way your kids were. I’m Asian-American and my kid just went through the admissions process in 2024. I guess one can say we’re facing the process from a position of overinflated external expectations and that has its own challenges.

Not the person you're responding to, but I appreciate your understanding coming from the Asian American community. There are a lot of DCUM trolls who are/clam to be Asian American who are very racist in their takes against blacks.. History has shown that there are more Asian American allies than trolls. Just not in DCUM. 😁

Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry your family went through this. That’s awful that outsiders set lower expectations for your kids, and I’m glad you were there to help them fight that. Congratulations to your kids for their accomplishments. Let’s hope things improve for everyone. I can’t say I understand how it is because I don’t know how it feels to be discouraged from aiming higher, the way your kids were. I’m Asian-American and my kid just went through the admissions process in 2024. I guess one can say we’re facing the process from a position of overinflated external expectations and that has its own challenges.

Not the person you're responding to, but I appreciate your understanding coming from the Asian American community. There are a lot of DCUM trolls who are/clam to be Asian American who are very racist in their takes against blacks.. History has shown that there are more Asian American allies than trolls. Just not in DCUM. 😁

Thanks again.

A big part of it is generational so hopefully it will get better down the road.

A couple of years ago AA was on the ballot in CA. Asian kids were protesting in favor while their parents were voting against. It gives me hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a black family. In terms of support, outcome, etc. You are going to have to bake in the cake that there is going to be racism. All of my kids scored btw 1450-1580 on the SAT and were above a 4.3 GPA. All of them were well in the window of what someone would need to get in where they applied. All of them were seriously, seriously discouraged from applying to highly selective schools. We took over the process for our oldest and here's out it shook out.

DD1. Went to a 7 sisters college. Attended medical school after doing peace corps. Is (still) in her medical training.

DD2. Went to UVA. Landed the Jefferson DESPITE terrible recommendations. We weren't planning on her attending but the money was good and UVA had the program she wanted. Finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences on the west coast.

DD3. Went to Chicago. Went into banking. Got a fun MBA. Went back to finance and hates it and wants to do something else, but isn't sure what.

DD4 at an IVY.

All of these kids were actively discouraged. I've had parents say some out and out hateful things, disparaging their hard work. It is what it is. People use racism as a way to screw people and get a financially higher up on the ladder. It is ALWAYS about money and resources. I did time in biglaw and it was horrendous and racist and terrible. Went to DOJ where things were awesome until recently. Working in house and it's fine. DH is a PA and he's able to just quit if his environment is terrible. We both know what it's like to move in this country. It's just awful, but if you want resources, a good life, etc. you just keep moving.

Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry your family went through this. That’s awful that outsiders set lower expectations for your kids, and I’m glad you were there to help them fight that. Congratulations to your kids for their accomplishments. Let’s hope things improve for everyone. I can’t say I understand how it is because I don’t know how it feels to be discouraged from aiming higher, the way your kids were. I’m Asian-American and my kid just went through the admissions process in 2024. I guess one can say we’re facing the process from a position of overinflated external expectations and that has its own challenges.

Not the person you're responding to, but I appreciate your understanding coming from the Asian American community. There are a lot of DCUM trolls who are/clam to be Asian American who are very racist in their takes against blacks.. History has shown that there are more Asian American allies than trolls. Just not in DCUM. 😁

Thanks again.

Read up on Eileen Huang’s letter:

https://asiannetwork.yale.edu/news/letter-yale-student-chinese-american-community" target="_new" rel="nofollow"> https://asiannetwork.yale.edu/news/letter-yale-student-chinese-american-community