Halloween dis-invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did people not watch inside out 2? Riley is a good kid who was a bad friend for 1 school season. These things happen. It stinks. The kids who get through it are better friends for it.

That movie will just teach some of these mothers that their kids really have undiagnosed anxiety when they rescind invitations. They are powerless against the forces of puberty and their kids are really kind deep deep deep deep down, its just not apparent in the behavior……

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting.

NP. No, she sees you accurately. Moms who are pissy about this are exclusive not inclusive, weak-willed and passive-aggressive instead of honest, and generally UMC and somewhat classist. You don’t extend yourselves, you don’t ‘remember’ meeting other parents, you don’t give other families and kids, especially if they’re poorer than you, any grace or benefit of the doubt. You think you offer your DC independence when you shift explicitly to hands-off mode in around 2nd, 3rd grade, and your mothering is largely just gossiping with like-minded twaughts and feeling beleaguered and busy busy busy all the time. You judge mothers like PP who step out and invite people and risk seeming uncool to the basic harem members like your. It’s completely accurate.

Wow, look at the pot calling the kettle black. Do you even see how off putting and high handed you sound? I'm not the poster you responded to btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has really gone outer limits.

Very interesting to see insecurities oozing out when the conversation had nothing to do with those things at all.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting.

NP. No, she sees you accurately. Moms who are pissy about this are exclusive not inclusive, weak-willed and passive-aggressive instead of honest, and generally UMC and somewhat classist. You don’t extend yourselves, you don’t ‘remember’ meeting other parents, you don’t give other families and kids, especially if they’re poorer than you, any grace or benefit of the doubt. You think you offer your DC independence when you shift explicitly to hands-off mode in around 2nd, 3rd grade, and your mothering is largely just gossiping with like-minded twaughts and feeling beleaguered and busy busy busy all the time. You judge mothers like PP who step out and invite people and risk seeming uncool to the basic harem members like your. It’s completely accurate.

Wow, look at the pot calling the kettle black. Do you even see how off putting and high handed you sound? I'm not the poster you responded to btw.

I didn’t log on to talk with you. You’re not important. The dynamic that PP discussed is all over this thread. Wow indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

How diverse is your kid's friend group? Your post sounds very familiar. You are probably the Indian mom in this forum who constantly says she is non Christian non white, praises herself about her home coming parties and other parties where everyone is included. I bet most of the parents in your group are from your own culture.

Ah. I’m not that mom but you’re a white mom with kids with weak analytical skills, and are no doubt one of the many, many women who get supremely pissed at the academic prowess of the South Asian kids in DMV schools. Good luck, dummy! Please do share DC’s actual college admissions here, should be a real hoot.

Ha I knew you were Indian just by the way you write. Too bad you couldn't figure out that I am Indian too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting.

NP. No, she sees you accurately. Moms who are pissy about this are exclusive not inclusive, weak-willed and passive-aggressive instead of honest, and generally UMC and somewhat classist. You don’t extend yourselves, you don’t ‘remember’ meeting other parents, you don’t give other families and kids, especially if they’re poorer than you, any grace or benefit of the doubt. You think you offer your DC independence when you shift explicitly to hands-off mode in around 2nd, 3rd grade, and your mothering is largely just gossiping with like-minded twaughts and feeling beleaguered and busy busy busy all the time. You judge mothers like PP who step out and invite people and risk seeming uncool to the basic harem members like your. It’s completely accurate.

Wow, look at the pot calling the kettle black. Do you even see how off putting and high handed you sound? I'm not the poster you responded to btw.

I didn’t log on to talk with you. You’re not important. The dynamic that PP discussed is all over this thread. Wow indeed.

Off your meds??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did people not watch inside out 2? Riley is a good kid who was a bad friend for 1 school season. These things happen. It stinks. The kids who get through it are better friends for it.

That movie will just teach some of these mothers that their kids really have undiagnosed anxiety when they rescind invitations. They are powerless against the forces of puberty and their kids are really kind deep deep deep deep down, its just not apparent in the behavior……

OR it teaches that kids aren’t born good friends and don’t necessarily just copy their parents or obey their parents’ commands. They feel, they learn, they figure this out. It’s a process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

How diverse is your kid's friend group? Your post sounds very familiar. You are probably the Indian mom in this forum who constantly says she is non Christian non white, praises herself about her home coming parties and other parties where everyone is included. I bet most of the parents in your group are from your own culture.

Ah. I’m not that mom but you’re a white mom with kids with weak analytical skills, and are no doubt one of the many, many women who get supremely pissed at the academic prowess of the South Asian kids in DMV schools. Good luck, dummy! Please do share DC’s actual college admissions here, should be a real hoot.

Ha I knew you were Indian just by the way you write. Too bad you couldn't figure out that I am Indian too.

I’m not Indian. But your attitude is not surprising. It’s going to rebound on you and DC quite badly one day soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I’ve just make my own plan for my 3 kids each year. We leave our neighborhood and go to my parents’ more festive and full of kids neighborhood. My kids don’t feel pressure to make their own plans because they know we already have plans if they don’t have one. So far they have preferred to stick together on Halloween.

This only works if you have more than one child. For those of us with just the one, your advice is not useful.

This also doesn’t really work once kids are middle-high school age because most (not all) kids that age want to be w peers not their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting.

NP. No, she sees you accurately. Moms who are pissy about this are exclusive not inclusive, weak-willed and passive-aggressive instead of honest, and generally UMC and somewhat classist. You don’t extend yourselves, you don’t ‘remember’ meeting other parents, you don’t give other families and kids, especially if they’re poorer than you, any grace or benefit of the doubt. You think you offer your DC independence when you shift explicitly to hands-off mode in around 2nd, 3rd grade, and your mothering is largely just gossiping with like-minded twaughts and feeling beleaguered and busy busy busy all the time. You judge mothers like PP who step out and invite people and risk seeming uncool to the basic harem members like your. It’s completely accurate.

This is the most insane screed I’ve read on dcum. First of all, referencing second grade on a board for teens and tweens.

Second for suggesting I’m “weak willed and passive” because I am not hosting a 50 person party on Halloween. I don’t care what PP does. If she wants to open her doors to her entire neighborhood, she can feel free and of course I wouldn’t judge her.

The person judging is OP - judging my teens, my “culture” (as if she even knows what that is!!), you for judging my personality.

Just no - no one is obligated to host Halloween at all, much less obligated to invite all their tween and teens’ friends’ parents. Get a life and your own friends instead of trying to live through your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting.

You have no culture. American Consumerist HyperDefensive Slightly Chubby MamaBear is not a culture, it’s an affliction.

News flash - you don’t know my culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has really gone outer limits.

Very interesting to see insecurities oozing out when the conversation had nothing to do with those things at all.

The poster who suggested a party was offering solutions and she’s dead-on with why women of a certain age regard that as mortifying and impossible. It’s because they’re solipsistic and can’t conceive of being decent, and so they’re raising jackasses.

That poster was not “suggesting a party” - she was insisting that everyone do it her way or they are inhospitable and of a lesser culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents.

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too. When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive. As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events. The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend. AND the party happens before ToT starts. They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid. Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other. Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis. You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone. So you spin your wheels.

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting.

You have no culture. American Consumerist HyperDefensive Slightly Chubby MamaBear is not a culture, it’s an affliction.

News flash - you don’t know my culture.

I do, and so did PP. And unlike you all, I don’t live through DC, who are great at making and keeping friends over years. I’m better than you and raising DC that are better than yours as far as grades, abilities and social skills. DH and I aren’t petty, don’t exclude, and don’t make excuses. And I relish in calling things what they are here, and know you’re whiny because it’s accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has really gone outer limits.

Very interesting to see insecurities oozing out when the conversation had nothing to do with those things at all.

The poster who suggested a party was offering solutions and she’s dead-on with why women of a certain age regard that as mortifying and impossible. It’s because they’re solipsistic and can’t conceive of being decent, and so they’re raising jackasses.

No, that woman was suggesting you have to invite every kid, every sibling, every parent. Every kid in the class? The school? Every friend and friend of friend? I mean, I guess you can't entertain unless you're feeding 50 people. 100 people. 200 people. Because God forbid, then someone will be excluded.

Why doesn't she just ensure that her child is normal and has friends. Then he won't be excluded. The end.

She didn’t write that.

Don’t come crying here when you overhear people calling you and your kids dumb little Bs and laughing at your kid’s ugly phase, their college rejections, your husband’s open cheating, and your widening figure. The end.

Yes she did. Learn to read.

“You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend.“

Now imagine you have three teens and they want to invite ten kids and now you have to invite parents and maybe step parents and you can see how it’s just total nonsense. No, it’s ok to host pizza for the teen that asks and not open it up to all their family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has really gone outer limits.

Very interesting to see insecurities oozing out when the conversation had nothing to do with those things at all.

The poster who suggested a party was offering solutions and she’s dead-on with why women of a certain age regard that as mortifying and impossible. It’s because they’re solipsistic and can’t conceive of being decent, and so they’re raising jackasses.

No, that woman was suggesting you have to invite every kid, every sibling, every parent. Every kid in the class? The school? Every friend and friend of friend? I mean, I guess you can't entertain unless you're feeding 50 people. 100 people. 200 people. Because God forbid, then someone will be excluded.

Why doesn't she just ensure that her child is normal and has friends. Then he won't be excluded. The end.

She didn’t write that.

Don’t come crying here when you overhear people calling you and your kids dumb little Bs and laughing at your kid’s ugly phase, their college rejections, your husband’s open cheating, and your widening figure. The end.

This has to be a troll. No one is this crazy.