What I’m noticing from millennial high achieving moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

lol major eye roll from me too. Our PTA is full of SAHMs who literally make up jobs that don’t need done so they can say they do something. No, the bake sale doesn’t need a 50 person planning committee with an 18 month runway. Simmer down, it’s no longer “for the kids”

What is your problem? My kids are at a private school and I am so grateful to the SAHMs who do the planning for the school events. I almost always contribute something or volunteer my time on the day of, but have no bandwidth for the organizational work that they do.

My kids are at a public school and attend PTA-sponsored and planned after school activities and school events. It takes some extremely dedicated parents to put those together. We did not have any bake sales fwiw. Say what you want about the motivation behind the SAHPs’ activity, but it ends up benefiting society unlike many of the high-powered “flexable” jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also see high achieving women doing mostly natural births.

I see the opposite. Esp now that it’s been shown that epidurals are safer and better than going without and thus the shame has been stripped away.

It is like marathon training, though. It's about proving to yourself and others that you can do it.

I see a lot of pro-natural birth chatter online but IRL I only know one person who actually wanted to try it (it was not successful). There seems to be a lot of misinformation spouted about epidurals too, like overstating the risk of complications and suggesting that you won’t be able to move or have control over your body.

I was interested in getting a epidural but I did what the doctor said would be best for my deliveries. They didn’t want the possibility of slowing down the birth of my son so no epidural or drugs. I was induced with my daughter, excruciating contractions but i wasn’t far enough along to get an epidural. This went on for about seven hours of the most painful contractions. When I was finally ok’d for an epidural the baby started making fast progress and she practically flew out.

So no epidurals and I had two natural pregnancies. So what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

lol major eye roll from me too. Our PTA is full of SAHMs who literally make up jobs that don’t need done so they can say they do something. No, the bake sale doesn’t need a 50 person planning committee with an 18 month runway. Simmer down, it’s no longer “for the kids”

What is your problem? My kids are at a private school and I am so grateful to the SAHMs who do the planning for the school events. I almost always contribute something or volunteer my time on the day of, but have no bandwidth for the organizational work that they do.

My kids are at a public school and attend PTA-sponsored and planned after school activities and school events. It takes some extremely dedicated parents to put those together. We did not have any bake sales fwiw. Say what you want about the motivation behind the SAHPs’ activity, but it ends up benefiting society unlike many of the high-powered “flexable” jobs

Wait, are you seriously trying to say that a bunch of entitled AH’s pulling down millions of dollars a year aren’t automatically contributing to “society” and not just their own bank accounts? Get out of here with that Eurotrash garbage take. This is America! Making lots of money = better than everyone else in every way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's Boomer mom must be dismayed that her expensively Montessori-to-Ivy educated daughter still spells "a lot" as "alot"

That’s a common mistake public school kids make. Private elementary school students would never.

Before anyone objects, it’s a joke, lighten up.

[Anonymous]

Based on the college posts on the college and universities discussion on this forum very few of your kids and other kids in general from the area are not going to Ivy League schools. Many are headed to state schools including UVA.

My family is full of Ivy League graduates, state school graduates, professional athletes, artists, trade schools. There is no guarantee that your children will follow your footsteps. Some will actively run away from your lifestyles.

I’d be careful stereotyping so many people and trying to put people in boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work.

I think what you describe is more typical of middle or lower middle class.
Op is describing upper middle class millennials

No. I’m describing high upper income millennials in their late 30s and early 40s. I’m talking about husbands that make 7x Fed fin reg attorneys and 4x midlevel and above management at F100s. They overwhelmingly have SAHWs in my circle.

I have no idea what any of this means so am guessing this some dc insider bs.

My last 10 years were between london/ nyc and la and what op describes is absolutely true of umc in those places. You are rarely seeing umc sahms among millennial cohort. I’ve also seen moms go back to work after time off who clearly have $20m+ net worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also see high achieving women doing mostly natural births.

I see the opposite. Esp now that it’s been shown that epidurals are safer and better than going without and thus the shame has been stripped away.

It is like marathon training, though. It's about proving to yourself and others that you can do it.

I see a lot of pro-natural birth chatter online but IRL I only know one person who actually wanted to try it (it was not successful). There seems to be a lot of misinformation spouted about epidurals too, like overstating the risk of complications and suggesting that you won’t be able to move or have control over your body.

I was interested in getting a epidural but I did what the doctor said would be best for my deliveries. They didn’t want the possibility of slowing down the birth of my son so no epidural or drugs. I was induced with my daughter, excruciating contractions but i wasn’t far enough along to get an epidural. This went on for about seven hours of the most painful contractions. When I was finally ok’d for an epidural the baby started making fast progress and she practically flew out.

So no epidurals and I had two natural pregnancies. So what.

Go away with your fake news .
No doctor ever told you epidural would slow down anything. You forget most of us are moms and we know. We had babies. Lie to us about something else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

lol major eye roll from me too. Our PTA is full of SAHMs who literally make up jobs that don’t need done so they can say they do something. No, the bake sale doesn’t need a 50 person planning committee with an 18 month runway. Simmer down, it’s no longer “for the kids”

What is your problem? My kids are at a private school and I am so grateful to the SAHMs who do the planning for the school events. I almost always contribute something or volunteer my time on the day of, but have no bandwidth for the organizational work that they do.

My kids are at a public school and attend PTA-sponsored and planned after school activities and school events. It takes some extremely dedicated parents to put those together. We did not have any bake sales fwiw. Say what you want about the motivation behind the SAHPs’ activity, but it ends up benefiting society unlike many of the high-powered “flexable” jobs

Lady if you went back to work your kids could maybe go to private and you wouldn’t need an unpaid job trying to make their existing school better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's Boomer mom must be dismayed that her expensively Montessori-to-Ivy educated daughter still spells "a lot" as "alot"

Pure gold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

lol major eye roll from me too. Our PTA is full of SAHMs who literally make up jobs that don’t need done so they can say they do something. No, the bake sale doesn’t need a 50 person planning committee with an 18 month runway. Simmer down, it’s no longer “for the kids”

What is your problem? My kids are at a private school and I am so grateful to the SAHMs who do the planning for the school events. I almost always contribute something or volunteer my time on the day of, but have no bandwidth for the organizational work that they do.

My kids are at a public school and attend PTA-sponsored and planned after school activities and school events. It takes some extremely dedicated parents to put those together. We did not have any bake sales fwiw. Say what you want about the motivation behind the SAHPs’ activity, but it ends up benefiting society unlike many of the high-powered “flexable” jobs

Lady if you went back to work your kids could maybe go to private and you wouldn’t need an unpaid job trying to make their existing school better

I don’t think you get it. Many of these “ladies” can afford any private they want and don’t neeed a job. They choose to improve the public school experience for the public and not just for their kid. I feel bad they are met with so much disdain rather than appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work.

I think what you describe is more typical of middle or lower middle class.
Op is describing upper middle class millennials

No. I’m describing high upper income millennials in their late 30s and early 40s. I’m talking about husbands that make 7x Fed fin reg attorneys and 4x midlevel and above management at F100s. They overwhelmingly have SAHWs in my circle.

My circle are dual earners with HHI over $3mm

Aren’t the oldest millennials 43? ALL of your friends are 38-43 year old men who make $3 million and have SAH wives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also see high achieving women doing mostly natural births.

I see the opposite. Esp now that it’s been shown that epidurals are safer and better than going without and thus the shame has been stripped away.

It is like marathon training, though. It's about proving to yourself and others that you can do it.

I see a lot of pro-natural birth chatter online but IRL I only know one person who actually wanted to try it (it was not successful). There seems to be a lot of misinformation spouted about epidurals too, like overstating the risk of complications and suggesting that you won’t be able to move or have control over your body.

I was interested in getting a epidural but I did what the doctor said would be best for my deliveries. They didn’t want the possibility of slowing down the birth of my son so no epidural or drugs. I was induced with my daughter, excruciating contractions but i wasn’t far enough along to get an epidural. This went on for about seven hours of the most painful contractions. When I was finally ok’d for an epidural the baby started making fast progress and she practically flew out.

So no epidurals and I had two natural pregnancies. So what.

Go away with your fake news .
No doctor ever told you epidural would slow down anything. You forget most of us are moms and we know. We had babies. Lie to us about something else

Someone is using this forum to talk about epidurals? Pls go to the pregnancy section and post. Or maybe use your bday post for your kid on on instagram to talk about your epidural experience!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work.

I think what you describe is more typical of middle or lower middle class.
Op is describing upper middle class millennials

Really, middle or lower class would be making 10 - 15% of HHI with a fed attorney salary?? I didn't realize lower or middle class hhi was 1 mil but this is DCUM

Ha! I had that thought too. What is pp talking about that a seven figure HHI is lower middle class?

This thread isn’t about husbands income. It’s about a woman’s status regardless of their husband’s job. The question is if these women were high achievers/ Ivy League type grad in fields like law, medicine , engineering, etc. these are the woman we are discussing.

Many posters conflate high-achieving and high-earning. I know know many academics (PIs, tenured professors). Many of them are well-recognized in their respective fields but not necessarily highly compensated.

I don’t think it’s a conflation. Being an award winning NIH scientist is very impressive but making $160K at 36 in DC after attending Harvard and Cambridge for years is not that impressive. Barely or not being able to afford a house in your late 30s or not being able to have your first kid until 35 or 36 due to post doc obligations is not really a flex. Two of my friends meet the above criteria except one is at NIH and one is a professor in Europe (trying to be deliberately vague so I don’t identify them). They are both 36 and married to nice guys who are not high earners. Neither owns a house. One has two children and one just had her first. Kids are all in daycare settings all day due to work obligations and the cost of a nanny. I am in tech and thankful every day that I did not pursue a DPhil and that life. I make double what they do and am remote. I also met my very successful husband working in the real world. Having money is a total flex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work.

I think what you describe is more typical of middle or lower middle class.
Op is describing upper middle class millennials

Really, middle or lower class would be making 10 - 15% of HHI with a fed attorney salary?? I didn't realize lower or middle class hhi was 1 mil but this is DCUM

Ha! I had that thought too. What is pp talking about that a seven figure HHI is lower middle class?

This thread isn’t about husbands income. It’s about a woman’s status regardless of their husband’s job. The question is if these women were high achievers/ Ivy League type grad in fields like law, medicine , engineering, etc. these are the woman we are discussing.

Many posters conflate high-achieving and high-earning. I know know many academics (PIs, tenured professors). Many of them are well-recognized in their respective fields but not necessarily highly compensated.

I don’t think it’s a conflation. Being an award winning NIH scientist is very impressive but making $160K at 36 in DC after attending Harvard and Cambridge for years is not that impressive. Barely or not being able to afford a house in your late 30s or not being able to have your first kid until 35 or 36 due to post doc obligations is not really a flex. Two of my friends meet the above criteria except one is at NIH and one is a professor in Europe (trying to be deliberately vague so I don’t identify them). They are both 36 and married to nice guys who are not high earners. Neither owns a house. One has two children and one just had her first. Kids are all in daycare settings all day due to work obligations and the cost of a nanny. I am in tech and thankful every day that I did not pursue a DPhil and that life. I make double what they do and am remote. I also met my very successful husband working in the real world. Having money is a total flex.

🤮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work.

I think what you describe is more typical of middle or lower middle class.
Op is describing upper middle class millennials

Really, middle or lower class would be making 10 - 15% of HHI with a fed attorney salary?? I didn't realize lower or middle class hhi was 1 mil but this is DCUM

Ha! I had that thought too. What is pp talking about that a seven figure HHI is lower middle class?

This thread isn’t about husbands income. It’s about a woman’s status regardless of their husband’s job. The question is if these women were high achievers/ Ivy League type grad in fields like law, medicine , engineering, etc. these are the woman we are discussing.

Many posters conflate high-achieving and high-earning. I know know many academics (PIs, tenured professors). Many of them are well-recognized in their respective fields but not necessarily highly compensated.

I don’t think it’s a conflation. Being an award winning NIH scientist is very impressive but making $160K at 36 in DC after attending Harvard and Cambridge for years is not that impressive. Barely or not being able to afford a house in your late 30s or not being able to have your first kid until 35 or 36 due to post doc obligations is not really a flex. Two of my friends meet the above criteria except one is at NIH and one is a professor in Europe (trying to be deliberately vague so I don’t identify them). They are both 36 and married to nice guys who are not high earners. Neither owns a house. One has two children and one just had her first. Kids are all in daycare settings all day due to work obligations and the cost of a nanny. I am in tech and thankful every day that I did not pursue a DPhil and that life. I make double what they do and am remote. I also met my very successful husband working in the real world. Having money is a total flex.

Curing cancer/ being an award-winning scientist for $160k a year is a bigger flex in my book than being a glorified salesperson for loads of money. I agree that scientists need to be paid more.