It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Except if you read your own link, only 18% are categorized as "unwanted." The rest are people who want kids but get pregnant before they mean to. These get categorized as unplanned but are different.

Also a lot of unplanned but wanted pregnancies are subsequent children. So they are already parents.

But people are often not keeping a tight leash in how and when their family grows. That is the point

[Anonymous]

I've only ever met people who deeply wished they had at least 1 child. Never met someone who regretted having kids. I feel sorry for childless people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Except if you read your own link, only 18% are categorized as "unwanted." The rest are people who want kids but get pregnant before they mean to. These get categorized as unplanned but are different.

Also a lot of unplanned but wanted pregnancies are subsequent children. So they are already parents.

Mostly they aren't really trying, but aren't "not" trying either. So technically unplanned but not unwelcome nor unwanted. They just aren't using birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Except if you read your own link, only 18% are categorized as "unwanted." The rest are people who want kids but get pregnant before they mean to. These get categorized as unplanned but are different.

Also a lot of unplanned but wanted pregnancies are subsequent children. So they are already parents.

But people are often not keeping a tight leash in how and when their family grows. That is the point

But they could if they wanted to. They know how babies are made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Except if you read your own link, only 18% are categorized as "unwanted." The rest are people who want kids but get pregnant before they mean to. These get categorized as unplanned but are different.

Also a lot of unplanned but wanted pregnancies are subsequent children. So they are already parents.

Mostly they aren't really trying, but aren't "not" trying either. So technically unplanned but not unwelcome nor unwanted. They just aren't using birth control.

Are they taking advice about this life altering event from 14 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Except if you read your own link, only 18% are categorized as "unwanted." The rest are people who want kids but get pregnant before they mean to. These get categorized as unplanned but are different.

Also a lot of unplanned but wanted pregnancies are subsequent children. So they are already parents.

Mostly they aren't really trying, but aren't "not" trying either. So technically unplanned but not unwelcome nor unwanted. They just aren't using birth control.

Are they taking advice about this life altering event from 14 year olds?

If you know people with kids, then you know who "they" are.

[Anonymous]

Related to a previous poster - you usually regret what you DIDN’T do and not what you did do. Sure I may regret not going a European vacation (and feel like I missed something fun) because I had a child at home but I am not going to regret having my child. A child free person is glad that they had their many vacations but in the end looking back, would they regret not having children? It’s highly possible. Not at the moment but down the line possibly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Except if you read your own link, only 18% are categorized as "unwanted." The rest are people who want kids but get pregnant before they mean to. These get categorized as unplanned but are different.

Also a lot of unplanned but wanted pregnancies are subsequent children. So they are already parents.

Mostly they aren't really trying, but aren't "not" trying either. So technically unplanned but not unwelcome nor unwanted. They just aren't using birth control.

Are they taking advice about this life altering event from 14 year olds?

No they are okay getting pregnant but approaching it passively. This was us. We made the affirmative choice to go off birth control and see what happened but we're surprised how quickly I got pregnant. We were older and kind if assumed it would take longer or we might even need fertility help.

Our kid was "unplanned" but wanted. We're UMC professionals in our 30s. We did have to scramble a bit when I found out I was pregnant because we wound up moving and I wound up changing jobs. We had assumed it might take as long as 2-3 years and instead it took a week. But it all worked out and we're very happy we're parents.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have kids, why are you on a parenting forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:G.d. This is a mean bunch of women.

Truly. I feel sorry for their kids, especially the “I pity you” poster. How unkind you are and how sad for your children to have a mother like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have kids, why are you on a parenting forum?

It raises some questions. Even if they are just looking at the non-parent threads the choice to come on here specifically to discuss whether or not parents regret having kids speaks to a weird level of interest in other people's choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have kids, why are you on a parenting forum?

Because they are envious and want to know what they are missing out on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:G.d. This is a mean bunch of women.

Truly. I feel sorry for their kids, especially the “I pity you” poster. How unkind you are and how sad for your children to have a mother like you.

OP came on here specifically to say "oh hmm it seems like all the parents I know wish they were like me and hadn't had kids -- what is up with that." They were specifically trying to provoke parents into saying "no I do not regret my choice" and it was inevitable that some people would clap back with "not only do I not envy you I pity you."

This whole thread is just trolling. Including you with your "how sad for your children" bit.

Try harder. This is so boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

Well, 45% of all pregnancies in the US unintended, so it is not quite the curated plan that you describe.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-united-states

Unintended and unwanted pregnancies are 2 different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Childfree women are usually happier than parents when young and less happy when old.

That’s actually not reflected in the sociological research. Single childfree women are happier overall at all adult life stages.