The helicopter parents won - a look back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever happened to just letting kids be kids. All of these high level classes and activities, the sheer amount of activities really. When do kids just have time to have fun anymore, for free time or to in person, organically play/hang out with friends? People are saying kids are missing out by not being pushed harder, but they're really missing out by being pushed so hard.

You have to have no experience with modern childhood to have that opinion.

Screens have utterly changed childhood. If you don’t want a kid who is addicted to tic tok, overweight, pre diabetic, and no social skills. Parents have to be intentional about kid activities. Even if you are one of the few “ no screens” families everyone around has screens so it’s up to you to provide screen free activities.

Sports are by far the easiest way to do this. Pls for the sake of humanity keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into an athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

Truth right here

It sounds like a defeatist sad sack mentality. Your kid will never be good so why bother even trying? But, how would you know without trying? There are so many good life lessons in the process. Why would you discourage a kid from trying their best, setting goals, challenging themselves? What's the alternative? Sounds like it's doing nothing and just hating on everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Bahh….y’all sound crazy to me. Success to mean means happiness, and happiness comes from meeting expectations. Lower expectations mean higher chances of happiness. Play sports for fun, work enough for shelter, food and backup in case you get sick and can’t work anymore…everything else is gravy, and we all die quickly enough and alone anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into a athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

DP but what about PPs kid suggested they were "unathletic" seems like you're just looking to be a jerk. Do you have any data to support that student athletes are in worse shape mentally and physically compared to the non-student athletes? I haven't heard of a kid on the tennis team shooting up a school recently, have you?

I hope your bar for a kids well-being is not whether they shoot up a school. That being said, there is data that supports that kids that focus on one sport in today's Uber-competitive environment are at more risk for overuse injuries as well as mental burnout. It doesn't mean they're necessarily worse off that kids that don't participate in sports, but it could be inferred that athletes today or worse off overall than what they could be, even if they're better skilled at their specific sport. Sadly, there's big bucks involved in keeping kids/parents on the train to chase elite sports performance so there's no going back.

I say this from the position of a former D1 athlete that currently works with professional and collegiate athletes now and a lot of parents are chasing an unattainable dream in an unhealthy/unnecessary manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into a athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

DP but what about PPs kid suggested they were "unathletic" seems like you're just looking to be a jerk. Do you have any data to support that student athletes are in worse shape mentally and physically compared to the non-student athletes? I haven't heard of a kid on the tennis team shooting up a school recently, have you?

Oh, and if their kid was really athletic, they wouldn't have compared them (as a player that plays everyday) to a kid that plays casually. Athletes (and their parents) don't typically compare themselves to casuals... it's the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into an athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

Truth right here

It sounds like a defeatist sad sack mentality. Your kid will never be good so why bother even trying? But, how would you know without trying? There are so many good life lessons in the process. Why would you discourage a kid from trying their best, setting goals, challenging themselves? What's the alternative? Sounds like it's doing nothing and just hating on everyone else.

There's a huge difference between pushing a kid to try their best as a process to develop the kids and teach them life lessons vs pushing a kid beyond what's reasonable/healthy so they can reach a pie in the sky elitist goal. This whole conversation started with an OP lamenting that their seemingly well-adjusted, healthy and happy kids enjoyed a peaceful life and got into good schools but not ivies or aren't playing on scholarship. It's borderline sickness to be disappointed in your child if they don't achieve a status that's reserved for approximately 1-2% of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into a athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

DP but what about PPs kid suggested they were "unathletic" seems like you're just looking to be a jerk. Do you have any data to support that student athletes are in worse shape mentally and physically compared to the non-student athletes? I haven't heard of a kid on the tennis team shooting up a school recently, have you?

Oh, and if their kid was really athletic, they wouldn't have compared them (as a player that plays everyday) to a kid that plays casually. Athletes (and their parents) don't typically compare themselves to casuals... it's the other way around.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a college athlete, you can’t push a child to that level. I have multiple kids. Only one had the drive to play college. I could not have forced it if I’d tried. That has to come from within.

Agree...and I'd say it's not just the drive that the kid has to have, but the talent and genetics if you are talking about D1 for a revenue-generating sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a college athlete, you can’t push a child to that level. I have multiple kids. Only one had the drive to play college. I could not have forced it if I’d tried. That has to come from within.

Agree...and I'd say it's not just the drive that the kid has to have, but the talent and genetics if you are talking about D1 for a revenue-generating sport.

Odds are in nobody’s favor

https://scholarshipstats.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a college athlete, you can’t push a child to that level. I have multiple kids. Only one had the drive to play college. I could not have forced it if I’d tried. That has to come from within.

Agree...and I'd say it's not just the drive that the kid has to have, but the talent and genetics if you are talking about D1 for a revenue-generating sport.

Exactly. I actually believe trying to maximize your kids' potential but the outsized expectations are ridiculous. The current collegiate athlete is increasingly the child of one (or two) high level (pro or collegiate) athlete that has a genetic advantage, in house coaching, an internal drive to be a great athlete, and the means to pay for further individualized training. Parents are trying to make up for the lack of the first 3 advantages by being tiger parents and throwing money at the issue and then being disappointed when it doesn't work out the way they had it mapped out.

Push your child but not at the expense of their enjoyment, well-being, or your disappointment when they turn out to be the person they are and not who you wanted them to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into an athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

Truth right here

Actually sports are good for mental and physical health. Where are you getting this non-sense or is it to justify your unwillingness to parent?

They sound like they were the bitter losers and trying to knock down the athletic kids.

I was a nerdy kid who didn’t play sports. I am not bitter and have no need to knock down teen athletes on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into an athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

Truth right here

Actually sports are good for mental and physical health. Where are you getting this non-sense or is it to justify your unwillingness to parent?

They sound like they were the bitter losers and trying to knock down the athletic kids.

I was a nerdy kid who didn’t play sports. I am not bitter and have no need to knock down teen athletes on the internet.

Nobody is criticizing teens. Sports are good and in my household, essential. However, the benefit should be rooted in the process of sports (teamwork, effort, physical fitness, FUN!!! etc) not the potential financial (college scholarship) return.

[Anonymous]

Same goes for academics, just like sports, you can groom a talent but you can't produce national merit scholars by pushing them to attend a prep academy everyday for several years.

[Anonymous]

*unless kid got what it takes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is all about inner drive. Full stop.
Beyond that, if you do happen to have a genuinely driven kid it is a parents' core responsibility to support them in time, money and encouragement to fulfill their potential.

Rationalize as many do, but any parent who does not do so has seriously done a disservice to their child.

My husband loves tennis. He never had formal tennis lessons. He did make his high school tennis team. He would never make the team around here but back in the early nineties, being athletic and able to hit a tennis ball was enough.

My kids have played tennis since preschool. They played daily during Covid. We have the resources to provide them with the right coaching. A kid who is playing for fun has no chance against my kid who has played almost every day since being able to hold a racquet.

And who really cares? The commodification of sports/intense focus on success in sports as the end is doing more harm than good for your kids. They're burning out, getting injured, suffering mental health, and parents are overspending chasing the delusion that they can mold their kid into a athlete when the ultimate goal should be enjoying the process of sports. Your unathletic but well coached tennis player is not going to play in the U.S. Open and it's weird and unhinged to compare him to a casual for parental bragging rights

DP but what about PPs kid suggested they were "unathletic" seems like you're just looking to be a jerk. Do you have any data to support that student athletes are in worse shape mentally and physically compared to the non-student athletes? I haven't heard of a kid on the tennis team shooting up a school recently, have you?

Oh, and if their kid was really athletic, they wouldn't have compared them (as a player that plays everyday) to a kid that plays casually. Athletes (and their parents) don't typically compare themselves to casuals... it's the other way around.

If you actually had facts you would share them instead of spouting your opinions.