Husband left two-year-old twins home alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember, if you divorce him he no longer has to act in your best interest, the kids' best interest, or even his own best interest.

As if he does any of this.

This clown is just flying by the seat of pants faking his way through life and adulting.

[Anonymous]

A work colleague told me about a time his wife left him home with his infant. He put the baby down for a nap and completely forgot about it. Then, he left to play softball with his friends. Pretty early into the game he remembered the baby and rushed home. So, could be worse--at least your husband remembered that he had children and thought someone else was caring for them. Not trying to make light of what your husband did, but it sounds like an innocent (albeit serious) mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delete this post, OP. Because CPS. I’m serious. Ask Jeff to delete in website feedback.

CPS doesn’t even come when you or a pediatrician or therapist call. So forget them. Unfortunately.

But if you dont go on record with these incidences, then you are equally at fault.

If he is fighting for custody ever that’s the first thing his nasty lawyer will say - you’re at fault, your didn’t call CPS or someone who is required to (doctor, teacher).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, you're overreacting. The kids were not harmed. He made a mistake thinking you were in the house. If it happens again, then I would get upset.

Even if she was in the house why would you leave two 2-year-olds roaming around alone without checking with the person behind a locked door?

This. He knowingly left them unsupervised, because a parent in another room with the door closed is not supervision. It would be different with 5 year old, but toddlers? Good grief.

I also agree that it's a little odd that neither OP nor her husband typically let the other know when going out the door. It seems like a lack of courtesy or teamwork or closeness or something, to not just yell out, "I'm leaving!" when heading out the door.

Too much to remember. He’s too important to remember his wife leaves to pick up the older kid or remember to say Hi or Bye or check in. Busy and important with his own stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree this is a troll, none of this makes sense. Why would someone text a spouse they believed to be in the same house to say they are leaving? And the bathtub story makes no sense, he left the baby because the “thought OP was paying attention to what he was doing”????? Also seems hard for a 6 month old to become submerged in a baby tub.

Also the lack of childcare for toddler twins.

I am not pro OP, but my husband and I both work at home. I work on the first floor, he works on the third floor. I have definitely texted him when leaving the house rather than yelling up the stairs. Now, our kids are older, but if they were younger and napping, I wouldn't yell upstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - when the bathtub incident happened how did he react? did you guys make any changes then? did he feel bad or did he think you were overreacting? how is your relationship otherwise? i agree with PP that you need to take some time to cool down. but then you need to make a plan - you should make him get a neuropsych evaluation - this will be helpful if/when you do pursue divorce. how do you think he would respond to that? does he realize how messed up this is? thank God your twins are ok. look, young kids are hard and we all mess up - but these are really big and scary mess ups. there needs to be some soul searching on his part here. as for you - you know you can't trust him with the kids so you need to overcommunicate - yes it's unfair, but you need to overcompensate for him to keep your children safe.

ALSO for all the dcum lawyers and wannabees saying 50/50 custody until they're blue in the face - that's not always what the dad wants. does he actually think he could parent 3 young children alone half the time? doubtful.

Correct, he’d fade out for weekly dinners or play dates. Just let him save face, which should be easy if he’s this dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did he go?

He didn't notice your car was gone when he left?

If you had your door CLOSED wouldn't someone need to be watching two year old twins? - this is the part that's confusing to me. If I left the house with two year old twins roaming around, i would (1) put them in their cribs or bumbos or whatever and (2) find the other adult to say "he larlo and barlo are in the bumbos" - be back in 15...

something about this story is very off.

It’s pretty straightforward: OP screwed up by leaving her twins to go pick up Her other children. She didn’t let anyone know she left and is now trying to blame her husband for the outcome of her poor parenting decisions.

No you can't let 2 year old twins wander around and just leave the house because you "think" someone is in a room with the door closed. You have to watch 2 year olds ALLLLL the time.

Dumber yet, the preschooler was still in school at that very time. Or at most en route home from school. What an idiot.

Can he even hold down a job? Or is he so senior by now everyone else fixes his krap at work for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I left the house this morning to take preschooler to school. Typically, I am home during the day but today I was out all day and he knew this. He said he was tired from working from home and taking care of the twins all day and he assumed I was back. Even if I had not been out all day, I am never home at that time because I am always at school at that time doing pick up. I am still probably too emotional to talk to him rationally at this point so I proposed discussing it tomorrow.

Sadly, I do not have a time machine to go back and divorce him after the bathtub incident. At the time, everyone said I was overreacting, everyone makes mistakes.

OP - where do you two park? If you both park your cars in your house's garage, how could he not see that your car wasn't there? If one of you parks on the street and the other in the garage, or if you're in an apartment garage, I could understand that part more.

Also, are you a SAHM? And why on earth was he working from home AND taking care of twin toddlers all day? I have twins, and I was never able to work if they were home when they were that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. He sent a text saying he was leaving, which I did not immediately get because I was doing pick up. We had heavy rain today, bad traffic, and preschooler had a difficult afternoon so I did not see his text until I was already back home wondering why toddlers were roaming around alone. By then he was long gone.

He needs to physically talk to a human or call until they pick up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I left the house this morning to take preschooler to school. Typically, I am home during the day but today I was out all day and he knew this. He said he was tired from working from home and taking care of the twins all day and he assumed I was back. Even if I had not been out all day, I am never home at that time because I am always at school at that time doing pick up. I am still probably too emotional to talk to him rationally at this point so I proposed discussing it tomorrow.

Sadly, I do not have a time machine to go back and divorce him after the bathtub incident. At the time, everyone said I was overreacting, everyone makes mistakes.

Your story isn’t making sense. You said they were left alone for half an hour? How do you know this if you’re claiming to have been out all day? Things don’t add up.

Because I asked him how long were they alone and he told me when he left. I have no idea whether he is telling the truth. But he has admitted to leaving a half hour before I got back.

I camera or doorbell to verify when he left?

These types will lie to cover up anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I left the house this morning to take preschooler to school. Typically, I am home during the day but today I was out all day and he knew this. He said he was tired from working from home and taking care of the twins all day and he assumed I was back. Even if I had not been out all day, I am never home at that time because I am always at school at that time doing pick up. I am still probably too emotional to talk to him rationally at this point so I proposed discussing it tomorrow.

Sadly, I do not have a time machine to go back and divorce him after the bathtub incident. At the time, everyone said I was overreacting, everyone makes mistakes.

In your gut, what do you think is really going on? Is he a flake? Is he self-absorbed and struggles to think of others? Does he have ADHD?
What’s his response—remorse? defensive? Share how he reacted.

He has ADHD and anger issues. Response defensive but he eventually did apologize. And yes, very self-absorbed. I feel like I can't trust him alone with the kids. I very rarely leave him with them but sometimes I have no choice.

Ugh, I’m so sorry OP.

Join some support groups and get some hacks down soon. Nanny, AU pair, therapy, meds for him, etc.

[Anonymous]

I really hope this idiot ends up with the idiot who hates her kids because I really hate both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. He sent a text saying he was leaving, which I did not immediately get because I was doing pick up. We had heavy rain today, bad traffic, and preschooler had a difficult afternoon so I did not see his text until I was already back home wondering why toddlers were roaming around alone. By then he was long gone.

So you do know exactly when he left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I left the house this morning to take preschooler to school. Typically, I am home during the day but today I was out all day and he knew this. He said he was tired from working from home and taking care of the twins all day and he assumed I was back. Even if I had not been out all day, I am never home at that time because I am always at school at that time doing pick up. I am still probably too emotional to talk to him rationally at this point so I proposed discussing it tomorrow.

Sadly, I do not have a time machine to go back and divorce him after the bathtub incident. At the time, everyone said I was overreacting, everyone makes mistakes.

Your story isn’t making sense. You said they were left alone for half an hour? How do you know this if you’re claiming to have been out all day? Things don’t add up.

Because I asked him how long were they alone and he told me when he left. I have no idea whether he is telling the truth. But he has admitted to leaving a half hour before I got back.

To the above - he texted you when he left. So you do know how long they were alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree this is a troll, none of this makes sense. Why would someone text a spouse they believed to be in the same house to say they are leaving? And the bathtub story makes no sense, he left the baby because the “thought OP was paying attention to what he was doing”????? Also seems hard for a 6 month old to become submerged in a baby tub.

Also the lack of childcare for toddler twins.

Because he’s an angry man with anger issues that doesn’t feel like dealing with his wife so he texts and dips. He’s a jerk. That’s why! And he thought since she was around during the bath she was supervising. There are a lot of amazing dads out there but this is not one of them. Stop blaming OP and calling her a troll.

He’s checked out if he perceives another adult around.