Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm...no. Why in the world would they be jealous? This is absurd.

Ha! I had one parent on my daughters hockey team ask me not to talk about her day at her private school because she was having too much fun in science. That science teacher was amazing! So yes there is jealousy and yes my child was not invited to many social events because the parents were anti private school. At least one parent was honest with me, he is a well to do plastic surgeon in the Chevy Chase area and told me private school tuition would put too much of a dent into his lifestyle. He quizzed me often, I think wanted it for his children, but ultimately chose not to push that button. His kids are doing fine and are wonderful people and the family is still good friends with ours. But yes, there is obvious jealousy towards some by some, human nature I guess.

he is a well to do plastic surgeon in the Chevy Chase area and told me private school tuition would put too much of a dent into his lifestyle.

This is way different from people who try their best for their kids but cannot afford it. I'm sorry, but this is just choosing your lifestyle and fun toys over your kids' education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

If you are wealthy why wouldn't you send your kids to private schools?

Is the money better spent on fancy German and Italian sports cars? If you have excess cash flow after savings, why not? I want to give my kids the best of everything. I still save and have a high net worth by even country club standards.

Because they're not better

Do you really think that some kid coming out of Landon is better prepared for college and life generally than next door Whitman? Or Walter Johnson? Or Churchill?

Do you think the families that send their kids to those schools don't value education? Or could afford private?

It's the difficult kids that are sent to private

Insecure are we. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder because you don't send your child to private school.

We considered private but the math curriculum was not as strong. A lot of my neighbors went to privates here growing up and we all did about the same. A smart kid will do fine most places. It’s best for kids who are struggling and need more support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm...no. Why in the world would they be jealous? This is absurd.

Ha! I had one parent on my daughters hockey team ask me not to talk about her day at her private school because she was having too much fun in science. That science teacher was amazing! So yes there is jealousy and yes my child was not invited to many social events because the parents were anti private school. At least one parent was honest with me, he is a well to do plastic surgeon in the Chevy Chase area and told me private school tuition would put too much of a dent into his lifestyle. He quizzed me often, I think wanted it for his children, but ultimately chose not to push that button. His kids are doing fine and are wonderful people and the family is still good friends with ours. But yes, there is obvious jealousy towards some by some, human nature I guess.

he is a well to do plastic surgeon in the Chevy Chase area and told me private school tuition would put too much of a dent into his lifestyle.

This is way different from people who try their best for their kids but cannot afford it. I'm sorry, but this is just choosing your lifestyle and fun toys over your kids' education.

This sounds fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

If you are wealthy why wouldn't you send your kids to private schools?

Is the money better spent on fancy German and Italian sports cars? If you have excess cash flow after savings, why not? I want to give my kids the best of everything. I still save and have a high net worth by even country club standards.

Because they're not better

Do you really think that some kid coming out of Landon is better prepared for college and life generally than next door Whitman? Or Walter Johnson? Or Churchill?

Do you think the families that send their kids to those schools don't value education? Or could afford private?

It's the difficult kids that are sent to private

Insecure are we. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder because you don't send your child to private school.

We considered private but the math curriculum was not as strong. A lot of my neighbors went to privates here growing up and we all did about the same. A smart kid will do fine most places. It’s best for kids who are struggling and need more support.

Couldn’t agree more!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm...no. Why in the world would they be jealous? This is absurd.

Ha! I had one parent on my daughters hockey team ask me not to talk about her day at her private school because she was having too much fun in science. That science teacher was amazing! So yes there is jealousy and yes my child was not invited to many social events because the parents were anti private school. At least one parent was honest with me, he is a well to do plastic surgeon in the Chevy Chase area and told me private school tuition would put too much of a dent into his lifestyle. He quizzed me often, I think wanted it for his children, but ultimately chose not to push that button. His kids are doing fine and are wonderful people and the family is still good friends with ours. But yes, there is obvious jealousy towards some by some, human nature I guess.

How much were you going on and on about this? That level of detail was probably just very uninteresting unless it was with someone who has kids in that same class or school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

If you are wealthy why wouldn't you send your kids to private schools?

Is the money better spent on fancy German and Italian sports cars? If you have excess cash flow after savings, why not? I want to give my kids the best of everything. I still save and have a high net worth by even country club standards.

Because they're not better

Do you really think that some kid coming out of Landon is better prepared for college and life generally than next door Whitman? Or Walter Johnson? Or Churchill?

Do you think the families that send their kids to those schools don't value education? Or could afford private?

It's the difficult kids that are sent to private

Insecure are we. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder because you don't send your child to private school.

We considered private but the math curriculum was not as strong. A lot of my neighbors went to privates here growing up and we all did about the same. A smart kid will do fine most places. It’s best for kids who are struggling and need more support.

It’s also best for economic elites who want their children to maintain their socioeconomic position.

[Anonymous]

OP, they don't want to have you as a friend. Find other friends.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure some people are jealous and would send their kids if they could. Others are happy with their schools and kids are thriving.

We have a seven figure income and live in a top public. We considered sending our kids to private but ultimately decided to stay in our local public. DH and I come from public and like that our schools are within two miles from our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

If you are wealthy why wouldn't you send your kids to private schools?

Is the money better spent on fancy German and Italian sports cars? If you have excess cash flow after savings, why not? I want to give my kids the best of everything. I still save and have a high net worth by even country club standards.

Because they're not better

Do you really think that some kid coming out of Landon is better prepared for college and life generally than next door Whitman? Or Walter Johnson? Or Churchill?

Do you think the families that send their kids to those schools don't value education? Or could afford private?

It's the difficult kids that are sent to private

Insecure are we. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder because you don't send your child to private school.

We considered private but the math curriculum was not as strong. A lot of my neighbors went to privates here growing up and we all did about the same. A smart kid will do fine most places. It’s best for kids who are struggling and need more support.

You can stay at a Four Season or a Holiday Inn. You'll sleep at both, but it will be much more pleasurable at the Four Seasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

Do your public school friends have a need to park there cars far away, so you can't see that they cost more than yours. Probably not, right? Then why should you have to worry about their insecurity about you choosing private school? You are placating their insecurity.

Usually the insecure one is the one who fears their kid(s) can’t hack it in the “big” public school so opt for the “small” private school and hand holding. Then they do the same for college, a small lib arts school.

[Anonymous]

Pp above. It is natural to be less vested if kids won’t be in the same school. You focus more on the kids in the same school. I saw this happen in preschool. The kids who were going to the same elementary (public or private) would gravitate towards one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

Do your public school friends have a need to park there cars far away, so you can't see that they cost more than yours. Probably not, right? Then why should you have to worry about their insecurity about you choosing private school? You are placating their insecurity.

Usually the insecure one is the one who fears their kid(s) can’t hack it in the “big” public school so opt for the “small” private school and hand holding. Then they do the same for college, a small lib arts school.

DP here. We were going to switch our kids out of public. Our public has so many smart talented students. Besides the Big 3, I don’t think the DMV privates do much better than the top publics in terms of college admissions. We have confidence in our kids and they really didn’t want to switch so we decided to keep them in public.

The ones we are switching are usually the kids who are not the top students. Yes, 1 or 2 may switch to STA or NCS but the rest are usually the wealthier ones who weren’t the top. Of course there are the private school students who always were in private. The ones who switch from public are the ones who often didn’t do well socially or academically. I’m not saying they were struggling but they weren’t the ones who were at the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

Do your public school friends have a need to park there cars far away, so you can't see that they cost more than yours. Probably not, right? Then why should you have to worry about their insecurity about you choosing private school? You are placating their insecurity.

Usually the insecure one is the one who fears their kid(s) can’t hack it in the “big” public school so opt for the “small” private school and hand holding. Then they do the same for college, a small lib arts school.

DP here. We were going to switch our kids out of public. Our public has so many smart talented students. Besides the Big 3, I don’t think the DMV privates do much better than the top publics in terms of college admissions. We have confidence in our kids and they really didn’t want to switch so we decided to keep them in public.

The ones we are switching are usually the kids who are not the top students. Yes, 1 or 2 may switch to STA or NCS but the rest are usually the wealthier ones who weren’t the top. Of course there are the private school students who always were in private. The ones who switch from public are the ones who often didn’t do well socially or academically. I’m not saying they were struggling but they weren’t the ones who were at the top.

Exactly this. We switched from private to public. Bigger cohort of students. MUCH better math and science. Not too many private school students doing multivariable calculus or AP physics. Just a better education. Better life experiences. More opportunities to pursue their passions. And also better college outcomes.

This, of course, depends on the school district, I'm sure there are smart, well-adjusted kids going to STA and NCS. But generally, if you're lower county Montgomery it really is kids with higher needs or families that are particularly precious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

Do your public school friends have a need to park there cars far away, so you can't see that they cost more than yours. Probably not, right? Then why should you have to worry about their insecurity about you choosing private school? You are placating their insecurity.

Usually the insecure one is the one who fears their kid(s) can’t hack it in the “big” public school so opt for the “small” private school and hand holding. Then they do the same for college, a small lib arts school.

DP here. We were going to switch our kids out of public. Our public has so many smart talented students. Besides the Big 3, I don’t think the DMV privates do much better than the top publics in terms of college admissions. We have confidence in our kids and they really didn’t want to switch so we decided to keep them in public.

The ones we are switching are usually the kids who are not the top students. Yes, 1 or 2 may switch to STA or NCS but the rest are usually the wealthier ones who weren’t the top. Of course there are the private school students who always were in private. The ones who switch from public are the ones who often didn’t do well socially or academically. I’m not saying they were struggling but they weren’t the ones who were at the top.

Exactly this. We switched from private to public. Bigger cohort of students. MUCH better math and science. Not too many private school students doing multivariable calculus or AP physics. Just a better education. Better life experiences. More opportunities to pursue their passions. And also better college outcomes.

This, of course, depends on the school district, I'm sure there are smart, well-adjusted kids going to STA and NCS. But generally, if you're lower county Montgomery it really is kids with higher needs or families that are particularly precious.

PP here. It really depends on where you live, how strong your local public is and what privates. DC is obvious that privates are better. In the suburbs, the privates aren’t necessarily better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

Do your public school friends have a need to park there cars far away, so you can't see that they cost more than yours. Probably not, right? Then why should you have to worry about their insecurity about you choosing private school? You are placating their insecurity.

Usually the insecure one is the one who fears their kid(s) can’t hack it in the “big” public school so opt for the “small” private school and hand holding. Then they do the same for college, a small lib arts school.

DP here. We were going to switch our kids out of public. Our public has so many smart talented students. Besides the Big 3, I don’t think the DMV privates do much better than the top publics in terms of college admissions. We have confidence in our kids and they really didn’t want to switch so we decided to keep them in public.

The ones we are switching are usually the kids who are not the top students. Yes, 1 or 2 may switch to STA or NCS but the rest are usually the wealthier ones who weren’t the top. Of course there are the private school students who always were in private. The ones who switch from public are the ones who often didn’t do well socially or academically. I’m not saying they were struggling but they weren’t the ones who were at the top.

Exactly this. We switched from private to public. Bigger cohort of students. MUCH better math and science. Not too many private school students doing multivariable calculus or AP physics. Just a better education. Better life experiences. More opportunities to pursue their passions. And also better college outcomes.

This, of course, depends on the school district, I'm sure there are smart, well-adjusted kids going to STA and NCS. But generally, if you're lower county Montgomery it really is kids with higher needs or families that are particularly precious.

PP here. It really depends on where you live, how strong your local public is and what privates. DC is obvious that privates are better. In the suburbs, the privates aren’t necessarily better.

What are you prattling on about? We are zoned for Whitman and we and about half our neighbors use private. None have special needs. It’s a mix of all the schools from woods academy to sidwell. People made - gasp - decisions that work for their family. And I think many find the math and science to be a-ok at the privates. I wouldn’t worry about them anymore. It’s fine. You need to chill about what people around you are doing.