I’m so unhappy with my baby in daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny so naturally biased on which is better. That said, I did my internship in college at a wonderful daycare center/preschool in the baby room. My co-workers loved those babies and they were well taken care of and learned a lot from the older babies. The babies did circle time every morning (so cute) and responded lovingly to the teachers. They also were outside for several hours during the day (Southern California) and had weekly music class. The school had two napping rooms and if a baby needed to be rocked to sleep, a teacher or aide would rock him.

No one should ever feel the least bit bad about sending their baby to a loving daycare.

I challenge anyone here to name a high quality loving daycare in the DMV area!

Seriously? They exist. I’m at an amazing home daycare. It’s small so I don’t want to put myself but we’ve had three children go through, soon to be four. We are so happy there, and I used to be a nanny so was initially turned off by daycares. They exist.

Agree on the in-home. We love ours and the social interaction our kiddo gets is fantastic. He is middle of the pack age wise and had learned how to be around babies AND how to play with older kids. Best decision we made.

We have the same situation with our nanny and the play groups she has formed. I know from the Covid isolation with our older child that kids really do need interaction with varied ages of other kids. And they need outdoor time!

[Anonymous]

Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny so naturally biased on which is better. That said, I did my internship in college at a wonderful daycare center/preschool in the baby room. My co-workers loved those babies and they were well taken care of and learned a lot from the older babies. The babies did circle time every morning (so cute) and responded lovingly to the teachers. They also were outside for several hours during the day (Southern California) and had weekly music class. The school had two napping rooms and if a baby needed to be rocked to sleep, a teacher or aide would rock him.

No one should ever feel the least bit bad about sending their baby to a loving daycare.

I challenge anyone here to name a high quality loving daycare in the DMV area!

Hi OP, I feel you. It’s common to feel sad, especially at first, when leaving your baby in care. There is no one right answer to your dilemma. Consider whether it’s hard for you to leave the baby with anyone else, any non-relative, or is your concern about this particular child care program? You could go and visit at the child care program for an hour or so, so you can observe the caregivers and how they interact, to confirm whether they do provide warm, responsive care.

When my kids were infants, they went to a family child care home. I found loving caregivers for each baby who only took in 2 babies, so it was kinda like a nanny share, but at the providers home.

It may be that the right answer for you is to stay home with your baby for a while. Or maybe you can become more comfortable with this child care arrangement. Good luck in figuring it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some babies can get diaper rash in like 5 min after having a BM. Especially if the room is warm or they are outside in the stroller.
Or maybe they only check them once every hour or so, and if there is no smell, the daycare workers usually would not know. It is part of being in a daycare. The daycares are very rough on the babies, unfortunately. I will never understand those parents who are just too lazy to look for nanny or nanny share. It is more expensive but for goodness sake, you only need to have it for a year or 2, at least until your baby is not a tiny little thing who needs feeding and nurturing all day long. And nanny share costs basically the same as a daycare, and it is so much better. And if you feel overwhelmed with all the search, you could find nanny share through the agency, it will still save you money in the long run. Daycares are miserable place for babies under 12 months. They even nap all in the same room, that is, if there is a separate room at all.

People don't do daycare because they are too lazy to look for nannies or can't afford nanny care. They do daycare because it works for their family and they like the daycare and that is the option they want. It takes more effort to find a daycare than it does to find a nanny, at least in DC- need to tour, get on waitlists, etc. Nannies you just interview and they come to you for the interview (I have done both nanny and daycare)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

[Anonymous]

No, finding a nanny a LOT more difficult. You get about 100 emails and have to choose your candidates, interview them, call the references and make sure they are verifiable, do all kinds of background checks, and then go through trial, etc. Plus making sure she is covid cautious. You do not interview teachers in a daycare. It is very, very time consuming and takes months. At the end of day, it is totally worth it but it can not be compared to touring a daycare or getting on the wait list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

+1. I am not a good SAHM, especially to a baby or toddler. I am happier when I work and my kid is happier with a working mom. I'm better with older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

+1. Thank you!! I see this all the time as a SAHM. Other SAHM who talk considering music class and story time; ignoring their kids in the park; yelling at their toddlers; treating babies like a sack of potatoes. Just terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, finding a nanny a LOT more difficult. You get about 100 emails and have to choose your candidates, interview them, call the references and make sure they are verifiable, do all kinds of background checks, and then go through trial, etc. Plus making sure she is covid cautious. You do not interview teachers in a daycare. It is very, very time consuming and takes months. At the end of day, it is totally worth it but it can not be compared to touring a daycare or getting on the wait list.

Not really. I went through the profiles on care.com and chose three candidates. Interviewed two and chose one who’s been with us for nearly four years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

+1. Thank you!! I see this all the time as a SAHM. Other SAHM who talk considering music class and story time; ignoring their kids in the park; yelling at their toddlers; treating babies like a sack of potatoes. Just terrible.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

In general it's better for the baby IF the mother (or father) wants to stay home with the baby. I'm sure some turn out to be not very good at it, but if that's what the parent/s want it usually turns out just fine. I can't imagine deciding to put my baby in daycare just because someone on DCUM says they've seen SAHMs who aren't very good at it. How about if I said I've seen WOHMs who aren't very good at their jobs so they really ought to be home taking care of their babies? Pretty ridiculous, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

In general it's better for the baby IF the mother (or father) wants to stay home with the baby. I'm sure some turn out to be not very good at it, but if that's what the parent/s want it usually turns out just fine. I can't imagine deciding to put my baby in daycare just because someone on DCUM says they've seen SAHMs who aren't very good at it. How about if I said I've seen WOHMs who aren't very good at their jobs so they really ought to be home taking care of their babies? Pretty ridiculous, eh?

Not ridiculous at all. There are a lot of WOHMs who aren’t good at parenting. But here’s the difference: nanny care and daycare have people who actually are great with kids. SAHM rarely have experience or education geared toward raising and teaching children. They have no clue what is involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stay at home, better for baby anyways.

Honestly, it isn’t always better for the baby. I see crappy SAHMs all the time.

+1. Thank you!! I see this all the time as a SAHM. Other SAHM who talk considering music class and story time; ignoring their kids in the park; yelling at their toddlers; treating babies like a sack of potatoes. Just terrible.

+2.

[Anonymous]

Anyone can create profile on care.com, with a nice picture, as long as they pay the membership. It does not mean they are qualified to work as a nanny. Also, most nannies get jobs via word of mouth. They do not need Care.com. I mean, it is an OK website to find a babysitter for your older, school age kid, but I would never use it to look for nanny for a 3 month old. I do not think you can run more than a basic background check at Care.com.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny so naturally biased on which is better. That said, I did my internship in college at a wonderful daycare center/preschool in the baby room. My co-workers loved those babies and they were well taken care of and learned a lot from the older babies. The babies did circle time every morning (so cute) and responded lovingly to the teachers. They also were outside for several hours during the day (Southern California) and had weekly music class. The school had two napping rooms and if a baby needed to be rocked to sleep, a teacher or aide would rock him.

No one should ever feel the least bit bad about sending their baby to a loving daycare.

I challenge anyone here to name a high quality loving daycare in the DMV area!

There are several. Have you been to every single daycare in this area?