I’m so unhappy with my baby in daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some babies can get diaper rash in like 5 min after having a BM. Especially if the room is warm or they are outside in the stroller.
Or maybe they only check them once every hour or so, and if there is no smell, the daycare workers usually would not know. It is part of being in a daycare. The daycares are very rough on the babies, unfortunately. I will never understand those parents who are just too lazy to look for nanny or nanny share. It is more expensive but for goodness sake, you only need to have it for a year or 2, at least until your baby is not a tiny little thing who needs feeding and nurturing all day long. And nanny share costs basically the same as a daycare, and it is so much better. And if you feel overwhelmed with all the search, you could find nanny share through the agency, it will still save you money in the long run. Daycares are miserable place for babies under 12 months. They even nap all in the same room, that is, if there is a separate room at all.

People don't do daycare because they are too lazy to look for nannies or can't afford nanny care. They do daycare because it works for their family and they like the daycare and that is the option they want. It takes more effort to find a daycare than it does to find a nanny, at least in DC- need to tour, get on waitlists, etc. Nannies you just interview and they come to you for the interview (I have done both nanny and daycare)

which did you prefer?

A good Nanny by a mile. But a good daycare over a mediocre nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don't like how people are suggesting that this mother has an anxiety disorder because she doesn't like leaving her baby in daycare all day long. We are mammals; mammal mothers/breastfeeding are physiologically tied to their babies. I think we forget that separating infants from their primary caregiver for the majority of their waking hours is inherently distressing for many babies and mothers. I am not opposed to daycare--my kids started shortly after they were one, but with limited hours, and m=by age two were there all day. The breastfeeding and bonding hormones are real. OP, I'm happy you're following your gut and going with a nanny.

+ 1. Very good points.

+ 2. Babies should not be separated from their families all day long. Since they can’t understand that mommy and daddy are coming back, they are actually traumatized left with complete strangers in a strange place.

My background in anthropology leads me to this conclusion as well. I've been a SAHM for 7 years and we're struggling financially. I wish there were better options for working parents. Our modern society is so backwards in the regard.

? Parents throughout human history had to leave their kids to hunt, gather, work, etc until their children could join them.

You don’t have an anthropological leg to stand on with this!

Actually, the kids were looked after in large family units by family members - grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins, mom, dad etc. They were not looked after by strangers making minimum wages.

No, the kids were looked after by other members of the tribe. Few grandparents in the early centuries due to short life expectancy. And no one made even minimum wage - just shared food and generally the worst of the hunt.

At three and four, the children worked with their parents to find food and migrate to water. Do you really think that was better than a safe home with a nanny or a clean daycare room with other kids?

Nope. I think that kids in daycare are better off than the Neanderthal babies and have better life expectancy than even 100 years ago.

However, in the DMV, in the present day, kids raised at UMC homes by educated SAHMs are better off, and most of DCUM SAHMs are financially secure and college educated.

I also think that kids in daycare and with nannies are better than kids in Ukraine and in Afghanistan. Absolutely. So I guess your kid is a winner?

Calm down, PP. No one is attacking you. But like other posters have tried to explain to you, we feel great about having loving, educated Nannie’s teach our babies during the day. My degree is in finance while our nanny’s degree, from a better college than DH or I attended, is in ECD. I worked in banks after graduation while our nanny worked in a preschool before becoming a nanny. This is my first child while nanny has been through this stage with four other children plus her own now grown kids. My feeling, like others, is that a nanny is better for my child than me being home during the day.

But know that you don’t have to try to attack WOHMs to make yourself feel better about your choices.

Not only no one cares who raises your kids, but also no one wants to be in your shoes either. I know it is hard for you to believe that.

I think you do want to be in my shoes, PP. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so defensive and lashing out. Something is clearly not right in your life and I know you know it. That’s the last thing I’m going to say to you, PP. You seem to need desperately to have the last word so have at it.

Nope. Did not have a kid to hand it to someone to raise. Actually like my kids, you know?

Maybe you should? You don’t sound very nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like how people are suggesting that this mother has an anxiety disorder because she doesn't like leaving her baby in daycare all day long. We are mammals; mammal mothers/breastfeeding are physiologically tied to their babies. I think we forget that separating infants from their primary caregiver for the majority of their waking hours is inherently distressing for many babies and mothers. I am not opposed to daycare--my kids started shortly after they were one, but with limited hours, and m=by age two were there all day. The breastfeeding and bonding hormones are real. OP, I'm happy you're following your gut and going with a nanny.

+ 1. Very good points.

+ 2. Babies should not be separated from their families all day long. Since they can’t understand that mommy and daddy are coming back, they are actually traumatized left with complete strangers in a strange place.

My background in anthropology leads me to this conclusion as well. I've been a SAHM for 7 years and we're struggling financially. I wish there were better options for working parents. Our modern society is so backwards in the regard.

? Parents throughout human history had to leave their kids to hunt, gather, work, etc until their children could join them.

You don’t have an anthropological leg to stand on with this!

Actually, the kids were looked after in large family units by family members - grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins, mom, dad etc. They were not looked after by strangers making minimum wages.

No, the kids were looked after by other members of the tribe. Few grandparents in the early centuries due to short life expectancy. And no one made even minimum wage - just shared food and generally the worst of the hunt.

At three and four, the children worked with their parents to find food and migrate to water. Do you really think that was better than a safe home with a nanny or a clean daycare room with other kids?

Nope. I think that kids in daycare are better off than the Neanderthal babies and have better life expectancy than even 100 years ago.

However, in the DMV, in the present day, kids raised at UMC homes by educated SAHMs are better off, and most of DCUM SAHMs are financially secure and college educated.

I also think that kids in daycare and with nannies are better than kids in Ukraine and in Afghanistan. Absolutely. So I guess your kid is a winner?

Calm down, PP. No one is attacking you. But like other posters have tried to explain to you, we feel great about having loving, educated Nannie’s teach our babies during the day. My degree is in finance while our nanny’s degree, from a better college than DH or I attended, is in ECD. I worked in banks after graduation while our nanny worked in a preschool before becoming a nanny. This is my first child while nanny has been through this stage with four other children plus her own now grown kids. My feeling, like others, is that a nanny is better for my child than me being home during the day.

But know that you don’t have to try to attack WOHMs to make yourself feel better about your choices.

Not only no one cares who raises your kids, but also no one wants to be in your shoes either. I know it is hard for you to believe that.

I think you do want to be in my shoes, PP. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so defensive and lashing out. Something is clearly not right in your life and I know you know it. That’s the last thing I’m going to say to you, PP. You seem to need desperately to have the last word so have at it.

Nope. Did not have a kid to hand it to someone to raise. Actually like my kids, you know?

Maybe you should? You don’t sound very nice.

NP Suggesting on DCUM that someone who wants to raise their own child ought to let someone else raise it because they don't "sound very nice" is indefensible proof that the PP is also not "very nice" to put it mildly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like how people are suggesting that this mother has an anxiety disorder because she doesn't like leaving her baby in daycare all day long. We are mammals; mammal mothers/breastfeeding are physiologically tied to their babies. I think we forget that separating infants from their primary caregiver for the majority of their waking hours is inherently distressing for many babies and mothers. I am not opposed to daycare--my kids started shortly after they were one, but with limited hours, and m=by age two were there all day. The breastfeeding and bonding hormones are real. OP, I'm happy you're following your gut and going with a nanny.

+ 1. Very good points.

+ 2. Babies should not be separated from their families all day long. Since they can’t understand that mommy and daddy are coming back, they are actually traumatized left with complete strangers in a strange place.

My background in anthropology leads me to this conclusion as well. I've been a SAHM for 7 years and we're struggling financially. I wish there were better options for working parents. Our modern society is so backwards in the regard.

? Parents throughout human history had to leave their kids to hunt, gather, work, etc until their children could join them.

You don’t have an anthropological leg to stand on with this!

Actually, the kids were looked after in large family units by family members - grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins, mom, dad etc. They were not looked after by strangers making minimum wages.

No, the kids were looked after by other members of the tribe. Few grandparents in the early centuries due to short life expectancy. And no one made even minimum wage - just shared food and generally the worst of the hunt.

At three and four, the children worked with their parents to find food and migrate to water. Do you really think that was better than a safe home with a nanny or a clean daycare room with other kids?

Nope. I think that kids in daycare are better off than the Neanderthal babies and have better life expectancy than even 100 years ago.

However, in the DMV, in the present day, kids raised at UMC homes by educated SAHMs are better off, and most of DCUM SAHMs are financially secure and college educated.

I also think that kids in daycare and with nannies are better than kids in Ukraine and in Afghanistan. Absolutely. So I guess your kid is a winner?

Calm down, PP. No one is attacking you. But like other posters have tried to explain to you, we feel great about having loving, educated Nannie’s teach our babies during the day. My degree is in finance while our nanny’s degree, from a better college than DH or I attended, is in ECD. I worked in banks after graduation while our nanny worked in a preschool before becoming a nanny. This is my first child while nanny has been through this stage with four other children plus her own now grown kids. My feeling, like others, is that a nanny is better for my child than me being home during the day.

But know that you don’t have to try to attack WOHMs to make yourself feel better about your choices.

Not only no one cares who raises your kids, but also no one wants to be in your shoes either. I know it is hard for you to believe that.

I think you do want to be in my shoes, PP. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so defensive and lashing out. Something is clearly not right in your life and I know you know it. That’s the last thing I’m going to say to you, PP. You seem to need desperately to have the last word so have at it.

Nope. Did not have a kid to hand it to someone to raise. Actually like my kids, you know?

Maybe you should? You don’t sound very nice.

NP Suggesting on DCUM that someone who wants to raise their own child ought to let someone else raise it because they don't "sound very nice" is indefensible proof that the PP is also not "very nice" to put it mildly.

Parents who use daycares and/or nannies are also raising their own children, so no, that PP can pound sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like how people are suggesting that this mother has an anxiety disorder because she doesn't like leaving her baby in daycare all day long. We are mammals; mammal mothers/breastfeeding are physiologically tied to their babies. I think we forget that separating infants from their primary caregiver for the majority of their waking hours is inherently distressing for many babies and mothers. I am not opposed to daycare--my kids started shortly after they were one, but with limited hours, and m=by age two were there all day. The breastfeeding and bonding hormones are real. OP, I'm happy you're following your gut and going with a nanny.

+ 1. Very good points.

+ 2. Babies should not be separated from their families all day long. Since they can’t understand that mommy and daddy are coming back, they are actually traumatized left with complete strangers in a strange place.

My background in anthropology leads me to this conclusion as well. I've been a SAHM for 7 years and we're struggling financially. I wish there were better options for working parents. Our modern society is so backwards in the regard.

? Parents throughout human history had to leave their kids to hunt, gather, work, etc until their children could join them.

You don’t have an anthropological leg to stand on with this!

Actually, the kids were looked after in large family units by family members - grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins, mom, dad etc. They were not looked after by strangers making minimum wages.

No, the kids were looked after by other members of the tribe. Few grandparents in the early centuries due to short life expectancy. And no one made even minimum wage - just shared food and generally the worst of the hunt.

At three and four, the children worked with their parents to find food and migrate to water. Do you really think that was better than a safe home with a nanny or a clean daycare room with other kids?

Nope. I think that kids in daycare are better off than the Neanderthal babies and have better life expectancy than even 100 years ago.

However, in the DMV, in the present day, kids raised at UMC homes by educated SAHMs are better off, and most of DCUM SAHMs are financially secure and college educated.

I also think that kids in daycare and with nannies are better than kids in Ukraine and in Afghanistan. Absolutely. So I guess your kid is a winner?

Calm down, PP. No one is attacking you. But like other posters have tried to explain to you, we feel great about having loving, educated Nannie’s teach our babies during the day. My degree is in finance while our nanny’s degree, from a better college than DH or I attended, is in ECD. I worked in banks after graduation while our nanny worked in a preschool before becoming a nanny. This is my first child while nanny has been through this stage with four other children plus her own now grown kids. My feeling, like others, is that a nanny is better for my child than me being home during the day.

But know that you don’t have to try to attack WOHMs to make yourself feel better about your choices.

Not only no one cares who raises your kids, but also no one wants to be in your shoes either. I know it is hard for you to believe that.

I think you do want to be in my shoes, PP. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so defensive and lashing out. Something is clearly not right in your life and I know you know it. That’s the last thing I’m going to say to you, PP. You seem to need desperately to have the last word so have at it.

Nope. Did not have a kid to hand it to someone to raise. Actually like my kids, you know?

Maybe you should? You don’t sound very nice.

NP Suggesting on DCUM that someone who wants to raise their own child ought to let someone else raise it because they don't "sound very nice" is indefensible proof that the PP is also not "very nice" to put it mildly.

Parents who use daycares and/or nannies are also raising their own children, so no, that PP can pound sand.

+1

[Anonymous]

The funny thing is that all these parents of babies and toddlers are so convinced they’ve figured it out (whether SAHM, daycare, nanny, grandparents, whatever) and the worst of them are super judgmental and nasty and then all of a sudden you have twenty-year-olds and the genius kid who learned English by watching Avatar the Last Airbender reruns and who went to the home daycare down the street is going to MIT while the judgmental parents are quietly sulking because as it turns out whatever method of childcare they used that they convinced themselves made the better parents than anyone else was actually irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing is that all these parents of babies and toddlers are so convinced they’ve figured it out (whether SAHM, daycare, nanny, grandparents, whatever) and the worst of them are super judgmental and nasty and then all of a sudden you have twenty-year-olds and the genius kid who learned English by watching Avatar the Last Airbender reruns and who went to the home daycare down the street is going to MIT while the judgmental parents are quietly sulking because as it turns out whatever method of childcare they used that they convinced themselves made the better parents than anyone else was actually irrelevant.

That's an interesting perspective but I think even you know that it definitely matters who takes care of and raises a child and what type of care they get, especially in the first few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing is that all these parents of babies and toddlers are so convinced they’ve figured it out (whether SAHM, daycare, nanny, grandparents, whatever) and the worst of them are super judgmental and nasty and then all of a sudden you have twenty-year-olds and the genius kid who learned English by watching Avatar the Last Airbender reruns and who went to the home daycare down the street is going to MIT while the judgmental parents are quietly sulking because as it turns out whatever method of childcare they used that they convinced themselves made the better parents than anyone else was actually irrelevant.

I agree with you regarding the judgment being ridiculous (do what works for your family) but I also didn’t make my childcare decisions based on whether it was going to get my kid into a good college. If one day my kid is attending community college and anyone is like “see, your decision to SAHM fir a couple years didn’t matter at all!” that person will have totally missed the point and I’ll feel pretty sorry for them.