Girl's School and Gender Pronouns

[Anonymous]

There’s an internalized belief that girls/women have no value. That belief is internalized and mistakenly believed by those very people entrusted to build up young women not destroy their very selfhood.

We support our girls. We expect you to do the same.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A previous poster wrote in the middle of her post:

“What admin and faculty at girls' schools are careful not to do when addressing the entire student body is refer to them all as girls.”

Why is it that at boys’ schools they can address their students as boys or young men but you can’t address students as girls or young women at a girls’ school. Why do girls always have to be the ones to capitulate? Why do the girls who want to attend a girls only school have to attend a girls plus all inclusive school while boys get to attend a boys only school?

This is my concern. This isn’t happening at the boys schools. It seems to be something with a deep current of misogyny underlying it.

Or maybe it's because boys' schools tend to be more conservative and its student body less accepting of gender-questioning, trans, nonbinary, or gay students?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few nuggets:

- The comment about learning disabilities might have been obnoxious, but there is actually something to this: Gender variance is higher among people with ASD and ADHD (google to find the studies, I'm too lazy sorry.) It makes sense, of course: If gender is a social construction, and people with Autism may find social communication challenging or do it different. Meanwhile, people with ADHD tend to "think outside the box." So people whose neurology diverges from the norm are increasingly constructing gender in divergent ways.

- This is a mass rebellion. Our girls are in open revolt, like it or not.

Am I the only one who read Judith Butler in college in the 90s? Butler figured gender as "performative." Nowadays, people say "performative" when they mean "mere performance, not real." But Butler meant it in the linguistic sense. An example of performative speech is "I now pronounce you man and wife." The pronouncement has the effect of shaping reality. Gender -- that is, the way in which we culturally communicate about biological sex -- functions the same way, Butler argued: Gender is real to the extent that it is performed -- and only to the extent that it is performed.

Whatever. The point is, the girls are basically screaming at us that they will not be compelled to perform "girlness" for us anymore. They are refusing, they are rebelling. Why? They don't even know themselves. But it feels viscerally wrong to them. That strikes me as deeply significant and worth paying attention to, without pre-judgement.

- That said, just because they zig doesn't mean we zag. I don't conflate listening to them with letting them call the shots. We can be loving and supportive and also conservative and careful. For example, my support for my child's gender creativity and exploration extends only to explorations that are noninvasive and nonmedical -- and that are about what THEY will do and not do (and not, for example, some sort of laundry list of demands for what others should do, say, perform.)

- I described this thread to my nonbinary 13-year-old. They said, "Well, if you don't like being called a girl and don't identify as one... then maybe a girl's school might not be the best place for you?" lol. Good point, weirdo!

Anyway. I am a public school parent and just happened across this thread, but I agree with those who say this is not going away overnight. If I were a Holton parent, I would suggest trying to judo this instead of fighting it head on. Be smart, compassionate, wise. And trust your children: They might be ridiculous but they are earnest. Their intuitions are correct. They're just getting the details wrong.

Really thoughtful post. Thank you.

The PP asks Why.
Same reason people go goth, emo, grunge, piercings everywhere, and/or tons of tattoos. They want attention, they want to find something to bite into, and dressing “differently” is a quick way to ID others searching for the same and only hang out with them. And just write off everyone else and play the victim. It inclusive or openminded mindset stall, plus fun to “keep people guessing” and the attention!

[Anonymous]

Secondly, you mention ASD/ADHD and gender issues. Yet you take the comorbidities as a common fact. The only common fact is these types can’t pick up social cues, often have poor executive functioning skills, poor verbal communication, and only focus on their hyper focuses. Plus often get anxiety and depressed .
Therefore they are HIGHLY susceptible to any internet or new age health class chatter about “feeling left out” and how “changing your fluid gender might be the way to fit in”. So they try it out. And the group of trans welcome them and they feel like they hit the jackpot for a bit.

But their underlying disorder(s), anxiety and depression resurface yet they are now going a different life route entirely thanks to gender dysphoria, trying to fit in, self diagnosing, and Affirmative Therapy therapists.

[Anonymous]

Historically girls schools or historically womens colleges

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A welcoming environment is fine but to stop referring to girls as girls is insane and employing drugs to suppress puberty is equally so.

Only women give birth.

You’d think, but I just read an article the other day about how we should stop saying “breast feeding” and start saying “chest feeding” because men have babies now too. And an article about a man troubled because his 11 y/o (I think) was uncomfortable about his friends learning that one of his dads was pregnant (despite the fact that said son knows “many” men who have had babies.

https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/breastfeeding/chestfeeding-faq/

[Anonymous]

as a feminist and mom. I am concerned that young women/girls today, can't embrace their gender and identity without feeling "less than"-- we didn't fight these battles for them to fade into some "they/them" back ground or for trans women to say they "always felt like a woman" --no you didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately little of what you just wrote is true.

Humans are born male or female. Saying you’re male doesn’t transform your ovaries into testicles. One can “identify” as any number of things but that doesn’t mean you’re actually that thing.

Homosexuality shouldn’t be confused with gender identity. They are two separate things. Cisgender is a term that’s employed to rationalize the irrational. I don’t care how you identify that up to you, but to force feed contemporary psychobabble onto young girls by their teachers is nothing short of brainwashing them. Tell they to accept everyone at face value nothing more nothing less.

I guess you’ll tell us that employing drugs to suppress puberty is a rational act?

+1 the world has gone crazy.

+1 only the upper class western world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately little of what you just wrote is true.

Humans are born male or female. Saying you’re male doesn’t transform your ovaries into testicles. One can “identify” as any number of things but that doesn’t mean you’re actually that thing.

Homosexuality shouldn’t be confused with gender identity. They are two separate things. Cisgender is a term that’s employed to rationalize the irrational. I don’t care how you identify that up to you, but to force feed contemporary psychobabble onto young girls by their teachers is nothing short of brainwashing them. Tell they to accept everyone at face value nothing more nothing less.

I guess you’ll tell us that employing drugs to suppress puberty is a rational act?

Most major professional associations of medical and mental health professionals uniequivocally support creating welcoming environments for trans-identified or nonbinary-idenitfied adolescents, especially in schools. Just search for the pro-trans platforms expressed by the American Psychological Assocation, the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Academy of Pediatrics, just to name a few.

I certainly hope you didn't slip down that slippery slope in your last sentence.

And how many fertility lawsuits are finally getting filed by trans women turned men turned women who want children now? Because a leftist doctor allowed a 10 yo to claim trans, bind, puberty block a year later and take T thereafter?

Tip if the iceberg in this malpractice.

What other disorder can you self diagnos and have the real doctor simply affirm what we script you say? (And get off the internet)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the way, the answer with regard to puberty blockers is, there are too many unknowns re: risks/benefits, and children lack capacity to weigh even known risks/benefits. But we know the potential risks can be high enough all around. So clinicians and parents much take a very deliberate, exploratory, compassionate, thorough approach.

All of which is very different from saying "they" instead of "she."

But but but.. you must do what the adolescent says! Or or or… suicide. You must do what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A previous poster wrote in the middle of her post:

“What admin and faculty at girls' schools are careful not to do when addressing the entire student body is refer to them all as girls.”

Why is it that at boys’ schools they can address their students as boys or young men but you can’t address students as girls or young women at a girls’ school. Why do girls always have to be the ones to capitulate? Why do the girls who want to attend a girls only school have to attend a girls plus all inclusive school while boys get to attend a boys only school?

This is my concern. This isn’t happening at the boys schools. It seems to be something with a deep current of misogyny underlying it.

The activists are definitely running the narrative online and with the “progressive” schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A previous poster wrote in the middle of her post:

“What admin and faculty at girls' schools are careful not to do when addressing the entire student body is refer to them all as girls.”

Why is it that at boys’ schools they can address their students as boys or young men but you can’t address students as girls or young women at a girls’ school. Why do girls always have to be the ones to capitulate? Why do the girls who want to attend a girls only school have to attend a girls plus all inclusive school while boys get to attend a boys only school?

This is my concern. This isn’t happening at the boys schools. It seems to be something with a deep current of misogyny underlying it.

Or maybe it's because boys' schools tend to be more conservative and its student body less accepting of gender-questioning, trans, nonbinary, or gay students?

Maybe they’re too busy with their academic studies, sports, music, friends, and family to spend 20, 50, 75, 90% of their time opining on maybe their gender is the reason they had a bad day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as a feminist and mom. I am concerned that young women/girls today, can't embrace their gender and identity without feeling "less than"-- we didn't fight these battles for them to fade into some "they/them" back ground or for trans women to say they "always felt like a woman" --no you didn't.

+ a million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately little of what you just wrote is true.

Humans are born male or female. Saying you’re male doesn’t transform your ovaries into testicles. One can “identify” as any number of things but that doesn’t mean you’re actually that thing.

Homosexuality shouldn’t be confused with gender identity. They are two separate things. Cisgender is a term that’s employed to rationalize the irrational. I don’t care how you identify that up to you, but to force feed contemporary psychobabble onto young girls by their teachers is nothing short of brainwashing them. Tell they to accept everyone at face value nothing more nothing less.

I guess you’ll tell us that employing drugs to suppress puberty is a rational act?

Most major professional associations of medical and mental health professionals uniequivocally support creating welcoming environments for trans-identified or nonbinary-idenitfied adolescents, especially in schools. Just search for the pro-trans platforms expressed by the American Psychological Assocation, the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Academy of Pediatrics, just to name a few.

I certainly hope you didn't slip down that slippery slope in your last sentence.

Institutional capture is real and it’s happened. Look at the ACLU. Suing people to stop FOIA requests because they don’t want data on transwomen in prisons exposed. The founders must be rolling in their graves. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/aclu-sues-private-citizen-to-suppress-public-records-request-in-washington-state-301268835.html