Reply to Girl's School and Gender Pronouns

Forum Index » Private & Independent Schools

Reply to "Girl's School and Gender Pronouns"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few nuggets:

- The comment about learning disabilities might have been obnoxious, but there is actually something to this: Gender variance is higher among people with ASD and ADHD (google to find the studies, I'm too lazy sorry.) It makes sense, of course: If gender is a social construction, and people with Autism may find social communication challenging or do it different. Meanwhile, people with ADHD tend to "think outside the box." So people whose neurology diverges from the norm are increasingly constructing gender in divergent ways.

- This is a mass rebellion. Our girls are in open revolt, like it or not.

Am I the only one who read Judith Butler in college in the 90s? Butler figured gender as "performative." Nowadays, people say "performative" when they mean "mere performance, not real." But Butler meant it in the linguistic sense. An example of performative speech is "I now pronounce you man and wife." The pronouncement has the effect of shaping reality. Gender -- that is, the way in which we culturally communicate about biological sex -- functions the same way, Butler argued: Gender is real to the extent that it is performed -- and only to the extent that it is performed.

Whatever. The point is, the girls are basically screaming at us that they will not be compelled to perform "girlness" for us anymore. They are refusing, they are rebelling. Why? They don't even know themselves. But it feels viscerally wrong to them. That strikes me as deeply significant and worth paying attention to, without pre-judgement.

- That said, just because they zig doesn't mean we zag. I don't conflate listening to them with letting them call the shots. We can be loving and supportive and also conservative and careful. For example, my support for my child's gender creativity and exploration extends only to explorations that are noninvasive and nonmedical -- and that are about what THEY will do and not do (and not, for example, some sort of laundry list of demands for what others should do, say, perform.)

- I described this thread to my nonbinary 13-year-old. They said, "Well, if you don't like being called a girl and don't identify as one... then maybe a girl's school might not be the best place for you?" lol. Good point, weirdo!

Anyway. I am a public school parent and just happened across this thread, but I agree with those who say this is not going away overnight. If I were a Holton parent, I would suggest trying to judo this instead of fighting it head on. Be smart, compassionate, wise. And trust your children: They might be ridiculous but they are earnest. Their intuitions are correct. They're just getting the details wrong. [/quote]

Really thoughtful post. Thank you.[/quote]

The PP asks Why.
Same reason people go goth, emo, grunge, piercings everywhere, and/or tons of tattoos.  They want attention, they want to find something to bite into, and dressing “differently” is a quick way to ID others searching for the same and only hang out with them. And just write off everyone else and play the victim.  It inclusive or openminded mindset stall, plus fun to “keep people guessing” and the attention! 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics