Location sharing with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of suspect reasons NOT to share. A controlling spouse you are hiding from, some kind of unhealthy boundary issues in your relationship you haven't addressed, laziness, doing things you shouldn't be doing or aren't willing to share.

And at its very core, it's a safety issue.

Honestly, if you have children, especially kids who are driving age, and you don't have "find my" or life 360 with your whole family, why not?

Somehow, dozens if not hundreds of generations survived without "Life 360." God, it even sounds like some dystopian invention.

We also managed without smart phones, tablets, computers, the internet, and anonymous mommy blogs. Yet, here we all are.

Would you like me to remind you of the things that were perfectly normal for hundreds of generations that are illegal, verboten, etc today? It goes both ways of course.

No one has said tracking should be illegal or "verboten" for god's sake. Just that many of us feel it's unnecessary and intrusive. But I also don't have Facebook or Instagram, so blazoning my location and doings isn't my jam.

I guess where I get stuck is….the tech companies are tracking you. You don’t have to be using FB or Instagram to be tracked. Apple knows where you are. And for some reason…it sounds like some of you find it intrusive for your spouse to also know? I mean, I get it on principle and if I lived in 1990 I’d probably be horrified. But if some random engineer at Apple knows where I am…my partner might as well know.

I just fundamentally disagree.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't currently, nor does my husband with me. But if that was his reaction? I'd be going through is phone TODAY. That response is suspicious AF.

Op here. I did, didn’t find anything.

How do you go through someone's phone? I don't have my husband's password nor he mine.

Of course I have my H's password and he has mine, why wouldn't he. How would he unlock it when he is using it.

For privacy?

Having someone's password doesn't mean you're violating their privacy. It's not hard.

But it does mean they could. I prefer to take that option off the table.

So you would rather be married to someone that you don't trust enough to share your password with than the reverse? Interesting. I'd rather be married to someone I trust enough to share my password with because I know they'd never use it to violate my privacy. But you do what you need to in order to protect yourself I guess.

I trust him and he trusts me. It's why there's no need to share passwords.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of suspect reasons NOT to share. A controlling spouse you are hiding from, some kind of unhealthy boundary issues in your relationship you haven't addressed, laziness, doing things you shouldn't be doing or aren't willing to share.

And at its very core, it's a safety issue.

Honestly, if you have children, especially kids who are driving age, and you don't have "find my" or life 360 with your whole family, why not?

Somehow, dozens if not hundreds of generations survived without "Life 360." God, it even sounds like some dystopian invention.

We also managed without smart phones, tablets, computers, the internet, and anonymous mommy blogs. Yet, here we all are.

Would you like me to remind you of the things that were perfectly normal for hundreds of generations that are illegal, verboten, etc today? It goes both ways of course.

No one has said tracking should be illegal or "verboten" for god's sake. Just that many of us feel it's unnecessary and intrusive. But I also don't have Facebook or Instagram, so blazoning my location and doings isn't my jam.

You missed the point entirely. For hundreds of generations we lived in ways that are completely unacceptable today. We have advancements today that we would never want to live without.

In my experience, People who rely on what happened for hundreds of generations as a reason something should or shouldn’t happen in 2026 have shockingly poor judgment.

Sure, but surveillance isn't one of them, to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of suspect reasons NOT to share. A controlling spouse you are hiding from, some kind of unhealthy boundary issues in your relationship you haven't addressed, laziness, doing things you shouldn't be doing or aren't willing to share.

And at its very core, it's a safety issue.

Honestly, if you have children, especially kids who are driving age, and you don't have "find my" or life 360 with your whole family, why not?

Somehow, dozens if not hundreds of generations survived without "Life 360." God, it even sounds like some dystopian invention.

I honestly just don't understand how you can twist it so negatively.

For people with normal healthy boundaries and relationships, "find my iPhone" is not abusive. Or dystopian! They are helpful from a safety and convenience perspective.

For you to go there says more about you than it does about the software.

I disagree, I think it says more about how much of ourselves we've sacrificed to tech companies in the name of "convenience" and "safety."

[Anonymous]

My DH and I don’t share locations. My kids have my location, and if I go missing, he can ask them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we grew up in a different era. We lived in a pretty rural place. We aren't high tech people.

Even now in their 70s, my mom might say - hey I am going out for a bit and my dad just yells back - okay!. And while she is out he might run an errand to the store. Neither of them knows exactly where the other is, nor do they care.

I am really glad I grew up when I did before all the anxiety that exists now over communication and locations. I didn't carry it over into my adult life or my kids. My kids are older now - young adults out on their own. There is no panic for me as I have never known their exact locations at any given time.

I also grew up in a rural area. In the 1990s, my mom was in a severe car accident on her way home from work, and we didn't know where she was for several hours. Finally, a local police officer came to our house to report the accident and help get us to the shock trauma center. (she survived!).

I am not an anxious person, but I do share locations with my family.

I'm not here to convince anyone that sharing is the best option for everyone. I'm pointing out that we all have different experiences, which means we all have have formed different opinions on how to communicate with loved ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of suspect reasons NOT to share. A controlling spouse you are hiding from, some kind of unhealthy boundary issues in your relationship you haven't addressed, laziness, doing things you shouldn't be doing or aren't willing to share.

And at its very core, it's a safety issue.

Honestly, if you have children, especially kids who are driving age, and you don't have "find my" or life 360 with your whole family, why not?

Somehow, dozens if not hundreds of generations survived without "Life 360." God, it even sounds like some dystopian invention.

A gazillion generations survived without glasses and shoes too. Sometimes tools are useful. If you don't think this one is, then that's fine. But your "generations survived without" argument is silly.

Just because somethings are better than before, it doesn't need to mean that every single thing is better than before. Not everyone believes that every aspect of life and technology now is the best it is has ever been.

Dude- the technology phobe is one who brought up that we survived without it. Turns out, you can agree that’s a stupid argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of suspect reasons NOT to share. A controlling spouse you are hiding from, some kind of unhealthy boundary issues in your relationship you haven't addressed, laziness, doing things you shouldn't be doing or aren't willing to share.

And at its very core, it's a safety issue.

Honestly, if you have children, especially kids who are driving age, and you don't have "find my" or life 360 with your whole family, why not?

Somehow, dozens if not hundreds of generations survived without "Life 360." God, it even sounds like some dystopian invention.

We also managed without smart phones, tablets, computers, the internet, and anonymous mommy blogs. Yet, here we all are.

Would you like me to remind you of the things that were perfectly normal for hundreds of generations that are illegal, verboten, etc today? It goes both ways of course.

No one has said tracking should be illegal or "verboten" for god's sake. Just that many of us feel it's unnecessary and intrusive. But I also don't have Facebook or Instagram, so blazoning my location and doings isn't my jam.

You missed the point entirely. For hundreds of generations we lived in ways that are completely unacceptable today. We have advancements today that we would never want to live without.

In my experience, People who rely on what happened for hundreds of generations as a reason something should or shouldn’t happen in 2026 have shockingly poor judgment.

Sure, but surveillance isn't one of them, to me.

Do you use a smart phone? Maps? Google? You are already being surveilled but you only seem to complain about your wife/husband.

[Anonymous]

It is both.

Obviously, it can be somebody overly controlling and possessive. Or it could be somebody loving and just liking to see where their spouse is (I love to see where my kids and my best friends are when I check the phone. That said, one child doesn't share her location, one does. My BFF shares her location with me, and checks up on me, too. But other friends will share with me just when we are attempting to connect).

It can also be that spouse is doing something shady. When I do shady things I'm very glad that DH doesn't location share with me. B/c then I'd be up a creek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't currently, nor does my husband with me. But if that was his reaction? I'd be going through is phone TODAY. That response is suspicious AF.

Op here. I did, didn’t find anything.

How do you go through someone's phone? I don't have my husband's password nor he mine.

Of course I have my H's password and he has mine, why wouldn't he. How would he unlock it when he is using it.

For privacy?

Having someone's password doesn't mean you're violating their privacy. It's not hard.

But it does mean they could. I prefer to take that option off the table.

So you would rather be married to someone that you don't trust enough to share your password with than the reverse? Interesting. I'd rather be married to someone I trust enough to share my password with because I know they'd never use it to violate my privacy. But you do what you need to in order to protect yourself I guess.

I trust him and he trusts me. It's why there's no need to share passwords.

At Least put a list of your passwords in a file
Somewhere in case one of you dies. I can speak from experience, it's a NIGHTMARE trying to deal with an estate if you can't log into any of the electronics or websites.

Write them down somewhere or your loved ones will end up in an administrative hell if you die unexpectedly.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what the Venn diagram is for "couples who maintain separate bank accounts" and "couples who are opposed to sharing location information with each other."

I'll bet there is a lot of overlap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His response is way over the top. DH and I share locations. I think I have checked it twice. I actually forgot we shared. Now we share location with our kids and that is super convenient.

Op here. Yeah we share with our teens too and I find it to be convenient. That’s why I asked. I have no intention or desire to track him all the time, just the occasions when I am waiting on him and wondering how long it’ll take to get to where I am.

But he sees it as some strange trust issue.

He’s shady as Fk. I’d be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His response is abnormal. We share in my family. I rarely look at my husband’s, and I doubt he looks at mine, but it’s good in an emergency.

Your husband is being sus.

+100

We all have it on. I rarely look—only if we are going somewhere and somebody isn’t home - and want to see how close they are, etc.

I never look at my college kid’s location- but the option is there if needed. I gave a new driver (younger sib) so I will check if he is where he said he’d be. Still have some restrictions on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't currently, nor does my husband with me. But if that was his reaction? I'd be going through is phone TODAY. That response is suspicious AF.

Op here. I did, didn’t find anything.

How do you go through someone's phone? I don't have my husband's password nor he mine.

Of course I have my H's password and he has mine, why wouldn't he. How would he unlock it when he is using it.

For privacy?

Having someone's password doesn't mean you're violating their privacy. It's not hard.

But it does mean they could. I prefer to take that option off the table.

So you would rather be married to someone that you don't trust enough to share your password with than the reverse? Interesting. I'd rather be married to someone I trust enough to share my password with because I know they'd never use it to violate my privacy. But you do what you need to in order to protect yourself I guess.

I trust him and he trusts me. It's why there's no need to share passwords.

At Least put a list of your passwords in a file
Somewhere in case one of you dies. I can speak from experience, it's a NIGHTMARE trying to deal with an estate if you can't log into any of the electronics or websites.

Write them down somewhere or your loved ones will end up in an administrative hell if you die unexpectedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what the Venn diagram is for "couples who maintain separate bank accounts" and "couples who are opposed to sharing location information with each other."

I'll bet there is a lot of overlap.

Agree.
Both make cheating possible.