Location sharing with spouse

[Anonymous]

I wonder what the Venn diagram is for "couples who maintain separate bank accounts" and "couples who are opposed to sharing location information with each other."

I'll bet there is a lot of overlap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His response is way over the top. DH and I share locations. I think I have checked it twice. I actually forgot we shared. Now we share location with our kids and that is super convenient.

Op here. Yeah we share with our teens too and I find it to be convenient. That’s why I asked. I have no intention or desire to track him all the time, just the occasions when I am waiting on him and wondering how long it’ll take to get to where I am.

But he sees it as some strange trust issue.

He’s shady as Fk. I’d be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His response is abnormal. We share in my family. I rarely look at my husband’s, and I doubt he looks at mine, but it’s good in an emergency.

Your husband is being sus.

+100

We all have it on. I rarely look—only if we are going somewhere and somebody isn’t home - and want to see how close they are, etc.

I never look at my college kid’s location- but the option is there if needed. I gave a new driver (younger sib) so I will check if he is where he said he’d be. Still have some restrictions on him.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't currently, nor does my husband with me. But if that was his reaction? I'd be going through is phone TODAY. That response is suspicious AF.

Op here. I did, didn’t find anything.

How do you go through someone's phone? I don't have my husband's password nor he mine.

Of course I have my H's password and he has mine, why wouldn't he. How would he unlock it when he is using it.

For privacy?

Having someone's password doesn't mean you're violating their privacy. It's not hard.

But it does mean they could. I prefer to take that option off the table.

So you would rather be married to someone that you don't trust enough to share your password with than the reverse? Interesting. I'd rather be married to someone I trust enough to share my password with because I know they'd never use it to violate my privacy. But you do what you need to in order to protect yourself I guess.

I trust him and he trusts me. It's why there's no need to share passwords.

At Least put a list of your passwords in a file
Somewhere in case one of you dies. I can speak from experience, it's a NIGHTMARE trying to deal with an estate if you can't log into any of the electronics or websites.

Write them down somewhere or your loved ones will end up in an administrative hell if you die unexpectedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what the Venn diagram is for "couples who maintain separate bank accounts" and "couples who are opposed to sharing location information with each other."

I'll bet there is a lot of overlap.

Agree.
Both make cheating possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what the Venn diagram is for "couples who maintain separate bank accounts" and "couples who are opposed to sharing location information with each other."

I'll bet there is a lot of overlap.

My DH and I have always maintained separate checking accounts, though our investment accounts are joint. We’ve never been interested in monitoring each other’s discretionary expenditures.

I think it’s beyond bizarre that people have a problem enabling Find My Friends for their spouse and kids, unless they are doing something shady or have a spouse that misuses the technology.

[Anonymous]

No it is not weird….

There are definitely a lot of benefits when knowing your spouse’s location - - such as the ones that you specifically mentioned.

It is odd that your husband blew up at you over your request.
He shouldn’t be angry over your reasonable request.

I would have an issue w/my husband if he didn’t agree to this ->> it would signal to me that he had something to hide.

Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We share. No big deal. It's pretty practical.

+1

I couldn’t agree any more.
It’s a practical as well as useful tool that can make everyone’s life much easier.
Anyone who reads anything else into it has definitely something they are keeping on the down low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it would never occur to me to track my spouse. Like WTAF.

My DH and I share with each other because there is absolutely nothing he can't know and he feels the same way. Anyone with a reaction like yours is most definitely hiding stuff.

We share and I find it super convenient. How much time till he is home? Is he able to pick up kid from school given timing? Emergency situations. Did you leave the store yet because I forgot to mention XYZ. Safety. I don’t check often but maybe once in a while for the examples above!

Once I was wondering why it took him so long to come home and randomly checked. We have inside jokes and it was funny to see where he was (ice cream store) and so I texted a goofy message. That was at the beginning of tracking and wouldn’t be be funny now -

[Anonymous]

We don’t share but I’d never blow up. We are Xennials and grew up as latch key kids and it seems weird to be tethered this way. But if my spouse really wanted to share, i would be ok with it i guess. I would wonder why he’d want it (anxiety? Projection? Planning a surprise party?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t share but I’d never blow up. We are Xennials and grew up as latch key kids and it seems weird to be tethered this way. But if my spouse really wanted to share, i would be ok with it i guess. I would wonder why he’d want it (anxiety? Projection? Planning a surprise party?).

I think a lot of it is anxiety. People can't cope without their phone in their hand and knowing where people are all the time. I think cell phones have made people feel a certain way and for anxious people, they need that tether. They are the helicopter generation in phone form - hovering over everyone, making sure they know where everyone is all the time, checking in with them frequently. There was a study where students reported high levels of anxiety after only 3 hours without their phone. They were worried there would be an emergency and they wouldn't know about it. Being able to be in constant contact via location checking and other text features is a way people reinforce their anxiety.

If my spouse wanted to share, I would probably ask him first to see a doctor and explore his anxiety issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t share but I’d never blow up. We are Xennials and grew up as latch key kids and it seems weird to be tethered this way. But if my spouse really wanted to share, i would be ok with it i guess. I would wonder why he’d want it (anxiety? Projection? Planning a surprise party?).

I think a lot of it is anxiety. People can't cope without their phone in their hand and knowing where people are all the time. I think cell phones have made people feel a certain way and for anxious people, they need that tether. They are the helicopter generation in phone form - hovering over everyone, making sure they know where everyone is all the time, checking in with them frequently. There was a study where students reported high levels of anxiety after only 3 hours without their phone. They were worried there would be an emergency and they wouldn't know about it. Being able to be in constant contact via location checking and other text features is a way people reinforce their anxiety.

If my spouse wanted to share, I would probably ask him first to see a doctor and explore his anxiety issues.

You're overthinking it. Knowing locations is a great convenience that comes at no particular cost.

[Anonymous]

Any husband with half a brain knows that you get a burner phone to conduct your business, then disable or spoof the location feature onj your main phone.

[Anonymous]

We don't share because we don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what the Venn diagram is for "couples who maintain separate bank accounts" and "couples who are opposed to sharing location information with each other."

I'll bet there is a lot of overlap.

Agree.
Both make cheating possible.

I still have my own bank account from before I was married. We pool all our expenses into our joint account, but I would NEVER not have a small account of my own. That's just dumb for a variety of reasons.