Anonymous wrote:Meghan is always going to be too much or not enough for middle aged women. It's because they envy her. Her husband gave up everything for her, he protects her and their kids, he is a family man, and he supports her independent projects. She is beautiful, educated, well spoken, has her own career and money and ALL of that was before she met Harry. Together they've most made each other better.
If you look at the women who loudly and proudly talk shit about Meghan... you can see why they are mad. Jealousy makes you ugly on the inside and outside... and the outside of these women is NOT pretty.
Giving up everything (your friends and family) is a red flag. This Hollywood drama isn't what makes a healthy happy marriage.
That said, I am sure plenty of people are jealous of her, and I agree she is stunning.
Babe going no contact because your family is toxic towards you and toxic towards your spouse and kids IS NOT a red flag it's actually the healthiest response. If my family turned the toxic British press on my husband to cover their shenanigans, I would absolutely take him, my kid and leave. Period.
Harry and Meghan did the right thing and certain people will never be over it. So sad for those who cannot live in reality and waste their time spewing hate towards a woman they'll never know and who doesn't know they exist.
Some of these women would've done more for their own lives if they had focused on the elections at home (presidential in the US and Brexit in the UK) and voted their interests. Instead they stay stalking a woman who is minding her own business. Sad.
It is NOT normal to cut your whole family and social circle off. Cutting off 1 person (looking at you, Prince Andrew) or going low contact, sure. But losing your entire social circle and family wouldn't be something most therapists would recommend.
Remember Catherine's black sheep uncle who eventually went on a reality show? Even he hasn't been cut off. It is very extreme to cut multiple family members and friends off, and any good therapist will tell you this. Unfortunately today people act like that is "normal."
Also what's with the "Babe" thing?
DP here.
It's healthy to cut off people who refuse to try and understand or communicate with you as an equal. It's healthy to cut people off when they don't respect your spouse or children. I don't think it's "normal" but the dysfunction in both Harry's family and in Meghan's dad's family is also not "normal" and if they feel they need distance in order to protect themselves and their kids, that's healthy.
I'll also note that Harry actually has not cut off his family. He still sees and is friendly with his cousins and multiple of his friends from pre-Meghan. He has also spoken to his dad. It's a very strained relationship. But it's not like Harry has totally cut these people out of his life forever. He's set boundaries. That's all.
This is a very popular opinion: to “cut off” family who don’t communicate with you as a perceived “equal”.
Unpopular opinion: I disagree and think sometimes maintaining contact on your own terms is best. I was the child of an abusive father and when I became an adult, I learned to structure my visits to my parents very carefully. I didn’t stay in their house, and would visit at the house for a quick meal or meet my parents at a restaurant while I stayed with friends or in a hotel.
This was hard because I was poor as a young adult, but we all made it work.
Harry and Meghan are not poor and could easily structure visits with the family on their own time and terms. They have opted to write a tell all book and try to make demands when they visit. Their version of boundaries hurt their families (both my keeping grandkids away from grandparents and cousins) and themselves rather than setting boundaries that help all. It is possible and healthier.
How do you know they haven't tried to renew contact on their own terms? Harry tried to meet with Charles who refused a meeting. Apparently they exchange kids' Christmas gifts. And, Harry wrote the book to set the record straight because Charles, Camilla, William and Kate either gave the tabloids the ugly stories about Harry and Meghan or refused to deny the ugly stories (see the flower girl dresses).
-- somebody with an abusive sister (as in, threw me against a bookcase, for starters) who also maintains contact by structuring that contact very carefully
ITA. Harry has not been perfect but I find that understandable because his family is SO AWFUL to him. I find the whole royal family ridiculous and think most of these people would be better off, and more personally fulfilled, if they could have just had normal lives with normal jobs. Being a royal should be in the DSM-V. It's a stupid "job" and I think gives you serious mental health issues. So I actually have empathy for all of them. But Harry at least acknowledges what's awful about it publicly. Which is also what his mom did, and she is posthumously beloved for it (she got plenty of criticism for when she was alive).
I think the same will happen with Harry. 50 years from now people will look back on this whole incident and I think Harry will look like the canary in the coal mine, Meghan will look like an innocent bystander, and Charles, Camilla, William, and Kate will look like the dinosaurs they are, trying to defend an inexcusable and outdated system. And the sad thing is that Charles really did want to modernize the monarchy. But I actually think it is William standing in his way -- William and Kate want to be old style royals, where they are adored from afar and held accountable for nothing.
You can’t extrapolate what happens your regular-level dysfunctional family with the BRF. Harry has said he believes the BRF killed his mother to silence her. They have said the way the BRF works to their own members is to feed stories to the tabloids of the lower members to protect the higher ones. Harry didn’t want to deal with that. Meghan knew it was a life of public scrutiny but not one of them eating their own. It’s not a healthy way to raise kids at all.
But Meghan was right to extrapolate that her life would be great in the BRF? I just can’t buy that any woman who cares about women’s rights would think being a princess (whose job is to look attractive and be nice) isn’t a job loaded with misogynistic and imperialist overtones. It isn’t just the public scrutiny it is that within the royal family, the expectations to “be a lady’ and not buck social conventions is THE entire job. Of course it is toxic and any family member raised in it would be toxic.
Haven’t we all seen enough Disney movies to know being a princess has its down sides too? Meghan seems fairly intelligent, and for her not to be able to put that together is silly. Harry couldn’t find anyone to marry him becuase of his toxic family. Why does Meghan get a pass from you for not seeing that? You see it, why not expect her (a self proclaimed champion of women) to see it?
This is why people dislike Meghan. If you have a modicum of social intelligence you would see right though Meghan's power and status seeking intentions and subsequent behavior.
If Meghan was deeply in love with Harry, she would have understood that marrying him means marrying into the British Royal family. This means that she would access skyrocketing level of privilege and access but she would also be operating within an imperial institution that played a large role in colonial expansion of the British Empire and racism. You can even see her be reasonably OK with playing the part of a princess and getting along with his family as an extension of her love for him. She would have married him, retired queitly into the English country side and had her children and we would see photos of them at polo events and in the occasional royal engagement she and Harry were assigned.
If we were truly a socially conscious bi-racial liberal woman who cherishes her heritage and wants to use her fame to make a difference, she would not have married Harry as he is the clearest and most obvious symbol of an archaic colonialist and racist institution. They would never make it past the first date! She would have dignity and values and walk away to find someone whose values align with hers.
However, Meghan did neither! She saw Harry as castles, tiaras, priviledge and access and status. She wanted to marry him because he was the highest status man and she wanted to be his wife and get her castle and jewels and tiaras and people bowing to her. The dirty history of his family was clearly NOT a deterrent. However, once she joined the institution and realized her dreams of aggrandizement through her marriage would be heavily controlled by his family members....she wanted out!!
Then she makes an escape plan and decides to land in Montecito and sell out his family and friends to make millions of dollars so she can now cosplay as a Princess in Montecito.
She is a cheap status seeking woman who is ready to sell anyone and everyone.
All of this, well said. She’s a low-taste cheap and grimy hustler who made it further than she could have imagined because she banged a moron on the sly at Soho House. Harry is almost unfathomably stupid, but Meghan is only brighter than he; the average poster here would not be snowed. Meghan quite obviously thought since Harry took every bit of her fake self at face value, that she could also convince more skeptical and intellectually capable people that she was not a low-skilled actress skanking out on her live-in boyfriend with their troubled idiot family member. No, Meghan was a skinny, hot, biracial Eleanor Roosevelt. Everyone who encountered her - family, staff, friends who became former friends fast - caught on to her false persona by the time they got engaged.
Let’s see how the jam does. I mean, spread. Sussex Spread will create equity and a seat at the table for strong female founders, right?
Oh look, DCUM's two royalist Meghan haters are having a conversation with each other about what they read in the Mail Online. Newsflash, you're not convincing any normal, non-racist DCUMers with your screeds.
Anonymous wrote:Meghan is always going to be too much or not enough for middle aged women. It's because they envy her. Her husband gave up everything for her, he protects her and their kids, he is a family man, and he supports her independent projects. She is beautiful, educated, well spoken, has her own career and money and ALL of that was before she met Harry. Together they've most made each other better.
If you look at the women who loudly and proudly talk shit about Meghan... you can see why they are mad. Jealousy makes you ugly on the inside and outside... and the outside of these women is NOT pretty.
Giving up everything (your friends and family) is a red flag. This Hollywood drama isn't what makes a healthy happy marriage.
That said, I am sure plenty of people are jealous of her, and I agree she is stunning.
Babe going no contact because your family is toxic towards you and toxic towards your spouse and kids IS NOT a red flag it's actually the healthiest response. If my family turned the toxic British press on my husband to cover their shenanigans, I would absolutely take him, my kid and leave. Period.
Harry and Meghan did the right thing and certain people will never be over it. So sad for those who cannot live in reality and waste their time spewing hate towards a woman they'll never know and who doesn't know they exist.
Some of these women would've done more for their own lives if they had focused on the elections at home (presidential in the US and Brexit in the UK) and voted their interests. Instead they stay stalking a woman who is minding her own business. Sad.
It is NOT normal to cut your whole family and social circle off. Cutting off 1 person (looking at you, Prince Andrew) or going low contact, sure. But losing your entire social circle and family wouldn't be something most therapists would recommend.
Remember Catherine's black sheep uncle who eventually went on a reality show? Even he hasn't been cut off. It is very extreme to cut multiple family members and friends off, and any good therapist will tell you this. Unfortunately today people act like that is "normal."
Also what's with the "Babe" thing?
DP here.
It's healthy to cut off people who refuse to try and understand or communicate with you as an equal. It's healthy to cut people off when they don't respect your spouse or children. I don't think it's "normal" but the dysfunction in both Harry's family and in Meghan's dad's family is also not "normal" and if they feel they need distance in order to protect themselves and their kids, that's healthy.
I'll also note that Harry actually has not cut off his family. He still sees and is friendly with his cousins and multiple of his friends from pre-Meghan. He has also spoken to his dad. It's a very strained relationship. But it's not like Harry has totally cut these people out of his life forever. He's set boundaries. That's all.
This is a very popular opinion: to “cut off” family who don’t communicate with you as a perceived “equal”.
Unpopular opinion: I disagree and think sometimes maintaining contact on your own terms is best. I was the child of an abusive father and when I became an adult, I learned to structure my visits to my parents very carefully. I didn’t stay in their house, and would visit at the house for a quick meal or meet my parents at a restaurant while I stayed with friends or in a hotel.
This was hard because I was poor as a young adult, but we all made it work.
Harry and Meghan are not poor and could easily structure visits with the family on their own time and terms. They have opted to write a tell all book and try to make demands when they visit. Their version of boundaries hurt their families (both my keeping grandkids away from grandparents and cousins) and themselves rather than setting boundaries that help all. It is possible and healthier.
How do you know they haven't tried to renew contact on their own terms? Harry tried to meet with Charles who refused a meeting. Apparently they exchange kids' Christmas gifts. And, Harry wrote the book to set the record straight because Charles, Camilla, William and Kate either gave the tabloids the ugly stories about Harry and Meghan or refused to deny the ugly stories (see the flower girl dresses).
-- somebody with an abusive sister (as in, threw me against a bookcase, for starters) who also maintains contact by structuring that contact very carefully
ITA. Harry has not been perfect but I find that understandable because his family is SO AWFUL to him. I find the whole royal family ridiculous and think most of these people would be better off, and more personally fulfilled, if they could have just had normal lives with normal jobs. Being a royal should be in the DSM-V. It's a stupid "job" and I think gives you serious mental health issues. So I actually have empathy for all of them. But Harry at least acknowledges what's awful about it publicly. Which is also what his mom did, and she is posthumously beloved for it (she got plenty of criticism for when she was alive).
I think the same will happen with Harry. 50 years from now people will look back on this whole incident and I think Harry will look like the canary in the coal mine, Meghan will look like an innocent bystander, and Charles, Camilla, William, and Kate will look like the dinosaurs they are, trying to defend an inexcusable and outdated system. And the sad thing is that Charles really did want to modernize the monarchy. But I actually think it is William standing in his way -- William and Kate want to be old style royals, where they are adored from afar and held accountable for nothing.
You can’t extrapolate what happens your regular-level dysfunctional family with the BRF. Harry has said he believes the BRF killed his mother to silence her. They have said the way the BRF works to their own members is to feed stories to the tabloids of the lower members to protect the higher ones. Harry didn’t want to deal with that. Meghan knew it was a life of public scrutiny but not one of them eating their own. It’s not a healthy way to raise kids at all.
But Meghan was right to extrapolate that her life would be great in the BRF? I just can’t buy that any woman who cares about women’s rights would think being a princess (whose job is to look attractive and be nice) isn’t a job loaded with misogynistic and imperialist overtones. It isn’t just the public scrutiny it is that within the royal family, the expectations to “be a lady’ and not buck social conventions is THE entire job. Of course it is toxic and any family member raised in it would be toxic.
Haven’t we all seen enough Disney movies to know being a princess has its down sides too? Meghan seems fairly intelligent, and for her not to be able to put that together is silly. Harry couldn’t find anyone to marry him becuase of his toxic family. Why does Meghan get a pass from you for not seeing that? You see it, why not expect her (a self proclaimed champion of women) to see it?
This is why people dislike Meghan. If you have a modicum of social intelligence you would see right though Meghan's power and status seeking intentions and subsequent behavior.
If Meghan was deeply in love with Harry, she would have understood that marrying him means marrying into the British Royal family. This means that she would access skyrocketing level of privilege and access but she would also be operating within an imperial institution that played a large role in colonial expansion of the British Empire and racism. You can even see her be reasonably OK with playing the part of a princess and getting along with his family as an extension of her love for him. She would have married him, retired queitly into the English country side and had her children and we would see photos of them at polo events and in the occasional royal engagement she and Harry were assigned.
If we were truly a socially conscious bi-racial liberal woman who cherishes her heritage and wants to use her fame to make a difference, she would not have married Harry as he is the clearest and most obvious symbol of an archaic colonialist and racist institution. They would never make it past the first date! She would have dignity and values and walk away to find someone whose values align with hers.
However, Meghan did neither! She saw Harry as castles, tiaras, priviledge and access and status. She wanted to marry him because he was the highest status man and she wanted to be his wife and get her castle and jewels and tiaras and people bowing to her. The dirty history of his family was clearly NOT a deterrent. However, once she joined the institution and realized her dreams of aggrandizement through her marriage would be heavily controlled by his family members....she wanted out!!
Then she makes an escape plan and decides to land in Montecito and sell out his family and friends to make millions of dollars so she can now cosplay as a Princess in Montecito.
She is a cheap status seeking woman who is ready to sell anyone and everyone.
All of this, well said. She’s a low-taste cheap and grimy hustler who made it further than she could have imagined because she banged a moron on the sly at Soho House. Harry is almost unfathomably stupid, but Meghan is only brighter than he; the average poster here would not be snowed. Meghan quite obviously thought since Harry took every bit of her fake self at face value, that she could also convince more skeptical and intellectually capable people that she was not a low-skilled actress skanking out on her live-in boyfriend with their troubled idiot family member. No, Meghan was a skinny, hot, biracial Eleanor Roosevelt. Everyone who encountered her - family, staff, friends who became former friends fast - caught on to her false persona by the time they got engaged.
Let’s see how the jam does. I mean, spread. Sussex Spread will create equity and a seat at the table for strong female founders, right?
Oh look, DCUM's two royalist Meghan haters are having a conversation with each other about what they read in the Mail Online. Newsflash, you're not convincing any normal, non-racist DCUMers with your screeds.
You must be racist if you don't admire Meg for making peanut pretzels bags and rainbow fruit trays. You must be racist not to understand this lifestyle visionary.
On the next show Meghan should talk about the snacks she made for the Queen before she decided the queen was racist but she still wanted to live off the Queen's money and reflected glory.
Anonymous wrote:Meghan is always going to be too much or not enough for middle aged women. It's because they envy her. Her husband gave up everything for her, he protects her and their kids, he is a family man, and he supports her independent projects. She is beautiful, educated, well spoken, has her own career and money and ALL of that was before she met Harry. Together they've most made each other better.
If you look at the women who loudly and proudly talk shit about Meghan... you can see why they are mad. Jealousy makes you ugly on the inside and outside... and the outside of these women is NOT pretty.
Giving up everything (your friends and family) is a red flag. This Hollywood drama isn't what makes a healthy happy marriage.
That said, I am sure plenty of people are jealous of her, and I agree she is stunning.
Babe going no contact because your family is toxic towards you and toxic towards your spouse and kids IS NOT a red flag it's actually the healthiest response. If my family turned the toxic British press on my husband to cover their shenanigans, I would absolutely take him, my kid and leave. Period.
Harry and Meghan did the right thing and certain people will never be over it. So sad for those who cannot live in reality and waste their time spewing hate towards a woman they'll never know and who doesn't know they exist.
Some of these women would've done more for their own lives if they had focused on the elections at home (presidential in the US and Brexit in the UK) and voted their interests. Instead they stay stalking a woman who is minding her own business. Sad.
It is NOT normal to cut your whole family and social circle off. Cutting off 1 person (looking at you, Prince Andrew) or going low contact, sure. But losing your entire social circle and family wouldn't be something most therapists would recommend.
Remember Catherine's black sheep uncle who eventually went on a reality show? Even he hasn't been cut off. It is very extreme to cut multiple family members and friends off, and any good therapist will tell you this. Unfortunately today people act like that is "normal."
Also what's with the "Babe" thing?
DP here.
It's healthy to cut off people who refuse to try and understand or communicate with you as an equal. It's healthy to cut people off when they don't respect your spouse or children. I don't think it's "normal" but the dysfunction in both Harry's family and in Meghan's dad's family is also not "normal" and if they feel they need distance in order to protect themselves and their kids, that's healthy.
I'll also note that Harry actually has not cut off his family. He still sees and is friendly with his cousins and multiple of his friends from pre-Meghan. He has also spoken to his dad. It's a very strained relationship. But it's not like Harry has totally cut these people out of his life forever. He's set boundaries. That's all.
This is a very popular opinion: to “cut off” family who don’t communicate with you as a perceived “equal”.
Unpopular opinion: I disagree and think sometimes maintaining contact on your own terms is best. I was the child of an abusive father and when I became an adult, I learned to structure my visits to my parents very carefully. I didn’t stay in their house, and would visit at the house for a quick meal or meet my parents at a restaurant while I stayed with friends or in a hotel.
This was hard because I was poor as a young adult, but we all made it work.
Harry and Meghan are not poor and could easily structure visits with the family on their own time and terms. They have opted to write a tell all book and try to make demands when they visit. Their version of boundaries hurt their families (both my keeping grandkids away from grandparents and cousins) and themselves rather than setting boundaries that help all. It is possible and healthier.
How do you know they haven't tried to renew contact on their own terms? Harry tried to meet with Charles who refused a meeting. Apparently they exchange kids' Christmas gifts. And, Harry wrote the book to set the record straight because Charles, Camilla, William and Kate either gave the tabloids the ugly stories about Harry and Meghan or refused to deny the ugly stories (see the flower girl dresses).
-- somebody with an abusive sister (as in, threw me against a bookcase, for starters) who also maintains contact by structuring that contact very carefully
ITA. Harry has not been perfect but I find that understandable because his family is SO AWFUL to him. I find the whole royal family ridiculous and think most of these people would be better off, and more personally fulfilled, if they could have just had normal lives with normal jobs. Being a royal should be in the DSM-V. It's a stupid "job" and I think gives you serious mental health issues. So I actually have empathy for all of them. But Harry at least acknowledges what's awful about it publicly. Which is also what his mom did, and she is posthumously beloved for it (she got plenty of criticism for when she was alive).
I think the same will happen with Harry. 50 years from now people will look back on this whole incident and I think Harry will look like the canary in the coal mine, Meghan will look like an innocent bystander, and Charles, Camilla, William, and Kate will look like the dinosaurs they are, trying to defend an inexcusable and outdated system. And the sad thing is that Charles really did want to modernize the monarchy. But I actually think it is William standing in his way -- William and Kate want to be old style royals, where they are adored from afar and held accountable for nothing.
You can’t extrapolate what happens your regular-level dysfunctional family with the BRF. Harry has said he believes the BRF killed his mother to silence her. They have said the way the BRF works to their own members is to feed stories to the tabloids of the lower members to protect the higher ones. Harry didn’t want to deal with that. Meghan knew it was a life of public scrutiny but not one of them eating their own. It’s not a healthy way to raise kids at all.
But Meghan was right to extrapolate that her life would be great in the BRF? I just can’t buy that any woman who cares about women’s rights would think being a princess (whose job is to look attractive and be nice) isn’t a job loaded with misogynistic and imperialist overtones. It isn’t just the public scrutiny it is that within the royal family, the expectations to “be a lady’ and not buck social conventions is THE entire job. Of course it is toxic and any family member raised in it would be toxic.
Haven’t we all seen enough Disney movies to know being a princess has its down sides too? Meghan seems fairly intelligent, and for her not to be able to put that together is silly. Harry couldn’t find anyone to marry him becuase of his toxic family. Why does Meghan get a pass from you for not seeing that? You see it, why not expect her (a self proclaimed champion of women) to see it?
This is why people dislike Meghan. If you have a modicum of social intelligence you would see right though Meghan's power and status seeking intentions and subsequent behavior.
If Meghan was deeply in love with Harry, she would have understood that marrying him means marrying into the British Royal family. This means that she would access skyrocketing level of privilege and access but she would also be operating within an imperial institution that played a large role in colonial expansion of the British Empire and racism. You can even see her be reasonably OK with playing the part of a princess and getting along with his family as an extension of her love for him. She would have married him, retired queitly into the English country side and had her children and we would see photos of them at polo events and in the occasional royal engagement she and Harry were assigned.
If we were truly a socially conscious bi-racial liberal woman who cherishes her heritage and wants to use her fame to make a difference, she would not have married Harry as he is the clearest and most obvious symbol of an archaic colonialist and racist institution. They would never make it past the first date! She would have dignity and values and walk away to find someone whose values align with hers.
However, Meghan did neither! She saw Harry as castles, tiaras, priviledge and access and status. She wanted to marry him because he was the highest status man and she wanted to be his wife and get her castle and jewels and tiaras and people bowing to her. The dirty history of his family was clearly NOT a deterrent. However, once she joined the institution and realized her dreams of aggrandizement through her marriage would be heavily controlled by his family members....she wanted out!!
Then she makes an escape plan and decides to land in Montecito and sell out his family and friends to make millions of dollars so she can now cosplay as a Princess in Montecito.
She is a cheap status seeking woman who is ready to sell anyone and everyone.
All of this, well said. She’s a low-taste cheap and grimy hustler who made it further than she could have imagined because she banged a moron on the sly at Soho House. Harry is almost unfathomably stupid, but Meghan is only brighter than he; the average poster here would not be snowed. Meghan quite obviously thought since Harry took every bit of her fake self at face value, that she could also convince more skeptical and intellectually capable people that she was not a low-skilled actress skanking out on her live-in boyfriend with their troubled idiot family member. No, Meghan was a skinny, hot, biracial Eleanor Roosevelt. Everyone who encountered her - family, staff, friends who became former friends fast - caught on to her false persona by the time they got engaged.
Let’s see how the jam does. I mean, spread. Sussex Spread will create equity and a seat at the table for strong female founders, right?
It’s crazy how these petty little haters go back and forth with each other. I mean this response is just nasty and sad. They sound like true Trumpers. And I don’t mean in a political sense, I’m using him as an example of how you can probably be living a great life, but instead of enjoying it and filling your brain with rainbows and roses, you spend your free time willingly creating nasty narratives about someone you don’t even and will never know. To say something like this, to use this language is so pathetic. You truly have to hate yourself and your life.
“Everyone who encountered her - family, staff, friends who became former friends fast - caught on to her false persona by the time they got engaged.” In what world would make you create this scenario in your head? You have got to be on anti-psychotics to dream this up. Folks might have said yeah I agree with some of the previous petty little posts, but this one is off the rails. This goes past just idle gossip on an anonymous message board. You’re rancid.
Effortless touches to show the friends and family you’re not currently/yet estranged from that you’re thinking of them, what’s not to live laugh love? Release the bees!
Anonymous wrote:Meghan is always going to be too much or not enough for middle aged women. It's because they envy her. Her husband gave up everything for her, he protects her and their kids, he is a family man, and he supports her independent projects. She is beautiful, educated, well spoken, has her own career and money and ALL of that was before she met Harry. Together they've most made each other better.
If you look at the women who loudly and proudly talk shit about Meghan... you can see why they are mad. Jealousy makes you ugly on the inside and outside... and the outside of these women is NOT pretty.
Giving up everything (your friends and family) is a red flag. This Hollywood drama isn't what makes a healthy happy marriage.
That said, I am sure plenty of people are jealous of her, and I agree she is stunning.
Babe going no contact because your family is toxic towards you and toxic towards your spouse and kids IS NOT a red flag it's actually the healthiest response. If my family turned the toxic British press on my husband to cover their shenanigans, I would absolutely take him, my kid and leave. Period.
Harry and Meghan did the right thing and certain people will never be over it. So sad for those who cannot live in reality and waste their time spewing hate towards a woman they'll never know and who doesn't know they exist.
Some of these women would've done more for their own lives if they had focused on the elections at home (presidential in the US and Brexit in the UK) and voted their interests. Instead they stay stalking a woman who is minding her own business. Sad.
It is NOT normal to cut your whole family and social circle off. Cutting off 1 person (looking at you, Prince Andrew) or going low contact, sure. But losing your entire social circle and family wouldn't be something most therapists would recommend.
Remember Catherine's black sheep uncle who eventually went on a reality show? Even he hasn't been cut off. It is very extreme to cut multiple family members and friends off, and any good therapist will tell you this. Unfortunately today people act like that is "normal."
Also what's with the "Babe" thing?
DP here.
It's healthy to cut off people who refuse to try and understand or communicate with you as an equal. It's healthy to cut people off when they don't respect your spouse or children. I don't think it's "normal" but the dysfunction in both Harry's family and in Meghan's dad's family is also not "normal" and if they feel they need distance in order to protect themselves and their kids, that's healthy.
I'll also note that Harry actually has not cut off his family. He still sees and is friendly with his cousins and multiple of his friends from pre-Meghan. He has also spoken to his dad. It's a very strained relationship. But it's not like Harry has totally cut these people out of his life forever. He's set boundaries. That's all.
This is a very popular opinion: to “cut off” family who don’t communicate with you as a perceived “equal”.
Unpopular opinion: I disagree and think sometimes maintaining contact on your own terms is best. I was the child of an abusive father and when I became an adult, I learned to structure my visits to my parents very carefully. I didn’t stay in their house, and would visit at the house for a quick meal or meet my parents at a restaurant while I stayed with friends or in a hotel.
This was hard because I was poor as a young adult, but we all made it work.
Harry and Meghan are not poor and could easily structure visits with the family on their own time and terms. They have opted to write a tell all book and try to make demands when they visit. Their version of boundaries hurt their families (both my keeping grandkids away from grandparents and cousins) and themselves rather than setting boundaries that help all. It is possible and healthier.
How do you know they haven't tried to renew contact on their own terms? Harry tried to meet with Charles who refused a meeting. Apparently they exchange kids' Christmas gifts. And, Harry wrote the book to set the record straight because Charles, Camilla, William and Kate either gave the tabloids the ugly stories about Harry and Meghan or refused to deny the ugly stories (see the flower girl dresses).
-- somebody with an abusive sister (as in, threw me against a bookcase, for starters) who also maintains contact by structuring that contact very carefully
ITA. Harry has not been perfect but I find that understandable because his family is SO AWFUL to him. I find the whole royal family ridiculous and think most of these people would be better off, and more personally fulfilled, if they could have just had normal lives with normal jobs. Being a royal should be in the DSM-V. It's a stupid "job" and I think gives you serious mental health issues. So I actually have empathy for all of them. But Harry at least acknowledges what's awful about it publicly. Which is also what his mom did, and she is posthumously beloved for it (she got plenty of criticism for when she was alive).
I think the same will happen with Harry. 50 years from now people will look back on this whole incident and I think Harry will look like the canary in the coal mine, Meghan will look like an innocent bystander, and Charles, Camilla, William, and Kate will look like the dinosaurs they are, trying to defend an inexcusable and outdated system. And the sad thing is that Charles really did want to modernize the monarchy. But I actually think it is William standing in his way -- William and Kate want to be old style royals, where they are adored from afar and held accountable for nothing.
You can’t extrapolate what happens your regular-level dysfunctional family with the BRF. Harry has said he believes the BRF killed his mother to silence her. They have said the way the BRF works to their own members is to feed stories to the tabloids of the lower members to protect the higher ones. Harry didn’t want to deal with that. Meghan knew it was a life of public scrutiny but not one of them eating their own. It’s not a healthy way to raise kids at all.
But Meghan was right to extrapolate that her life would be great in the BRF? I just can’t buy that any woman who cares about women’s rights would think being a princess (whose job is to look attractive and be nice) isn’t a job loaded with misogynistic and imperialist overtones. It isn’t just the public scrutiny it is that within the royal family, the expectations to “be a lady’ and not buck social conventions is THE entire job. Of course it is toxic and any family member raised in it would be toxic.
Haven’t we all seen enough Disney movies to know being a princess has its down sides too? Meghan seems fairly intelligent, and for her not to be able to put that together is silly. Harry couldn’t find anyone to marry him becuase of his toxic family. Why does Meghan get a pass from you for not seeing that? You see it, why not expect her (a self proclaimed champion of women) to see it?
This is why people dislike Meghan. If you have a modicum of social intelligence you would see right though Meghan's power and status seeking intentions and subsequent behavior.
If Meghan was deeply in love with Harry, she would have understood that marrying him means marrying into the British Royal family. This means that she would access skyrocketing level of privilege and access but she would also be operating within an imperial institution that played a large role in colonial expansion of the British Empire and racism. You can even see her be reasonably OK with playing the part of a princess and getting along with his family as an extension of her love for him. She would have married him, retired queitly into the English country side and had her children and we would see photos of them at polo events and in the occasional royal engagement she and Harry were assigned.
If we were truly a socially conscious bi-racial liberal woman who cherishes her heritage and wants to use her fame to make a difference, she would not have married Harry as he is the clearest and most obvious symbol of an archaic colonialist and racist institution. They would never make it past the first date! She would have dignity and values and walk away to find someone whose values align with hers.
However, Meghan did neither! She saw Harry as castles, tiaras, priviledge and access and status. She wanted to marry him because he was the highest status man and she wanted to be his wife and get her castle and jewels and tiaras and people bowing to her. The dirty history of his family was clearly NOT a deterrent. However, once she joined the institution and realized her dreams of aggrandizement through her marriage would be heavily controlled by his family members....she wanted out!!
Then she makes an escape plan and decides to land in Montecito and sell out his family and friends to make millions of dollars so she can now cosplay as a Princess in Montecito.
She is a cheap status seeking woman who is ready to sell anyone and everyone.
All of this, well said. She’s a low-taste cheap and grimy hustler who made it further than she could have imagined because she banged a moron on the sly at Soho House. Harry is almost unfathomably stupid, but Meghan is only brighter than he; the average poster here would not be snowed. Meghan quite obviously thought since Harry took every bit of her fake self at face value, that she could also convince more skeptical and intellectually capable people that she was not a low-skilled actress skanking out on her live-in boyfriend with their troubled idiot family member. No, Meghan was a skinny, hot, biracial Eleanor Roosevelt. Everyone who encountered her - family, staff, friends who became former friends fast - caught on to her false persona by the time they got engaged.
Let’s see how the jam does. I mean, spread. Sussex Spread will create equity and a seat at the table for strong female founders, right?
It’s crazy how these petty little haters go back and forth with each other. I mean this response is just nasty and sad. They sound like true Trumpers. And I don’t mean in a political sense, I’m using him as an example of how you can probably be living a great life, but instead of enjoying it and filling your brain with rainbows and roses, you spend your free time willingly creating nasty narratives about someone you don’t even and will never know. To say something like this, to use this language is so pathetic. You truly have to hate yourself and your life.
“Everyone who encountered her - family, staff, friends who became former friends fast - caught on to her false persona by the time they got engaged.” In what world would make you create this scenario in your head? You have got to be on anti-psychotics to dream this up. Folks might have said yeah I agree with some of the previous petty little posts, but this one is off the rails. This goes past just idle gossip on an anonymous message board. You’re rancid.
It is funny- i just saw Elon Musk on a video saying, “ It's the people pushing the propaganda that cause that guy to do it. Those are the real villains here. The ones providing the money, the ones pushing the lies and propaganda. We're going after them.” I have true anger toward him for dismantling the government, but he has a point about propaganda right now.
Taylor Swift fans, Trump fans, Tesla people, the sickness is the social media, not the people. You are still blaming the posters, but that isn’t the problem, it is the polarization of things and how easily the internet has trained us to become so quickly polarized that is the issue, not the people who “ must be on anti-psychotics to dream this up.”
Stop attacking the people behind the posts and understand that engaging in inflammatory discourse without reasoned argument or any sort of proof is the problem.
Anonymous wrote:Some people like Meghan, Hilaria and BL are just very big topics because of their ventures, lawsuits, scandals, their high profile...You could start threads about 95% of actors and actresses here and they would not have traction the way these few do. How many times can you say Nicole Kidman is a great actress who did too much botox, Halle Berry looks stunning, Scarjo was great on the today show? There needs to be "something" to gossip about, and that requires some degree of great exposure + controversy + negative opinions and disagreement.
In Meghan's case it goes beyond idle gossip, though. It's a level of hatred that borders on insanity. I mean, why get so worked up about a woman who married into another country's royal family? The OTT hatred is actually consistent with people knowing deep down that she really was treated horribly by the British royal family and press, but the haters just can't live with that cognitive dissonance so instead they go apesh!t on her. At least that's a psychologically coherent explanation, as opposed to the haters just being losers with too much pent-up rage and too much time on their hands....
Well, they claim it's because she "disrespected" that royal family but that doesn't make sense to me either because guess what! They aren't our royal family! I could give two shits if some C-list actress makes fun of curtsying to a dusty old crone who believed she was ordained by God to be better than other people.
Anonymous wrote:Some people like Meghan, Hilaria and BL are just very big topics because of their ventures, lawsuits, scandals, their high profile...You could start threads about 95% of actors and actresses here and they would not have traction the way these few do. How many times can you say Nicole Kidman is a great actress who did too much botox, Halle Berry looks stunning, Scarjo was great on the today show? There needs to be "something" to gossip about, and that requires some degree of great exposure + controversy + negative opinions and disagreement.
In Meghan's case it goes beyond idle gossip, though. It's a level of hatred that borders on insanity. I mean, why get so worked up about a woman who married into another country's royal family? The OTT hatred is actually consistent with people knowing deep down that she really was treated horribly by the British royal family and press, but the haters just can't live with that cognitive dissonance so instead they go apesh!t on her. At least that's a psychologically coherent explanation, as opposed to the haters just being losers with too much pent-up rage and too much time on their hands....
Well, they claim it's because she "disrespected" that royal family but that doesn't make sense to me either because guess what! They aren't our royal family! I could give two shits if some C-list actress makes fun of curtsying to a dusty old crone who believed she was ordained by God to be better than other people.
You can have your opinion, but the Queen was a deeply religious person who spent her life in service of her country. She could have walked away and just been a private citizen who was free to enjoy her immense wealth. I think it's important to recognize that.
Anonymous wrote:Some people like Meghan, Hilaria and BL are just very big topics because of their ventures, lawsuits, scandals, their high profile...You could start threads about 95% of actors and actresses here and they would not have traction the way these few do. How many times can you say Nicole Kidman is a great actress who did too much botox, Halle Berry looks stunning, Scarjo was great on the today show? There needs to be "something" to gossip about, and that requires some degree of great exposure + controversy + negative opinions and disagreement.
In Meghan's case it goes beyond idle gossip, though. It's a level of hatred that borders on insanity. I mean, why get so worked up about a woman who married into another country's royal family? The OTT hatred is actually consistent with people knowing deep down that she really was treated horribly by the British royal family and press, but the haters just can't live with that cognitive dissonance so instead they go apesh!t on her. At least that's a psychologically coherent explanation, as opposed to the haters just being losers with too much pent-up rage and too much time on their hands....
Well, they claim it's because she "disrespected" that royal family but that doesn't make sense to me either because guess what! They aren't our royal family! I could give two shits if some C-list actress makes fun of curtsying to a dusty old crone who believed she was ordained by God to be better than other people.
You can have your opinion, but the Queen was a deeply religious person who spent her life in service of her country. She could have walked away and just been a private citizen who was free to enjoy her immense wealth. I think it's important to recognize that.
It's really not. Other than military service, the royals' "service to their country" consists of going to pony shows and cutting ribbons. Even the "hard working" royals like Anne cut one ribbon a day, as opposed to William and Kate who use their kids to get out of shit. (and they were doing that before Kate had cancer.)
Meghan has made some missteps over the years and is far from perfect but the weird loyalty to the royals from (presumably, on a DC-based forum) Americans is so odd.
It could be one engagement a day, but these things aren't all in London. The Queen was commuting hours each way even in her 90s. Have a little respect.
Nobody is talking about the other royals, btw.
Have some respect for ribbon cutting? Ooh La La, such hard work. WTFFFF.
Anonymous wrote:Some people like Meghan, Hilaria and BL are just very big topics because of their ventures, lawsuits, scandals, their high profile...You could start threads about 95% of actors and actresses here and they would not have traction the way these few do. How many times can you say Nicole Kidman is a great actress who did too much botox, Halle Berry looks stunning, Scarjo was great on the today show? There needs to be "something" to gossip about, and that requires some degree of great exposure + controversy + negative opinions and disagreement.
In Meghan's case it goes beyond idle gossip, though. It's a level of hatred that borders on insanity. I mean, why get so worked up about a woman who married into another country's royal family? The OTT hatred is actually consistent with people knowing deep down that she really was treated horribly by the British royal family and press, but the haters just can't live with that cognitive dissonance so instead they go apesh!t on her. At least that's a psychologically coherent explanation, as opposed to the haters just being losers with too much pent-up rage and too much time on their hands....
Well, they claim it's because she "disrespected" that royal family but that doesn't make sense to me either because guess what! They aren't our royal family! I could give two shits if some C-list actress makes fun of curtsying to a dusty old crone who believed she was ordained by God to be better than other people.
People don’t like that she trashed her husband’s family on TV. I liked her before that, but as someone who is struggling with in law problems (both my brothers wife and my husband’s side) and working hard to preserve the peace, I can’t respect someone who acts like she did (he’s even worse but Harry is such a fool that he’s pathetic and not worth talking about).
Well you’re willing to eat shiit and take shiit to be accepted by your in-laws. Not everyone is cut from your pick-me cloth.
Anonymous wrote:Meghan is always going to be too much or not enough for middle aged women. It's because they envy her. Her husband gave up everything for her, he protects her and their kids, he is a family man, and he supports her independent projects. She is beautiful, educated, well spoken, has her own career and money and ALL of that was before she met Harry. Together they've most made each other better.
If you look at the women who loudly and proudly talk shit about Meghan... you can see why they are mad. Jealousy makes you ugly on the inside and outside... and the outside of these women is NOT pretty.
Giving up everything (your friends and family) is a red flag. This Hollywood drama isn't what makes a healthy happy marriage.
That said, I am sure plenty of people are jealous of her, and I agree she is stunning.
Babe going no contact because your family is toxic towards you and toxic towards your spouse and kids IS NOT a red flag it's actually the healthiest response. If my family turned the toxic British press on my husband to cover their shenanigans, I would absolutely take him, my kid and leave. Period.
Harry and Meghan did the right thing and certain people will never be over it. So sad for those who cannot live in reality and waste their time spewing hate towards a woman they'll never know and who doesn't know they exist.
Some of these women would've done more for their own lives if they had focused on the elections at home (presidential in the US and Brexit in the UK) and voted their interests. Instead they stay stalking a woman who is minding her own business. Sad.
It is NOT normal to cut your whole family and social circle off. Cutting off 1 person (looking at you, Prince Andrew) or going low contact, sure. But losing your entire social circle and family wouldn't be something most therapists would recommend.
Remember Catherine's black sheep uncle who eventually went on a reality show? Even he hasn't been cut off. It is very extreme to cut multiple family members and friends off, and any good therapist will tell you this. Unfortunately today people act like that is "normal."
Also what's with the "Babe" thing?
DP here.
It's healthy to cut off people who refuse to try and understand or communicate with you as an equal. It's healthy to cut people off when they don't respect your spouse or children. I don't think it's "normal" but the dysfunction in both Harry's family and in Meghan's dad's family is also not "normal" and if they feel they need distance in order to protect themselves and their kids, that's healthy.
I'll also note that Harry actually has not cut off his family. He still sees and is friendly with his cousins and multiple of his friends from pre-Meghan. He has also spoken to his dad. It's a very strained relationship. But it's not like Harry has totally cut these people out of his life forever. He's set boundaries. That's all.
This is a very popular opinion: to “cut off” family who don’t communicate with you as a perceived “equal”.
Unpopular opinion: I disagree and think sometimes maintaining contact on your own terms is best. I was the child of an abusive father and when I became an adult, I learned to structure my visits to my parents very carefully. I didn’t stay in their house, and would visit at the house for a quick meal or meet my parents at a restaurant while I stayed with friends or in a hotel.
This was hard because I was poor as a young adult, but we all made it work.
Harry and Meghan are not poor and could easily structure visits with the family on their own time and terms. They have opted to write a tell all book and try to make demands when they visit. Their version of boundaries hurt their families (both my keeping grandkids away from grandparents and cousins) and themselves rather than setting boundaries that help all. It is possible and healthier.
Why would you continuously put yourself both mentally and physically in the environment of someone who abused you. Sounds like some masochism psychosis that not everyone prescribed to or want to endure.
Anonymous wrote:Some people like Meghan, Hilaria and BL are just very big topics because of their ventures, lawsuits, scandals, their high profile...You could start threads about 95% of actors and actresses here and they would not have traction the way these few do. How many times can you say Nicole Kidman is a great actress who did too much botox, Halle Berry looks stunning, Scarjo was great on the today show? There needs to be "something" to gossip about, and that requires some degree of great exposure + controversy + negative opinions and disagreement.
In Meghan's case it goes beyond idle gossip, though. It's a level of hatred that borders on insanity. I mean, why get so worked up about a woman who married into another country's royal family? The OTT hatred is actually consistent with people knowing deep down that she really was treated horribly by the British royal family and press, but the haters just can't live with that cognitive dissonance so instead they go apesh!t on her. At least that's a psychologically coherent explanation, as opposed to the haters just being losers with too much pent-up rage and too much time on their hands....
Well, they claim it's because she "disrespected" that royal family but that doesn't make sense to me either because guess what! They aren't our royal family! I could give two shits if some C-list actress makes fun of curtsying to a dusty old crone who believed she was ordained by God to be better than other people.
You can have your opinion, but the Queen was a deeply religious person who spent her life in service of her country. She could have walked away and just been a private citizen who was free to enjoy her immense wealth. I think it's important to recognize that.
It's really not. Other than military service, the royals' "service to their country" consists of going to pony shows and cutting ribbons. Even the "hard working" royals like Anne cut one ribbon a day, as opposed to William and Kate who use their kids to get out of shit. (and they were doing that before Kate had cancer.)
Meghan has made some missteps over the years and is far from perfect but the weird loyalty to the royals from (presumably, on a DC-based forum) Americans is so odd.
Word. Meghan isn't perfect, but what is going on in the heads of American detractors who spend their days trashing her here and on the Daily Mail? Liking the Queen (as I do too) doesn't mean you have to believe the proven lie that Meghan "make Kate cry" or that the curtsy video was anything more than Meghan mocking herself. Or that William and Kate were fine to brief the press about how Kate was too frail to ever work egain, you monsters, at the same time that Kate was papped skiing in Switzerland. Or that William and Kate skipping BAFTAs for Mustique was A-OK. At least Charles is working a lot, and through what appears to be continuing cancer treatment, so respect there.
The problem is not that people have opinions of Meghan. The problem is the people who appoint themselves to police the opinions. It is absolutely not needed. If you don't like the opinions find something else to read.
Anonymous wrote:Meghan is always going to be too much or not enough for middle aged women. It's because they envy her. Her husband gave up everything for her, he protects her and their kids, he is a family man, and he supports her independent projects. She is beautiful, educated, well spoken, has her own career and money and ALL of that was before she met Harry. Together they've most made each other better.
If you look at the women who loudly and proudly talk shit about Meghan... you can see why they are mad. Jealousy makes you ugly on the inside and outside... and the outside of these women is NOT pretty.
Giving up everything (your friends and family) is a red flag. This Hollywood drama isn't what makes a healthy happy marriage.
That said, I am sure plenty of people are jealous of her, and I agree she is stunning.
Babe going no contact because your family is toxic towards you and toxic towards your spouse and kids IS NOT a red flag it's actually the healthiest response. If my family turned the toxic British press on my husband to cover their shenanigans, I would absolutely take him, my kid and leave. Period.
Harry and Meghan did the right thing and certain people will never be over it. So sad for those who cannot live in reality and waste their time spewing hate towards a woman they'll never know and who doesn't know they exist.
Some of these women would've done more for their own lives if they had focused on the elections at home (presidential in the US and Brexit in the UK) and voted their interests. Instead they stay stalking a woman who is minding her own business. Sad.
It is NOT normal to cut your whole family and social circle off. Cutting off 1 person (looking at you, Prince Andrew) or going low contact, sure. But losing your entire social circle and family wouldn't be something most therapists would recommend.
Remember Catherine's black sheep uncle who eventually went on a reality show? Even he hasn't been cut off. It is very extreme to cut multiple family members and friends off, and any good therapist will tell you this. Unfortunately today people act like that is "normal."
Also what's with the "Babe" thing?
DP here.
It's healthy to cut off people who refuse to try and understand or communicate with you as an equal. It's healthy to cut people off when they don't respect your spouse or children. I don't think it's "normal" but the dysfunction in both Harry's family and in Meghan's dad's family is also not "normal" and if they feel they need distance in order to protect themselves and their kids, that's healthy.
I'll also note that Harry actually has not cut off his family. He still sees and is friendly with his cousins and multiple of his friends from pre-Meghan. He has also spoken to his dad. It's a very strained relationship. But it's not like Harry has totally cut these people out of his life forever. He's set boundaries. That's all.
This is a very popular opinion: to “cut off” family who don’t communicate with you as a perceived “equal”.
Unpopular opinion: I disagree and think sometimes maintaining contact on your own terms is best. I was the child of an abusive father and when I became an adult, I learned to structure my visits to my parents very carefully. I didn’t stay in their house, and would visit at the house for a quick meal or meet my parents at a restaurant while I stayed with friends or in a hotel.
This was hard because I was poor as a young adult, but we all made it work.
Harry and Meghan are not poor and could easily structure visits with the family on their own time and terms. They have opted to write a tell all book and try to make demands when they visit. Their version of boundaries hurt their families (both my keeping grandkids away from grandparents and cousins) and themselves rather than setting boundaries that help all. It is possible and healthier.
Why would you continuously put yourself both mentally and physically in the environment of someone who abused you. Sounds like some masochism psychosis that not everyone prescribed to or want to endure.
But Meghan and Harry walked back the racism accusation against the royal family and Harry flat out denied in an interview that she had ever said some of his family members were racist.
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