Kids who dominate adult conversations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People need to relax and if they don’t want kids around find babysitters, or just don’t have children.

Oh I didn’t know the rule is no adult time if you have kids. Ever. Kids must be around and welcome 100% of the time.

Is it too late to return mine?

[Anonymous]

This has got to be one of the more bizarre threads on DCUM, and there have been many.

I would not have thought someone not wanting to spend the duration of a visit talking to a kid was so controversial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

Maybe they are "excellent conversationalists" now, with their schoolgroup. That's a far cry from being excellent conversationalists at, say, a state dinner, or at an elite college, or at a formal dinner with VIPs. If you want to prepare your kid to truly feel comfortable in every social situation, conversing with adults is a great way to do it.

And hey, it's important to remember that kids develop at different rates. Certain kids are happy to play with play-doh and play tag until they're 14. Certain kids can be having conversations about civil war history at 6. Some kids can do both. But there is no need to try to stifle a child's development, and, if you do- you might admit that parenting is not your forte.

My child can talk about many topics. DC can read about something and can remember all of it and discuss it thoroughly. It is impressive. DC is only 8 years old and has the vocabulary of many adults. If you don’t want to listen to my DC speak, you can leave. If you want to discuss “adult topics” my house, with my kids present, you are not welcome to do so. No one wants to discuss your silly sex life or other vacuous topics that you find so interesting.

You sound like so much fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

Maybe they are "excellent conversationalists" now, with their schoolgroup. That's a far cry from being excellent conversationalists at, say, a state dinner, or at an elite college, or at a formal dinner with VIPs. If you want to prepare your kid to truly feel comfortable in every social situation, conversing with adults is a great way to do it.

And hey, it's important to remember that kids develop at different rates. Certain kids are happy to play with play-doh and play tag until they're 14. Certain kids can be having conversations about civil war history at 6. Some kids can do both. But there is no need to try to stifle a child's development, and, if you do- you might admit that parenting is not your forte.

My child can talk about many topics. DC can read about something and can remember all of it and discuss it thoroughly. It is impressive. DC is only 8 years old and has the vocabulary of many adults. If you don’t want to listen to my DC speak, you can leave. If you want to discuss “adult topics” my house, with my kids present, you are not welcome to do so. No one wants to discuss your silly sex life or other vacuous topics that you find so interesting.

You sound like so much fun!

Doesn’t matter to her. She’s clearly ABOVE IT ALL. With a Little Einstein to boot. She has no need for fun.

[Anonymous]

I say a lot of things to my adult friends that I would never say to a child or teenager. I talk about politics, current events, my sex life, financials, health, education and a variety of topics. I would never relay my thoughts on coronavirus to an impressionable child. An adult may or may not agree with me but I would never want a parent to say i told their kid something they dont agree with. Im sure people would be upset if we told their elementary school kid that none of the stuff they are doing really matters in the grand scheme. We had this recently on our friend group. A nosey kid learned there was no Santa because adults were talking and she was hanging around. Her mom tried to say the adult who said it was kidding but the cat was out of the bag. This was a few weeks ago so no idea what will happen long term in our friend group. I hope the child got over it. I'm happy my kid who still believes in Santa was downstairs playing. I would never relay my thoughts on fidelity, marriage and sex to an impressionable child. An adult is different.

I've never enjoyed time with precocious children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say a lot of things to my adult friends that I would never say to a child or teenager. I talk about politics, current events, my sex life, financials, health, education and a variety of topics. I would never relay my thoughts on coronavirus to an impressionable child. An adult may or may not agree with me but I would never want a parent to say i told their kid something they dont agree with. Im sure people would be upset if we told their elementary school kid that none of the stuff they are doing really matters in the grand scheme. We had this recently on our friend group. A nosey kid learned there was no Santa because adults were talking and she was hanging around. Her mom tried to say the adult who said it was kidding but the cat was out of the bag. This was a few weeks ago so no idea what will happen long term in our friend group. I hope the child got over it. I'm happy my kid who still believes in Santa was downstairs playing. I would never relay my thoughts on fidelity, marriage and sex to an impressionable child. An adult is different.

I've never enjoyed time with precocious children.

My guess that not many people do. They’re usually annoying AF. But the parents think it’s cute.

[Anonymous]

I’m an older teacher and have seen the chatterbox center of attention child all grown up. You are not doing your DC a favor by letting them dominate an adult conversation. No one adores you like your dear mommy. Other people want to talk themselves and it’s an art to learn conversation skills.

A skill not being learned by interrupting mommy constantly and pushing into adult conversations. Those kids are usually lonely and confused as they get older (no matter how brilliant) because there is a give and take in conversation. Neither of the kids in the original OPs example sound like they would be well adjusted in school and beyond. The hilarious center of attention girl is exhausting and the boy is just rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the signs of a gifted child is the desire and ability to talk about mature topics with adults. OP don’t be envious because your child isn’t gifted, most people are not. What’s the saying....”It’s lonely at the top” and this applies to many of these kids who desire adult conversation. They are at least highly intelligent, so chances are their peers are unable to relate to them on many levels. We are so quick to judge and label kids, heck even adults, who don’t fit the mold. We shouldn’t stifle and discourage these types of precocious creative children, at least they have personalities unlike so many people these days. Kids like this have potential. Everyone wants to believe that their own child is intelligent, but it’s extremely frustrating when your child truly is gifted and a little quirky and constantly gets rejected by peers and adults alike. No, it’s really not a lack of social skills, it’s because the gifted chid doesn’t fit into the little box that you want them to fit into.

Maybe it because little smarty pants never shuts up about how smart he is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

Maybe they are "excellent conversationalists" now, with their schoolgroup. That's a far cry from being excellent conversationalists at, say, a state dinner, or at an elite college, or at a formal dinner with VIPs. If you want to prepare your kid to truly feel comfortable in every social situation, conversing with adults is a great way to do it.

And hey, it's important to remember that kids develop at different rates. Certain kids are happy to play with play-doh and play tag until they're 14. Certain kids can be having conversations about civil war history at 6. Some kids can do both. But there is no need to try to stifle a child's development, and, if you do- you might admit that parenting is not your forte.

My child can talk about many topics. DC can read about something and can remember all of it and discuss it thoroughly. It is impressive. DC is only 8 years old and has the vocabulary of many adults. If you don’t want to listen to my DC speak, you can leave. If you want to discuss “adult topics” my house, with my kids present, you are not welcome to do so. No one wants to discuss your silly sex life or other vacuous topics that you find so interesting.

Yup one right here. In a few years your 8 yo will be a lonely 13 yo.

[Anonymous]

This thread isn't a surprise. The DC area is full of socially awkward people who don't pick up on social cues and are not good conversationalists but are so clueless that they don't even realize how bad they are at these things. It's pretty clear that a lot of these people grew up being encouraged to interject in conversations where they are not wanted and dominate conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the age of the kids. For little kids, it is incredibly annoying. I don't mind if my 11 year old son's friends participate in adult conversations, since they know about current events etc. It's not as much fun as talking with just adults, but it is ok.

The child is in fourth grade. OP said this earlier in the thread.

[Anonymous]

OP here and I used one of the suggestions and came equipped with a little scavenger hunt for the kids and it worked brilliantly. I had my kids help come up with the list, and even the older child got involved. Adults had more time to have some kid-free talk. Thanks to PP with the suggestion. It also helped to have an activity that could be more inclusive for all the kids instead of leaving some kids out.

This thread kind of devolved into something else entirely that I didn't expect.... I'm not into ignoring kids. I don't think anyone was suggesting that. And I don't think just because your kid is a "genius" that means that everyone needs to cater to their intellect and include them in your conversations with subjects that interest them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

Maybe they are "excellent conversationalists" now, with their schoolgroup. That's a far cry from being excellent conversationalists at, say, a state dinner, or at an elite college, or at a formal dinner with VIPs. If you want to prepare your kid to truly feel comfortable in every social situation, conversing with adults is a great way to do it.

And hey, it's important to remember that kids develop at different rates. Certain kids are happy to play with play-doh and play tag until they're 14. Certain kids can be having conversations about civil war history at 6. Some kids can do both. But there is no need to try to stifle a child's development, and, if you do- you might admit that parenting is not your forte.

My child can talk about many topics. DC can read about something and can remember all of it and discuss it thoroughly. It is impressive. DC is only 8 years old and has the vocabulary of many adults. If you don’t want to listen to my DC speak, you can leave. If you want to discuss “adult topics” my house, with my kids present, you are not welcome to do so. No one wants to discuss your silly sex life or other vacuous topics that you find so interesting.

Yup one right here. In a few years your 8 yo will be a lonely 13 yo.

And that awkward child as an adult will be operating on your diseased brain or finding a new treatments for cancer, while your DC will be sitting in a cubicle or playing Fortnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

Maybe they are "excellent conversationalists" now, with their schoolgroup. That's a far cry from being excellent conversationalists at, say, a state dinner, or at an elite college, or at a formal dinner with VIPs. If you want to prepare your kid to truly feel comfortable in every social situation, conversing with adults is a great way to do it.

And hey, it's important to remember that kids develop at different rates. Certain kids are happy to play with play-doh and play tag until they're 14. Certain kids can be having conversations about civil war history at 6. Some kids can do both. But there is no need to try to stifle a child's development, and, if you do- you might admit that parenting is not your forte.

My child can talk about many topics. DC can read about something and can remember all of it and discuss it thoroughly. It is impressive. DC is only 8 years old and has the vocabulary of many adults. If you don’t want to listen to my DC speak, you can leave. If you want to discuss “adult topics” my house, with my kids present, you are not welcome to do so. No one wants to discuss your silly sex life or other vacuous topics that you find so interesting.

Yup one right here. In a few years your 8 yo will be a lonely 13 yo.

And that awkward child as an adult will be operating on your diseased brain or finding a new treatments for cancer, while your DC will be sitting in a cubicle or playing Fortnight.

DP. Oh please. That awkward child is just as likely, if not more so, of becoming the weird guy in the office who seems smart but doesn't know how to interact with his colleagues or clients and doesn't have the EQ to rise up through the ranks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I used one of the suggestions and came equipped with a little scavenger hunt for the kids and it worked brilliantly. I had my kids help come up with the list, and even the older child got involved. Adults had more time to have some kid-free talk. Thanks to PP with the suggestion. It also helped to have an activity that could be more inclusive for all the kids instead of leaving some kids out.

This thread kind of devolved into something else entirely that I didn't expect.... I'm not into ignoring kids. I don't think anyone was suggesting that. And I don't think just because your kid is a "genius" that means that everyone needs to cater to their intellect and include them in your conversations with subjects that interest them.

Crazy comes out between p7-10. Never fails.

I’m glad you took sound advice and the kids ans adults enjoyed time together.