Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be black

Then why is the % of black students at Harvard and other Ivies only 5%, if it's so easy for black kids to be admitted?

In contrast, Asian kids are 14% of Harvard's student body. White kids are 44%. So it seems the answer should be, "be white."

https://datausa.io/profile/university/harvard-university

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black

Then why is the % of black students at Harvard and other Ivies only 5%, if it's so easy for black kids to be admitted?

In contrast, Asian kids are 14% of Harvard's student body. White kids are 44%. So it seems the answer should be, "be white."

https://datausa.io/profile/university/harvard-university

The answer is be white and well connected. Anyone saying "be black" is a complete idiot and knows nothing about this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black

Then why is the % of black students at Harvard and other Ivies only 5%, if it's so easy for black kids to be admitted?

In contrast, Asian kids are 14% of Harvard's student body. White kids are 44%. So it seems the answer should be, "be white."

https://datausa.io/profile/university/harvard-university

The answer is be white and well connected. Anyone saying "be black" is a complete idiot and knows nothing about this topic.

PP, agree with your clarification.

[Anonymous]

You all are crazy

[Anonymous]

Ivy League schools are for future leaders and students who value networking and creativity. I never understood why some people are so intent on getting into an Ivy League school and then desire to sit in front of a computer and write code for the next 20 years. There are schools for that and they aren't in the Ivy League.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black

Then why is the % of black students at Harvard and other Ivies only 5%, if it's so easy for black kids to be admitted?

In contrast, Asian kids are 14% of Harvard's student body. White kids are 44%. So it seems the answer should be, "be white."

https://datausa.io/profile/university/harvard-university

The answer is be white and well connected. Anyone saying "be black" is a complete idiot and knows nothing about this topic.

Exactly! White, rich and well connected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black

Then why is the % of black students at Harvard and other Ivies only 5%, if it's so easy for black kids to be admitted?

In contrast, Asian kids are 14% of Harvard's student body. White kids are 44%. So it seems the answer should be, "be white."

https://datausa.io/profile/university/harvard-university

The answer is be white and well connected. Anyone saying "be black" is a complete idiot and knows nothing about this topic.

Exactly! White, rich and well connected.

Fine. Who CARES! Why waste your time arguing about this stuff???

[Anonymous]

We insisted on only the best for our one and only son. Harvard Yale Princeton Stanford MIT were the only options we allowed. Well he got in. But after tens of thousands of dollars treating anxiety and depression he flamed out and is now not speaking with us. Seeking the best for our only has not been worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We insisted on only the best for our one and only son. Harvard Yale Princeton Stanford MIT were the only options we allowed. Well he got in. But after tens of thousands of dollars treating anxiety and depression he flamed out and is now not speaking with us. Seeking the best for our only has not been worth it.

Seriously! 14 pages of people arguing and every single one of you is missing the big picture: it’s NOT worth it. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We insisted on only the best for our one and only son. Harvard Yale Princeton Stanford MIT were the only options we allowed. Well he got in. But after tens of thousands of dollars treating anxiety and depression he flamed out and is now not speaking with us. Seeking the best for our only has not been worth it.

I feel badly for your kid, but your story is anecdotal.

FWIW, I'm not pushing my pretty smart, magnet kid for HYP, but there's no reason why others shouldn't reach for that if they want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

That’s what the study done on Harvard’s African American graduates show. Harvard URMs don’t do well even with a Harvard degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

That’s what the study done on Harvard’s African American graduates show. Harvard URMs don’t do well even with a Harvard degree.

No, that's your interpretation. Another one is that institutional racism is so pervasive, that even a Harvard degree doesn't complete mitigate it. Black and Latino kids with a Harvard degree in hand on average have better outcomes and more doors opened than their POC counterparts who attended Podunk College. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

That’s what the study done on Harvard’s African American graduates show. Harvard URMs don’t do well even with a Harvard degree.

No, that's your interpretation. Another one is that institutional racism is so pervasive, that even a Harvard degree doesn't complete mitigate it. Black and Latino kids with a Harvard degree in hand on average have better outcomes and more doors opened than their POC counterparts who attended Podunk College. Ask me how I know.

That’s why we need affirmative action in the work place from cradle to the grave. It’s the price of reparation that must be paid. For life.