Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely would if you could convince him. You want your kids to always be #1 in his life. Or at least 2 & 3 if he’s the type to place a new woman over his kids.

You people are truly, truly sick.

Hi, New Woman!

Try again. I’ve been cheated on and my ex got the woman pregnant. I’m just not a sick psychopath.

Well, you obviously didn’t learn from the experience. If your ex had a vasectomy, you would have been dealing with cheating instead of cheating AND a pregnancy.

No PP just thinks its morally wrong to try to control someone else's fertility. His body - his choice.

Now if you want to scare him OP- remind him if he has kids with another woman he won't be able to retire until that kid is out of college.

Those guys don’t pay for college. They just roll onto the next woman dumb enough to believe the ex is why her new man doesn’t see or support his kids.

This is so true. Good luck trying to make him help with college. Virtually impossible, plus he can go back to court anytime after the divorce.

I would get the life insurance and own the policy in case he dies. That way the kids are always protected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^And, of course, if you can ask him to get a vasectomy he can ask you to get your tubes tied.

I would say that would be fair!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^And, of course, if you can ask him to get a vasectomy he can ask you to get your tubes tied.

I would say that would be fair!

Realistically, how many women go on to have additional children with a new spouse and then ask for additional CS on the grounds they have more mouths to feed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.

I don't have a problem with it, so long as nobody is being deceptive. If OP says to the guy, "Hey, I'm likely to leave you, and I'd like you to get a vasectomy before I do," then no problem, all adults.

She doesn't need to be. They have their family, neither should have more kids.

They both could agree to get sterilized to protect that family, what more should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.

No and no.

Yes. Second marriages fail around 67-70%. Now how many of those 30% that stay married are unhappy?

I know few women in 2nd marriage that are really satisfied. Often a mess because of steps, exes, ex in-laws, and current in-laws.

OP unless it's abuse I'd look at every angle.

If you’re miserable married, choose to raise the kids outside a miserable married household. They’d probably appreciate it. Mine was grateful for the distance from the insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.

No and no.

Yes. Second marriages fail around 67-70%. Now how many of those 30% that stay married are unhappy?

I know few women in 2nd marriage that are really satisfied. Often a mess because of steps, exes, ex in-laws, and current in-laws.

OP unless it's abuse I'd look at every angle.

If you’re miserable married, choose to raise the kids outside a miserable married household. They’d probably appreciate it. Mine was grateful for the distance from the insanity.

Yes and don't have kids with new partners. The kids will really be grateful for that too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^And, of course, if you can ask him to get a vasectomy he can ask you to get your tubes tied.

I would say that would be fair!

Realistically, how many women go on to have additional children with a new spouse and then ask for additional CS on the grounds they have more mouths to feed?

Especially after 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.

No and no.

Yes. Second marriages fail around 67-70%. Now how many of those 30% that stay married are unhappy?

I know few women in 2nd marriage that are really satisfied. Often a mess because of steps, exes, ex in-laws, and current in-laws.

OP unless it's abuse I'd look at every angle.

If you’re miserable married, choose to raise the kids outside a miserable married household. They’d probably appreciate it. Mine was grateful for the distance from the insanity.

Yes and don't have kids with new partners. The kids will really be grateful for that too!

Where do you make up this shit? What, you stayed put in a loveless marriage and you need other people to do the same to validate your decision? No! Be happy with someone new. Be happy alone. Fix your marriage and be happy. Don’t be a martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.

No and no.

Yes. Second marriages fail around 67-70%. Now how many of those 30% that stay married are unhappy?

I know few women in 2nd marriage that are really satisfied. Often a mess because of steps, exes, ex in-laws, and current in-laws.

OP unless it's abuse I'd look at every angle.

If you’re miserable married, choose to raise the kids outside a miserable married household. They’d probably appreciate it. Mine was grateful for the distance from the insanity.

Yes and don't have kids with new partners. The kids will really be grateful for that too!

Where do you make up this shit? What, you stayed put in a loveless marriage and you need other people to do the same to validate your decision? No! Be happy with someone new. Be happy alone. Fix your marriage and be happy. Don’t be a martyr.

Why not just live him for him.

Why do you need some old guy who is done with having kids get you pregnant?

You sound like a leach.

[Anonymous]

I can’t read all 14 pages, but has a Bobbitt joke come up yet?

[Anonymous]

^^^ love

[Anonymous]

For a lot of second wives, it’s an equalizer baby. I’m a second wife. So are many of my friends. They jump through hoops to try to have a couple of kids if the first wife has kids. One told me I was a fool to not squeeze in at least one kid with DH. What fool takes money out of their stepkids’ mouths to be on equal footing with his ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t read all 14 pages, but has a Bobbitt joke come up yet?

Nope. You’re the first.

Also, you should watch the HBO documentary. Your comment really missed the mark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a lot of second wives, it’s an equalizer baby. I’m a second wife. So are many of my friends. They jump through hoops to try to have a couple of kids if the first wife has kids. One told me I was a fool to not squeeze in at least one kid with DH. What fool takes money out of their stepkids’ mouths to be on equal footing with his ex?

Someone who wants their own child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a lot of second wives, it’s an equalizer baby. I’m a second wife. So are many of my friends. They jump through hoops to try to have a couple of kids if the first wife has kids. One told me I was a fool to not squeeze in at least one kid with DH. What fool takes money out of their stepkids’ mouths to be on equal footing with his ex?

Someone who wants their own child?

They have their own kids with their first husband.