If you’ve considered suicide, what keeps you from doing it?
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Anonymous
But change (in supports, resources, environment, options) is a constant in life. Nothing is entirely static. One problem could be, but the person should seek therapy to perceive it differently, find options they have not considered , etc. |
Anonymous
How are you worthless if a family depends on you to function? You are raising kids, which is the most important job there is. Please seek therapy to help you understand your worth. |
Anonymous
| I'm considering it. Hate to give up though. |
Anonymous
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My kid, now.
Before, it was guilt about how it would impact others. I had a close family member attempt suicide when I was a teenager and it had horrible impacts on the whole family even though they didn’t die. Thinking about that has always kept me from getting too far down that mental path because even when it feels like the only way out for me I could not do it if it would mess things up seriously for others. I have had moments in my life where I’ve though that my loved ones would be better if without me. But living through a suicide attempt by someone close to me has helped me realize that even if that were true, there is no painless way to exit life. You might as well stay and try to make it better. This is really the only reasonable answer for anyone who is able bodied and reasonably functional— give it a go. It sucks but you owe it to others to try because they are trying for you in some way. |
Anonymous
| A lot of the reasons others listed…I know it would hurt others: my kids, my husband, my siblings, my parents. But also it’s the fact that I don’t think anyone would ever really understand why I did it and I hate to think that everyone I know would make up reasons for me/make assumptions about it. I would hate for my kids and my spouse to have to go through the rest of their lives telling ppl their mother/wife died by suicide and to have the ppl they tell judge them/me for it or make assumptions about our family bc of it or say something that makes my kids/husband feel like it was in any way their fault. I would hate for my parents’ friends to ask my parents what could have led to this and have my parents make up reasons/speak for me when they actually have no clue what I’m going through and have never shown any interest in my life. |
Anonymous
| I have only considered it (no plan though) at times when my chronic illness had a flare that was few years with no end in sight. This is why it’s very upsetting for me to hear people mock things like long Covid - they don’t understand how miserable life is when you can’t participate in it. That said - what really keeps me going is my husband and kids. |
Anonymous
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I’ve attempted suicide many times and even today wished I could do it. I have two kids and I don’t want them to lose their mom, so I haven’t attempted suicide since they were born. |
Anonymous
| When I went through a really rough period in college, it was a TV show. If I just made it to Friday, I got to see the next episode. Silly but I don't know if I would have made it through my sophomore year without it |
Anonymous
a psychiatrist told me that the absolute worst thing you can do to your kids is to kill yourself. really, the only thought that keeps me alive. |
Anonymous
I have thought of this too. Very specifically, I think about how my abuser would respond. I know they would say "see, she was crazy all along" and paint themselves as a victim. Just thinking about it makes me angry because that relationship is absolutely what pushed me towards suicidal thoughts more than anything else. Sometimes I feel like I am living just to spite that person and I don't think that's the worst thing. |
Anonymous
Hi, I hope you aren’t done reading today. I just wanted to say that I heard what you said and I’m sorry you are feeling in this kind of pain today. I have been there many times myself and have attempted suicide more than once. Most days I’m glad I wasn’t successful but some days I wish I had been. I struggled for a lot of years with the idea that I needed to get past this and be cured, but I’ve come to understand that some of us just struggle with this and while it can come and go sometimes for months or years at a time, it will likely come back so I have to have a plan in mind for how to cope with the feelings. Did you know that the suicidal impulse usually lasts only 1-10 minutes? Suicidologists have studied the phenomenon and found that while ideation can last for weeks or months at a time, the impulse to follow through is often very short lived. The trick is to survive this time. Although I was raised around firearms and feel comfortable using them, I haven’t kept one in my home for years because I know this is a particularly lethal means that I don’t want to have at close hand should I feel the impulse. I’ve also developed various techniques to help me get through days or hours when I’m feeling strongly that I should exit the pain that life often brings. If you are feeling that way today, please reach out. To someone, anyone. You don’t have to talk about it, but if you want to you could call 988 and speak to someone who has been there or who is at least trained in the right things to say. Sometimes we just need to get outside our head which can become an echo chamber of negative thoughts that reinforces our feeling we are worthless. But you are not worthless. Somebody in this world cares about you and you have made their life better. I know you might not feel that way today, but I promise you it is true. Last week I watched a really good documentary on PBS called Facing Suicide. Please think about watching this, I think you might find it helps to know how very much you are not alone. https://pbs.org/show/facing-suicide?source=social |
Anonymous
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I just wanted to say that while I think it’s okay if people consider family and friends and that is what keeps them from committing suicide, please have compassion in your hearts for those who do suicide. It troubles me that so often people say suicide is such a selfish decision - suicidal people are so emotionally anguished that they truly believe that the people they love would be better off without them. They don’t want to hurt anyone by taking their lives - they just want to get the emotional pain to stop. And in some cases, that emotional pain is accompanied by physical pain and disability as well which contributes to their feeling that they are a burden rather than a blessing to their loved ones.
We all need to learn ways to really talk about mental health challenges with each other. We need to learn to ask the question clearly and without equivocation- are you feeling like life isn’t worth living anymore? Are you thinking about hurting yourself? Research has established that so often it’s true loved ones don’t see it coming, because depression hides and so does suicidal ideation. We can’t talk around it. We are in a crisis of suicide especially among our kids. Asking someone if they are suicidal doesn’t lead to them becoming suicidal, so it is better to ask than not to ask. Most often people just need to get through the crisis point and get working on coping strategies. The best way we can help each other is by learning to communicate openly. The suicide helpline is now 988, easy to remember. It’s for people in suicidal crisis, but it is also for the loved ones of people in crisis. Don’t be afraid to call and learn how you can help. |
Anonymous
| Another 10 years and I probably will give up. |
Anonymous
It is definitely a positive that you are concerned about your kids and use that concern as a means to hang on. But living by the skin of your teeth isn’t setting the best example especially if you are existing in survival mode and struggling to feel joyful. Do you have the ability to access therapy? I know the waiting lists are long so even if you do that doesn’t mean you can find someone to work with. If you are struggling with ideation please explore ways to moderate your moods. I hate the title but the book DBT for Dummies teaches how to use mindfulness to endure the most difficult feelings we can struggle with. I wish you to be well enough to feel some joy now and again - even if it’s just in the beauty of nature, a good place to nurture mental health. |
Anonymous
That’s the safety valve I’ve been using myself recently. I have a wonderful dog that is 4, so I figure that gets me to just beyond her likely end. My focus is to try to keep ideation at bay in the meantime. I’m directing my energy to giving her the best life I can which should also mean me taking better care of myself, because her best life includes lots of walks and outings to exciting nature settings like the beach! And I’m keeping permission on the table for deciding in ten years that I’d like to stick around another 5-10. |