Stay at home Dad: My kids not accepted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you're on to something here, PP, maybe SAHD has been trying to unload some Stella and Dot and is unaware that is a death blow

OP

Maybe I should switch to MK?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not forbidden from hanging out with other men. I just have a lot of friends already- I'm not looking for new ones and I don't want to hang out with your husband, no matter how tremendous you think he is. Why that bothers you so much is fascinating to me. He couldn't make it in the workplace now he can't make it in the land of SAHP and it really seems to stick in your craw, huh? I succeeded in both arenas and my husband didn't have to help me or shove other parents down my throat, so maybe we are just fundamentally different.

OP

Because it's such a ridiculous post.... which SAHD are we talking about here, me or PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these people with marriage boundaries where they are forbidden from being alone with men, are also not allowed to drive? Are you chaperoned? Do you have your own money?

I'm not forbidden from hanging out with other men. I just have a lot of friends already- I'm not looking for new ones and I don't want to hang out with your husband, no matter how tremendous you think he is. Why that bothers you so much is fascinating to me. He couldn't make it in the workplace now he can't make it in the land of SAHP and it really seems to stick in your craw, huh? I succeeded in both arenas and my husband didn't have to help me or shove other parents down my throat, so maybe we are just fundamentally different.

On a related note what is this common refrain about not looking for any 'new friends'? Is there like a limit on your phone? I mean if you are free and they are free who doesn't like making a new friend? Unless they are selling you jewelry or what not, yeah that would be evil

Not a limit on my phone…..a limit on my time. There are truly only so many hours in a day/week, and the beauty of being a SAHP is that I get to craft my life as I like it. I don't want to come make small nonsense chit chat with your husband who I don't know. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these people with marriage boundaries where they are forbidden from being alone with men, are also not allowed to drive? Are you chaperoned? Do you have your own money?

I'm not forbidden from hanging out with other men. I just have a lot of friends already- I'm not looking for new ones and I don't want to hang out with your husband, no matter how tremendous you think he is. Why that bothers you so much is fascinating to me. He couldn't make it in the workplace now he can't make it in the land of SAHP and it really seems to stick in your craw, huh? I succeeded in both arenas and my husband didn't have to help me or shove other parents down my throat, so maybe we are just fundamentally different.

On a related note what is this common refrain about not looking for any 'new friends'? Is there like a limit on your phone? I mean if you are free and they are free who doesn't like making a new friend? Unless they are selling you jewelry or what not, yeah that would be evil

I am looking for new friends and I still wouldn't go out of my way to make friends with a man.

That's too bad. You are missing out. I've had lots of good male friends in my life and those friendships have been just as valuable as my female friendships, albeit in a different way.

Actually, all my friends have always been men. I simply no longer feel that’s appropriate.

I understand now why you are looking for new friends. I'm glad I didn't have to give up any of my friends when I got married.

My male friends drifted away because they understand boundaries. I'm still not sure why you insist no one can have any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these people with marriage boundaries where they are forbidden from being alone with men, are also not allowed to drive? Are you chaperoned? Do you have your own money?

I'm not forbidden from hanging out with other men. I just have a lot of friends already- I'm not looking for new ones and I don't want to hang out with your husband, no matter how tremendous you think he is. Why that bothers you so much is fascinating to me. He couldn't make it in the workplace now he can't make it in the land of SAHP and it really seems to stick in your craw, huh? I succeeded in both arenas and my husband didn't have to help me or shove other parents down my throat, so maybe we are just fundamentally different.

On a related note what is this common refrain about not looking for any 'new friends'? Is there like a limit on your phone? I mean if you are free and they are free who doesn't like making a new friend? Unless they are selling you jewelry or what not, yeah that would be evil

I am looking for new friends and I still wouldn't go out of my way to make friends with a man.

That's too bad. You are missing out. I've had lots of good male friends in my life and those friendships have been just as valuable as my female friendships, albeit in a different way.

Actually, all my friends have always been men. I simply no longer feel that’s appropriate.

I understand now why you are looking for new friends. I'm glad I didn't have to give up any of my friends when I got married.

My male friends drifted away because they understand boundaries. I'm still not sure why you insist no one can have any.

My male friends drifted away in the same manner I guess- most of them - perhaps all of them- were work friends as I worked in a male dominated industry. When I left to raise my kids we kept in touch via Facebook or the occasional golf outing, but we don't meet up individually. My husband and I go out on weekends with our friends and their husbands all the time- but I don't get together with their husbands for lunch - call it the 50's of you like but when I've gotten together with a man alone it's been on the golf course or to talk business at lunch- not alone in their kitchen. Sorry mommy. Maybe you should wonder why people don't want to have your husband over? Could he be putting off a weird vibe? Could their husband not want him over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these people with marriage boundaries where they are forbidden from being alone with men, are also not allowed to drive? Are you chaperoned? Do you have your own money?

I'm not forbidden from hanging out with other men. I just have a lot of friends already- I'm not looking for new ones and I don't want to hang out with your husband, no matter how tremendous you think he is. Why that bothers you so much is fascinating to me. He couldn't make it in the workplace now he can't make it in the land of SAHP and it really seems to stick in your craw, huh? I succeeded in both arenas and my husband didn't have to help me or shove other parents down my throat, so maybe we are just fundamentally different.

On a related note what is this common refrain about not looking for any 'new friends'? Is there like a limit on your phone? I mean if you are free and they are free who doesn't like making a new friend? Unless they are selling you jewelry or what not, yeah that would be evil

I am looking for new friends and I still wouldn't go out of my way to make friends with a man.

That's too bad. You are missing out. I've had lots of good male friends in my life and those friendships have been just as valuable as my female friendships, albeit in a different way.

Actually, all my friends have always been men. I simply no longer feel that’s appropriate.

I understand now why you are looking for new friends. I'm glad I didn't have to give up any of my friends when I got married.

My male friends drifted away because they understand boundaries. I'm still not sure why you insist no one can have any.

My male friends drifted away in the same manner I guess- most of them - perhaps all of them- were work friends as I worked in a male dominated industry. When I left to raise my kids we kept in touch via Facebook or the occasional golf outing, but we don't meet up individually. My husband and I go out on weekends with our friends and their husbands all the time- but I don't get together with their husbands for lunch - call it the 50's of you like but when I've gotten together with a man alone it's been on the golf course or to talk business at lunch- not alone in their kitchen. Sorry mommy. Maybe you should wonder why people don't want to have your husband over? Could he be putting off a weird vibe? Could their husband not want him over?

There are a bunch of posters in this particular thread, so it's not clear who the "mommy" is that the most recent PP is referring to but anyway... I can understand not continuing a friendship with a male friend once you were married if you had previously dated the guy, or if there had been some romantic feelings between the two of you at some point. But barring that situation, I don't necessarily see why a married woman could not be friends with a man and be alone with him socially. Maybe I am of a different generation or upbringing than you, but I just don't see the big deal. But regardless, this thread is not about random social situations like what you are talking about -- it is specifically about play dates with another parent's child. We aren't talking about going to a man's house simply to chat or have lunch. You are going there with your kid(s) and the purpose of the visit is to allow your kids to play together. And I think you answered your own question about why some mothers might not want play dates with OP -- you have admitted you don't want to be alone with a man who isn't your husband and there is at least one other poster of the same opinion as you on this thread. I am also guessing that your husbands likely share your opinion that such interactions between men and women are inappropriate, so it very well could be that OP is not invited to play dates at other parents' houses not because of his personality, but simply because he's a man. I think it's ridiculous that in 2015 this is an issue, but apparently it is.