Love my wife, but she's getting seriously fat....

[Anonymous]

Ok dude, I am not going to read the whole thread. I lost my baby weight within one week of my first, six weeks of my second but the third took two years. I could not lose an ounce while breast feeding. I ate 1000 calories a day, exercised an hour every day and lost about 2 pounds per month. It was brutal hard. If my husband had said one word I would have been furious. Even after I lost the weight keeping it off was really hard. I hiked 6 miles 3-4 times a week, worked out with weights 3x per week and still could easily put on five pounds in a couple of weeks if I was not super careful.

Leave her alone. She will remember if you are unkind. It can be really hard to lose and keep off the weight.

[Anonymous]

Look people. I come from a country where the average person consumes 1000cal a day. This is men and women. Women are a bit lower. Not a single person is fat. NOT ONE. The second we get outside of our culture and get access to more food we start to look like said culture., which is fat. Being thin is not a genetic thing where I'm from, it's a caloric consumption thing. Being fat is actually attractive because is denotes wealth and access to food.

I'm sorry, nobody and I mean nobody is consistently eating only 1000cal a day and not losing weight. Furthermore the women from where I am from breastfeed. Every single one of them or their babies die.

I'd love to see some of these women who claim to be unable to lose weight eating a low calorie diet and come back home with me for 3 months. TRULY being calorie deprived (not just in your colorful imagination ) will show you how fast you will lose fat. After week ONE your pants will be baggy, after week 3 they will be falling off. After week 4 your stomach won't hurt so bad due to hunger.

[Anonymous]

Man here,

My exwife was 5'5 200 lbs when we met. I'd never dated someone overweight before, but she was perfect to me. Anyway, she gained a LOT during the pregnancy and a year later she was around 300. I no longer found her attractive, so getting it up for sex was really difficult. She eventually picked up on it and saw through my attempts to lie about it to spare her feelings. It never got better. If you do mention it, be prepared for the fallout. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

Actually, weight loss is 80% diet, and only 20% exercise.
So you can lose weight perfectly well while sitting on your ass.
Just control the diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

My husband was deployed and I worked full time when my baby was born. I'm glad you apparently had a spouse, no job, and tons of free time to exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

My husband was deployed and I worked full time when my baby was born. I'm glad you apparently had a spouse, no job, and tons of free time to exercise.

Because having a deployed husband is standard.

I know losing weight is hard. I also work FT and don't have a deployed DH, but did have one with a commute that started at 5am. For a solid year it was me and my insanity/p90x videos and 5:30am in the basement. Now my DH has a normal commute and we do every other morning each at the gym and inbetween the videos. I spend a good chunk of time Sundays meal planning.

Nothing is impossible. The first step is to abandon excuse making. Or stop posting of you are fat and happy about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

My husband was deployed and I worked full time when my baby was born. I'm glad you apparently had a spouse, no job, and tons of free time to exercise.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

My husband was deployed and I worked full time when my baby was born. I'm glad you apparently had a spouse, no job, and tons of free time to exercise.

Because having a deployed husband is standard.

I know losing weight is hard. I also work FT and don't have a deployed DH, but did have one with a commute that started at 5am. For a solid year it was me and my insanity/p90x videos and 5:30am in the basement. Now my DH has a normal commute and we do every other morning each at the gym and inbetween the videos. I spend a good chunk of time Sundays meal planning.

Nothing is impossible. The first step is to abandon excuse making. Or stop posting of you are fat and happy about it.

So you gave up leisure time, pursuing friendships and volunteering so you could lose weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

My husband was deployed and I worked full time when my baby was born. I'm glad you apparently had a spouse, no job, and tons of free time to exercise.

Because having a deployed husband is standard.

I know losing weight is hard. I also work FT and don't have a deployed DH, but did have one with a commute that started at 5am. For a solid year it was me and my insanity/p90x videos and 5:30am in the basement. Now my DH has a normal commute and we do every other morning each at the gym and inbetween the videos. I spend a good chunk of time Sundays meal planning.

Nothing is impossible. The first step is to abandon excuse making. Or stop posting of you are fat and happy about it.

Who cares if it's standard? It was my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If all these obesity defenders would just admit that if they spent 10% of the time exercising as they currently do on social media and the internet, they would be fine, at least it would indicate they are not completely delusional.

It's easier to be on the internet during working hours than run 2 miles without your boss noticing. You can't seriously be this stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to judge your wife's weight for the first year after birth. You just don't. So man up, love her for who she is and the fact that she birthed your child, and wait it out.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 5 months post-partum...

No. WE aren't.

5 months... REALLY?

OP appreciate the fact that you are being honest. The last thing you should be doing to this beautiful woman is bring her self esteem down. Women's bodies take a hit during pregnancy and it takes at least 1-2 years to start getting back to normal. In many ways she has sacrificed herself so you both can enjoy a child & build a family. Love her for who she is , unconditionally and it will motivate her to be her best.

Ummmmm....no, it does not.

It depends on the mother's age. Did you have a child after age 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other things to consider:
1. Do you regularly watch the child in the evening so that she can go for a walk? to the gym?

2. If you do watch the child so that she can go to the gym, is the gym the only place she is ever allowed to go without the child? (That was my case at one point: Hubby would watch the baby so I could go to the gym, but it never occurred to him that I might at some point want to have a cup of coffee, go to a movie without the baby, etc. Going to the gym started to feel a bit like being let out on parole.)

3. How much time do you watch the baby on the weekend so that she can go for a nice walk and enjoy the fall weather, etc?

4. It's really hard to lose weight when your body isn't getting enough sleep. Are you waking up with the baby at least half the time?

5. You mentioned ice cream. It sounds like maybe she's too tired and beat at the end of the day to make herself a healthy treat. Do you ever buy the groceries? Do you ever prepare food? Why don't you help by buying nice fresh fruit and slicing it up so it's available in the refrigerator for all of you to eat? Go on pinterest and read about how to make packages of frozen fruit so all you need to do is throw it in the blender to make a smoothie.

6. Offer to help more -- with laundry, cleaning, etc. I ate a lot when I was angry and resentful because I got no help with the new baby. If your wife is eating her feelings, you need to stop and consider what those feelings might be.

OMG yes, I know this thread is off the rails now but I didn't realize how badly this would effect me after baby, esp since I was in my 30s. I ALWAYS had to diet/ try to stay thin and as a result I did yo yo a bit too much in my 20s but it was not always feasible to be at my skinny weight if I wanted to, you know, live my life.

But the not being able to sleep for almost a year- that was the killer I think for me. I didn't get bigger but nothing came off at all really despite having to walk for miles and miles because kid would only sleep on walks! Until I weaned and STTN, which wasn't 5 months for sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her height and weight? before and after?

5'1" - 150
" " - 185

And what is your expectation? To get to 150?

How do you know what she weighs, or are you guessing, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 5 months post-partum...

No. WE aren't.

5 months... REALLY?

OP appreciate the fact that you are being honest. The last thing you should be doing to this beautiful woman is bring her self esteem down. Women's bodies take a hit during pregnancy and it takes at least 1-2 years to start getting back to normal. In many ways she has sacrificed herself so you both can enjoy a child & build a family. Love her for who she is , unconditionally and it will motivate her to be her best.

No it doesn't take 1-2 years. It only does in America where people have very poor diets.

It must be nice to live in a place like Okinawa, where people don't have all that much money, but lots of time to walk and prepare very simple meals with the same basic ingredients, day after day. Not.