Why Asian American kids excel. It’s not ‘Tiger Moms.’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Interestingly, no. Parents don't put children first. Asian cultures tend to elevate elders -- which means that children are pretty low on the totem pole. That's why their individual happiness doesn't matter as much as "making the family proud" and pursuing a prestige career.

Western cultures tend to be child-focused. Asian cultures tend to be elder-focused. An interesting activity is to ask your Western and Asian friends who they would save if they were in a capsizing boat and could only save their children or their parents. Westerners tend to choose their children, Asians tend to choose their parents.

In my experience, this is also why many Asian parents don't enjoy a friendly relationship with their adult children the way Americans in healthy family relationships usually do -- there is a lifetime of control and vicarious living/shaming that prevents it.

I don't think Asian cultures are better, but what you wrote there shows your complete ignorance and stupidity. Asian grandparents would say to save the children; the Asian parents would feel the same. Asians revere elders in a sense that they are more wise because they have more experience. I have told my gifted child the same thing - that while she may some day surpass me in her academic knowledge, I will always be wiser than her (except maybe if I start going senile). And a lot of Asian parents live with their adult children. The concept of putting your aging parents in an old folks home is not as prevalent amongst the Asian cultures.

Asian families focus on their children, and that includes older parents that focus on their adult children. I don't necessarily think that's a good thing, but you are very confused about the Asian culture. And yes, I say "Asian" because what PP wrote is true.. many of the Asian cultures do have this in common.

LOL my complete ignorance and stupidity includes being married to an Asian, having asked him and my BILs and SILs this question, and having them answer the way I've indicated. Oh, and 15+ years of international development work in which we use this exercise to get people thinking about cultural differences.

Sorry you have a problem with Asian culture!

Please name the international development organizations you are working/have worked for. I want to know exactly which organizations use this insane example to illustrate the difference between cultures.

+1. I am an Asian. If you came to my home country and told me that most families in my country would save their parents over their children in a capsizing boat, I'd know you know nothing about my country. Please tell us what organizations you work for so I can get the word out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She could have engaged in some "passion" and resist the prestige of the Ivy League school for few years so if she started in the late 70s, that would make her age 60 something at least.

Somebody who is 60 in 2015 was born in 1955 and turned 18 in 1973.

Math is fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess the nice thing about this thread is that it shows that both Asian-Americans and non-Asian-Americans resort to ad hominem attacks and ridiculous cultural generalizations. So it's true that under the skin, we really are all alike!

I have seen some foolish things posted on here but she takes the prize for not only being ignorant but for providing so much ammunition and evidence of her ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She could have engaged in some "passion" and resist the prestige of the Ivy League school for few years so if she started in the late 70s, that would make her age 60 something at least.

Somebody who is 60 in 2015 was born in 1955 and turned 18 in 1973.

Math is fun.

Thank God. I find it is usually the older people who are racist. The school children of today are used to more diversity and more accepting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the nice thing about this thread is that it shows that both Asian-Americans and non-Asian-Americans resort to ad hominem attacks and ridiculous cultural generalizations. So it's true that under the skin, we really are all alike!

I have seen some foolish things posted on here but she takes the prize for not only being ignorant but for providing so much ammunition and evidence of her ignorance.

She, who? There seems to be plenty of ignorance going around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
He didn't want to marry any Asian women, he said they are bitches. You're totally proving him right

Oh PP. There are plenty of posts on this forum from men that don't ever want to marry white women because they think they are bitches and high maintenance. There is one recent post where the OP stated that he never wanted to marry white women because they also age badly. I think the quote was "Once you go Asian you can never go Caucasian". That was a really dumb post, and so is your's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the nice thing about this thread is that it shows that both Asian-Americans and non-Asian-Americans resort to ad hominem attacks and ridiculous cultural generalizations. So it's true that under the skin, we really are all alike!

I have seen some foolish things posted on here but she takes the prize for not only being ignorant but for providing so much ammunition and evidence of her ignorance.

She, who? There seems to be plenty of ignorance going around.

Who? The lady who received a full academic scholarship to an Ivy League undergraduate program but refuses to say how she managed to do so and attended Ivy League school(s) even though she doesn't like prestige. She doesn't care for money but she is well remunerated as well. She is also an expert on Asian culture working in "international development" but demonstrates a complete ignorance of Asian culture. That lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the nice thing about this thread is that it shows that both Asian-Americans and non-Asian-Americans resort to ad hominem attacks and ridiculous cultural generalizations. So it's true that under the skin, we really are all alike!

I have seen some foolish things posted on here but she takes the prize for not only being ignorant but for providing so much ammunition and evidence of her ignorance.

She, who? There seems to be plenty of ignorance going around.

Who? The lady who received a full academic scholarship to an Ivy League undergraduate program but refuses to say how she managed to do so and attended Ivy League school(s) even though she doesn't like prestige. She doesn't care for money but she is well remunerated as well. She is also an expert on Asian culture working in "international development" but demonstrates a complete ignorance of Asian culture. That lady.

How about the poster who thinks that people who started college in the last 1970s and early 1980s are in their 60s? That seems pretty ignorant to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the nice thing about this thread is that it shows that both Asian-Americans and non-Asian-Americans resort to ad hominem attacks and ridiculous cultural generalizations. So it's true that under the skin, we really are all alike!

I have seen some foolish things posted on here but she takes the prize for not only being ignorant but for providing so much ammunition and evidence of her ignorance.

She, who? There seems to be plenty of ignorance going around.

Who? The lady who received a full academic scholarship to an Ivy League undergraduate program but refuses to say how she managed to do so and attended Ivy League school(s) even though she doesn't like prestige. She doesn't care for money but she is well remunerated as well. She is also an expert on Asian culture working in "international development" but demonstrates a complete ignorance of Asian culture. That lady.

Not on the same level.

[Anonymous]

Believe it or not, angry PPs, non-Asians are allowed to have opinions about Asian culture from an outsider's perspective. You don't have to be born Asian to be allowed to think and talk about it.

Being open to outside perspectives is healthy and lets you see what's different, good, and bad about things that you are sometimes too close to see. It's why studying abroad, traveling, and having friends from many different cultures is part of being a well-rounded and wise person. You get to know yourself from the vantage point of others and learn something, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Who? The lady who received a full academic scholarship to an Ivy League undergraduate program but refuses to say how she managed to do so and attended Ivy League school(s) even though she doesn't like prestige. She doesn't care for money but she is well remunerated as well. She is also an expert on Asian culture working in "international development" but demonstrates a complete ignorance of Asian culture. That lady.

In my opinion, anybody who thinks that there is such a thing as "Asian culture" is ignorant.

I mean, just think of all of those people from Pakistan with their Confucian values, or the heart-warming way that the ethnic Burmese and the Rohingya form a community, or the regular visits by Chinese and Korean government officials to the Yasukuni Shrine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not, angry PPs, non-Asians are allowed to have opinions about Asian culture from an outsider's perspective. You don't have to be born Asian to be allowed to think and talk about it.

Being open to outside perspectives is healthy and lets you see what's different, good, and bad about things that you are sometimes too close to see. It's why studying abroad, traveling, and having friends from many different cultures is part of being a well-rounded and wise person. You get to know yourself from the vantage point of others and learn something, too.

What you say is reasonable and makes sense.

What the "I went to Ivy League School for undergraduate and graduate schools and revived full academic scholarship" lady said (with all of her posts) was different. What she said was not reasonable and did not make sense.

People outside of Asian culture make observations and even make negative comments about Asian culture all the time. While people may express opinions, people also have the right to point out inconsistencies as well.

[Anonymous]

I'd say she pretty much demonstrated she was making up stuff when she claimed to have received a full academic scholarship to an Ivy - but I suspect she will say she got it in the early seventies.

[Anonymous]

Yo, Ivy League lady, how did you get your academic scholarship money?

[Anonymous]

I thought ivy school grads were smart.