Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate this. Hate this hate this.

I should be able to send my March bday 5yo to kindergarten the following fall without being worried that he'll be toward the bottom of the pack in size, self-control, concentration etc. Full day mandatory kindergarten is bad enough. K should be centers and free play and recess and alphabets. Not worksheets and reading groups. He's a bright kid and will do just fine, but it shouldn't even be on my RADAR as a concern.

Put your kid in school!

You sound pretty entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your kid will turn 7 in kindergarten? Yeah I wouldn't celebrate his 7th birthday with his kinder friends. My son who just finished 2nd grade is still 7.

+1. My son will still be seven when he starts third grade. A seven year old in k is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a boy in one of my elective classes in middle school who had a similar age gap that OP is describing. He was learning to drive in 8th grade and had his license by 9th.

He must have been a driving prodigy, can't get a learner's permit until after age 16 in Maryland (think it is 16 and a half). OP's son will be entering his sophomore year by then.

Nope, this was in Maryland - you could get a permit at 15. He could grow a 5 o'clock shadow in 8th grade too. Popular guy.

[Anonymous]

Remember the days when parents wanted their kids to skip a grade so they weren't bored? Redshirting of spring birthdays, and even summer birthdays, just so they are perceived as more mature, intelligent, is really doing a disservice to the kids.

Sent my late August birthday kid to school on time, and yes, there were kids who recently turned 7 months before he turns 6. I'm of the opinion that age cutoffs should not be negotiable absent some serious issue. I'm so glad I sent my young kid on time, because he is challenged and NOT bored, and now gets to expand his horizons even more as other kids his age are just about to start K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember the days when parents wanted their kids to skip a grade so they weren't bored? Redshirting of spring birthdays, and even summer birthdays, just so they are perceived as more mature, intelligent, is really doing a disservice to the kids.

Sent my late August birthday kid to school on time, and yes, there were kids who recently turned 7 months before he turns 6. I'm of the opinion that age cutoffs should not be negotiable absent some serious issue. I'm so glad I sent my young kid on time, because he is challenged and NOT bored, and now gets to expand his horizons even more as other kids his age are just about to start K.

No. My parents declined grade skipping. Many parents do; it messes with ability to socialize correctly. Look at those kid freaks who skipped multiple grades just to be able to say they started college 4 years early. They have no friends and are social outcasts. Most parents want their children to not only be challenged academically, but to gain important social skills. They also don't want their kid to be picked last for sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember the days when parents wanted their kids to skip a grade so they weren't bored? Redshirting of spring birthdays, and even summer birthdays, just so they are perceived as more mature, intelligent, is really doing a disservice to the kids.

Sent my late August birthday kid to school on time, and yes, there were kids who recently turned 7 months before he turns 6. I'm of the opinion that age cutoffs should not be negotiable absent some serious issue. I'm so glad I sent my young kid on time, because he is challenged and NOT bored, and now gets to expand his horizons even more as other kids his age are just about to start K.

No. My parents declined grade skipping. Many parents do; it messes with ability to socialize correctly. Look at those kid freaks who skipped multiple grades just to be able to say they started college 4 years early. They have no friends and are social outcasts. Most parents want their children to not only be challenged academically, but to gain important social skills. They also don't want their kid to be picked last for sports.

The Washington Post just had an article about grade skipping, early entrance, etc.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/why-do-schools-slow-down-so-many-bright-children/2015/06/21/39992086-14a4-11e5-9518-f9e0a8959f32_story.html?hpid=z5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No. My parents declined grade skipping. Many parents do; it messes with ability to socialize correctly. Look at those kid freaks who skipped multiple grades just to be able to say they started college 4 years early. They have no friends and are social outcasts. Most parents want their children to not only be challenged academically, but to gain important social skills. They also don't want their kid to be picked last for sports.

Your overgeneralization skills are excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a boy in one of my elective classes in middle school who had a similar age gap that OP is describing. He was learning to drive in 8th grade and had his license by 9th.

He must have been a driving prodigy, can't get a learner's permit until after age 16 in Maryland (think it is 16 and a half). OP's son will be entering his sophomore year by then.

Nope, this was in Maryland - you could get a permit at 15. He could grow a 5 o'clock shadow in 8th grade too. Popular guy.

Really not sure how this is relevant, as that is no longer the permit age and OP's son isn't going to be 15 in 8th grade, but nice story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember the days when parents wanted their kids to skip a grade so they weren't bored? Redshirting of spring birthdays, and even summer birthdays, just so they are perceived as more mature, intelligent, is really doing a disservice to the kids.

Sent my late August birthday kid to school on time, and yes, there were kids who recently turned 7 months before he turns 6. I'm of the opinion that age cutoffs should not be negotiable absent some serious issue. I'm so glad I sent my young kid on time, because he is challenged and NOT bored, and now gets to expand his horizons even more as other kids his age are just about to start K.

No. My parents declined grade skipping. Many parents do; it messes with ability to socialize correctly. Look at those kid freaks who skipped multiple grades just to be able to say they started college 4 years early. They have no friends and are social outcasts. Most parents want their children to not only be challenged academically, but to gain important social skills. They also don't want their kid to be picked last for sports.

The Washington Post just had an article about grade skipping, early entrance, etc.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/why-do-schools-slow-down-so-many-bright-children/2015/06/21/39992086-14a4-11e5-9518-f9e0a8959f32_story.html?hpid=z5

My parents declined to let me skip a grade and I'm still a social outcast. There's really no one size fits all solution to this. I have no doubt I'db e better off had I skipped a grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a boy in one of my elective classes in middle school who had a similar age gap that OP is describing. He was learning to drive in 8th grade and had his license by 9th.

He must have been a driving prodigy, can't get a learner's permit until after age 16 in Maryland (think it is 16 and a half). OP's son will be entering his sophomore year by then.

Nope, this was in Maryland - you could get a permit at 15. He could grow a 5 o'clock shadow in 8th grade too. Popular guy.

Really not sure how this is relevant, as that is no longer the permit age and OP's son isn't going to be 15 in 8th grade, but nice story.

If he will be 19 when he graduates then yes, he will be 15 in the 8th grade which is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's your choice to pursue and adhd diagnosis. As well as medicating is a choice too. Redshirting is not the solution, parenting is.

I don't know that anyone is saying that redshirting is THE solution to the adhd misdiagnosis. However, i think the fact that tons of kids are diagnosed with ADHD, and the younger they are in class, the more likely they are to get diagnosed, is saying something about whether or not class is age-appropriate for those younger kids.

I did not base my redshirting decision on the possibility of my kid being misdiagnosed, I redshirted because i think K is age-inappropriate even for the children starting on time, so I didn't want my child starting something that isn't working well for his age group. I am so pleased with our decision. He was a late Aug bday though.

As others have pointed out, this is BS. ADHD is diagnosed based on a clinical assessment by a physician (in conjunction with a PhD psychologist sometimes, but only a physician can prescribe meds). There are age-normed tests. Relative age in a classroom has nothing to do with it. If your kid is "misdiagnosed" because he is among the younger kids in the class, that would be medical malpractice!

So you think that it's totally fine that ADHD is diagnosed at a far greater rate in the youngest portion of the class? That's been proven in repeated, peer-reviewed studies (see one link above and there are others). I honestly do not know how you can say "Relative age in a classroom has nothing to do with [ADHD diagnosis]" unless you are prepared to show proof that these multiple studies are misinterpreting their data. Or are you blaming the parents of younger children for not detecting medical malpractice? Please clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At least you are honest--you want someone else to have the youngest kid.

I actually have the youngest kid. Also, I was the youngest kid. Nothing bad has happened yet.

Then why are you worrying about your March child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If he will be 19 when he graduates then yes, he will be 15 in the 8th grade which is ridiculous.

Why is it ridiculous?

[Anonymous]

I'm totally blown away by the idea that someone would "redshirt" a kid born in May. I get doing it with an August birthday, but May?

My DS was born in April, and it never even occurred to me. Since I have a summer birthday, I actually perceived him as being one of the "older" kids in the class in comparison to my experiences!

There are 14 pages of this, and I'm not going to read them all, but I think the OP needs to just let go of the guilt. You made a decision, it was based on reasons you feel are good, and and you need to live with it. Don't hide his age, and don't lie about it. Your kid will hear this and will think there's something wrong with him. Just be honest, and if someone asks why he isn't in a higher grade, that's on them, not you. And you can simply say that you felt it would be better for him based on his early experiences in preschool. Conversation over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At least you are honest--you want someone else to have the youngest kid.

I actually have the youngest kid. Also, I was the youngest kid. Nothing bad has happened yet.

Then why are you worrying about your March child?

I'm not. I'm not the OP or the PP who thinks they shouldn't have to worry about things. I don't have a March child. I only posted to say that it's not a disaster to be or have the youngest kid.