Need a new perspective on problem with in-laws (long, sorry)

[Anonymous]

There's nothing you can do about what happened. In the future, do not leave your kids with them. Even if they say it will be okay, do not do it. They cannot handle it. That is okay. It is over now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, no. OP asked way, way too much of her family.

Sorry, OP, but you chose to have three (apparently) high maintenance kids. As long as they are young, incredible vacations are selfish on your part and should be totally off the table.

When your kids are older, fine. But now? You need to stay home and look after them yourself.

Maybe, but are FIL, MIL, and FIL's current wife a collection of total imbeciles unable to calibrate their respective abilities to provide child care? Why is that OP's fault? They made a COMMITMENT and therefore that's their responsibility.

they were not fully aware what they were commiting to. they wanted to be helpful wihout realizing what it entailed. OP was supposed to correct them, i.e. knowing better, refuse their help, rather than use their ignorance. her insistence that she was helping them and making it easier by providing long-winded documents on what they were supposed to do and prepared meals is especially annoying.

that said, it's over now, so no point in pouting etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait--the kids had FOUR people caring for them--the FIL, his ex, and his wife, and some kind of child care help??? And they still couldn't hack it???

Some people love to live in a cloud of unnecessary drama. They TEND to be women. Here you've got too many cooks spoiling the broth and have no idea what sort of family politics was going on between FIL and his harem while you were away.

I say to all of you, shut up, and grow up, and act like adults.

No, it was 5 (6 if you count BIL).

Grandma
Grandpa
Grandpa's younger wife
Mother's helper
Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait--the kids had FOUR people caring for them--the FIL, his ex, and his wife, and some kind of child care help??? And they still couldn't hack it???

Some people love to live in a cloud of unnecessary drama. They TEND to be women. Here you've got too many cooks spoiling the broth and have no idea what sort of family politics was going on between FIL and his harem while you were away.

I say to all of you, shut up, and grow up, and act like adults.

No, it was 5 (6 if you count BIL).

Grandma
Grandpa
Grandpa's younger wife
Mother's helper
Nanny

Maybe they would be able to hack it if they were not forced into OPs minute by minute schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they would be able to hack it if they were not forced into OPs minute by minute schedule.

We have a winner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they would be able to hack it if they were not forced into OPs minute by minute schedule.

We have a winner.

OP here-

Like I said in a previous post, we talked it out and its all been settled, but where in any of my posts did you see a "minute by minute schedule"? The only schedule was wake-up, school, and bedtime - pretty sure that is a "schedule" that the entire world lives by and definitely not me overscheduling or restricting anyone or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they would be able to hack it if they were not forced into OPs minute by minute schedule.

We have a winner.

OP here-

Like I said in a previous post, we talked it out and its all been settled, but where in any of my posts did you see a "minute by minute schedule"? The only schedule was wake-up, school, and bedtime - pretty sure that is a "schedule" that the entire world lives by and definitely not me overscheduling or restricting anyone or anything.

You sound very defensive and anal, I am exhausted reading your posts, I can imagine what it's like to live by your rules and your "childcare documents" that you so helpfully draft for others.

[Anonymous]

You called Dr. Laura the other day, I heard you. You should be taking her advice and not posting on this forum. She told you EXACTLY what to do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You called Dr. Laura the other day, I heard you. You should be taking her advice and not posting on this forum. She told you EXACTLY what to do!

[Anonymous]

I think is unbelievable that they called you 5 days into the trip to tell you that you need to find another arrangement for the LO. For me that is really unacceptable. And the thing of the carpet, are you serious?
Family is family. They agreed to take care of your children. It wasn't as easy as expected. Ok. Lesson learnt for next time.
I share you view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You called Dr. Laura the other day, I heard you. You should be taking her advice and not posting on this forum. She told you EXACTLY what to do!

Seriously? Please tell us....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You called Dr. Laura the other day, I heard you. You should be taking her advice and not posting on this forum. She told you EXACTLY what to do!

Seriously? Please tell us....

OP here -
I definitely did not call Dr. Laura. I dont even listen to her show and I already reported back that we worked it all out and all is well in the world. They have even babysat for us since the trip

[Anonymous]

I think the big mistake was leaving for a week. More than 3-4 days becomes really tricky for anyone to care for 3 kids who are not their own. We recently went on vacation for 3 and left our 2 kids with the inlaws (youngest is 3). We hired our nanny and she came in for 12 hours every day for the 3 days. She did the bedtime routine, made dinners, cleaned up and my inlaws were still exhausted!