This was a real post on my neighborhood listserv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

takoma wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

What else would you say if you said something you think needed saying, but you know that, unfortunately, someone was offended? I want to express my sympathy, but I'm not apologizing. Surely people know that sorry is not a synonym for apology. If not, I'm sorry to hear it.

We use "regret" in our family. As in "I regret that my actions hurt you," which is true but does not force a fake apology if we're not actually sorry we did them.

We use "douche" in our family. As in "I regret that we know that family of douches that refuse to apologize."

[Anonymous]

Etsy is full of all sorts of pine cone treasures. Get your "Pinecone Mountain Man" doll while it's hot, people!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/92774772/pinecone-mountain-man-rustic-mugwump?ref=sr_gallery_8&ga_search_query=pinecone&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has revealed humanity in all its vile filth.

It is truly an increasing avalanche of ever-grosser degradation, from the spiteful little child, no doubt laughing as he hurled his missile at the unsuspecting motorist, to the motorist, delighting in screaming at the poor defenseless child, to the preening mother, plastering her passive-aggressive hypocrisy across Bethesda, to the privacy-stealing anonymous OP, smearing this grotesque incident across the World Wide Web, to the screeching harpies, homophobes and proverb-misquoters alighting on the sorry tale like vultures on the bloated purifying corpse of a baby hippopotamus.

No, I am afraid that no one, except possibly me, has emerged from this wretched little tale covered in glory. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!

Santimommy, shut the fuck up.

As for the stupid mom who started all this. Don't post stupid shit on public forums (or at least do it anonymously). It can and will travel like wildfire...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post is really despicable. When I first read op I didn't know what was worse - the "victim" stoping to complain about a fucking pine cone or the mother with her martyrdom syndrome.

In any event, op's conduct is worse than both the victim's and the mother, because although she didn't post the mother's name here, I am 99% sure that most of the people who live in this neighborhood in Bethesda visit this website and upon seeing this WILL recognize the mother.

I like how you feel that you are so much better than the rest of us, yet you are on here cursing about a pinecone!

And you put 'victim' in quotes, but I wonder if you'd think the same thing if your tween son was riding his bike and got whacked in the eye by that flying acorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has revealed humanity in all its vile filth.

It is truly an increasing avalanche of ever-grosser degradation, from the spiteful little child, no doubt laughing as he hurled his missile at the unsuspecting motorist, to the motorist, delighting in screaming at the poor defenseless child, to the preening mother, plastering her passive-aggressive hypocrisy across Bethesda, to the privacy-stealing anonymous OP, smearing this grotesque incident across the World Wide Web, to the screeching harpies, homophobes and proverb-misquoters alighting on the sorry tale like vultures on the bloated purifying corpse of a baby hippopotamus.

No, I am afraid that no one, except possibly me, has emerged from this wretched little tale covered in glory. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!

Nope, sorry. It appears that it has also brought out the worst in you - all of your egotistical, sanctimonious obnoxiousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has revealed humanity in all its vile filth.

It is truly an increasing avalanche of ever-grosser degradation, from the spiteful little child, no doubt laughing as he hurled his missile at the unsuspecting motorist, to the motorist, delighting in screaming at the poor defenseless child, to the preening mother, plastering her passive-aggressive hypocrisy across Bethesda, to the privacy-stealing anonymous OP, smearing this grotesque incident across the World Wide Web, to the screeching harpies, homophobes and proverb-misquoters alighting on the sorry tale like vultures on the bloated purifying corpse of a baby hippopotamus.

No, I am afraid that no one, except possibly me, has emerged from this wretched little tale covered in glory. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!

Lighten up, Francis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Etsy is full of all sorts of pine cone treasures. Get your "Pinecone Mountain Man" doll while it's hot, people!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/92774772/pinecone-mountain-man-rustic-mugwump?ref=sr_gallery_8&ga_search_query=pinecone&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade

Love it!

The man should really be grateful that the kid threw a pinecone at him. Look at all the wonderful things he could have done with it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

takoma wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I'm inviting everyone to mock me as well, but here goes. . .

I don't think the mother's email was really off base. It's not something I would probably send, but my reaction as a recipient would have been mild sympathy.

Some kids have a really strong sense of shame, especially at that age, and many have a strong sense of justice as well. In combination, I can see where a mother would be frustrated at how this played out. My nephew is like that. I can easily imagine him ruminating on this and feeling really bad and embarrassed for a long time.

I also think if you're going to really take someone to task, especially a stranger who won't have the opportunity to follow up later, it's better not to do it in a hit-and-run fashion. The kid is not entitled to "closure" as the mother put it, but it would nice. Since the guy took on the role of "village" in this situation, he could have take the extra 30 seconds to do it more productively. Learning to apologize meaningfully is important and this was a lost opportunity for that. One of my biggest peeves is those terrible, passive-voice, "I'm sorry if what I said/did offended you," nonapologies that you hear all the time.

What else would you say if you said something you think needed saying, but you know that, unfortunately, someone was offended? I want to express my sympathy, but I'm not apologizing. Surely people know that sorry is not a synonym for apology. If not, I'm sorry to hear it.

We use "regret" in our family. As in "I regret that my actions hurt you," which is true but does not force a fake apology if we're not actually sorry we did them.

We use "douche" in our family. As in "I regret that we know that family of douches that refuse to apologize."

Right back atcha, lady. I didn't say we didn't apologize, I said that when we feel bad that we hurt someone but are not sorry for the specific action that led to it, we use "regret." When we are apologizing, we say, "I'm sorry I rolled my eyes at you as if I were stuck in 5th grade."

[Anonymous]

People on Etsy really like making dolls out of pinecones.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/127470556/colorado-tree-person-6-mixed-bark?ref=shop_home_active

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has revealed humanity in all its vile filth.

It is truly an increasing avalanche of ever-grosser degradation, from the spiteful little child, no doubt laughing as he hurled his missile at the unsuspecting motorist, to the motorist, delighting in screaming at the poor defenseless child, to the preening mother, plastering her passive-aggressive hypocrisy across Bethesda, to the privacy-stealing anonymous OP, smearing this grotesque incident across the World Wide Web, to the screeching harpies, homophobes and proverb-misquoters alighting on the sorry tale like vultures on the bloated purifying corpse of a baby hippopotamus.

No, I am afraid that no one, except possibly me, has emerged from this wretched little tale covered in glory. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!

LOL! Your post is actually the worst of them all! You are attributing the WORST possible motives to all involved.

The kid was NOT spiteful - he threw the pinecone by accident!
It doesn't sound like the motorist was 'screaming' and 'delighting' in it.
And, 'bloated purifying corpse of a baby hippopotamus'?? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing revealed to dcum general, but certainly to the listserv moms who are on dcum. Privacy isn't the issue even.

It's just plain inexcusable meanness.

It is DCUM. They have never been nice here.

And so it's okay? Is that also what we should teach our children?

Okay, so the pine come lady gets a pass? She gets to go on her neighborhood listserve and post a public rant against a neighbor. But, you're on here criticizing OP for reposting it?

Lol, strange logic.

Yes, because in a case like this, mockery is a far worse offense. It is a uniquely mean thing to do. If you were somewhere surrounded by members of your social circle, would you rather someone come up to you and express anger about something you did or make fun of you, for everyone to hear? What would make you feel worse next time you happened to pass someone from that social circle on the street?

In this case, in especially mean because now this mother may well know that people in her neighborhood have been mocking her but she won't know exactly who. How should she feel at the next playdate or out walking the dog or at the next school function when she engages in conversation with people she knows are on the listserv?

Umm, yes, exactly. That is the point. The Pinecone Lady went on her listserve to bitch about her neighbor. That was pretty obnoxious. Why didn't she just deal with him one on one? Sorry, but she brought this on herself.

Sorry my last post was poorly written. I was trying to say that it is worse to be the object of ridicule than anger. Anger can serve many purposes, not just to hurt. Ridicule and mockery is really just to be mean. That is the difference. If someone were mad at me and took me to task publicly for something I did, I would be embarrassed. If someone mocked me publicly for something I did, I'd be mortified.

[Anonymous]

I know what your mantle is missing. A statue of a bird humping a pine cone

http://www.etsy.com/listing/125006680/chickadee-with-pinecone-attached-to?ref=sr_gallery_21&ga_search_query=pinecone&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=4&ga_search_type=handmade

[Anonymous]

I believe this is a picture of pinecone mom?

http://www.etsy.com/listing/41234308/4x6-inch-print?ref=sr_gallery_36&ga_search_query=pinecone&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=5&ga_search_type=handmade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe this is a picture of pinecone mom?

http://www.etsy.com/listing/41234308/4x6-inch-print?ref=sr_gallery_36&ga_search_query=pinecone&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=5&ga_search_type=handmade

BWAHAHAHA!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WHAT neighborhood in Bethesda?

Not mine. I just checked the list serve messages and nothing nearly this exciting on it. Some people need babysitting, there was a string of messages when a water main broke a couple of months ago, someone is selling a bike, there are some lost dogs, but NOT a single pine cone tosser in our hood.