Late 40s woman: age-appropriate men look so old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, and recently started dating again after a 24-year relationship. I'm shocked how old men my age look. I myself don't have wrinkles, saggy skin or gray hair. I'm fit and full of energy. But these guys, geez... I don't want to date them myself!

I hear you OP. I am 53 and about to be divorced. The last first date I went on was 25 years ago. When I look at 53 year old men it feels like I am looking at my father and I'm having a hard time with what any dating pool may look like. Of course, personality and character have always been more important to me and people's physical characteristics are enhanced by positive non-physical characteristics, but still....Regarding dating younger men, I could try and most people guess me at 40 or even late thirties and I feel like I'm a teenager, but once they find out my real age, why would someone younger want to date a 53 year old? It seems like men would want to date a younger woman, esp if they have not been married yet (so they can have kids). For me to be the younger woman, I would have to date someone in their 60s or 70s, and then I really would be looking at someone at a similar age to my father! I'm going to try and get out there but also feel like I missed the boat and will be single going forward.

Are there really this many people who are 53 and think they look like they are in their 30s?

Yes, it’s the entry fee to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any time I see a white guy with an Asian woman I just assume he is a pedo too.

That's crazy talk, dehumanizing to Asian women and white men. It's amazing to me how comfortable people (usually women) are saying stuff that is so insulting to Asian women and white men.

NP. Most Asian women think it's strange too. There is a weird subset of (mostly older) white men who fetishize Asian women.

i
I'm a white man and I've dated a few Asian women over the years. They've all talked about this subset of creepy men. They've also talked about white women and black women not respecting them.

If you see a white man and Asian woman walking down the street in Bethesda and you automatically assume that the couple is probably the result of some guy having a weird fetish and some poor woman putting up with his creepiness because of a power imbalance, then you are the one with the problem. They're more likely a couple of lawyers or scientists who talk to each other and care about each other just like any other couple.

[Anonymous]

They look old because they all lie about age

[Anonymous]

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, and recently started dating again after a 24-year relationship. I'm shocked how old men my age look. I myself don't have wrinkles, saggy skin or gray hair. I'm fit and full of energy. But these guys, geez... I don't want to date them myself!

I hear you OP. I am 53 and about to be divorced. The last first date I went on was 25 years ago. When I look at 53 year old men it feels like I am looking at my father and I'm having a hard time with what any dating pool may look like. Of course, personality and character have always been more important to me and people's physical characteristics are enhanced by positive non-physical characteristics, but still....Regarding dating younger men, I could try and most people guess me at 40 or even late thirties and I feel like I'm a teenager, but once they find out my real age, why would someone younger want to date a 53 year old? It seems like men would want to date a younger woman, esp if they have not been married yet (so they can have kids). For me to be the younger woman, I would have to date someone in their 60s or 70s, and then I really would be looking at someone at a similar age to my father! I'm going to try and get out there but also feel like I missed the boat and will be single going forward.

Are there really this many people who are 53 and think they look like they are in their 30s?

Yes, it’s the entry fee to DCUM.

Truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m very athletic so when I started dating at 46 I joined sports groups like biking and tennis. The men are generally in very good shape so that’s a real plus. Sure, plenty are jerks but I’ve had a very good four years with a few partners. I’m not ready for an LTR until I’m an empty nester but I’m having fun and these fit guys have great stamina.

Bikers are notoriously bad in bed..,

Yes, all that time sitting on their perineums kills boners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They look so old because they don't take care of themselves as we do. I don't want to say how much I spend per year between laser treatments, skin care, hair coloring and cuts, pilates, gym, teeth, clothes, supplements, and clean food. I mean, it's kind of nuts. Of course, men my age will look much older than I do. I p

This is hyper delusional. No one is mis judging your age. Women may tell you that you look younger to flatter you and be a good friend. Men will flatter you for engagement and potential conquest. NO ONE IS ACTUALLY MIS-JUDGING YOUR AGE. I'm in my late 50s, have told dozens of female friends over the years how "young" they look but it has never once been true. I have never yet found out someone's true age afterward and been surprised.

Yes, some people are more well maintained than others. That is not the same as looking a different age. If I have a 50-year-old Ferrari in mint condition, I still do not think it is a brand new Ferrari. No one would.

Asian American here. I didn’t look much different at age 40 from 30. People often thought I was in my twenties and people often were shocked when I said I was 40. Then Covid happened and I’m now almost 50. At age 48, I definitely look forties and older than a short few years ago.

I have friends who are almost 50 who look fantastic. They put a lot of effort into their looks, had mommy makeovers, etc. I think it takes a lot of effort to maintain looking good in your fifties. I have never done Botox or laser therapy and salmon dna or other things some of my friends do.

Black women age beautifully too. I wish white people would stop making broad statements as if what applies to them holds true for all of humanity. White skin ages terribly. Darker skin not so much.

Every single black woman I know over 40 weighs north of 210 pounds. Without exception.

Then you don’t know many black women.

The women in my circles are all within a normal weight regardless of race.

pp is probably fat, too. it's contagious and those are her people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, and recently started dating again after a 24-year relationship. I'm shocked how old men my age look. I myself don't have wrinkles, saggy skin or gray hair. I'm fit and full of energy. But these guys, geez... I don't want to date them myself!

I hear you OP. I am 53 and about to be divorced. The last first date I went on was 25 years ago. When I look at 53 year old men it feels like I am looking at my father and I'm having a hard time with what any dating pool may look like. Of course, personality and character have always been more important to me and people's physical characteristics are enhanced by positive non-physical characteristics, but still....Regarding dating younger men, I could try and most people guess me at 40 or even late thirties and I feel like I'm a teenager, but once they find out my real age, why would someone younger want to date a 53 year old? It seems like men would want to date a younger woman, esp if they have not been married yet (so they can have kids). For me to be the younger woman, I would have to date someone in their 60s or 70s, and then I really would be looking at someone at a similar age to my father! I'm going to try and get out there but also feel like I missed the boat and will be single going forward.

Are there really this many people who are 53 and think they look like they are in their 30s?

All DCUM women feel this way.

[Anonymous]

The love of my life is 53, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Miss her......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, and recently started dating again after a 24-year relationship. I'm shocked how old men my age look. I myself don't have wrinkles, saggy skin or gray hair. I'm fit and full of energy. But these guys, geez... I don't want to date them myself!

I hear you OP. I am 53 and about to be divorced. The last first date I went on was 25 years ago. When I look at 53 year old men it feels like I am looking at my father and I'm having a hard time with what any dating pool may look like. Of course, personality and character have always been more important to me and people's physical characteristics are enhanced by positive non-physical characteristics, but still....Regarding dating younger men, I could try and most people guess me at 40 or even late thirties and I feel like I'm a teenager, but once they find out my real age, why would someone younger want to date a 53 year old? It seems like men would want to date a younger woman, esp if they have not been married yet (so they can have kids). For me to be the younger woman, I would have to date someone in their 60s or 70s, and then I really would be looking at someone at a similar age to my father! I'm going to try and get out there but also feel like I missed the boat and will be single going forward.

Are there really this many people who are 53 and think they look like they are in their 30s?

Yes there are many on this forum. And they also think that most young men find grannies more attractive than younger women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m very athletic so when I started dating at 46 I joined sports groups like biking and tennis. The men are generally in very good shape so that’s a real plus. Sure, plenty are jerks but I’ve had a very good four years with a few partners. I’m not ready for an LTR until I’m an empty nester but I’m having fun and these fit guys have great stamina.

Bikers are notoriously bad in bed..,

Yes, all that time sitting on their perineums kills boners.

Oh god, my boyfriend is a biker (bikes every other day), and he is fantastic in bed. We both wish we could just live in bed, it’s so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, and recently started dating again after a 24-year relationship. I'm shocked how old men my age look. I myself don't have wrinkles, saggy skin or gray hair. I'm fit and full of energy. But these guys, geez... I don't want to date them myself!

I hear you OP. I am 53 and about to be divorced. The last first date I went on was 25 years ago. When I look at 53 year old men it feels like I am looking at my father and I'm having a hard time with what any dating pool may look like. Of course, personality and character have always been more important to me and people's physical characteristics are enhanced by positive non-physical characteristics, but still....Regarding dating younger men, I could try and most people guess me at 40 or even late thirties and I feel like I'm a teenager, but once they find out my real age, why would someone younger want to date a 53 year old? It seems like men would want to date a younger woman, esp if they have not been married yet (so they can have kids). For me to be the younger woman, I would have to date someone in their 60s or 70s, and then I really would be looking at someone at a similar age to my father! I'm going to try and get out there but also feel like I missed the boat and will be single going forward.

Are there really this many people who are 53 and think they look like they are in their 30s?

Yes there are many on this forum. And they also think that most young men find grannies more attractive than younger women.

Read the other thread Lied About Age. Men can’t figure out the women’s real age with 10 years variation.
Therefore many people misstate ages on the apps. If some woman looks amazing at 47 and doesn’t like she’ll be weeded out in filters versus 37 yo women who lied about age and are in fact also 47.

So it’s logical to put a self established age on the apps but I would disclose right after matching the real age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They look so old because they don't take care of themselves as we do. I don't want to say how much I spend per year between laser treatments, skin care, hair coloring and cuts, pilates, gym, teeth, clothes, supplements, and clean food. I mean, it's kind of nuts. Of course, men my age will look much older than I do. I p

This is hyper delusional. No one is mis judging your age. Women may tell you that you look younger to flatter you and be a good friend. Men will flatter you for engagement and potential conquest. NO ONE IS ACTUALLY MIS-JUDGING YOUR AGE. I'm in my late 50s, have told dozens of female friends over the years how "young" they look but it has never once been true. I have never yet found out someone's true age afterward and been surprised.

Yes, some people are more well maintained than others. That is not the same as looking a different age. If I have a 50-year-old Ferrari in mint condition, I still do not think it is a brand new Ferrari. No one would.

Asian American here. I didn’t look much different at age 40 from 30. People often thought I was in my twenties and people often were shocked when I said I was 40. Then Covid happened and I’m now almost 50. At age 48, I definitely look forties and older than a short few years ago.

I have friends who are almost 50 who look fantastic. They put a lot of effort into their looks, had mommy makeovers, etc. I think it takes a lot of effort to maintain looking good in your fifties. I have never done Botox or laser therapy and salmon dna or other things some of my friends do.

Black women age beautifully too. I wish white people would stop making broad statements as if what applies to them holds true for all of humanity. White skin ages terribly. Darker skin not so much.

Every single black woman I know over 40 weighs north of 210 pounds. Without exception.

Then you don’t know many black women.

The women in my circles are all within a normal weight regardless of race.

pp is probably fat, too. it's contagious and those are her people.

Yeah, um, how many black women does she actually "know"?

-Signed a fit black women in her 40s, married with two kids that has plenty of other fit black girl friends looking young in their 40s too

Side note: My coworkers keep trying to secretly guess my age. Some people in the building think I'm an intern. Not sure whether to be offended or laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any time I see a white guy with an Asian woman I just assume he is a pedo too.

That's crazy talk, dehumanizing to Asian women and white men. It's amazing to me how comfortable people (usually women) are saying stuff that is so insulting to Asian women and white men.

NP. Most Asian women think it's strange too. There is a weird subset of (mostly older) white men who fetishize Asian women.

i
I'm a white man and I've dated a few Asian women over the years. They've all talked about this subset of creepy men. They've also talked about white women and black women not respecting them.

If you see a white man and Asian woman walking down the street in Bethesda and you automatically assume that the couple is probably the result of some guy having a weird fetish and some poor woman putting up with his creepiness because of a power imbalance, then you are the one with the problem. They're more likely a couple of lawyers or scientists who talk to each other and care about each other just like any other couple.

Asian/white is a pretty common pairing. It’s only creepy when the guy is white and much older, like with Meghan Markle’s dad and his new wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, and recently started dating again after a 24-year relationship. I'm shocked how old men my age look. I myself don't have wrinkles, saggy skin or gray hair. I'm fit and full of energy. But these guys, geez... I don't want to date them myself!

I hear you OP. I am 53 and about to be divorced. The last first date I went on was 25 years ago. When I look at 53 year old men it feels like I am looking at my father and I'm having a hard time with what any dating pool may look like. Of course, personality and character have always been more important to me and people's physical characteristics are enhanced by positive non-physical characteristics, but still....Regarding dating younger men, I could try and most people guess me at 40 or even late thirties and I feel like I'm a teenager, but once they find out my real age, why would someone younger want to date a 53 year old? It seems like men would want to date a younger woman, esp if they have not been married yet (so they can have kids). For me to be the younger woman, I would have to date someone in their 60s or 70s, and then I really would be looking at someone at a similar age to my father! I'm going to try and get out there but also feel like I missed the boat and will be single going forward.

Are there really this many people who are 53 and think they look like they are in their 30s?

Yes, it’s the entry fee to DCUM.

I am turning 53 next week and I look 40 I am seeing a 40 year old man at the moment.