Boyfriend told me to “shut the F up”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

It makes sense that you wouldn’t know them, they would never choose to be around the likes of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

It makes sense that you wouldn’t know them, they would never choose to be around the likes of you.

Ah, so they're judgmental cants. Cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

It makes sense that you wouldn’t know them, they would never choose to be around the likes of you.

Ah, so they're judgmental cants. Cool.

You are conflicting the use of profanity generally with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

^^^ *not conflicting, confusing

[Anonymous]

Trying again:


You are conflating the use of profanity generally by a person with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying again:


You are conflating the use of profanity generally by a person with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

There's still a world of difference between a non-angry "stfu" and "STFU you bleeping bleep!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying again:


You are conflating the use of profanity generally by a person with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

There's still a world of difference between a non-angry "stfu" and "STFU you bleeping bleep!"

The STFU followed by lecturing and in the context of how he’s handling the dog is all we needed to know. Btw you’re talking to multiple people who are exactly on the same page.

[Anonymous]

It is a very big deal.

He will undoubtedly get mad at you in the future (like all couples), and now you have seen a bit of who he really is when he is angry.

Verbal abuse is definitely a red flag for emotional and physical abuse. And with your history, you are high risk.

I would take a break from this relationship .

If you are not convinced, at least seek therapy

(He sounds low class, and like he does not respect women 😳)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying again:


You are conflating the use of profanity generally by a person with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

There's still a world of difference between a non-angry "stfu" and "STFU you bleeping bleep!"

A non-angry STFU???

[Anonymous]

Ex boyfriend, you mean. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

So anyone who has ever sworn once while upset is an abuser, but the namecallers aren't abusers because THEY are justified.

Okay. Sure. That makes perfect sense.

Swearing in general =/= swearing at your partner.
Your failure to grasp basic concepts about decency is concerning.

dropping a "STFU" when drunk and being badgered by someone who has no standing to be involved in the first place isn't the egregious decency violation you're trying to claim, but good luck living your life while this hysterical and overreacting this hard about small things.

And you didn't address the part about how someone who didn't swear at anyone got abused, but that's because it makes sense you can't argue. So you'll go back to insulting people, abuser.

Project much?

Dating someone who gets drunk and cusses you out is not fun. This is one year in and the guy can't handle alcohol (drunk), can't humanely own a dog (untrained, muzzled, restrained), and can't control his behavior (cusses her out for trying to help the dog)...things aren't going well here.

Dating someone who interrupts your night to nag you about your life/your business isn't fun either. Now he's a drunk, a dog abuser, and out of control? because he said stfu, non-aggressively (by OPs own accounting on this thread).

You make drama because you are drama. This isn't that dramatic.

Oh, she made the drama ?

Classic mindset of an abuser (“she provoked me”)

You OP are a misogynist at minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

So anyone who has ever sworn once while upset is an abuser, but the namecallers aren't abusers because THEY are justified.

Okay. Sure. That makes perfect sense.

Swearing in general =/= swearing at your partner.
Your failure to grasp basic concepts about decency is concerning.

dropping a "STFU" when drunk and being badgered by someone who has no standing to be involved in the first place isn't the egregious decency violation you're trying to claim, but good luck living your life while this hysterical and overreacting this hard about small things.

And you didn't address the part about how someone who didn't swear at anyone got abused, but that's because it makes sense you can't argue. So you'll go back to insulting people, abuser.

Project much?

Dating someone who gets drunk and cusses you out is not fun. This is one year in and the guy can't handle alcohol (drunk), can't humanely own a dog (untrained, muzzled, restrained), and can't control his behavior (cusses her out for trying to help the dog)...things aren't going well here.

Dating someone who interrupts your night to nag you about your life/your business isn't fun either. Now he's a drunk, a dog abuser, and out of control? because he said stfu, non-aggressively (by OPs own accounting on this thread).

You make drama because you are drama. This isn't that dramatic.

Oh, she made the drama ?

Classic mindset of an abuser (“she provoked me”)

You OP are a misogynist at minimum.

(Sorry, this was directed to PP, not OP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex boyfriend, you mean. Right?

Past time for this. DTMFA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying again:


You are conflating the use of profanity generally by a person with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

There's still a world of difference between a non-angry "stfu" and "STFU you bleeping bleep!"

Yeah, the difference is weeks to months when he will do the latter because she took the former.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying again:


You are conflating the use of profanity generally by a person with profanity directed with specificity by a person at his partner. They're not the same thing.

There's still a world of difference between a non-angry "stfu" and "STFU you bleeping bleep!"

The STFU followed by lecturing and in the context of how he’s handling the dog is all we needed to know. Btw you’re talking to multiple people who are exactly on the same page.

Yeah, there's a lot of messy people in this thread who can't follow a thread and are projecting, hard, sure. She lectured him about his dog, while he was minding his own business, and got a dismissive, but not violent, STFU.

If she wants to break up with him, she should. But treating this like some sort of nuclear calamity is unhinged and way over the top. That howevermany of you are "exactly on the same page" (on the anon forum, which is full of trolls and sockpuppets) doesn't make you right.