Boyfriend told me to “shut the F up”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I used to swear at boyfriends when I was young. When I finally encountered a man who had standars and boundaries, I realized I couldn't talk to him that way. He would not have continued dating me. I worked on myself and found intelligent ways to express my feelings, especially anger. Emotionality, cussing and yelling are low IQ and EQ behaviors. Eventually, I sought therapy to understand myself and why I carried such anger and why I treated men poorly. When I met dh, I was a young woman who had standards for my own conduct and expression and who could engage a man like dh, who was raised well and for whom these standards and boundaries were second nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I used to swear at boyfriends when I was young. When I finally encountered a man who had standars and boundaries, I realized I couldn't talk to him that way. He would not have continued dating me. I worked on myself and found intelligent ways to express my feelings, especially anger. Emotionality, cussing and yelling are low IQ and EQ behaviors. Eventually, I sought therapy to understand myself and why I carried such anger and why I treated men poorly. When I met dh, I was a young woman who had standards for my own conduct and expression and who could engage a man like dh, who was raised well and for whom these standards and boundaries were second nature.

Source?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I used to swear at boyfriends when I was young. When I finally encountered a man who had standars and boundaries, I realized I couldn't talk to him that way. He would not have continued dating me. I worked on myself and found intelligent ways to express my feelings, especially anger. Emotionality, cussing and yelling are low IQ and EQ behaviors. Eventually, I sought therapy to understand myself and why I carried such anger and why I treated men poorly. When I met dh, I was a young woman who had standards for my own conduct and expression and who could engage a man like dh, who was raised well and for whom these standards and boundaries were second nature.

Source?

Personal experience and observation. Take a close look at the people who act that way. They come off as stupid and low class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I swear a lot. I do not swear at people, and especially not someone I claim to love. Either you have really low standards or you treat women like garbage and think it’s nbd.

[Anonymous]

Sad that people are trying to normalize abuse. It’s quite likely those pps are abusive or be g abused themselves. You do not need to tolerate a bf disrespecting you. You - and only you - get to determine how you are treated. Why bother sticking around when there are real, legitimately great men out there. Drop the garbage off at the dump and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad that people are trying to normalize abuse. It’s quite likely those pps are abusive or be g abused themselves. You do not need to tolerate a bf disrespecting you. You - and only you - get to determine how you are treated. Why bother sticking around when there are real, legitimately great men out there. Drop the garbage off at the dump and move on.

Sad that people are trying to pathologize a single swear said without anger by labeling it "abuse" and anyone who'd utter one "an abuser". Equally sad is the posturing that some people are never disrespectful, never mess up, never act outside of perfect lines...

Saddest of all is the willingness of these allegedly "great" people to call the people they're othering "garbage", as if dehumanizing people was a non-abusive thing to do. The irony...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I swear a lot. I do not swear at people, and especially not someone I claim to love. Either you have really low standards or you treat women like garbage and think it’s nbd.

So not only are you right, but everyone whose standards aren't your standards has low standards and treats people like garbage?

The narcissism on this thread is intense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I used to swear at boyfriends when I was young. When I finally encountered a man who had standars and boundaries, I realized I couldn't talk to him that way. He would not have continued dating me. I worked on myself and found intelligent ways to express my feelings, especially anger. Emotionality, cussing and yelling are low IQ and EQ behaviors. Eventually, I sought therapy to understand myself and why I carried such anger and why I treated men poorly. When I met dh, I was a young woman who had standards for my own conduct and expression and who could engage a man like dh, who was raised well and for whom these standards and boundaries were second nature.

Source?

Personal experience and observation. Take a close look at the people who act that way. They come off as stupid and low class.

Ok cool, so you don’t know what you’re talking about. But you’ve now introduced “low class” in as well - before it was just IQ and EQ (no factual basis). It tells me you’re incredibly self conscious about being seen as smart and high class. You married this high born prince and he taught you the ways of the aristocracy or something. Lots to unpack there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sad that people are trying to normalize abuse. It’s quite likely those pps are abusive or be g abused themselves. You do not need to tolerate a bf disrespecting you. You - and only you - get to determine how you are treated. Why bother sticking around when there are real, legitimately great men out there. Drop the garbage off at the dump and move on.

Sad that people are trying to pathologize a single swear said without anger by labeling it "abuse" and anyone who'd utter one "an abuser". Equally sad is the posturing that some people are never disrespectful, never mess up, never act outside of perfect lines...

Saddest of all is the willingness of these allegedly "great" people to call the people they're othering "garbage", as if dehumanizing people was a non-abusive thing to do. The irony...

+1000

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of triggered posters and/or one relentless sock puppeting troll. This thread has gone off the rails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of triggered posters and/or one relentless sock puppeting troll. This thread has gone off the rails.

Maybe it’s hard for you to grasp, but sometimes people just disagree. It doesn’t mean they’re “triggered”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

Who are all these prissy women who never swear and consider a mere word uttered without anger such an affront to their virgin ears?!

I used to swear at boyfriends when I was young. When I finally encountered a man who had standars and boundaries, I realized I couldn't talk to him that way. He would not have continued dating me. I worked on myself and found intelligent ways to express my feelings, especially anger. Emotionality, cussing and yelling are low IQ and EQ behaviors. Eventually, I sought therapy to understand myself and why I carried such anger and why I treated men poorly. When I met dh, I was a young woman who had standards for my own conduct and expression and who could engage a man like dh, who was raised well and for whom these standards and boundaries were second nature.

Source?

Personal experience and observation. Take a close look at the people who act that way. They come off as stupid and low class.

Low class? I have been in many upper class circles and I can tell you that they are cussing a lot more than others.
Too many men with big egos.

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend of only one year and he is talking like this to you? Sorry, this is the honeymoon phase of the relationship and the red flags are his drinking, being cruel to animals, and talking disrespectfully to you (he thinks you will not leave him because you can't do better).

I am fine with heated disagreements and fine with f-bombs. A-Ok with someone saying "F'ing Trump and his f'ing cruel and insane policies" as part of a heated debate. But a boyfriend of one year saying 'shut the F up' to me...nah, I would be out of there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boyfriend of only one year and he is talking like this to you? Sorry, this is the honeymoon phase of the relationship and the red flags are his drinking, being cruel to animals, and talking disrespectfully to you (he thinks you will not leave him because you can't do better).

I am fine with heated disagreements and fine with f-bombs. A-Ok with someone saying "F'ing Trump and his f'ing cruel and insane policies" as part of a heated debate. But a boyfriend of one year saying 'shut the F up' to me...nah, I would be out of there.

So happy to see women championing other women and standing up for op. There is one very weird troll poster obsessed with making sure women stay miserable and abused, not sure what they think the flex is.