What’s the point of redshirting when it cancels out the pride factor?

Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guys who cares. The fact is, parents who redshirt their kids do it because they believe it will give their child an advantage to go to school a year late. That is their choice. It doesn’t affect you. It says something about the sort of person the parent is, and I use that information to decide if it’s really a person I’m going to like and get along with or not (usually it’s a hard no). But that’s it. Move on.


You are asking the impossible of DCUM’s anti-redshirters.

But I do a variant of the bolded myself: after reading these insane threads, if anyone says anything about being anti-redshirt in person, I stay far away from them, and when my kids were younger, I kept my kids away from them and their kids. I’ve read too many horror stories from anti-redshirt posters over the years who confessed to stuff like becoming classroom volunteers so they could gossip about kids, who encouraged their kids to be bullies to the redshirted kids, who mocked kids with disabilities, etc.

The redshirting parents in contrast were usually great, as were their kids. My kids were friends with several over the years.

As you say, it’s a datapoint. Use it and move on.


If I hear a parent badmouthing another parent or child, it’s a hard no for me. If another child is a problem, like bullying or calling names, I deal directly with the school and don’t discuss with parents.

The anti redshirting stuff peddled here would quickly isolate that parent socially, and my child went on time.


Agree. That sort of behavior does isolate parents. The person I can think of who was the loudest about anti-redshirting when my kids were in elementary was widely disliked. Nobody likes a parent who gossips about children.


There is no good reason to hold kids back except severe sn. Usually it is the older kids who bully.


Found the anti-redshirt parent everyone else hates because of how she gossips about kids!


Why would we gossip? You do you. Just don’t expect us to praise your kid when they are not in the right grade and a year or two or more older. Sorry you cannot support your young child.


I didn’t redshirt and have a young for grade child.

I have no idea why you people gossip. None of the rest of the parents want to talk with you because you gossip about children. You’d have to ask your fellow anti-redshirters why you people gossip so much about other people’s children. The rest of us have no idea why you do it, we just know we have to keep our kids away from you.


People gossip. It has nothing to do with holding back. They especially gossip about the bullies who are usually the older kids or that was our experience.


No, actually, most people do not gossip about children. They view it as distasteful and tacky. However, you and the other poorly socialized anti-redshirters do gossip about children, which is why you all tend to be disliked by other parents, and are avoided by most other classroom parents.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am only bothered by redshirting because I live in a place with strict rules against it. Which you think would just mean no redshirting. Instead what it means is that some parents fight tooth and nail to redshirt their kids and the school district, despite strict rules, lets them just to get them to shut up. But if you're not very well resourced and the sort of person who just does not believe rules apply to you, redshirting is not available to you.

I would vastly prefer a system like some school districts have where there is a grace period within which parents can choose whether to send their kid to K, usually for summer and early fall birthdays. And then people just decided what made the most sense for their kid.

Instead the system feels unfair because only the kids who already have a ton of resources, and who have the parents most willing and able to complain loudly when unhappy, have access to redshirting. That feeling of there being two systems sparks a lot of resentment.


+1. I was a July birthday and was in a system like this. Made a lot of sense to be flexible. Of course, back then no one worried this much about it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


No, in md you cannot get your license till 16.5. So, if you have a fall birthday that puts you in the spring. Do the math. Was your child held back?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guys who cares. The fact is, parents who redshirt their kids do it because they believe it will give their child an advantage to go to school a year late. That is their choice. It doesn’t affect you. It says something about the sort of person the parent is, and I use that information to decide if it’s really a person I’m going to like and get along with or not (usually it’s a hard no). But that’s it. Move on.


You are asking the impossible of DCUM’s anti-redshirters.

But I do a variant of the bolded myself: after reading these insane threads, if anyone says anything about being anti-redshirt in person, I stay far away from them, and when my kids were younger, I kept my kids away from them and their kids. I’ve read too many horror stories from anti-redshirt posters over the years who confessed to stuff like becoming classroom volunteers so they could gossip about kids, who encouraged their kids to be bullies to the redshirted kids, who mocked kids with disabilities, etc.

The redshirting parents in contrast were usually great, as were their kids. My kids were friends with several over the years.

As you say, it’s a datapoint. Use it and move on.


If I hear a parent badmouthing another parent or child, it’s a hard no for me. If another child is a problem, like bullying or calling names, I deal directly with the school and don’t discuss with parents.

The anti redshirting stuff peddled here would quickly isolate that parent socially, and my child went on time.


Agree. That sort of behavior does isolate parents. The person I can think of who was the loudest about anti-redshirting when my kids were in elementary was widely disliked. Nobody likes a parent who gossips about children.


There is no good reason to hold kids back except severe sn. Usually it is the older kids who bully.


Found the anti-redshirt parent everyone else hates because of how she gossips about kids!


Why would we gossip? You do you. Just don’t expect us to praise your kid when they are not in the right grade and a year or two or more older. Sorry you cannot support your young child.


I didn’t redshirt and have a young for grade child.

I have no idea why you people gossip. None of the rest of the parents want to talk with you because you gossip about children. You’d have to ask your fellow anti-redshirters why you people gossip so much about other people’s children. The rest of us have no idea why you do it, we just know we have to keep our kids away from you.


People gossip. It has nothing to do with holding back. They especially gossip about the bullies who are usually the older kids or that was our experience.


No, actually, most people do not gossip about children. They view it as distasteful and tacky. However, you and the other poorly socialized anti-redshirters do gossip about children, which is why you all tend to be disliked by other parents, and are avoided by most other classroom parents.


Of course they do. We get comments all the time when we meet parents. But our kid was bullied as a freshman from some seniors as they were in the same class and mine was more talented. You ok with that?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


No, in md you cannot get your license till 16.5. So, if you have a fall birthday that puts you in the spring. Do the math. Was your child held back?


I can see how a young for grade kid could not be eligible for a license until end of junior year but it would be a pretty unusual set of circumstances: a state with a late license age (16.5 or 17), a very late fall kindergarten cutoff, and a child born exactly at the cutoff.

If the PP in MD had a kid born Aug 30 (cutoff is Sept 1 in MD) and sent on time then that kid could get her license earliest March 1, age 16.5. So, not quite end of junior year as the PP said, but getting there.

My kid is currently a sophomore in HS. Young for grade, sent on time. Will turn 16 in late June, is currently 15. Our state is 16 for licenses so my kid will have a license this summer and all of junior year.

So, I think it is theoretically possible for a young for grade kid who is sent on time to not be DL-eligible until end of junior year, but it’s probably not a very common occurrence.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


No, in md you cannot get your license till 16.5. So, if you have a fall birthday that puts you in the spring. Do the math. Was your child held back?


I can see how a young for grade kid could not be eligible for a license until end of junior year but it would be a pretty unusual set of circumstances: a state with a late license age (16.5 or 17), a very late fall kindergarten cutoff, and a child born exactly at the cutoff.

If the PP in MD had a kid born Aug 30 (cutoff is Sept 1 in MD) and sent on time then that kid could get her license earliest March 1, age 16.5. So, not quite end of junior year as the PP said, but getting there.

My kid is currently a sophomore in HS. Young for grade, sent on time. Will turn 16 in late June, is currently 15. Our state is 16 for licenses so my kid will have a license this summer and all of junior year.

So, I think it is theoretically possible for a young for grade kid who is sent on time to not be DL-eligible until end of junior year, but it’s probably not a very common occurrence.


In MD you can test in through 10-15. Be accurate. Your child is not young for the grade. They are a normal age for a sophomore. My sophomore does not turn 16 till the fall. So, after April and that is basically the end of the year.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


That PP is posting from NY or some of the NYC suburbs that have a full year school cutoff - Jan. 1 kids are the oldest, Dec. 31 kids are the youngest, and kids with fall birthdays September-December are 4 when they start K and turn 5 a few months into the school year, 16 as HS seniors and turn 17 during the school year. She is a known extreme anti-redshirter who believes everyone should be like NY, if you hold your kid out of K they should just jump right to 1st or 2nd or whatever when you do enroll them, and also staunchly refuses to recognize the fact that the entire rest of the US does not do it this way. Also that NYC and surrounding area private schools routinely use an earlier cutoff - my friend’s kids are at a ritzy CT private, they are twins with fall birthdays in October, and they waited a year to start school as is the custom at their private school. Meaning they started K at 5 turning 6 a month into the school year, as we do it here in the DC area.
Anonymous
I think there are very reasonable reasons to consider redshirting but as with anything it gets ruined by the people on the fringes. I have a friend with a super intelligent child with a July birthday who redshirted their child due to immaturity (questionable in my book given his ability). So you now have a super intelligent kid who probably would have been ahead of grade level now effectively 2 grade levels ahead - how to teach this variance in ability is really a massive challenge and difficult.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


No, in md you cannot get your license till 16.5. So, if you have a fall birthday that puts you in the spring. Do the math. Was your child held back?


I can see how a young for grade kid could not be eligible for a license until end of junior year but it would be a pretty unusual set of circumstances: a state with a late license age (16.5 or 17), a very late fall kindergarten cutoff, and a child born exactly at the cutoff.

If the PP in MD had a kid born Aug 30 (cutoff is Sept 1 in MD) and sent on time then that kid could get her license earliest March 1, age 16.5. So, not quite end of junior year as the PP said, but getting there.

My kid is currently a sophomore in HS. Young for grade, sent on time. Will turn 16 in late June, is currently 15. Our state is 16 for licenses so my kid will have a license this summer and all of junior year.

So, I think it is theoretically possible for a young for grade kid who is sent on time to not be DL-eligible until end of junior year, but it’s probably not a very common occurrence.


In MD you can test in through 10-15. Be accurate. Your child is not young for the grade. They are a normal age for a sophomore. My sophomore does not turn 16 till the fall. So, after April and that is basically the end of the year.


Testing in is unusual. So, your kid not belong eligible for a license until latest April 15 is indeed a rare situation.

Also it is so extremely odd that you believe all DCUM posters have the exact cutoff as MD. So weird.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


That PP is posting from NY or some of the NYC suburbs that have a full year school cutoff - Jan. 1 kids are the oldest, Dec. 31 kids are the youngest, and kids with fall birthdays September-December are 4 when they start K and turn 5 a few months into the school year, 16 as HS seniors and turn 17 during the school year. She is a known extreme anti-redshirter who believes everyone should be like NY, if you hold your kid out of K they should just jump right to 1st or 2nd or whatever when you do enroll them, and also staunchly refuses to recognize the fact that the entire rest of the US does not do it this way. Also that NYC and surrounding area private schools routinely use an earlier cutoff - my friend’s kids are at a ritzy CT private, they are twins with fall birthdays in October, and they waited a year to start school as is the custom at their private school. Meaning they started K at 5 turning 6 a month into the school year, as we do it here in the DC area.


Got it. I thought she sounded crazy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


That PP is posting from NY or some of the NYC suburbs that have a full year school cutoff - Jan. 1 kids are the oldest, Dec. 31 kids are the youngest, and kids with fall birthdays September-December are 4 when they start K and turn 5 a few months into the school year, 16 as HS seniors and turn 17 during the school year. She is a known extreme anti-redshirter who believes everyone should be like NY, if you hold your kid out of K they should just jump right to 1st or 2nd or whatever when you do enroll them, and also staunchly refuses to recognize the fact that the entire rest of the US does not do it this way. Also that NYC and surrounding area private schools routinely use an earlier cutoff - my friend’s kids are at a ritzy CT private, they are twins with fall birthdays in October, and they waited a year to start school as is the custom at their private school. Meaning they started K at 5 turning 6 a month into the school year, as we do it here in the DC area.


What are you talking about? My fall child is in this area. Why are you so set on pushing everyone to hold back their kids to justify your choice. If it’s right for your kid, what is the issue? But, understand it impacts our kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


No, in md you cannot get your license till 16.5. So, if you have a fall birthday that puts you in the spring. Do the math. Was your child held back?


I can see how a young for grade kid could not be eligible for a license until end of junior year but it would be a pretty unusual set of circumstances: a state with a late license age (16.5 or 17), a very late fall kindergarten cutoff, and a child born exactly at the cutoff.

If the PP in MD had a kid born Aug 30 (cutoff is Sept 1 in MD) and sent on time then that kid could get her license earliest March 1, age 16.5. So, not quite end of junior year as the PP said, but getting there.

My kid is currently a sophomore in HS. Young for grade, sent on time. Will turn 16 in late June, is currently 15. Our state is 16 for licenses so my kid will have a license this summer and all of junior year.

So, I think it is theoretically possible for a young for grade kid who is sent on time to not be DL-eligible until end of junior year, but it’s probably not a very common occurrence.


In MD you can test in through 10-15. Be accurate. Your child is not young for the grade. They are a normal age for a sophomore. My sophomore does not turn 16 till the fall. So, after April and that is basically the end of the year.


Testing in is unusual. So, your kid not belong eligible for a license until latest April 15 is indeed a rare situation.

Also it is so extremely odd that you believe all DCUM posters have the exact cutoff as MD. So weird.


Other schools in the area are 9/30 so September kids are on time. It’s not unusual at all for kids to test in or got to private k-1st and then transfer to public. Only rich families, it’s generally hold their kids back to get into the privates. The privates cannot handle age appropriate kids which speaks volumes of their schools. I don’t know any summer birthdays in public who were held back a year. Only kids I know held back had severe special needs and they did it to get into more private therapies.

June-August kids are not young for the grade and are supposed to be in that grade.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think there are very reasonable reasons to consider redshirting but as with anything it gets ruined by the people on the fringes. I have a friend with a super intelligent child with a July birthday who redshirted their child due to immaturity (questionable in my book given his ability). So you now have a super intelligent kid who probably would have been ahead of grade level now effectively 2 grade levels ahead - how to teach this variance in ability is really a massive challenge and difficult.


Immaturity means nothing at five. Kids are not supposed to be mature and a structured school program can help with that. My kid is very ahead being the youngest. I cannot imagine academically holding back.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We held back or DS at pre-K. Applied for him to attend a school as either pre-k or k, and he was admitted for pre-k. We decided to take the offer as we loved the school and I liked the idea of his being home an extra year and his having his license to drive on the early side. He’s now a junior in college and all turned out well.


He’d have his license on the later side if he went on time. My young for the grade does not get their license till the end of junior year.


Wait, what? Did your child skip a grade? Or are you in NJ (only state with license at 17)? I have a true young-for-grade kid (late spring birthday, sent on time) and my kid could get a full license by late spring of sophomore year. I don’t understand how the bolded works.


That PP is posting from NY or some of the NYC suburbs that have a full year school cutoff - Jan. 1 kids are the oldest, Dec. 31 kids are the youngest, and kids with fall birthdays September-December are 4 when they start K and turn 5 a few months into the school year, 16 as HS seniors and turn 17 during the school year. She is a known extreme anti-redshirter who believes everyone should be like NY, if you hold your kid out of K they should just jump right to 1st or 2nd or whatever when you do enroll them, and also staunchly refuses to recognize the fact that the entire rest of the US does not do it this way. Also that NYC and surrounding area private schools routinely use an earlier cutoff - my friend’s kids are at a ritzy CT private, they are twins with fall birthdays in October, and they waited a year to start school as is the custom at their private school. Meaning they started K at 5 turning 6 a month into the school year, as we do it here in the DC area.


What are you talking about? My fall child is in this area. Why are you so set on pushing everyone to hold back their kids to justify your choice. If it’s right for your kid, what is the issue? But, understand it impacts our kids.


No, it doesn’t. You don’t speak for the rest of us normal parents, you lunatic.

- Non-redshirting parent.
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