I got called a doormat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 is hardly old to have another kid, especially around here. Second at 37. Sex one time. Many people here have first, second and third kids between 35-42.

yeah but its not a given

OP here. My doctor said I was a geriatric pregnancy because I was 35 when I gave birth. She said any subsequent births will be geriatric and considered high risk because of age.

Read more. The geriatric thing is outdated. Yeah, they said that to me 13 years ago. Everyone I know was “geriatric.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, it's a bunch of bitter, feminist, man-hating angry women on her for which a man can never do anything right unless he is completely subject her will and always caters to her desires.

Not the place for healthy, proper, well-adjusted relationship advice or perspective, but all good if you're having a bit of fun.

Very true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 is hardly old to have another kid, especially around here. Second at 37. Sex one time. Many people here have first, second and third kids between 35-42.

yeah but its not a given

OP here. My doctor said I was a geriatric pregnancy because I was 35 when I gave birth. She said any subsequent births will be geriatric and considered high risk because of age.

Uh, do you live in the DMV? Tons of pregnancies over 35.

Women living in the DMV having kids over 35 doesn’t make it less any geriatric. It’s not like a geriatric pregnancy is based on location. Many doctors encourage women to get pregnant 35+ but there are still higher risks because of age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked to hear someone is a great parent but they only see their child 2/7 days out of the week. Yikes. Op sounds delusional quite frankly. This guy doesn’t sound “amazing” at all, but if op is happy that’s ultimately what matters.

I think divorced dads see their kids more than ops husband.

OP here. My marriage is happy while you all complain daily how you hate your husbands and want to cheat.

Not PP but I'm happily married, love my husband very much, and have never wanted to cheat on him, but I think you're insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your plan is to go to work full time and still take care of baby and house and food all 100%, I think your friends were right, too. But being a happy doormat isn’t a bad life, if that’s what you want.

I’m not going back to work FT. I was asked if I worked or something like that and I said I did. I’ve worked FT until I went on maternity leave. I will be working from home PT.

My husband is amazing. He works really hard and that’s why I was able to take an extended maternity leave and now work PT. He encourages me to take time for myself like going to get my hair done, get a message, go on trip with friends. I don’t worry about taking out the trash or any outside work or repairs because he handles it all.

What is your childcare plan when you are working from home part time?

I was able to take four months of maternity leave because I saved my leave and planned ahead, not because I was dependent on a man to pay for it. I'm happily married (15 years) and my husband is my equal partner in all ways so I'm not jealous of your set up (it actually sounds dangerous because you're going to be financially dependent on this guy).

Your post just sounds very 1950s to me. If that works for you, then that's fine. I just hope you're protected in all ways should he decide he no longer wants to be married to you.

OP here. I am more traditional and I don’t mind it. I like my career but I’ve always wanted to be a wife and a mother first.

I will be going back to work 20 hours a week. We have lots of family help.

My husband won’t F me over but I’m good. I came into the marriage with a large savings account that I worked for since I was a teen. I’ve invested some and kept the other in a savings account. He told me to keep it for myself. We used joint funds from me working and his savings to buy our home. My name is on everything. I fully trust my husband.

Why are you trying to make it out like you’re a little baby and he’s taking care of you? You say here that you are paying/paid for the house, but you keep using verbiage that HE bought YOU a house? Why do you use language that robs you of your adult agency? Trying to remain childlike is such a weird flex

He bought her a car, too! He's such a dreamboat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 is hardly old to have another kid, especially around here. Second at 37. Sex one time. Many people here have first, second and third kids between 35-42.

yeah but its not a given

OP here. My doctor said I was a geriatric pregnancy because I was 35 when I gave birth. She said any subsequent births will be geriatric and considered high risk because of age.

And? You sound not very smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, it's a bunch of bitter, feminist, man-hating angry women on her for which a man can never do anything right unless he is completely subject her will and always caters to her desires.

Not the place for healthy, proper, well-adjusted relationship advice or perspective, but all good if you're having a bit of fun.

Very true.

I literally can not read this paragraph with all of its adjectives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, it's a bunch of bitter, feminist, man-hating angry women on her for which a man can never do anything right unless he is completely subject her will and always caters to her desires.

Not the place for healthy, proper, well-adjusted relationship advice or perspective, but all good if you're having a bit of fun.

Very true.

That paste was cut off . The passage that describes “bunch of..””


I literally can not read this paragraph with all of its adjectives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 is hardly old to have another kid, especially around here. Second at 37. Sex one time. Many people here have first, second and third kids between 35-42.

yeah but its not a given

OP here. My doctor said I was a geriatric pregnancy because I was 35 when I gave birth. She said any subsequent births will be geriatric and considered high risk because of age.

Uh, do you live in the DMV? Tons of pregnancies over 35.

Women living in the DMV having kids over 35 doesn’t make it less any geriatric. It’s not like a geriatric pregnancy is based on location. Many doctors encourage women to get pregnant 35+ but there are still higher risks because of age.

Ok? Way to miss the point.

[Anonymous]

The term geriatric pregnancy is considered outdated now and advanced maternal age is the preferred term, refers to pregnancy after 35 or beyond and while risks do increase, many women over 35 have healthy pregnancies and babies, more likely if they are multiparous and already had a successful pregnancy. There are fertility treatments and of course donor eggs/sperms/embryos and surrogates to increase your odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 is hardly old to have another kid, especially around here. Second at 37. Sex one time. Many people here have first, second and third kids between 35-42.

yeah but its not a given

OP here. My doctor said I was a geriatric pregnancy because I was 35 when I gave birth. She said any subsequent births will be geriatric and considered high risk because of age.

Uh, do you live in the DMV? Tons of pregnancies over 35.

Women living in the DMV having kids over 35 doesn’t make it less any geriatric. It’s not like a geriatric pregnancy is based on location. Many doctors encourage women to get pregnant 35+ but there are still higher risks because of age.

Obviously doctors encourage because its a very lucrative industry and if you are willing to take the risk and give the money, why would doctors discourage you? It's their job to help.

[Anonymous]

How do women who do the vast majority of the housework, childcare, life management, etc. for their grown ass husbands who behave like entitled man children ever feel attracted to them enough again to want to suck them off or do anything really sexy with them?

That's the mental block for me. I 'get' that we women are socially conditioned to be caregivers and to acquiesce more than we demand, but every relationship I ever had I thought that role was nice for like . . . ten minutes, then I began to resent all the leisure time he had purchased by my labor both physical and emotional and I would soon begin to find him more than a little . . . repulsive.

I guess this is patriarchy, but I'm one of the women who doesn't feel compelled to accept it. I'm not saying my life is one long carefree picnic because it's not - it can be SO much harder to be a single woman standing on her own two feet with no support from a spouse or former spouse - but I love that I haven't been anybody's house servant for any portion of my adult life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do women who do the vast majority of the housework, childcare, life management, etc. for their grown ass husbands who behave like entitled man children ever feel attracted to them enough again to want to suck them off or do anything really sexy with them?

That's the mental block for me. I 'get' that we women are socially conditioned to be caregivers and to acquiesce more than we demand, but every relationship I ever had I thought that role was nice for like . . . ten minutes, then I began to resent all the leisure time he had purchased by my labor both physical and emotional and I would soon begin to find him more than a little . . . repulsive.

I guess this is patriarchy, but I'm one of the women who doesn't feel compelled to accept it. I'm not saying my life is one long carefree picnic because it's not - it can be SO much harder to be a single woman standing on her own two feet with no support from a spouse or former spouse - but I love that I haven't been anybody's house servant for any portion of my adult life.

You just have to find someone you love enough to spoil without caring about reciprocation and they feel and do the same. Without that a couple is just a pair of two narcissists in a transactional situationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 is hardly old to have another kid, especially around here. Second at 37. Sex one time. Many people here have first, second and third kids between 35-42.

yeah but its not a given

OP here. My doctor said I was a geriatric pregnancy because I was 35 when I gave birth. She said any subsequent births will be geriatric and considered high risk because of age.

Uh, do you live in the DMV? Tons of pregnancies over 35.

Women living in the DMV having kids over 35 doesn’t make it less any geriatric. It’s not like a geriatric pregnancy is based on location. Many doctors encourage women to get pregnant 35+ but there are still higher risks because of age.

The "risks" don't significantly rise until over age 40. There is plenty of research on this. I've read it. There are also plenty of articles that say the fertility cliff at 35 is BS and based on data from the 1700s. (I was pregnant from one time at 37 when I did not want to be pregnant in another state. Everyone I know there had first kids 35-42...just like here.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Cry harder folks.

Ok so you're entirely too much in the right-leaning online world. That's your main problem.

Explain again how he managed to buy you a house with your money, because I still don't understand it.

Bought a house with her money and put his name on the title.

She got scammed!

OP here. My name is on the house and all accounts.

Some people are being rude on here.

I have my own savings before marriage and some of my salary tucked away that is hate mine. The salary I’ve been earning since marriage has gone into a savings account. My husband used his money ( I know it’s our money) to buy the home for us. He bought me a car and paid for our wedding on his own.

It’s our money but I say he bought me a house have he wanted a different home but settled to make me happy. Both of our names are on the deed and on all accounts.

That's not what you said before. You said it was paid for partially with your earnings. Why are you changing the story?

And why can't you say "he went with the house I preferred" or literally anything more accurate than the fictional story that you're telling about Mr Benevolent Patriarch?

OP here. I said he paid for the house with savings. You guys fan with it that I paid to because I put my salary into savings. Different savings accounts.

In the last post on page 7, you said "We used joint funds from me working and his savings to buy our home." And since he is joint owner of the home, he half owns it, so at best he partially "bought you" less than half a home. So for you to say he bought you a home is untrue. Why do you feel the need to say it? He agreed to exchange joint assets for a different joint asset, and he deferred to you on aesthetics because he doesn't really care about that. That's nice, but it's not really that big a deal. Stop acting like he's the Prince of Manly Generosity. He's a regular man who is nice to his wife.

If you grew up in a socially conservative culture you might not realize how weird this constant catering to the male ego seems to people who didn't grow up that way. Men might like it if they're young or insecure, and there's always some face-saving rationale when challenged, like that the wife is "the neck that turns the head". But not everyone goes for that kind of thing. It seems like you went on vacation with women who aren't used to this kind of thing and find it disingenuous and off-putting and they were a little grossed out by your Surrendered Wife routine and wanted to warn you that it can have some real down sides.

The bar for men is literally in the ground, and some still show up with a shovel. I’m glad she has a nice person as her partner, but yeah, doing the bare minimum (or receiving it) should not be aspirational.