DUI and Death on Harrison

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as we’re talking about underage drinking, I’m curious to know what coaches are doing about it. Do athletes actually follow the no substance rules, or is it all with a wink and a nod and just laughing it off as a rite of passage? Also, what behavior is being modeled at home?

The athletes are the biggest drinkers. The coaches do nothing. That’s reality.

Looking at you, laxbros. The sport is a den of misogyny and depravity.

[Anonymous]

Anyone know what happened this morning? His court date was at 9am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such a horribly sad situation. I live in Arlington and have many 2nd and 3rd degree connections with both families. These are good kids we’re talking about! As are most kids, partiers or not. My heart breaks for all concerned. Of course the deceased boy’s parents most of all. He was an only child and a smart, kind young man. Why do our smart kind young men put themselves in these situations?

Omg this is devastating. His poor parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids should already know not to drink and drive (call uber or parents!) but the last couple of deaths should highlight the importance of also wearing your seatbelt and not making illegal u-turns.

Enough with putting “illegal U-turns” out there as the reason for the previous tragedy. Nobody should assume a drunk driver going 3x the speed limit is going to fly down the road and kill them. That’s like saying we should all just know not to drive on that road at night because of all the lunatic drunk drivers. The u-turn was not and never will be what caused that tragedy.

It wasn't the only reason but it was absolutely a contributing factor.

People are always weighing risk/benefit. There are some really easy choices that will reduce your risk of dying in your car: wear your seatbelt. Don't drive like crap and put your car in places it isn't supposed to be, like a u-turn at the intersection of major roads or sitting in the lane of oncoming traffic.

These choices are just as important as not drinking and driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

It is very appropriately more about the deadly consequences of drinking and driving, and by underaged young adults.

Wearing seatbelts are just as important, as demonstrated by this tragedy.

The people who blow off not wearing seatbelts sound just as bad as the people blowing off driving under the influence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such a horribly sad situation. I live in Arlington and have many 2nd and 3rd degree connections with both families. These are good kids we’re talking about! As are most kids, partiers or not. My heart breaks for all concerned. Of course the deceased boy’s parents most of all. He was an only child and a smart, kind young man. Why do our smart kind young men put themselves in these situations?

Omg this is devastating. His poor parents.

It would be somehow less devastating if he had siblings and didn't do as well in school?

WTF is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The is a horrible situation for all the families. The driver will have to live with this forever. There is also a family who is missing their dear son forever. Long after DCUM posters who write things they would not say face to face move into another topic ..these families will still be grieving. I wish people thought a little more before typing something toxic.

I am perfectly happy to say that DUI isn't handled the way it should be in the US to anyone's face. It's never acceptable to be driving impaired. However, we give it a pass because it's as apparently some sort of right of passage. So many people posting on this thread, "I drove drunk all the time when I was underage and it was fine." That doesn't make this behavior acceptable.

I see ZERO people in here giving this a pass. I think you are mistaking compassion for excusal. Nobody in here is saying what these kids did is okay, or that anyone who does this should get a pass, or that it's a common mistake so it shouldn't be a big deal when it happens.

I just see people saying that they understand how it could happen because they have seen their own kids do stupid things -- not that that that understanding alone is enough and the kids should all just move on as though nothing has happened. I see people sad because lives are ruined. I see people not wanting to kick a horse when it's already down.

You keep willfully misunderstanding people's good intentions here. It's weird and sad.

This is the part that is disingenuous to me and what I see people pushing back against. Are we really holding ourselves accountable as a community for what we as adults allow to go on with these kids? Let's leave the kids out of it. They are children and then teens and then barely legal adults and it is our responsibility to raise them. I don't think it's weird or sad to push on this particular part of the topic. I get it that it's uncomfortable. When is the right time? The aftermath of an accident is not a great time but also that's when people are paying attention at all. Will it be back to business as usual in a couple of weekends? I really fear it will be.

[Anonymous]

No bond. Next court date is in two months. this is public info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such a horribly sad situation. I live in Arlington and have many 2nd and 3rd degree connections with both families. These are good kids we’re talking about! As are most kids, partiers or not. My heart breaks for all concerned. Of course the deceased boy’s parents most of all. He was an only child and a smart, kind young man. Why do our smart kind young men put themselves in these situations?

Omg this is devastating. His poor parents.

It would be somehow less devastating if he had siblings and didn't do as well in school?

WTF is wrong with you?

It’s the only child part that gets me. Perhaps because I’m an only child myself I’ve always felt like my parents put all their eggs in one basket so to speak and have known they’d have no one else to parent if something happened to me.

With multiple kids you still have other kids to actively parent and possibly have grandkids some day. If you lose your only child (or all of your children) everything you’ve invested in as a parent is just gone overnight.

But yes even with still living children it’s exceptionally heartbreaking. I would be devastated at losing any of my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such a horribly sad situation. I live in Arlington and have many 2nd and 3rd degree connections with both families. These are good kids we’re talking about! As are most kids, partiers or not. My heart breaks for all concerned. Of course the deceased boy’s parents most of all. He was an only child and a smart, kind young man. Why do our smart kind young men put themselves in these situations?

Omg this is devastating. His poor parents.

It would be somehow less devastating if he had siblings and didn't do as well in school?

WTF is wrong with you?

It’s the only child part that gets me. Perhaps because I’m an only child myself I’ve always felt like my parents put all their eggs in one basket so to speak and have known they’d have no one else to parent if something happened to me.

With multiple kids you still have other kids to actively parent and possibly have grandkids some day. If you lose your only child (or all of your children) everything you’ve invested in as a parent is just gone overnight.

But yes even with still living children it’s exceptionally heartbreaking. I would be devastated at losing any of my kids.

I lost a sibling in a similar manner when we were young but out of college. It was and still is, devastating decades later. No amount of punishment for the person at fault would have changed anything. They were gone. My parents cried for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone know what happened this morning? His court date was at 9am.

He was arraigned this morning and the preliminary hearing Dec. 16. He's still in custody.

I'm sure his lawyer is filing for a bond hearing unless they also did that this morning and the general district judge still did not grant bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No bond. Next court date is in two months. this is public info.

Does that mean he stays in jail until the court date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

It is very appropriately more about the deadly consequences of drinking and driving, and by underaged young adults.

Wearing seatbelts are just as important, as demonstrated by this tragedy.

The people who blow off not wearing seatbelts sound just as bad as the people blowing off driving under the influence.

I saw the aftermath of a pretty low-speed impact near Dulles airport a few years ago (on Ariane Way - back way into the airport) that was pretty horrific. A driver not paying attention hit the line of cars stopped at the redlight. The driver of one of the cars in the lineup that was hit was not wearing his seatbelt. It appeared he had it buckled and was sitting on it. His head hit the front windshield and he had a pretty traumatic injury from the impact of a car going ~40-45 mph. He was the only driver that needed transported that day, and I often wonder what happened to him. The sounds he was making and the way his head looked is something I will never forget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No bond. Next court date is in two months. this is public info.

Does that mean he stays in jail until the court date?

If the judge denied bond this morning, his lawyer can petition a higher court for a bond hearing. But yes, for now, he's in jail. And if the higher court denies bond, he'll stay in jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The is a horrible situation for all the families. The driver will have to live with this forever. There is also a family who is missing their dear son forever. Long after DCUM posters who write things they would not say face to face move into another topic ..these families will still be grieving. I wish people thought a little more before typing something toxic.

I am perfectly happy to say that DUI isn't handled the way it should be in the US to anyone's face. It's never acceptable to be driving impaired. However, we give it a pass because it's as apparently some sort of right of passage. So many people posting on this thread, "I drove drunk all the time when I was underage and it was fine." That doesn't make this behavior acceptable.

I see ZERO people in here giving this a pass. I think you are mistaking compassion for excusal. Nobody in here is saying what these kids did is okay, or that anyone who does this should get a pass, or that it's a common mistake so it shouldn't be a big deal when it happens.

I just see people saying that they understand how it could happen because they have seen their own kids do stupid things -- not that that that understanding alone is enough and the kids should all just move on as though nothing has happened. I see people sad because lives are ruined. I see people not wanting to kick a horse when it's already down.

You keep willfully misunderstanding people's good intentions here. It's weird and sad.

This is the part that is disingenuous to me and what I see people pushing back against. Are we really holding ourselves accountable as a community for what we as adults allow to go on with these kids? Let's leave the kids out of it. They are children and then teens and then barely legal adults and it is our responsibility to raise them. I don't think it's weird or sad to push on this particular part of the topic. I get it that it's uncomfortable. When is the right time? The aftermath of an accident is not a great time but also that's when people are paying attention at all. Will it be back to business as usual in a couple of weekends? I really fear it will be.

When I said above that "I just see people saying that they understand how it could happen because they have seen their own kids do stupid things," I meant that I have seen my own kids start to cross the street without looking, or open their car door into a busy street, or lie about having brushed their teeth before bedtime. I mean that fully sober kids do not always think things through. I haven't ever seen my kids drink or do drugs, but sure I guess I'm being "disingenuous" about my own communal accountability for ... I'm not sure what, exactly, but I guess DUI accidents.

You are reading things that I don't mean into what I am saying. Unless you really mean that seeing my kids do unrelated idiotic things makes me responsible and I should be doing more. But even there, you don't know what I am already doing or what conversations I've already had.

If you are the same poster who was earlier talking about some parents letting their kids drink and thinking that some kids participated in this sort of activity more than other kids and yourself not being very surprised by the result, I would encourage you to take a break from patting yourself on the back for a few minutes. I also have kids that (for now at least) do not drink or do drugs, but I know a big part of this is luck and not necessarily my exceptional parenting, and that if my kids did start to do this, I might not know or be able to stop them every time.