High Value Man - AMA

[Anonymous]

OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Okay, I'll bite:

1) What is your biggest fear, and how much of your life is spent/has been spent trying to avoid it?

My biggest fear is dying young and leaving those close to me vulnerable. I've tried to pay close attention to fitness and diet. In some senses I have not been great at avoiding certain aspects of this, because I deal with a lot of stress. This weighs on me a lot.

2) What has been your greatest joy in your 30(ish) years on the planet so far?

Honestly, I really enjoyed college. It was a time of a lot of learning and growth and I had a great deal of exposure to some incredibly talented and bright people from very different walks of life. It's very tough to recreate that dynamic and freedom in the working world. Beyond that, I get a tremendous amount of joy from investing in friends and family and watching them blossom. I'm a bit selfish in that I like to see the tangible fruits of my "investments". Seeing that sort of thing up close and personal is more appealing to me than contributing to some macro cause on which I probably won't make a dent.

3) If money were no issue, where would you live, what would you do there, and why?

I like Capetown a lot, but it would probably be somewhere in the States that is a smaller town but with a major city close by. I would read and write more and cultivate hobbies that I have forgone. I would also try to recreate the vibe I mention in the previous answer with friends and interesting people just getting together and talking. I would also try to get really immersed in a smaller community. This is something that is increasingly lacking with increased geographic mobility in modern society. I don't think money will be the limiting or determinative factor though. It will be the degree to which I can scale back ambition.

4) Do you have any pets? If so, plz describe.

No pets.

Answers in italics.

Critical f/u Q: Why no pets?

Just no desire to have one and travel obligations.

Nope. Sorry. No "high value" person has zero desire to have a pet, especially with the "I get a tremendous amount of joy from investing in friends and family and watching them blossom. I'm a bit selfish in that I like to see the tangible fruits of my "investments"" mentality.

Travel, I get, but a high-value man makes enough money to afford boarding or in-home care for a pet, or would at least have a "maybe when my lifestyle calms a bit" approach. But "no desire"? Red flag. Having a pet is a much better predictor of emotional capacity than your "sixes".

Then again, "high value" is kinda like "expert". When accurate, it's a title given to you by others. Very few self-proclaimed HV men really are, at least by the metrics most would use. But your skewed metric was also disclosed by your "sixes" comment.

Good luck with your "high value" lifestyle, though.

This is quite silly. Not everyone has the same preferences as you. Get over it. You seem to suffer from solipsism.

Nah, bruh. It's just a quick test to see how you'd treat things you can't fsck or profit from. You don't have to have the same preferences I do. You do need better reasons than you gave, which are sus. You may be a decent person w/o pets, but it raises questions and your ongoing replies support my original theory.

Your "test" is silly. If you prefer that in the people you date, enjoy. Stop centering yourself and imposing your values and preferences on everyone. It's not a good look.

I do enjoy silliness in my partners, yes. A sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to life is usually enjoyable. I am not "imposing my values and preferences on everyone". I have preferences, and you wouldn't meet them (which is fine). That you're now getting nasty and defensive is the third strike. Not being able to handle a difference in opinion/approach without nastiness is a hard stop for me in a potential partner. We're going to have conflicts, and if your response to them is default to big word namecalling before emotionally/mentally short-circuiting, we won't get through them.

A truly high-value man, one who had done some therapy and acquired greater emotional intelligence, would already know that.

If you are on the market, start a thread about what you prefer in a partner and maybe some magic will happen for you. I am not your therapist; nor do I particularly care what you look for in a partner. This may come as a shock to you, but different women prefer different things and you and your preferences are not the center of the universe. I am. (JK)

Not only are you not my therapist, your continued defensiveness strongly suggests you don't have one of your own, or even the emotional competence to know you need one.

You started a thread calling yourself a high-value man. You have shown yourself to be distinctly less than. I suppose it's a valuable lesson to single women reading it, in that it's pointing out the tells and making your nonsense pretty clear. Of course, as several posters have already said, the use of "high value", "alpha", "lion" and the like should immediately raise a few flags.

That you keep taking personal swings at anyone who disagrees with your self-assessment is the most revealing component of this little "social experiment" you started. I, for one, appreciate the ability to dissect one of you so-called HVMs in real time. The implosion is impressive.

You want so badly for me to be bent out of shape. It's a little strange. Stop it. Behave.

Op is so gross 🤢 🤮
Every post more clearly demonstrates how low value they are. But of course someone who is this full of themselves and isn’t even married is… a stretch to begin with.

Nothing wrong with a little decorum. Derailing is not nice behavior.

Is your behavior, insulting women on a mommy website and telling them to "behave" the decorum you mean? That's a bizarre projection on your part.

Yes, derailing typically runs afoul of behavior that people like to see on forums.

You may be OP but you are not the boss of the thread.

OP has to control others so he doesn't have time/energy to work on himself.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:NP. I’ve been watching this thread with detachment and it’s interesting to see that the OP, who definitely has issues, has been reasonably restrained considering how many posters have been hissing and yowling and scratching at him. I’ve learned that a self-proclaimed HVM is someone to steer clear of, but the people going after him are far worse.

OP here. Without question, I have issues. You just have to be committed to continued growth and evolution as a person. None of us is perfect.

Question: What are your big 5 "issues" and how are you "committed to continued growth and evolution as a person" in regard to them?

This will be too long of an answer to address all of that, so I will only do a few. In my younger years, I had a tendency to cut people off too easily and not give them the benefit of the doubt. I realized that this is not the healthiest impulse for forming strong connections. I have evolved to try to have more empathy, grant people more grace for whatever difficulties they may be experiencing in moments when they have not presented themselves in the best light and tried to step outside of my own head, experiences and thought processes to better understand where I might have blind spots that don't allow me to see where they might be coming from. This is all still a work in progress. Life is hard.

Another has been communication. To keep it short, I have tried become a better, more active listener and less blunt in my approach. As has been exhibited in this thread, this is also a work in progress

I have a committee of trusted people who know me well enough to help point out blind spots and give me perspective, but at the end of the day you have to go with your own gut and discernment.

This is like the interview candidate who brings some "my biggest flaw is that I'm meticulously attentive to minor details" answer to the "what are your weaknesses" question.

"My 'big issue' is that sometimes I cut people off instead of granting them grace when I've evaluated them as beneath me." - OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

Oh, honey...

You've thoroughly exposed yourself. Your whole ass is showing at this point, and the only one who doesn't seem to realize it is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I'll bite:

1) What is your biggest fear, and how much of your life is spent/has been spent trying to avoid it?

My biggest fear is dying young and leaving those close to me vulnerable. I've tried to pay close attention to fitness and diet. In some senses I have not been great at avoiding certain aspects of this, because I deal with a lot of stress. This weighs on me a lot.

2) What has been your greatest joy in your 30(ish) years on the planet so far?

Honestly, I really enjoyed college. It was a time of a lot of learning and growth and I had a great deal of exposure to some incredibly talented and bright people from very different walks of life. It's very tough to recreate that dynamic and freedom in the working world. Beyond that, I get a tremendous amount of joy from investing in friends and family and watching them blossom. I'm a bit selfish in that I like to see the tangible fruits of my "investments". Seeing that sort of thing up close and personal is more appealing to me than contributing to some macro cause on which I probably won't make a dent.

3) If money were no issue, where would you live, what would you do there, and why?

I like Capetown a lot, but it would probably be somewhere in the States that is a smaller town but with a major city close by. I would read and write more and cultivate hobbies that I have forgone. I would also try to recreate the vibe I mention in the previous answer with friends and interesting people just getting together and talking. I would also try to get really immersed in a smaller community. This is something that is increasingly lacking with increased geographic mobility in modern society. I don't think money will be the limiting or determinative factor though. It will be the degree to which I can scale back ambition.

4) Do you have any pets? If so, plz describe.

No pets.

Answers in italics.

Critical f/u Q: Why no pets?

Just no desire to have one and travel obligations.

Nope. Sorry. No "high value" person has zero desire to have a pet, especially with the "I get a tremendous amount of joy from investing in friends and family and watching them blossom. I'm a bit selfish in that I like to see the tangible fruits of my "investments"" mentality.

Travel, I get, but a high-value man makes enough money to afford boarding or in-home care for a pet, or would at least have a "maybe when my lifestyle calms a bit" approach. But "no desire"? Red flag. Having a pet is a much better predictor of emotional capacity than your "sixes".

Then again, "high value" is kinda like "expert". When accurate, it's a title given to you by others. Very few self-proclaimed HV men really are, at least by the metrics most would use. But your skewed metric was also disclosed by your "sixes" comment.

Good luck with your "high value" lifestyle, though.

This is quite silly. Not everyone has the same preferences as you. Get over it. You seem to suffer from solipsism.

Nah, bruh. It's just a quick test to see how you'd treat things you can't fsck or profit from. You don't have to have the same preferences I do. You do need better reasons than you gave, which are sus. You may be a decent person w/o pets, but it raises questions and your ongoing replies support my original theory.

Your "test" is silly. If you prefer that in the people you date, enjoy. Stop centering yourself and imposing your values and preferences on everyone. It's not a good look.

I do enjoy silliness in my partners, yes. A sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to life is usually enjoyable. I am not "imposing my values and preferences on everyone". I have preferences, and you wouldn't meet them (which is fine). That you're now getting nasty and defensive is the third strike. Not being able to handle a difference in opinion/approach without nastiness is a hard stop for me in a potential partner. We're going to have conflicts, and if your response to them is default to big word namecalling before emotionally/mentally short-circuiting, we won't get through them.

A truly high-value man, one who had done some therapy and acquired greater emotional intelligence, would already know that.

If you are on the market, start a thread about what you prefer in a partner and maybe some magic will happen for you. I am not your therapist; nor do I particularly care what you look for in a partner. This may come as a shock to you, but different women prefer different things and you and your preferences are not the center of the universe. I am. (JK)

Not only are you not my therapist, your continued defensiveness strongly suggests you don't have one of your own, or even the emotional competence to know you need one.

You started a thread calling yourself a high-value man. You have shown yourself to be distinctly less than. I suppose it's a valuable lesson to single women reading it, in that it's pointing out the tells and making your nonsense pretty clear. Of course, as several posters have already said, the use of "high value", "alpha", "lion" and the like should immediately raise a few flags.

That you keep taking personal swings at anyone who disagrees with your self-assessment is the most revealing component of this little "social experiment" you started. I, for one, appreciate the ability to dissect one of you so-called HVMs in real time. The implosion is impressive.

Whoever this pp was - bravo! You convinced OP to be less defensive/angry and instead to "turn the other cheek", so as not to appear exactly like you described. Hilarious that he (?) fell for it so easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High value man what the hell is that lol?

Maybe he's a faberge egg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High value man what the hell is that lol?

Maybe he's a faberge egg.

Well, he's fragile...

[Anonymous]

This is absolutely the most boring thread. Op is not providing any interesting information which is the whole point of AMAs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

Troll or mini-Bateman? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

Troll or mini-Bateman? Inquiring minds want to know.

Are you asking my preference? I detest trolls, so I guess that leaves Bateman by default.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

Troll or mini-Bateman? Inquiring minds want to know.

Are you asking my preference? I detest trolls, so I guess that leaves Bateman by default.

How did I guess …

Get therapy. This is DCUM. There are *actual* high value people around here who have achieved more as interns than you have in your useless and venal life as a PE drone or whatever it is you do. Pro tip: making money doesn’t make you “high value.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is absolutely the most boring thread. Op is not providing any interesting information which is the whole point of AMAs.

His answers are too general to be interesting.

[Anonymous]

OPs responses immediately create Sahara-like conditions in my womanhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

Troll or mini-Bateman? Inquiring minds want to know.

Are you asking my preference? I detest trolls, so I guess that leaves Bateman by default.

How did I guess …

Get therapy. This is DCUM. There are *actual* high value people around here who have achieved more as interns than you have in your useless and venal life as a PE drone or whatever it is you do. Pro tip: making money doesn’t make you “high value.”

LOL, quite a reach there.

Pro tip: if you had bothered to read, you would know that I don't believe money alone makes you high value. Cheers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There seems to be a group of ill-intentioned posters that are more concerned with calling me an incel, some weird point scoring and trying to "expose" or drag me down.

I wish them the best, but I rarely find engagement with such types to be fruitful. I will do my best to limit engagement with the bad faith posters, but apologies to others if I misread your intent.

Y’all … are we getting trolled by AI?