Siblings kids not invited to wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the OP here! It’s a huge hassle to ask that if guests. I would graciously decline, which is a bummer, or if you really have the means and want to go, you could go with the in laws but skip out of the reception early. Your sister is probably oblivious but I really sympathize with you here! I had a good friend’s wedding when I still had a very young child and she asked us all to hike into the venue 2 miles at a very specific time and acted like I was high maintenance when I asked about other options!

You think it is a huge hassle to ask guests to not bring toddlers to a wedding that is an hour away by plane? As it turns out, this isn’t a destination wedding at all, unless “destination” means “not where I myself live.” And as it turns out the OP’s baby will be 11 months old so practically a toddler, and her excuse of “I will still be nursing” is a bit of a stretch and wearing an 11 MO would really create something of a spectacle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple.

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.

If you're always confused at this again and again, maybe the problem is you? Some parties are adults only. It's very easy to understand after hearing it just once.

Oh I get that. I’m confused about families being happy with a solution where the adult BIL or SIL also can’t come.

That isn’t true in this case. There are in laws willing to care for the kids and the wedding is an hour away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple.

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.

If that is the case the kids are likely welcome as well because if both parents are expected at an event you can’t just ignore that they have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I would plan to bring baby without sharing that info, and bring a sitter. That day can be for your sister but kids still travel with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and definitely not a troll. Baby will be 11 months so not exclusively nursing. I wanted my children to experience a family wedding but I now realize that this wedding venue / experience is not conducive to that. Destination is a 1 hour flight / 4 hour drive / 3 hour train away. So DH and I will get ILs to stay with our kids at home and then make a day trip for the wedding. Since everything is non traditional, we won’t need a hotel stay for events prior or after. So will just take a day of PTO and attend.

This thread is silly since it's a day trip. Like early train to Philly and back in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable. It's not a destination wedding if you can drive to it the same day. Smh

+1

The drama, OP!

Maybe her sister said no kids hoping OP wouldn't come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable. It's not a destination wedding if you can drive to it the same day. Smh

+1

The drama, OP!

Maybe her sister said no kids hoping OP wouldn't come.

Or she knows the kids are hellions and OP just smiles encouragingly at them. So kid free was the only way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple.

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.

I never understand it either, but then again, DH and I never dreamed about our wedding.
We wanted to be married. The actual wedding and reception were about the guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple.

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.

If that is the case the kids are likely welcome as well because if both parents are expected at an event you can’t just ignore that they have kids.

Lol…yes you can. People can be weirdly unreasonable about their weddings.

My cousin wanted a child-free wedding, but wanted her nieces and nephews to be in a hotel room at the venue so they could do a choreographed dance for the guests at the reception before being shooed away again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple.

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.

If you're always confused at this again and again, maybe the problem is you? Some parties are adults only. It's very easy to understand after hearing it just once.

DP. I guess that I don’t understand the point of having a wedding reception if you don’t care if your family or friends attend. I understand that there is a certain feel that you want everything to have, but what’s it for? What’s the purpose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple.

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.

If you're always confused at this again and again, maybe the problem is you? Some parties are adults only. It's very easy to understand after hearing it just once.

DP. I guess that I don’t understand the point of having a wedding reception if you don’t care if your family or friends attend. I understand that there is a certain feel that you want everything to have, but what’s it for? What’s the purpose?

Are your family and friends all 5 years old? Plenty of people attend these events and leave the kids at home. You know this.

[Anonymous]

Hard pass, no thanks.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You go and the other parent stays home with the kids. Simple. [/quote]

This is what I did 20 years ago when my sister got married. At the time I was *shocked* she didn’t want her only niece and nephew to NOT be in/at the wedding (I really was, thank goodness I evolved over time). But, I went solo and it was a blast and my sister and now husband had the wedding of their dreams. Win-Win[/quote]

I’m always confused by this at a family wedding though. Siblings in law are very much family, at least in our families, with their presence desired at family events.[/quote]

If you're always confused at this again and again, maybe the problem is you? Some parties are adults only. It's very easy to understand after hearing it just once.[/quote]

DP. I guess that I don’t understand the point of having a wedding reception if you don’t care if your family or friends attend. I understand that there is a certain feel that you want everything to have, but what’s it for? What’s the purpose?

[/quote]

Are your family and friends all 5 years old? Plenty of people attend these events and leave the kids at home. You know this. [/quote]

I do. I’m aware that the party isn’t empty, and the couple still gets the vibe that they want.
I just don’t understand what it’s for. Like, why would the vibe be more important than having you sister there, even if she’s kind of weird about leaving her baby. What is it that I’m missing?
I’m not being purposefully obtuse here. I’m an introvert and not big into the social scene. I had a wedding reception because I wanted my friends and family to come to my wedding, and it seemed like we should have a party afterward.
What is the other reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t go personally.
I think it’s rude not to invite kids.

Cool story.
You’re wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Infants in arms are an exception to the “no kids” rule.

I’m sorry though. Both of my siblings did this too. My brother wanted the kids to be in the wedding photos, but not at the wedding. So I had to bring them and get them dressed up, and then send them off to the hotel with the babysitter.

No, they are not.

Yes they are.
If you don’t want your sister to bring her infant to your wedding, then don’t invite her.

Yawn.