Question for older men who date much younger women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three daughters in their 20s - I always tell them to enjoy guys their age now, they are so much hotter then old guys. You can get one of those later but why be with an icky old man when you don't have to be.

So you are an icky old woman/ man yourself?

There is no need to insult yourself to convince your daughters to date men their age.

Just lay out pros and cons in a matter of fact manner. You should make a good case that way.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What is so strange about this thread is that the old women complaining about me dating young women are the cause of my relationship with my gf. Those old women raised the loser 20s sons who can't get into a relationship with 20s women.

Here is what my gf has said about young men her age: they are all on drugs, they have poor manners, they all lack ambition and are lazy, they are all anti-intellectual, they are all mommy's boys, they are all polyamorous, and they all state they are not looking for a serious relationship or any relationship beyond hooking up. For my gf any single one of those is a deal breaker.

So thank you DC Urban Moms, for being such terrible mothers that I am able to date young women. If you weren't so awful, I'd be dating you.

No one mature wants to date you silly. You’re a loser. It’s so funny but sad how you seem to think you’re a prize women are fighting over. The only ones who will date (and dump) you are the ones who don’t know any better, until they do. You are not looking for a serious relationship either, except you are 25 years older, so who’s the manchild?

There are different men who date younger here. I’ve dated (and was married to) women my own age at State, Senate Staff, Wash Post, DOJ, World Bank, etc and have zero doubt I’ll shamelessly slide back to a similar relationship once I age out of being able to attract 22yos. (With the caveat that disease or tragedy can strike anyone at any time, so perhaps I’ll get my comeuppance)

Money will always attract 22 ups temporarily. Your “ability to attract” them is neither here nor there. You are just an experience for them to look back on with a raised eyebrow. It doesn’t change the fact that you yourself are a douche.

Guy here. I’m happily married and not dating, so I don’t really have a horse in this race. In the May/December relationships I know of, the guys are definitely not rich. Honestly, they probably don’t even have a good credit score. Lol. It seems like some women just like older men - my sister in law has always been one of them. People have prederences - go figure.

May / December is different from 45/20. No one here is arguing about 40/65. We’re talking about 45/20.

45-50/25 are the ones I see. I don’t really know anyone dating someone under drinking age.

The PP explicitly said he was serially dating women 20-22.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What is so strange about this thread is that the old women complaining about me dating young women are the cause of my relationship with my gf. Those old women raised the loser 20s sons who can't get into a relationship with 20s women.

Here is what my gf has said about young men her age: they are all on drugs, they have poor manners, they all lack ambition and are lazy, they are all anti-intellectual, they are all mommy's boys, they are all polyamorous, and they all state they are not looking for a serious relationship or any relationship beyond hooking up. For my gf any single one of those is a deal breaker.

So thank you DC Urban Moms, for being such terrible mothers that I am able to date young women. If you weren't so awful, I'd be dating you.

No one mature wants to date you silly. You’re a loser. It’s so funny but sad how you seem to think you’re a prize women are fighting over. The only ones who will date (and dump) you are the ones who don’t know any better, until they do. You are not looking for a serious relationship either, except you are 25 years older, so who’s the manchild?

There are different men who date younger here. I’ve dated (and was married to) women my own age at State, Senate Staff, Wash Post, DOJ, World Bank, etc and have zero doubt I’ll shamelessly slide back to a similar relationship once I age out of being able to attract 22yos. (With the caveat that disease or tragedy can strike anyone at any time, so perhaps I’ll get my comeuppance)

Money will always attract 22 ups temporarily. Your “ability to attract” them is neither here nor there. You are just an experience for them to look back on with a raised eyebrow. It doesn’t change the fact that you yourself are a douche.

Guy here. I’m happily married and not dating, so I don’t really have a horse in this race. In the May/December relationships I know of, the guys are definitely not rich. Honestly, they probably don’t even have a good credit score. Lol. It seems like some women just like older men - my sister in law has always been one of them. People have prederences - go figure.

May / December is different from 45/20. No one here is arguing about 40/65. We’re talking about 45/20.

45-50/25 are the ones I see. I don’t really know anyone dating someone under drinking age.

The PP explicitly said he was serially dating women 20-22.

Well, thats the internet for you. Personally, I haven’t seen anyone my age date that young.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What is so strange about this thread is that the old women complaining about me dating young women are the cause of my relationship with my gf. Those old women raised the loser 20s sons who can't get into a relationship with 20s women.

Here is what my gf has said about young men her age: they are all on drugs, they have poor manners, they all lack ambition and are lazy, they are all anti-intellectual, they are all mommy's boys, they are all polyamorous, and they all state they are not looking for a serious relationship or any relationship beyond hooking up. For my gf any single one of those is a deal breaker.

So thank you DC Urban Moms, for being such terrible mothers that I am able to date young women. If you weren't so awful, I'd be dating you.

No one mature wants to date you silly. You’re a loser. It’s so funny but sad how you seem to think you’re a prize women are fighting over. The only ones who will date (and dump) you are the ones who don’t know any better, until they do. You are not looking for a serious relationship either, except you are 25 years older, so who’s the manchild?

There are different men who date younger here. I’ve dated (and was married to) women my own age at State, Senate Staff, Wash Post, DOJ, World Bank, etc and have zero doubt I’ll shamelessly slide back to a similar relationship once I age out of being able to attract 22yos. (With the caveat that disease or tragedy can strike anyone at any time, so perhaps I’ll get my comeuppance)

Money will always attract 22 ups temporarily. Your “ability to attract” them is neither here nor there. You are just an experience for them to look back on with a raised eyebrow. It doesn’t change the fact that you yourself are a douche.

Guy here. I’m happily married and not dating, so I don’t really have a horse in this race. In the May/December relationships I know of, the guys are definitely not rich. Honestly, they probably don’t even have a good credit score. Lol. It seems like some women just like older men - my sister in law has always been one of them. People have prederences - go figure.

May / December is different from 45/20. No one here is arguing about 40/65. We’re talking about 45/20.

45-50/25 are the ones I see. I don’t really know anyone dating someone under drinking age.

The PP explicitly said he was serially dating women 20-22.

Well, thats the internet for you. Personally, I haven’t seen anyone my age date that young.

There are at least four men who are dating younger women who are contributing to this thread. Only one of them is sometimes dating "college age".

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

DP.

I'd rather that than her being serious about a man child or an abuser, which is what a good chunk of women on this board are married to.

Do these couples gross you out as much as women with older men? If it does not, why not?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I would not worry at all about the relationship being serious and leading to "he's 70 while she's 50" because such relationships rarely result in marriage. I would assume the relationship was not going to last - like most other relationships women have in their 20s, including the ones with men roughly their own age.

I don't see why I should worry about this or feel more weird about this than I should about her dating dating some feckless, jobless high school senior or college student - and that is something that's 100% going to happen, unlike the "dating a much older man" scenario, which is very unlikely to happen.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

Believing that it is creepy when men date much younger than them does not imply that women should be controlled or stopped. It implies that...these men are creepy.

DP. Exactly. It is a judgment on the men, not the young women.

He's making a consensual choice. She's making a consensual choice. No different from any other consensual relationship choice. Why do you hate consensual relationships?

Plenty of consensual things are creepy.

The definition of which is simply, "I don't like it". Which is fine... you don't have to do it. But there is no reason to pass harsh judgment on other people who freely choose to do it.

I detest pickles. I think they are creepy and gross. Total ick. Would never eat one myself. Nonetheless I don't regard people who eat pickles as creepy and gross. (Just don't kiss me right after you eat a pickle, eww.)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

Believing that it is creepy when men date much younger than them does not imply that women should be controlled or stopped. It implies that...these men are creepy.

DP. Exactly. It is a judgment on the men, not the young women.

He's making a consensual choice. She's making a consensual choice. No different from any other consensual relationship choice. Why do you hate consensual relationships?

Plenty of consensual things are creepy.

The definition of which is simply, "I don't like it". Which is fine... you don't have to do it. But there is no reason to pass harsh judgment on other people who freely choose to do it.

I detest pickles. I think they are creepy and gross. Total ick. Would never eat one myself. Nonetheless I don't regard people who eat pickles as creepy and gross. (Just don't kiss me right after you eat a pickle, eww.)

You make no sense. There are serious and deep rooted psychological issues involved in such a large age gap. Daddy issues, for one.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

If you have daughters, as I do, you realize that once they reach a certain age, you can no longer control what they do. Either you raised them to make good choices, or you didn't, but at that point it's totally up to them. I would say that point is definitely no later than when they go off to college, and realistically there isn't much you can do to limit their choices when they're juniors and seniors in high school. They are going to have sex with who they want to have sex with, regardless of what you think about it, that's just a fact.

As a thought experiment, let's say a woman in her 20s came into DCUM relationships and said, "my dad insists he should have the power to approve who I have sex with, and I am absolutely not allowed to have sex with a man if he's not okay with it." What do you think the DCUM reaction would be? I think DCUM would howl, "ewww, creepy and controlling, get away from this crazy patriarch as fast as you can!" Would you, as a father, want to have this power if you could (which you can't)?

Lots of people do totally legal things that I don't approve of. But that's freedom. You can't stop adult women from sleeping with "unsuitable" men unless you deprive them of freedom. And that's not gonna happen so you might as well not sit around being mad about it.

Lol, what? You COMPLETELY missed the point. The point was not “24 year olds shouldn’t be allowed to date men in their 40s.” Go back and read.

I was responding directly to the guy who asked how fathers would feel about their daughters dating older men, you moron, and my response directly addressed that point. Go back and read.

“Moron?” Haha…are you sure you can hang with the younger crowd?

I am that poster. And the point, which apparently needs to be spelled out for you: a normal man who has raised daughters realizes how VERY young and emotionally different a girl in her young 20s is. I could not see a 23 year old as a viable romantic relationship partner any more than I could see a 17 year old as one.

You aren't really arguing that 23-year olds should not be allowed to have romantic relationships, are you?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:When I was 24, I had a serious relationship with someone 24 years older than me. We both knew it would not be a lifetime union but we were in love and had four great years together. Very fond memories.

Yeah I'm sure he was super in love omg

Why wouldn't he be? 24-year olds are as lovable as any other age.

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

Believing that it is creepy when men date much younger than them does not imply that women should be controlled or stopped. It implies that...these men are creepy.

DP. Exactly. It is a judgment on the men, not the young women.

He's making a consensual choice. She's making a consensual choice. No different from any other consensual relationship choice. Why do you hate consensual relationships?

Plenty of consensual things are creepy.

The definition of which is simply, "I don't like it". Which is fine... you don't have to do it. But there is no reason to pass harsh judgment on other people who freely choose to do it.

I detest pickles. I think they are creepy and gross. Total ick. Would never eat one myself. Nonetheless I don't regard people who eat pickles as creepy and gross. (Just don't kiss me right after you eat a pickle, eww.)

You make no sense. There are serious and deep rooted psychological issues involved in such a large age gap. Daddy issues, for one.

That's not a wining argument. So what if there are psychological issues involved? Do women with psychological issues deserve your harsh judgment?Are you creeped and grossed out by women with psychological issues?

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Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is so strange about this thread is that the old women complaining about me dating young women are the cause of my relationship with my gf. Those old women raised the loser 20s sons who can't get into a relationship with 20s women.

Here is what my gf has said about young men her age: they are all on drugs, they have poor manners, they all lack ambition and are lazy, they are all anti-intellectual, they are all mommy's boys, they are all polyamorous, and they all state they are not looking for a serious relationship or any relationship beyond hooking up. For my gf any single one of those is a deal breaker.

So thank you DC Urban Moms, for being such terrible mothers that I am able to date young women. If you weren't so awful, I'd be dating you.

It sounds like, for whatever reason, she is unable to attract quality men her own age who may have a lot of options. Surely you are not implying that all young men fit one of the bolded criteria. So, she can attract a higher quality man who has a ding (older) but to her, it is worth the tradeoff.