My neighbor hosted her own daughter’s baby shower for her 2nd baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

This is my thought exactly!

If "no gifts" are not specified, my friends who are upper middle class will get from me a couple packages of onesies from Target and a box of chocolates for mom. For my working class friends/family I will get a dozen packages of onesies , and lots of necessities from Costco, all prettied up with a bow. Last thing a new mm needs is a run to Costco with a 3-week old; load her up ahead of time. Doesn't matter if it is baby number 1 or 2 or 3 for the lower-income mom; for the upper income mom they get a card in the mail.

Who gives a F about who is throwing the party? Never heard of that.

LOL! You are poor. This is not what you give to UMC moms!!

You must be new money. You have no class.

Onesies? Diapers? Formula? LOL! Why are your ghetto and trailer trash people producing children at all? Can you not give them condoms and BC pills?

PP never mentioned diapers or formula, that was from your wine mom fever dream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the issue.

I have attend a very large self hosted baby shower for someone’s surprise 3rd baby. The two children were much older so they didn’t have any baby stuff.

My mom and teen daughter hosted my 2nd baby shower for me at my house. I would have preferred not to have one, but they insisted on doing it. My 2nd was also an oops baby and I didn’t have anything.

Most people aren’t hosting baby showers to get gifts with the amount of planning and cost that goes into hosting.

Well if they aren’t hosting for gifts then they would so no gifts.
By the way, you said you had a second baby shower and didn’t have anything. You wanted gifts.

No. I didn’t want any gifts. We are upper middle class and have more than enough money. I actually hate getting gifts and prefer to buy my own stuff. I did not register anywhere. My teen daughter and mother insisted on having it. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I caved for them. I believe many people who have 2nd baby showers are talked into it because close friends or family are really excited for them. My point in saying that I didn’t have any baby stuff is because it really was like starting from scratch given there was a 13 year span with my first child.

That is so sweet. I have a huge gap between DD and DS too. DD was so about becoming a big sister that she and DH hosted a surprise baby shower and invited our family. I ended up getting 3 more baby-showers thrown by friends, neighbors and co-workers. LOL. And we were comfortably UMC by baby 2, so I was actually already buying high-end designer stuff that I liked. But, it was so sweet to have my pregnancy and happiness celebrated. I was also in the same shoes as you, I had already given away my baby stuff to others, convinced that I had secondary infertility.

With my firstborn, we had recently bought a brand new SFH, so we were stretched. But, I was thrown a beautiful surprise babyshower by a very close friend and got gifts from Target that were truly precious to me.

You should never ever admit that you had 4 baby shower for 1 baby and to top it off, it was your second baby.
You have no integrity and are incredibly tacky.

I don't care what you think at all. I loved that I got 4 baby showers for the 2nd baby and that people outside of my family actually liked me enough to want to throw me surprise baby showers. I LOVED it. I also love both my kids and so I liked it a lot that both were celebrated.

I am also enjoying that you are feeling so terrible that others are loved and celebrated.

You admit really odd things and it just cements how selfish you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to party, party. Who cares what rules dictate.

You mean if you want to gift grab, gift grab.

Don’t be so uptight. Nothing wrong with celebrating a new baby, no matter if it’s the first or last.

Apparently buying a gift is compulsory to celebrate a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to party, party. Who cares what rules dictate.

You mean if you want to gift grab, gift grab.

Don’t be so uptight. Nothing wrong with celebrating a new baby, no matter if it’s the first or last.

Apparently buying a gift is compulsory to celebrate a new baby.

NP. Did you have a shower for your baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the issue.

I have attend a very large self hosted baby shower for someone’s surprise 3rd baby. The two children were much older so they didn’t have any baby stuff.

My mom and teen daughter hosted my 2nd baby shower for me at my house. I would have preferred not to have one, but they insisted on doing it. My 2nd was also an oops baby and I didn’t have anything.

Most people aren’t hosting baby showers to get gifts with the amount of planning and cost that goes into hosting.

Well if they aren’t hosting for gifts then they would so no gifts.
By the way, you said you had a second baby shower and didn’t have anything. You wanted gifts.

No. I didn’t want any gifts. We are upper middle class and have more than enough money. I actually hate getting gifts and prefer to buy my own stuff. I did not register anywhere. My teen daughter and mother insisted on having it. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I caved for them. I believe many people who have 2nd baby showers are talked into it because close friends or family are really excited for them. My point in saying that I didn’t have any baby stuff is because it really was like starting from scratch given there was a 13 year span with my first child.

That is so sweet. I have a huge gap between DD and DS too. DD was so about becoming a big sister that she and DH hosted a surprise baby shower and invited our family. I ended up getting 3 more baby-showers thrown by friends, neighbors and co-workers. LOL. And we were comfortably UMC by baby 2, so I was actually already buying high-end designer stuff that I liked. But, it was so sweet to have my pregnancy and happiness celebrated. I was also in the same shoes as you, I had already given away my baby stuff to others, convinced that I had secondary infertility.

With my firstborn, we had recently bought a brand new SFH, so we were stretched. But, I was thrown a beautiful surprise babyshower by a very close friend and got gifts from Target that were truly precious to me.

You should never ever admit that you had 4 baby shower for 1 baby and to top it off, it was your second baby.
You have no integrity and are incredibly tacky.

I don't care what you think at all. I loved that I got 4 baby showers for the 2nd baby and that people outside of my family actually liked me enough to want to throw me surprise baby showers. I LOVED it. I also love both my kids and so I liked it a lot that both were celebrated.

I am also enjoying that you are feeling so terrible that others are loved and celebrated.

You do care, otherwise you wouldn’t commented.
That wasn’t about you being loved and celebrated. It was a shakedown into the ether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to party, party. Who cares what rules dictate.

You mean if you want to gift grab, gift grab.

Don’t be so uptight. Nothing wrong with celebrating a new baby, no matter if it’s the first or last.

Apparently buying a gift is compulsory to celebrate a new baby.

NP. Did you have a shower for your baby?

DP-not for subsequent children after the first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

[Anonymous]

I had no baby shower because my boss backed out right before she sent out invitations. I had told friends that she was hosting but then she never sent invites so people thought they weren’t invited, which hurt a bunch of feelings. I would have loved for my mom to host but she believed OP’s old fashion standard. So I got nothing but angry hurt “friends.” I really dislike the BS of this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

Do you believe all parties where it’s traditional to give a gift (birthdays, weddings, baby showers) are “shakedowns”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

Or maybe social norms vary depending on culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

Do you believe all parties where it’s traditional to give a gift (birthdays, weddings, baby showers) are “shakedowns”?

Stay in topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to party, party. Who cares what rules dictate.

You mean if you want to gift grab, gift grab.

Don’t be so uptight. Nothing wrong with celebrating a new baby, no matter if it’s the first or last.

There is a difference between celebrating a new baby and throwing an event that is essentially a shakedown for presents.

Please tell us the proper way to celebrate a new baby then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh well I’m mostly judging you here, actually.

MYOB. I don’t actually care if people do showers for a second baby, for all I know they have good reasons (big age gap, didn’t prepare/register as well for first due to tough pregnancy, etc.). And I see NOTHING wrong with a mother throwing a shower for her daughter. Not everyone has the required aunt/best friend to do stuff like that for them.

Are you invited? Just decline and go do something else that day. Don’t bring your bad vibes to someone else’s happy day.

+1