My neighbor hosted her own daughter’s baby shower for her 2nd baby
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Anonymous
The “no immediate family” rule really bugs me because it creates an expectation that everyone has someone else in their life who can do it. People don’t. If your mom or sister wants to throw you a shower, they should. What even is the reason for this? I’ll go a step further and say I think it would fine to throw your own shower, too. People need love and support when they have a baby. I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking for it directly. And I’m with the PP who pointed out that the “no showers for second baby” rule makes no sense when you consider that many, many people who can afford to buy everything they need for their baby themselves still have showers for the first baby. A baby shower is really not just about getting gifts. It’s a way to support a growing family. |
Anonymous
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The US is one of the only nations to even have showers and reveals. Noone else is that greedy or eager to celebrate something that hasn’t happened yet! Do nobody cares. Do whatever you want. |
Anonymous
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I can’t believe so many posters don’t see anything wrong with this! Guys, it’s rude and you’re being taken advantage of!
You get one baby shower for your first baby - that’s it, And your mother should not be the one hosting. Our generation is getting a really unpleasant reputation as the Me, Me, Me Generation with our ridiculous Sprinkles, Gender Reveal parties, etc. Obvious gift grabs. |
Anonymous
Don’t attend if you’re so offended. |
Anonymous
Having multiple parties is not the same thing as having one party that your mom hosts. It’s not 1950. Your mom or your sister can host your party. |
Anonymous
| I’m the PP who said don’t attend. I’m 46, so Gen X, and thought those rules were stupid 20 years ago when I was going through the “showers” stage of life. |
Anonymous
| I never had any showers but it was my choice. I see nothing wrong with celebrating the birth of the first, second, third. It is none of my business and none of yours either op |
Anonymous
All cultures have traditions for helping a pregnant woman and her family prepare for a new baby. All cultures. The US is actually unique in expecting women to work until their due date, take minimal leave (and partners are expected to take almost no leave at all), and then return to work full time as though they never had a child. Baby showers are not and do not have to be gift grabs. At my shower, I asked that people, if they wanted, hand down a baby item they were no longer using. Friends without kids were told gifts were optional— most brought things like diapers, clothes, or books, nothing expensive. There was no “sitting in a circle opening gifts”. It was a chance to see friends before the baby was born and to feel supported by my people. If I had a second kid, I would happily do this again. No one is making you go to someone’s baby shower and if you are mad about it, it would probably be best not to go. |
Anonymous
| A million people died in a pandemic and you’re still thinking about this ish? |
Anonymous
| OP is rude trash. |
Anonymous
| OP is correct about the rules, though showers are just gift grabs anyway. |
Anonymous
Who is being taken advantage of? How? It’s a party invite. Don’t go if you don’t want to. Don’t bring a gift, or bring something small, if that’s what feels appropriate to you. The problem is you are stuck in this Miss Manners, rule-based system where everything is a rock solid obligation. It’s not. I used to politely decline baby showers all the time when I was not in a good headspace to attend. It’s fine. Be a grown up and make your own choices without trying to impose them on everyone else. |
Anonymous
| I am at the age where all my friend’s children are getting married. ALL the mother’s are the hosts for the bridal shower. I have not seen an aunt or bridesmaids stepping up to take over this task. Heck, I have seen mother’s of the bride having a second bridal shower when the first wedding didn’t work out. |
Anonymous
You can’t tell when something becomes a gift grab? |
Anonymous
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Who cares. I hate baby showers but I see nothing wrong in having one for each kid, having your parents or family host, etc. The second or third kid is not any less deserving of celebration, surely. People can get smaller token gifts if they want. No one says you have to buy the big ticket items.
Actually, I hate bridal showers even more than baby showers. Especially the ones with dumb sex jokes and penis cakes. Especially when half these people live together already. I assure you the wedding not is not the first time the bride has seen a penis. |