My neighbor hosted her own daughter’s baby shower for her 2nd baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

This is my thought exactly!

If "no gifts" are not specified, my friends who are upper middle class will get from me a couple packages of onesies from Target and a box of chocolates for mom. For my working class friends/family I will get a dozen packages of onesies , and lots of necessities from Costco, all prettied up with a bow. Last thing a new mm needs is a run to Costco with a 3-week old; load her up ahead of time. Doesn't matter if it is baby number 1 or 2 or 3 for the lower-income mom; for the upper income mom they get a card in the mail.

Who gives a F about who is throwing the party? Never heard of that.

Yikes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Are those rules in the Bible ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

This is my thought exactly!

If "no gifts" are not specified, my friends who are upper middle class will get from me a couple packages of onesies from Target and a box of chocolates for mom. For my working class friends/family I will get a dozen packages of onesies , and lots of necessities from Costco, all prettied up with a bow. Last thing a new mm needs is a run to Costco with a 3-week old; load her up ahead of time. Doesn't matter if it is baby number 1 or 2 or 3 for the lower-income mom; for the upper income mom they get a card in the mail.

Who gives a F about who is throwing the party? Never heard of that.

LOL! You are poor. This is not what you give to UMC moms!!

[Anonymous]

Honestly who cares. If you're inviting me to your baby shower and I'm attending it's because we're friends and I want to celebrate your baby with you and give a gift regardless of whether you really need the gift or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

This is my thought exactly!

If "no gifts" are not specified, my friends who are upper middle class will get from me a couple packages of onesies from Target and a box of chocolates for mom. For my working class friends/family I will get a dozen packages of onesies , and lots of necessities from Costco, all prettied up with a bow. Last thing a new mm needs is a run to Costco with a 3-week old; load her up ahead of time. Doesn't matter if it is baby number 1 or 2 or 3 for the lower-income mom; for the upper income mom they get a card in the mail.

Who gives a F about who is throwing the party? Never heard of that.

LOL! You are poor. This is not what you give to UMC moms!!

You must be new money. You have no class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the issue.

I have attend a very large self hosted baby shower for someone’s surprise 3rd baby. The two children were much older so they didn’t have any baby stuff.

My mom and teen daughter hosted my 2nd baby shower for me at my house. I would have preferred not to have one, but they insisted on doing it. My 2nd was also an oops baby and I didn’t have anything.

Most people aren’t hosting baby showers to get gifts with the amount of planning and cost that goes into hosting.

Well if they aren’t hosting for gifts then they would so no gifts.
By the way, you said you had a second baby shower and didn’t have anything. You wanted gifts.

No. I didn’t want any gifts. We are upper middle class and have more than enough money. I actually hate getting gifts and prefer to buy my own stuff. I did not register anywhere. My teen daughter and mother insisted on having it. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I caved for them. I believe many people who have 2nd baby showers are talked into it because close friends or family are really excited for them. My point in saying that I didn’t have any baby stuff is because it really was like starting from scratch given there was a 13 year span with my first child.

That is so sweet. I have a huge gap between DD and DS too. DD was so about becoming a big sister that she and DH hosted a surprise baby shower and invited our family. I ended up getting 3 more baby-showers thrown by friends, neighbors and co-workers. LOL. And we were comfortably UMC by baby 2, so I was actually already buying high-end designer stuff that I liked. But, it was so sweet to have my pregnancy and happiness celebrated. I was also in the same shoes as you, I had already given away my baby stuff to others, convinced that I had secondary infertility.

With my firstborn, we had recently bought a brand new SFH, so we were stretched. But, I was thrown a beautiful surprise babyshower by a very close friend and got gifts from Target that were truly precious to me.

You should never ever admit that you had 4 baby shower for 1 baby and to top it off, it was your second baby.
You have no integrity and are incredibly tacky.

I don't care what you think at all. I loved that I got 4 baby showers for the 2nd baby and that people outside of my family actually liked me enough to want to throw me surprise baby showers. I LOVED it. I also love both my kids and so I liked it a lot that both were celebrated.

I am also enjoying that you are feeling so terrible that others are loved and celebrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

This is my thought exactly!

If "no gifts" are not specified, my friends who are upper middle class will get from me a couple packages of onesies from Target and a box of chocolates for mom. For my working class friends/family I will get a dozen packages of onesies , and lots of necessities from Costco, all prettied up with a bow. Last thing a new mm needs is a run to Costco with a 3-week old; load her up ahead of time. Doesn't matter if it is baby number 1 or 2 or 3 for the lower-income mom; for the upper income mom they get a card in the mail.

Who gives a F about who is throwing the party? Never heard of that.

LOL! You are poor. This is not what you give to UMC moms!!

You must be new money. You have no class.

Onesies? Diapers? Formula? LOL! Why are your ghetto and trailer trash people producing children at all? Can you not give them condoms and BC pills?

[Anonymous]

Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see showers as parties and a way to hang out with family and friends. Also all that good food!!

Just with a gift as an entry fee.

Well, I am used to bringing hostess gifts, wine and food to most any party I attend. I also give generous amounts of cash gifts on weddings. I have been raised well and without the soul sucking poverty that people like OP has experienced, so bringing gifts to other actually brings me joy. And buying baby gifts? OMG! They are the best. So cute, so tiny, so much fun!!

No, you were no raised well. Children are "reared" and vegetables and livestock are raise. So, unless you are a cabbage or a pig or any other kind of vegetable or livestock, you were not raised well.

Do you mean reared dear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares. I hate baby showers but I see nothing wrong in having one for each kid, having your parents or family host, etc. The second or third kid is not any less deserving of celebration, surely. People can get smaller token gifts if they want. No one says you have to buy the big ticket items.

Actually, I hate bridal showers even more than baby showers. Especially the ones with dumb sex jokes and penis cakes. Especially when half these people live together already. I assure you the wedding not is not the first time the bride has seen a penis.

Oh, so you don’t want to celebrate the bride but will celebrate the same mom having recurring baby showers for things she already has as a way to get more.

So sex jokes and penis cakes is your idea of celebrating a bride? Do you run a brothel?

As for giving more to the mother with recurring baby shower...do you give cash and jewelry to her as a baby shower gifts? Aren't most of you giving basic consumables like diapers, formula and wipes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

This is my thought exactly!

If "no gifts" are not specified, my friends who are upper middle class will get from me a couple packages of onesies from Target and a box of chocolates for mom. For my working class friends/family I will get a dozen packages of onesies , and lots of necessities from Costco, all prettied up with a bow. Last thing a new mm needs is a run to Costco with a 3-week old; load her up ahead of time. Doesn't matter if it is baby number 1 or 2 or 3 for the lower-income mom; for the upper income mom they get a card in the mail.

Who gives a F about who is throwing the party? Never heard of that.

LOL! You are poor. This is not what you give to UMC moms!!

You must be new money. You have no class.

Onesies? Diapers? Formula? LOL! Why are your ghetto and trailer trash people producing children at all? Can you not give them condoms and BC pills?

Again classless and spewing drivel. It sounds like you must be an expert in what trash is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to party, party. Who cares what rules dictate.

You mean if you want to gift grab, gift grab.

Don’t be so uptight. Nothing wrong with celebrating a new baby, no matter if it’s the first or last.

There is a difference between celebrating a new baby and throwing an event that is essentially a shakedown for presents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All showers, baby or wedding, are low class and for the poor. If you can't afford to buy clothes for your first baby or matching dishes since you now have the wifey duty to cook, then you shouldn't be having a baby or getting married.

Please even Kate Middleton had a baby shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All showers, baby or wedding, are low class and for the poor. If you can't afford to buy clothes for your first baby or matching dishes since you now have the wifey duty to cook, then you shouldn't be having a baby or getting married.

Please even Kate Middleton had a baby shower.

False. They royals don’t do showers. Except Meghan. Which kinda makes our point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All showers, baby or wedding, are low class and for the poor. If you can't afford to buy clothes for your first baby or matching dishes since you now have the wifey duty to cook, then you shouldn't be having a baby or getting married.

Please even Kate Middleton had a baby shower.

False. They royals don’t do showers. Except Meghan. Which kinda makes our point.

It was small and private. https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/celebrity-news/kate-middleton-s-baby-shower-details-revealed-126196" target="_new" rel="nofollow"> https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/celebrity-news/kate-middleton-s-baby-shower-details-revealed-126196