My neighbor hosted her own daughter’s baby shower for her 2nd baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

If you genuinely felt a baby shower was a shakedown and clearly resented it why would you go? What kind of friend or family member do you have that they’re shaking you down for gifts like they’re the mommy mafia?

I have no friends or family who would do that.

DP. Have you read the whole thread? I think you are missing the nuance of what the criticism is about.

Oh? Mom and grandmom are dead, but I am sure there are some living family members? Or all of them are dead or estranged? OP, what is your story? What made you such a witch?

[Anonymous]

Oh please. It's a party to celebrate a baby and a mom. Why be hateful. If you don't want to give a $25 gift then don't.

[Anonymous]

Oooohh! This gives me shivers...

The neighbor pissed off Maleficent and now Maleficent is posting on DCUM!!

Beware! Beware!! Save the precious unborn baby and the mom from this evil eye jealous woman!!!

[Anonymous]

Oooohh! This gives me shivers...

The neighbor pissed off Maleficent and now Maleficent is posting on DCUM!!

Beware! Beware!! Save the precious unborn baby and the mom from this evil eye jealous woman!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

If you genuinely felt a baby shower was a shakedown and clearly resented it why would you go? What kind of friend or family member do you have that they’re shaking you down for gifts like they’re the mommy mafia?

I have no friends or family who would do that.

Oh? Mom and grandmom are dead, but I am sure there are some living family members? Or all of them are dead or estranged? OP, what is your story? What made you such a witch?

DP. Have you read the whole thread? I think you are missing the nuance of what the criticism is about.

I am trying to be charitable. Surely something bad has happened in life to OP for her to be so hateful? We need to understand the psychology else we suffer as a society. I mean, look at the White tattooed man who killed people in Buffalo. Do you think his parents were not to be blamed for how he was raised and why he was so hateful? There is a whole book about how these kinds of men are dying because of their whiteness. It is important for us to know the thinking so that we can protect ourselves from such people and prevent others from becoming like him.

OP is also someone who is behaving like a hateful person on an anonymous forum, so we need to know why she is hurting so much that she is lashing out on other people who have not harmed her in any way. No one starts off life trying to be a turd. There is some rationale in her mind that what she is focusing on is important and she does not think of her criticism as unwarranted, and she does not think of herself as harmful or evil.

[Anonymous]

I never heard of the rule that the mother/family of the bride/mom-to-be shouldn't host the shower until I read it here. Where I am from, it is common that the female relatives host the showers. The MOH and bridesmaids may be involved but it was usually the female relatives who took charge and footed the bill. I was part of a bridal party many years ago and the mother of the groom picked the place for the shower then expected the bridesmaids to pay for it. There were 5 of us, the bill was $3k and we were all about 25 years old so that was a lot of money. And most of the people there were her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never heard of the rule that the mother/family of the bride/mom-to-be shouldn't host the shower until I read it here. Where I am from, it is common that the female relatives host the showers. The MOH and bridesmaids may be involved but it was usually the female relatives who took charge and footed the bill. I was part of a bridal party many years ago and the mother of the groom picked the place for the shower then expected the bridesmaids to pay for it. There were 5 of us, the bill was $3k and we were all about 25 years old so that was a lot of money. And most of the people there were her friends.

This doesn’t apply to where you are from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

If you genuinely felt a baby shower was a shakedown and clearly resented it why would you go? What kind of friend or family member do you have that they’re shaking you down for gifts like they’re the mommy mafia?

I have no friends or family who would do that.

Oh? Mom and grandmom are dead, but I am sure there are some living family members? Or all of them are dead or estranged? OP, what is your story? What made you such a witch?

DP. Have you read the whole thread? I think you are missing the nuance of what the criticism is about.

I am trying to be charitable. Surely something bad has happened in life to OP for her to be so hateful? We need to understand the psychology else we suffer as a society. I mean, look at the White tattooed man who killed people in Buffalo. Do you think his parents were not to be blamed for how he was raised and why he was so hateful? There is a whole book about how these kinds of men are dying because of their whiteness. It is important for us to know the thinking so that we can protect ourselves from such people and prevent others from becoming like him.

OP is also someone who is behaving like a hateful person on an anonymous forum, so we need to know why she is hurting so much that she is lashing out on other people who have not harmed her in any way. No one starts off life trying to be a turd. There is some rationale in her mind that what she is focusing on is important and she does not think of her criticism as unwarranted, and she does not think of herself as harmful or evil.

Are you taking medication?

[Anonymous]

I would really love to know the age/race/geographic/socioeconomic breakdown of the responses here. It would be so fascinating. I suspect a lot of the differences are cultural/financial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

If you genuinely felt a baby shower was a shakedown and clearly resented it why would you go? What kind of friend or family member do you have that they’re shaking you down for gifts like they’re the mommy mafia?

I have no friends or family who would do that.

Oh? Mom and grandmom are dead, but I am sure there are some living family members? Or all of them are dead or estranged? OP, what is your story? What made you such a witch?

First, tell us what made you such a witch?

DP. No OP, you first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would really love to know the age/race/geographic/socioeconomic breakdown of the responses here. It would be so fascinating. I suspect a lot of the differences are cultural/financial.

I’m one of the people who said earlier that while I was taught the rule about no family hosting, I now consider it outdated and irrelevant. I still do feel a twinge of weirdness about someone having a second baby shower if the kids aren’t born far apart, but I agree with other PPs’ sentiment that all babies should be celebrated. Early 40’s, white, raised UMC, from the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us were taught certain behavior rules, which this definitely violates, but we need to understand that not everyone had the benefit of learning rules about social norms and maybe they just want to have a fun event. Or maybe they want a gift grab.

I was taught the same thing, but times change. It’s similar to being really wound up about someone wearing white after Labor Day, as noted earlier in the thread. If you had a baby shower thrown by your friend, you are participating in exactly as much of a gift grab as someone whose shower was thrown by a relative.

This. Times change.

Shakedowns have become acceptable?

If you genuinely felt a baby shower was a shakedown and clearly resented it why would you go? What kind of friend or family member do you have that they’re shaking you down for gifts like they’re the mommy mafia?

I have no friends or family who would do that.

Oh? Mom and grandmom are dead, but I am sure there are some living family members? Or all of them are dead or estranged? OP, what is your story? What made you such a witch?

First, tell us what made you such a witch?

DP. No OP, you first.

Dp-whoever it is is not understanding the nuance of the post and calling that person a witch without the right context.

[Anonymous]

Hosting a baby shower is a nice gesture for new parents, no matter who does the hosting. Babies are expensive, doesn't matter if it's #1 or #10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hosting a baby shower is a nice gesture for new parents, no matter who does the hosting. Babies are expensive, doesn't matter if it's #1 or #10.

We all know babies are expensive. Should we all shell out for the expense for the 2nd, 5th, 7th, and 10th baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hosting a baby shower is a nice gesture for new parents, no matter who does the hosting. Babies are expensive, doesn't matter if it's #1 or #10.

Its significantly less expensive for babies after the first. You already have a stroller, crib, bassinet, swing, bouncy chair, high chair, car seat, play mat, toys, books, etc.

And you are basically admitting the purpose of this "party" is for people to buy you stuff.