I'm so tired of mom cliques

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have good times with friends all the time and (gasp!) don't even bother to take photos, much less post them to the internet. What's wrong with just keeping your private life private? Then no one's feelings are hurt and you still get to enjoy your life. It's not hard.

When I do occasionally post photos to social media, it's usually something like a sign that has been misspelled in an amusing way. Something that I think might amuse people and that does not require you to be in on something. And when I do have photos from a private event I want to share, I text them to the people who are in them. I can't think of a good reason why people in my extended social network would be interested in it, much less just gushing with happiness about the fact that we had a backyard BBQ or met for rooftop drinks somewhere. And I certainly don't require the external validation from people who weren't there -- I know my life is good already.

Y'all are weird.

I don’t use social media much and don’t take pictures (well, rarely). But I couldn’t care less if others do. I’m not stuck in high school pining to be included in everything by everyone I may be friends or acquainted with. This is really sad for you if you let things like this bother you

Where did I say it bothered me? I don't even look at crap on social media. I truly don't understand what it is for other than as an online white pages to track down someone you lost touch with, or as a platform for private groups or raising money. But I don't think it's surprising that if you do post photos of private social events to social media, it winds up making people feel bad. This seems self evident. Imagine if before Facebook, you sometimes got emailed photos of your neighbor's birthday dinner or the girls night a bunch of moms from your kids school put together without you? I'd view that as hostile, borderline crazy behavior. Just because Facebook makes that easier to do doesn't change the fact that it's obnoxious. I just don't understand why anyone would do this?

Why would you view a photo of someone you like having a good time hostile, borderline crazy behavior?

Are you dense? If you wanted someone to see you having a good time at the party or whatever, why wouldn't you just invite them to the party.

I don't know if you are aware of this, but most people are not sitting around waiting to find out what you did this weekend without them so they can congratulate you on it. It is weirdly self-centered and, yes, hostile to assume that people are watching your life like you are some kind of celebrity personality and they are just so thrilled for your good times.

Most of us have friends who post photos of their social lives. We don't live in anger about it. We don't expect to be invited to every party. We can be happy for our friends.

"Live in anger"

What is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Okay, so don't post photos with any people in them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have good times with friends all the time and (gasp!) don't even bother to take photos, much less post them to the internet. What's wrong with just keeping your private life private? Then no one's feelings are hurt and you still get to enjoy your life. It's not hard.

When I do occasionally post photos to social media, it's usually something like a sign that has been misspelled in an amusing way. Something that I think might amuse people and that does not require you to be in on something. And when I do have photos from a private event I want to share, I text them to the people who are in them. I can't think of a good reason why people in my extended social network would be interested in it, much less just gushing with happiness about the fact that we had a backyard BBQ or met for rooftop drinks somewhere. And I certainly don't require the external validation from people who weren't there -- I know my life is good already.

Y'all are weird.

I don’t use social media much and don’t take pictures (well, rarely). But I couldn’t care less if others do. I’m not stuck in high school pining to be included in everything by everyone I may be friends or acquainted with. This is really sad for you if you let things like this bother you

Where did I say it bothered me? I don't even look at crap on social media. I truly don't understand what it is for other than as an online white pages to track down someone you lost touch with, or as a platform for private groups or raising money. But I don't think it's surprising that if you do post photos of private social events to social media, it winds up making people feel bad. This seems self evident. Imagine if before Facebook, you sometimes got emailed photos of your neighbor's birthday dinner or the girls night a bunch of moms from your kids school put together without you? I'd view that as hostile, borderline crazy behavior. Just because Facebook makes that easier to do doesn't change the fact that it's obnoxious. I just don't understand why anyone would do this?

Why would you view a photo of someone you like having a good time hostile, borderline crazy behavior?

Are you dense? If you wanted someone to see you having a good time at the party or whatever, why wouldn't you just invite them to the party.

I don't know if you are aware of this, but most people are not sitting around waiting to find out what you did this weekend without them so they can congratulate you on it. It is weirdly self-centered and, yes, hostile to assume that people are watching your life like you are some kind of celebrity personality and they are just so thrilled for your good times.

Most of us have friends who post photos of their social lives. We don't live in anger about it. We don't expect to be invited to every party. We can be happy for our friends.

"Live in anger"

What is happening.

Yeah I know. That lady seems to be really really mad about people posting photos that she isn't in.

[Anonymous]

These are trolls, right? Tell me these are trolls.

I just hope there are not people in the world who are ACTUALLY this mad about the idea that that someone might be mildly hurt by a photo they post. This is so off the rails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s where i see it.
In person, in “real life,” we have been taught from a young age to watch how you talk about private parties in front of everybody.

Our moms: “larla, next time remember it’s rude to talk about your party in front of Stacy. Remember you only had room for 10 and you didn’t invite her.”

“Ok mom!”

Next time we remembered when we had our 4 best friends over, we didn’t go on about it in front of Friend 5 and 6. If they ASK, go ahead and tell them. But it was rude to have inside jokes galore on Monday. Just, keep it to yourself. You’ll hang out with Friend 5 and 6 next weekend.

Now, people are doing the equivalent of the bad-mannered this on social media. They have their friends numbers. They can, if they weren’t whores, share photos directly with their best friends.

Woooooooow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are trolls, right? Tell me these are trolls.

I just hope there are not people in the world who are ACTUALLY this mad about the idea that that someone might be mildly hurt by a photo they post. This is so off the rails.

i don't think that one lady is mildly angry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Okay, so don't post photos with any people in them?

If you aren't a troll, I think you need to see a therapist because this is an insanely intense response to some frankly mild criticism of the practice of posting photos of small social gatherings to social media.

But sure, yes, I think you should never post photos with humans in them. That is the rule I am advocating for, and not just being a little bit thoughtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Okay, so don't post photos with any people in them?

If you aren't a troll, I think you need to see a therapist because this is an insanely intense response to some frankly mild criticism of the practice of posting photos of small social gatherings to social media.

But sure, yes, I think you should never post photos with humans in them. That is the rule I am advocating for, and not just being a little bit thoughtful.

I do want to know what you think is an acceptable type of post on Facebook which has people in it. You have been all over the place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are trolls, right? Tell me these are trolls.

I just hope there are not people in the world who are ACTUALLY this mad about the idea that that someone might be mildly hurt by a photo they post. This is so off the rails.

I can’t believe there are people in here who see every post they aren’t in as an attack on themselves and that it means all of their relationships are lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Okay, so don't post photos with any people in them?

If you aren't a troll, I think you need to see a therapist because this is an insanely intense response to some frankly mild criticism of the practice of posting photos of small social gatherings to social media.

But sure, yes, I think you should never post photos with humans in them. That is the rule I am advocating for, and not just being a little bit thoughtful.

Ur right. The lady who call d people whores is totally reasonable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are trolls, right? Tell me these are trolls.

I just hope there are not people in the world who are ACTUALLY this mad about the idea that that someone might be mildly hurt by a photo they post. This is so off the rails.

I can’t believe there are people in here who see every post they aren’t in as an attack on themselves and that it means all of their relationships are lies.

DP, and that's not it. At all. Why you're mischaracterizing the problem is beyond me.

It's not "every post they aren't in." It's *specific* posts, with other members of their social circle, and from which they were excluded.

But, we get it, you love to post with your #bestmomfreeeeiiiinndddsss and don't want to stop letting people know that you're having #somuchfun. We get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Okay, so don't post photos with any people in them?

If you aren't a troll, I think you need to see a therapist because this is an insanely intense response to some frankly mild criticism of the practice of posting photos of small social gatherings to social media.

But sure, yes, I think you should never post photos with humans in them. That is the rule I am advocating for, and not just being a little bit thoughtful.

Alright just give me an example of a post which is acceptable to you which includes humans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are trolls, right? Tell me these are trolls.

I just hope there are not people in the world who are ACTUALLY this mad about the idea that that someone might be mildly hurt by a photo they post. This is so off the rails.

I can’t believe there are people in here who see every post they aren’t in as an attack on themselves and that it means all of their relationships are lies.

DP, and that's not it. At all. Why you're mischaracterizing the problem is beyond me.

It's not "every post they aren't in." It's *specific* posts, with other members of their social circle, and from which they were excluded.

But, we get it, you love to post with your #bestmomfreeeeiiiinndddsss and don't want to stop letting people know that you're having #somuchfun. We get it.

Are you the same one who objected to a photo of a family BBQ because it might not have all cousins in it?

[Anonymous]

After reading several pages of this, I can see why these ladies were not invited to the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are trolls, right? Tell me these are trolls.

I just hope there are not people in the world who are ACTUALLY this mad about the idea that that someone might be mildly hurt by a photo they post. This is so off the rails.

I can’t believe there are people in here who see every post they aren’t in as an attack on themselves and that it means all of their relationships are lies.

DP, and that's not it. At all. Why you're mischaracterizing the problem is beyond me.

It's not "every post they aren't in." It's *specific* posts, with other members of their social circle, and from which they were excluded.

But, we get it, you love to post with your #bestmomfreeeeiiiinndddsss and don't want to stop letting people know that you're having #somuchfun. We get it.

That one lady was attacking ALL social photos. She was taking about seeing a photo of a neighbor’s BBQ hostile behavior. My neighbors have had plenty of BBQs. I have been invited to some but not all. I can’t imagine getting mad about seeing a photo from one I wasn’t invited to. That’s not a normal emotional response for an adult.