Does he want his ex back? I’m flying out to spend Valentine’s Day with him tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 22 year old daughter. In your situation, I would tell her - you are the prize. If he doesn’t recognize that and act accordingly, he is not the one for you. He will only disrespect you as long as you let him. You spent money and time flying to see him. What effort is he making? I understand if he doesn’t have much money (though at 30 he probably has some discretionary income), but did he make you breakfast today? Has he put thought into what would make this a good weekend for you? Has he asked what you may want to do? Has he thanked you for coming to see him, and told you how much he was looking forward to it? If he’s not doing these kinds of things - and is scrolling on his phone, playing video games and texting his ex - he is flat out disrespectful. Even if he is just looking for something easy right now, the way he is treating you lacks basic decency. He’s older and probably would admit that he’s just taking advantage of your naïveté, if he engaged in any self-reflection at all. You need to emotionally and physically distance from him. He may put in the work in a few months or he may not. In the meantime, you won’t lose your self respect.

Yup. All of this. If you don’t know this innately, then you need to print this out and live by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 22 year old daughter. In your situation, I would tell her - you are the prize. If he doesn’t recognize that and act accordingly, he is not the one for you. He will only disrespect you as long as you let him. You spent money and time flying to see him. What effort is he making? I understand if he doesn’t have much money (though at 30 he probably has some discretionary income), but did he make you breakfast today? Has he put thought into what would make this a good weekend for you? Has he asked what you may want to do? Has he thanked you for coming to see him, and told you how much he was looking forward to it? If he’s not doing these kinds of things - and is scrolling on his phone, playing video games and texting his ex - he is flat out disrespectful. Even if he is just looking for something easy right now, the way he is treating you lacks basic decency. He’s older and probably would admit that he’s just taking advantage of your naïveté, if he engaged in any self-reflection at all. You need to emotionally and physically distance from him. He may put in the work in a few months or he may not. In the meantime, you won’t lose your self respect.

Yup. All of this. If you don’t know this innately, then you need to print this out and live by it.

+100 a thousand zillion. Unfortunately people don’t always give due respect. You take the respect you have for yourself and don’t let anyone undermine that. It is a hard lesson to learn but you are doomed to repeat the same crap with a different person. Don’t feel ashamed, everyone has a learning curve. Just learn from this mistake and print out this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he do anything to show that he's into you?

Him wanting to come spend Valentine’s weekend with him? Isn’t that obvious enough?

If he was so into you, he’d come to you. Instead your going to him. It’s just bed warming.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a 22 year old daughter. In your situation, I would tell her - you are the prize. If he doesn’t recognize that and act accordingly, he is not the one for you. He will only disrespect you as long as you let him. You spent money and time flying to see him. What effort is he making? I understand if he doesn’t have much money (though at 30 he probably has some discretionary income), but did he make you breakfast today? Has he put thought into what would make this a good weekend for you? Has he asked what you may want to do? Has he thanked you for coming to see him, and told you how much he was looking forward to it? If he’s not doing these kinds of things - and is scrolling on his phone, playing video games and texting his ex - he is flat out disrespectful. Even if he is just looking for something easy right now, the way he is treating you lacks basic decency. He’s older and probably would admit that he’s just taking advantage of your naïveté, if he engaged in any self-reflection at all. You need to emotionally and physically distance from him. He may put in the work in a few months or he may not. In the meantime, you won’t lose your self respect.

Yup. All of this. If you don’t know this innately, then you need to print this out and live by it.

I suspect OP has either had no (or very little) male attention or been treated badly by someone. So any amount of positive attention even if it’s crumbs feels good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HE TEXTED HER HAPPY VALENTINES DAY with a heart emoji lmao.

The ex screen shot it and put it the group the group chat with my cousin.
This is hilarious.

Why are you laughing? You should be crying. He is not over her. You have your answer (although it was already clear). Leave. He is not the guy. He still wants her. You are being stupid and being used. Find someone who wants you. He does not want you.

Why is she laughing? She’s 22! Good for her for laughing. Op will move on and be just fine. She has lots of options and does not need to settle down for many years if ever! Oh to be 22 again..oh my!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HE TEXTED HER HAPPY VALENTINES DAY with a heart emoji lmao.

The ex screen shot it and put it the group the group chat with my cousin.
This is hilarious.

Why are you laughing? You should be crying. He is not over her. You have your answer (although it was already clear). Leave. He is not the guy. He still wants her. You are being stupid and being used. Find someone who wants you. He does not want you.

Why is she laughing? She’s 22! Good for her for laughing. Op will move on and be just fine. She has lots of options and does not need to settle down for many years if ever! Oh to be 22 again..oh my!

LOL. No she doesn’t. If she had “lots of options” she wouldn’t have paid to fly across the country to see a guy who isn’t interested in her.

[Anonymous]

OP what does he do for work?

[Anonymous]

OP is your self esteem this low? Come on. This is embarrassing that you are giving this guy the time of day.

[Anonymous]

He's on the rebound. Do not get emotionally invested right now.

Also, you both are very immature.

[Anonymous]

So all of you were wrong ☺️

he started following me again on IG last night and I followed him back too. Not long after I get a message from his ex saying he got mad at her yesterday and just followed me to strike back at her. That he told her all about me and how he supposedly said he couldn’t wait for me to leave, texted her on vday, asked to go dinner the moment I left. She said he was posting things about her days before I came to see him. Said she had pictures of proof. All this other stuff. She ended it by saying he’s got issues and he’s judging me as a means to hurt her. She just wanted to warn me that so that I wouldn’t get hurt and wished me good luck.

I never looked at the pictures she sent me as “proof”. Just deleted him. I told him and he just said she’s just a jealous crazy ex who got upset when she heard about me. Then I blocked her

I’m clearly the one that he wants. I’m starting to think he just made up “working things out with my ex” because he got cold feet and came to his senses about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all of you were wrong ☺️

he started following me again on IG last night and I followed him back too. Not long after I get a message from his ex saying he got mad at her yesterday and just followed me to strike back at her. That he told her all about me and how he supposedly said he couldn’t wait for me to leave, texted her on vday, asked to go dinner the moment I left. She said he was posting things about her days before I came to see him. Said she had pictures of proof. All this other stuff. She ended it by saying he’s got issues and he’s judging me as a means to hurt her. She just wanted to warn me that so that I wouldn’t get hurt and wished me good luck.

I never looked at the pictures she sent me as “proof”. Just deleted him. I told him and he just said she’s just a jealous crazy ex who got upset when she heard about me. Then I blocked her

I’m clearly the one that he wants. I’m starting to think he just made up “working things out with my ex” because he got cold feet and came to his senses about me.

Everything you just described demonstrates that what people were saying was 100% correct.
- that he was still hung up on his ex and not done with her
- that things wouldn’t work out for you
- and that you should move on (which you just did so yay)

If anything everyone was right. Not that it’s even about that. You asked for advice and people gave you good advice. You decided to not take such advice and figure it out the hard way. Sometimes in life we need to do that. Same outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all of you were wrong ☺️

he started following me again on IG last night and I followed him back too. Not long after I get a message from his ex saying he got mad at her yesterday and just followed me to strike back at her. That he told her all about me and how he supposedly said he couldn’t wait for me to leave, texted her on vday, asked to go dinner the moment I left. She said he was posting things about her days before I came to see him. Said she had pictures of proof. All this other stuff. She ended it by saying he’s got issues and he’s judging me as a means to hurt her. She just wanted to warn me that so that I wouldn’t get hurt and wished me good luck.

I never looked at the pictures she sent me as “proof”. Just deleted him. I told him and he just said she’s just a jealous crazy ex who got upset when she heard about me. Then I blocked her

I’m clearly the one that he wants. I’m starting to think he just made up “working things out with my ex” because he got cold feet and came to his senses about me.

Everything you just described demonstrates that what people were saying was 100% correct.
- that he was still hung up on his ex and not done with her
- that things wouldn’t work out for you
- and that you should move on (which you just did so yay)

If anything everyone was right. Not that it’s even about that. You asked for advice and people gave you good advice. You decided to not take such advice and figure it out the hard way. Sometimes in life we need to do that. Same outcome.

If he’s so hung up on her why did he follow me back on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all of you were wrong ☺️

he started following me again on IG last night and I followed him back too. Not long after I get a message from his ex saying he got mad at her yesterday and just followed me to strike back at her. That he told her all about me and how he supposedly said he couldn’t wait for me to leave, texted her on vday, asked to go dinner the moment I left. She said he was posting things about her days before I came to see him. Said she had pictures of proof. All this other stuff. She ended it by saying he’s got issues and he’s judging me as a means to hurt her. She just wanted to warn me that so that I wouldn’t get hurt and wished me good luck.

I never looked at the pictures she sent me as “proof”. Just deleted him. I told him and he just said she’s just a jealous crazy ex who got upset when she heard about me. Then I blocked her

I’m clearly the one that he wants. I’m starting to think he just made up “working things out with my ex” because he got cold feet and came to his senses about me.

Everything you just described demonstrates that what people were saying was 100% correct.
- that he was still hung up on his ex and not done with her
- that things wouldn’t work out for you
- and that you should move on (which you just did so yay)

If anything everyone was right. Not that it’s even about that. You asked for advice and people gave you good advice. You decided to not take such advice and figure it out the hard way. Sometimes in life we need to do that. Same outcome.

I hate that I even looked at this post! PP, you misread, the OP is not moving on, she is gloating and happily returning to this saga. I need to get a life...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all of you were wrong ☺️

he started following me again on IG last night and I followed him back too. Not long after I get a message from his ex saying he got mad at her yesterday and just followed me to strike back at her. That he told her all about me and how he supposedly said he couldn’t wait for me to leave, texted her on vday, asked to go dinner the moment I left. She said he was posting things about her days before I came to see him. Said she had pictures of proof. All this other stuff. She ended it by saying he’s got issues and he’s judging me as a means to hurt her. She just wanted to warn me that so that I wouldn’t get hurt and wished me good luck.

I never looked at the pictures she sent me as “proof”. Just deleted him. I told him and he just said she’s just a jealous crazy ex who got upset when she heard about me. Then I blocked her

I’m clearly the one that he wants. I’m starting to think he just made up “working things out with my ex” because he got cold feet and came to his senses about me.

Everything you just described demonstrates that what people were saying was 100% correct.
- that he was still hung up on his ex and not done with her
- that things wouldn’t work out for you
- and that you should move on (which you just did so yay)

If anything everyone was right. Not that it’s even about that. You asked for advice and people gave you good advice. You decided to not take such advice and figure it out the hard way. Sometimes in life we need to do that. Same outcome.

If he’s so hung up on her why did he follow me back on social media?

Because it is a juvenile way to make someone jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all of you were wrong ☺️

he started following me again on IG last night and I followed him back too. Not long after I get a message from his ex saying he got mad at her yesterday and just followed me to strike back at her. That he told her all about me and how he supposedly said he couldn’t wait for me to leave, texted her on vday, asked to go dinner the moment I left. She said he was posting things about her days before I came to see him. Said she had pictures of proof. All this other stuff. She ended it by saying he’s got issues and he’s judging me as a means to hurt her. She just wanted to warn me that so that I wouldn’t get hurt and wished me good luck.

I never looked at the pictures she sent me as “proof”. Just deleted him. I told him and he just said she’s just a jealous crazy ex who got upset when she heard about me. Then I blocked her

I’m clearly the one that he wants. I’m starting to think he just made up “working things out with my ex” because he got cold feet and came to his senses about me.

Everything you just described demonstrates that what people were saying was 100% correct.
- that he was still hung up on his ex and not done with her
- that things wouldn’t work out for you
- and that you should move on (which you just did so yay)

If anything everyone was right. Not that it’s even about that. You asked for advice and people gave you good advice. You decided to not take such advice and figure it out the hard way. Sometimes in life we need to do that. Same outcome.

I hate that I even looked at this post! PP, you misread, the OP is not moving on, she is gloating and happily returning to this saga. I need to get a life...

Same, I am retching inside for responding. I need to cut myself off. Bye