Does he want his ex back? I’m flying out to spend Valentine’s Day with him tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Guys, OP just wants to hear that this is going to work out so she can justify continuing to sleep with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, OP just wants to hear that this is going to work out so she can justify continuing to sleep with him.

I’m genuinely asking...what exactly in my OP makes it seem like he wants her back? I’m not trying to argue, I’m genuinely confused because all I’m seeing is that he’s made a few innocuous posts. So again, I want to know exactly in the OP shows that he wants her back.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, he’s just using you to get the ex jealous.

How do I know that? I did that myself when I was young, and it worked. I got back together with the ex and we’ve been married 20+ years now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, he’s just using you to get the ex jealous.

How do I know that? I did that myself when I was young, and it worked. I got back together with the ex and we’ve been married 20+ years now.

Interesting. The ex doesn’t know about me so how could he be using me to make her jealous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, he’s just using you to get the ex jealous.

How do I know that? I did that myself when I was young, and it worked. I got back together with the ex and we’ve been married 20+ years now.

Interesting. The ex doesn’t know about me so how could he be using me to make her jealous?

Trust me, he will make sure she knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, he’s just using you to get the ex jealous.

How do I know that? I did that myself when I was young, and it worked. I got back together with the ex and we’ve been married 20+ years now.

Interesting. The ex doesn’t know about me so how could he be using me to make her jealous?

Trust me, he will make sure she knows.

What makes you so sure? He could just genuinely want to move on. I met my DH 2 months after I broke up my ex.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter what the posts are. Your cousin, his friend, is telling you he’s not over his ex.

And you are thinking like a woman when trying to make sense of him spending v-day weekend with you. As a woman, you wouldn’t spend a weekend that has romantic connotations with someone who you weren’t interested in a long term relationship. But he’s a guy. His heart wants her, his d!ck wants a warm hole.

Right now, you are that warm hole. Not to say he might decide in the future he like your warm hole better than hers and eventually give you his heart. But the collective experience of DCUM would say, not likely. If he does get over her, he won’t look to you for a relationship. He’ll go look for someone else he respects more or doesn’t remind him of the difficult time in his life.

Plus, once a guy is into you, really into you, you won’t have to read between the lines and interpret his social media posts and ask people what things mean. This isn’t your guy. Have fun, if that’s what you want. But don’t do the “pick me” dance and try to prove you are better than ex.

Plus, why would you want to be with a guy who wouldn’t go to therapy with his gf of 2 years. He’d rather walk than do therapy—pass, not the right guy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter what the posts are. Your cousin, his friend, is telling you he’s not over his ex.

And you are thinking like a woman when trying to make sense of him spending v-day weekend with you. As a woman, you wouldn’t spend a weekend that has romantic connotations with someone who you weren’t interested in a long term relationship. But he’s a guy. His heart wants her, his d!ck wants a warm hole.

Right now, you are that warm hole. Not to say he might decide in the future he like your warm hole better than hers and eventually give you his heart. But the collective experience of DCUM would say, not likely. If he does get over her, he won’t look to you for a relationship. He’ll go look for someone else he respects more or doesn’t remind him of the difficult time in his life.

Plus, once a guy is into you, really into you, you won’t have to read between the lines and interpret his social media posts and ask people what things mean. This isn’t your guy. Have fun, if that’s what you want. But don’t do the “pick me” dance and try to prove you are better than ex.

Plus, why would you want to be with a guy who wouldn’t go to therapy with his gf of 2 years. He’d rather walk than do therapy—pass, not the right guy for you.

PP, met DH 2 months after ex. I’m curious to know, if the cousin wasn’t warning OP and just go off the other details would you still think this guy wanted his ex back? I’m curious to know if the cousin is the driving force behind people saying OP is a placeholder.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the gorilla glue post. I think seeing it makes more sense than describing it.

https://imgur.com/a/kEieRFm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter what the posts are. Your cousin, his friend, is telling you he’s not over his ex.

And you are thinking like a woman when trying to make sense of him spending v-day weekend with you. As a woman, you wouldn’t spend a weekend that has romantic connotations with someone who you weren’t interested in a long term relationship. But he’s a guy. His heart wants her, his d!ck wants a warm hole.

Right now, you are that warm hole. Not to say he might decide in the future he like your warm hole better than hers and eventually give you his heart. But the collective experience of DCUM would say, not likely. If he does get over her, he won’t look to you for a relationship. He’ll go look for someone else he respects more or doesn’t remind him of the difficult time in his life.

Plus, once a guy is into you, really into you, you won’t have to read between the lines and interpret his social media posts and ask people what things mean. This isn’t your guy. Have fun, if that’s what you want. But don’t do the “pick me” dance and try to prove you are better than ex.

Plus, why would you want to be with a guy who wouldn’t go to therapy with his gf of 2 years. He’d rather walk than do therapy—pass, not the right guy for you.

PP, met DH 2 months after ex. I’m curious to know, if the cousin wasn’t warning OP and just go off the other details would you still think this guy wanted his ex back? I’m curious to know if the cousin is the driving force behind people saying OP is a placeholder.

No, I think the post and contact with her mother are suspect. If I’m over someone, really over or at least trying to get over them why would a post something with their name on it. Do you really need to show off you got some stupid swag? Only time it would make sense to show off swag that also was your ex’s name was if she was named Rolex. None of it is a fire, but definitely smoke that he’s not over her.

Did you have any signs that could’ve gone either way when you started seeing your DH?

[Anonymous]

He could want to see you for Valentines AND still be unresolved about his ex - the two are not mutually exclusive.
I would just be cautious and move slowly He is definitely rebounding, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things won’t eork out with you.

This guy sounds a bit immature, to be honest. Why was his ex asking for couples therapy? That’s a bit concerning, but maybe they just weren’t a good match. And all of those odd Instagram posts. I’m not understanding what you’re drawn to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the gorilla glue post. I think seeing it makes more sense than describing it.

https://imgur.com/a/kEieRFm

And MED are her initials? Uh, OP - there are just too many red flags. If he’s actually communicating messages to his ex in this way, rather than reaching out to her directly, then he’s very emotionally immature - especially for a 30 year old man, c’mon. And you were warned *right out of the gate* by his best friend, who knows him well, that he’s not over his ex. He’s posting these stupid things...and you are trying so, so hard to justify it to yourself.

The fact that he wants to see you for V-day doesn’t really signify anything.

[Anonymous]

^^ just to add - I’m sorry. I know it’s a bummer but you can do better than this guy,

[Anonymous]

And just in case you are pressing to be the new GF but are actually the ex - “MED” - I say the same thing - you can do better than this guy.

[Anonymous]

^^*pretending to be*