Why do demanding women seem to have the most loving, faithful husbands?
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Anonymous
this. if demanding means simply saying what you want or need, and having those needs met, and the wants seriously considered by your partner...this isn't being a bitch. women are taught to dissemble from the day they turn 2, basically. One of the reasons many of us have such terrible relationships with our mothers is they were taught never to say what they need but they still *needed* the thing, so it is makes sense that manipulation (unconscious or conscious) becomes the only way to get heard (in reality or in their heads.) Yes, it is these women's responsibility to reflect and work through it, and be healthier at some point, but some people don't have the tools to do so, don't have the self-knowledge, have been steamrolled their whole lives, & have had terrible parents themselves. sexism is a cycle. family dysfunction is a cycle. give everyone a break, and don't think asking for what you want and need is demanding. It's normal and healthy. |
Anonymous
Let me tell you about some of the men I know that say the exact same type of thing....and if they have a co-worker or friend that cheats they will tell you how awful, what a scumbag. They don’t consider when they do it themselves that it’s bad. I have many very strong, career women friends in their 50s that were blindsided by cheating after 20-years of marriage. This is why I just roll my eyes at the smugness on this board. 60% infidelity rate. Some of you are being cheated on... |
Anonymous
| i have never seen this correlation. But, I'm also in my early 30s; most of my friends are in long term committed relationships but not married, or not have been married for long. |
Anonymous
Many are being cheated on. Those who are know it or suspect it. For others, there is no cheating. As I mentioned before - if a woman will walk out of a marriage because of infidelity and the husband knows it - he will not cheat. You only cheat when women will take it. Demanding women are either divorced or in happy no cheating marriages. My friend's husband has a mistress. She is neither walking out nor willing to give him a divorce. She is just hanging on because she will lose the cushy lifestyle he provides. She has been cheated on many times but she took it. The last time he moved in with a girl as old as his own daughter. At that she threw a fit and he just moved in with the mistress. It is status quo. |
Anonymous
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Can pps who think demanding women means harpy, nasty, emasculating theri husbands describe their fathers? How were they as dads to you?
And also pps who are saying demanding women know what they want and there is nothing wrong with that, also maybe describe how their dads were as dads? I am just curious if there is a correlation. We can try the same with moms. Were your moms outspoken, demanded what they wanted, or were your moms demure, dad knows best, keeping the peace in the family kind of moms and wives. I am just curious. Thanks. |
Anonymous
Nah. You want to believe you would know or suspect. My friend’s husband had everyone fooled. They had sex 4 times per week. In fact, he was so gah-gah for her. They openly had so much fun together. I was jealous of how they were at parties. They never did separate nights out or weekends. Both the life of the party. Both involved in their kids’ lives. Both make good $. He had an online affair that he confessed 20 years in that shocked the sh@t out of everyone. She’s the strongest woman I know and I was at their house all of the time. The ensuing shock has made me believe anyone is capable....especially after I found out my Beta boss (nice wimpy guy) was having an office affair. It changed my view of men forever. His wife ruled the roost at home. In fact, that’s what drove him into the arms of his colleague. They both did not like their home lives- being ordered around. Skype messaging allows for zero tracking—no phone or text records. A work day screw and nobody is “missing”. Odds are some of these strong women will experience infidelity. It is very well hidden. |
Anonymous
Your friend has a public persona that you believed. I am not surprised. You are interpreting the word Demanding as different things - Bossy, bitchy, "ruling the roost", strong, nag. It is none of these things. A demanding woman is demanding on herself and her spouse. She does not compromise on who she marries. She is fully willing to upset the status quo and walk out of a marriage where infidelity is concerned. They are either happily married to a loyal husband or happily divorced when the husband cheats. They generally do not attract the losers in the first place. They are not controlling but they are pretty black and white where infidelity is concerned. The demand 100% from their spouse and themselves. Women with very high self-esteem, a loving biological family and the means to stand on their own two feet. |
Anonymous
I consider myself "demanding". My dad worked a lot when I was younger (engineer), but around middle school his job was more relaxed. Involved, helped with homework, took me fishing and mountain biking on weekends. My mom wasn't outspoken, but a good amount of my parents' money was due to her real estate investments (she was a nurse). When my dad's job was more relaxed, she went back to school to get her master's degree. I don't think either of them was the "dominant voice" in their relationship, I think both of them were probably "demanding" people. |
Anonymous
So Jeff Bezos was a loser? What about Sergey Brin? |
Anonymous
What happens when the demanding wife IS the cheater  ?
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Anonymous
Married to Betas. A lot of them end up that way...sexually frustrated and lacking respect for the doormat husband over time. |
Anonymous
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Nothing is black and white when kids are involved.
If it is, you are not a good mother. |
Anonymous
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It’s easy when nobody wants to f@ck your husbands
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Anonymous
This is an interesting line of thought, so I will contribute my experience. I am one of the so called demanding women with a faithful, loving husband of 20 years. I am a Daddy's girl. My father was affectionate and loving, but also took his anger out on us kids at times. I would vacillate between adoring and fearing him. As an adult, I have an open, loving relationship with him and consider him one of my favorite people. Early on, he was unfaithful to my Mother. They got through it and he's been faithful ever since. Obviously, I don't know everything about them. My mom was a functional alcoholic during my childhood. She was tough as hell with everyone, except my dad. I hated that he hurt her, but she never wavered in her devotion to him. As a child, I swore I would never tolerate cheating, alcoholism (in myself or a mate) or bullsh!t. Many guys told me I was high maintenance or that no guy could possibly meet my standards. Quite a few told me I wasn't worth it. My dh and I dated for 7 years before marriage and discussed all aspects of our potential future ad nauseam. Dh grew up with fighting parents who hated each other. We both wanted a peaceful, loving, faithful marriage for life and that is precisely what we have. |
Anonymous
Welp, good thing we pick well. |