If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little baffled by the idea women who don't have sex with their husbands would be surprised by divorce. If you're having sex less than once a month without any obvious medical reason, you should be surprised if you're not getting divorced.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little baffled by the idea women who don't have sex with their husbands would be surprised by divorce. If you're having sex less than once a month without any obvious medical reason, you should be surprised if you're not getting divorced.

Agreed

Should men who are refusing to have sex with their wives be similarly expecting divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am. DH doesn’t want it. It’s been years since he’s wanted it. He’s tried a few times, maybe 3 or 4 times in the last year, but stops because he’s not into it or can’t say hard.

I’ve asked him if it’s me, he says it’s not. I’ve asked him for 3 years to see a doctor, he did last year but hasn’t followed up on bloodwork, and well, we all know this isn’t an emergency visit.

I found lube and he said it’s easy for him to masturbate in the shower.

I am the same weight as when we married.

I have increasingly fantasized about random men, lovers from my twenties, random men I would see out and about, for about two weeks or so when I’m mid-cycle. I feel like sometimes I need to lock myself in my room for the few days leading up to ovulation.

I could leave and it would be ok financially. I make enough to live in an apartment or townhome. I like our life though. It’s comfortable and stable. We have kids. We both had super messed up childhoods and so I really like that I can feed our kids, have a house, see them every day, and basically be stable.

I just miss and want sex. But eventually I think that will go away when I start menopause, which isn’t really that far away.

I thought I wrote this. But my DH has not tried in 4 years. I regret marrying him. I don’t resent him as that would mean that I still have feelings for him, and I have none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little baffled by the idea women who don't have sex with their husbands would be surprised by divorce. If you're having sex less than once a month without any obvious medical reason, you should be surprised if you're not getting divorced.

Agreed

Should men who are refusing to have sex with their wives be similarly expecting divorce?

Yes. It’s not a marriage at all without sex.

[Anonymous]

+1 I had it with my ex when after years of excuses and no initiating he ruffled on my shoulder while I was taking care of myself to make me calm down from my nightmare. Not giving me any orgasms was one thing, interrupting my cheap one's - bye and thank you, next.

My ex was plain stupid. We had perfect opportunities even with a toddler. Live-in help, child-free weekends or I'd offer to hook onto his worktrips. Now I have all that with someone else and not taking him back no matter how often he begs me to.

I will admit that sexual frustration turned me into a snarky, passive-aggresive pita. I would bang doors and shrink his washing on purpose in the end. So as a woman I can say for myself that I can't be converted into a low libido wife appliance to save family life.
Cheating was never an option to me. It isn't in my blood to lead a double-life.

[Anonymous]

In the very short term, yes. No sex for 7 months, and you get used to it after a while (and years of infrequent sex leading up to this). 42 years old and of course I am not resigned to a sexless existence forever. But for now, I choose stability. My guess is when COVID19 lifts I can talk to a lawyer about what it would look like to split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 I had it with my ex when after years of excuses and no initiating he ruffled on my shoulder while I was taking care of myself to make me calm down from my nightmare. Not giving me any orgasms was one thing, interrupting my cheap one's - bye and thank you, next.

My ex was plain stupid. We had perfect opportunities even with a toddler. Live-in help, child-free weekends or I'd offer to hook onto his worktrips. Now I have all that with someone else and not taking him back no matter how often he begs me to.

I will admit that sexual frustration turned me into a snarky, passive-aggresive pita. I would bang doors and shrink his washing on purpose in the end. So as a woman I can say for myself that I can't be converted into a low libido wife appliance to save family life.
Cheating was never an option to me. It isn't in my blood to lead a double-life.

Women are made of sterner stuff than men are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 I had it with my ex when after years of excuses and no initiating he ruffled on my shoulder while I was taking care of myself to make me calm down from my nightmare. Not giving me any orgasms was one thing, interrupting my cheap one's - bye and thank you, next.

My ex was plain stupid. We had perfect opportunities even with a toddler. Live-in help, child-free weekends or I'd offer to hook onto his worktrips. Now I have all that with someone else and not taking him back no matter how often he begs me to.

I will admit that sexual frustration turned me into a snarky, passive-aggresive pita. I would bang doors and shrink his washing on purpose in the end. So as a woman I can say for myself that I can't be converted into a low libido wife appliance to save family life.
Cheating was never an option to me. It isn't in my blood to lead a double-life.

Women are made of sterner stuff than men are.

You mean to say that Women can easily go without sex due to their lower sex drive. Men, having a higher drive, cannot go without sex.

[Anonymous]

I’m 50 and my husband is 60. I am chasing him around tables and he always makes an excuse for why he can’t. It’s starting to piss me off! Just got married last July. I still look great in a bikini! WTF. I hope he stays calm when I have an affair!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 50 and my husband is 60. I am chasing him around tables and he always makes an excuse for why he can’t. It’s starting to piss me off! Just got married last July. I still look great in a bikini! WTF. I hope he stays calm when I have an affair!

Probably ED issues.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little baffled by the idea women who don't have sex with their husbands would be surprised by divorce. If you're having sex less than once a month without any obvious medical reason, you should be surprised if you're not getting divorced.

Agreed

Should men who are refusing to have sex with their wives be similarly expecting divorce?

Duh, who actually thinks sexless marriages are likely to survive? I mean, short term sure, or health issues, maybe but long term? It's not a marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 50 and my husband is 60. I am chasing him around tables and he always makes an excuse for why he can’t. It’s starting to piss me off! Just got married last July. I still look great in a bikini! WTF. I hope he stays calm when I have an affair!

Probably ED issues.?

Probably so, but there is more to do then just straight up sex.