Will this wreck my relationship?

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, just read your update - so sorry. You deserve SO MUCH better than what he's able to give you. WHEN (not if) he attempts to contact you again and be apologetic, and gain your sympathy (because you are a caring person), hold strong. Go no contact. I know it hurts like hell, and how hard it is to break it off with someone you cared so much about. It is exponentially harder when that person has also stripped you of your self-esteem, self worth, and identity.

Unfortunately, it's going to take a long time to recover - to not only mourn the loss of the relationship, but to also rebuild your identity and self-worth that was lost. Give the gift of time, therapy, and self-care to yourself. You will become strong again, it will just take time.

Please hear this - how he saw you - that is not you. It's some distorted view he had to make you into, to cope with his own deep insecurities and flaws. How he treated you, that also does not reflect on the real you.

[Anonymous]

OP, several people have said that they married the awful guy and they regret it. I didn’t marry the awful guy. We broke up. And it was really painful. And I was certain I’d be alone forever. After being on my own for a year or so, I met a wonderful loving man who proposed a year after we started dating without any prodding or pushing from me. Fifteen years later, I look back on the failed relationship and I am SO GLAD I didn’t stay with him.

This is the best thing that could have happened. Really. Be prepared because he will try to get you back. Don’t let him. I’m sorry for the pain you are in now. But I’m so happy for all the future pain you’ve avoided. Congrats on being strong and making a great decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP:

I sat him down before dinner and had some notes typed up on my phone. I was shaking and told him how nervous I was. I got through reading my notes with some tears. He told me I was very braved and hugged me. I thought that was a good sign.

We had dinner, and he didn't bring up another word about it. After dinner, I circled back to what I was saying, and he flipped his lid. He ended up calling me a b*tch and told me "f*ck you" around 4 times. He said, "Why can't you just be happy with where we are!? Why do you need a marriage to fulfill you?! Are you THAT empty?!" He said he didn't want a wife and kids getting in the way of him hosting game nights with his friends once a week.

So, we're not together anymore.

OMG, I am so sorry. My jaw literally dropped when I read that. I know this hurts so much right now, but you completely dodged a bullet. What a complete and total jerk. I guarantee you will come through this stronger and more beautiful in every way.

Just so you know, OP. This type is known to also sometimes circle back with an apology for their behavior. When this happens, know that you know him nothing. You stopped paying attention to him the first time he called you out of your name. The end.

[Anonymous]

How are you holding up, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to read that old book, “he’s just not that into you.”

This.

Move ON, OP.

Do not be surprised if he suddenly marries someone he has just met in a few years. But, it is unlikely to ever be you.

Start dating other people.

The harder you push, the more he is resisting. That is your answer.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, OP. Take care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? I don't believe that was his response.

So tired of all these troll threads in this forum.

Ha, thought the same.

[Anonymous]

OP he does a NOT feel the same about you. You do NOT want o marry a man who has to be convinced to marry you in the first place. He sounds dull and flat. Jesus you are gonna regret forcing the guy. Break up and see what happens. I’m guessing he will be eBagged to someone else in 2 years tops. When men are ready to marry they pretty much pull the trigger.

[Anonymous]

Good for him! I'm glad he stood his ground and made clear what he needs/wants from life. So much better for him than if he had gone along to get along. I wish more men would go their own way.