Takoma Park MD if you're not woke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define “woke”?

Is the opposite “asleep”?

If you want to live somewhere “asleep,” maybe Reston is good for you.

Virtue signaling, dogmatic, ideological people who firmly believe they're on the right side of history and sneer at those who don't agree with them as lesser species. You know, the people who call you racist no matter what you say, transphobic no matter what you say, etc, and that you are the second coming of you know what just for daring to vote differently. They pride themselves for being tolerant and open-minded while simultaneously being the most intolerant and judgmental people.

NP: this is my experience with TPK.

My family's run afoul of them for a few "transgressions," and the experiences have honestly left me so emotionally scarred that I've stopped trying to have any relationship or interaction with our community.

Now, you may think this is a "me" problem for being thin-skinned and weak... and perhaps it is. But I'm someone who was raised in a liberal religion, went to Quaker schools, votes Democrat across the board, doesn't own guns, supports immigration, etc. On paper I am a crunchy liberal. But these people and their toxic combination of affluence and disdain and carelessness, nearly broke my family apart.

There's a very rigid expectation about behavior, perhaps especially among Takoma Park women, that many of us mortals can't meet. Everything is passive aggressive. Tone is important. You should also probably apologize for any white privilege, (or bring up any bipoc ancestors), at least ten times in every conversation. It's performative, stultifying, and not at all fun.

Could you give an example of behavior "expectations" among Takoma Park women? I'm one, and I've never felt any pressure to be anything besides myself. I'm also pretty much the opposite of passive aggressive and I never worry about tone.

What conversations have you had where you needed to apologize for white privilege 10 times in every conversation? I've never apologized to anybody in Takoma Park for being White.

None of this makes sense. I doubt you ever lived in Takoma Park. You're probably a resident MAGA who's bored and slagging off the libs.

And let's just talk about how you capitalize the word "white."

You know who does that? Takoma park liberals and white supremacists. Funny, how liberal overcorrection leads to the same dismal place reached by fundies in Idaho. And by funny, I mean I'm lying: it's not funny.

DP - it triggers you to see White capitalized? Really?? Wow. Dude, it's just a convention. Calm down.

It's not a convention--or it wasn't until very recently. Black is capitalized when referring to a the Black identity. In America, the term has a specific meaning we can all get around: the identification of a group of people of African descent with shared history and culture. That definition includes both the tragedies and the triumphs of a collective past.

Capitalizing the word "white" has the effect of implying that "white" people should have a similar Identity. In Takoma Park, a place full of white people who have very little exposure to how this can go sideways, it probably seems fine. "Equitable," even. But it's not. What you're doing is legitimizing the kind of fake history that imagines there really is such a thing as a white race, and that this thing is a collective Identity.

Try to keep up. Not capitalizing "white" implies it's some kind of norm. Which it's not. That's why it's now capitalized.

Try and keep up... 'white' isn't an identity. Nor would you want to live in a world where it is one. The damage you people do when you're trying to be "correct" is not zero.

[Anonymous]

Let me explain some basic grammar, since perhaps you didn't learn it at your kids" Waldorf or your own six years at Sarah Lawrence:

Capitalize countries and continents. Hence, someone is Israeli, or Palestinian, or Asian, or European. Capitalize religions. Someone can be Jewish or Episcopalian. Or B'hai. Capitalizing Black, in reference to people who are of African-American or Caribbean heritage, when referring to that specific identity, falls under this domain.

But when you *don't* capitalize white, you are not saying it's "the norm." I mean, sure no doubt it was the norm in the UMC suburb that raised you, but not for the rest of us. When you don't capitalize white it becomes a descriptor. Like blond. Like black or brown when you're using the words as a neutral descriptors, which is, by the way, a perfectly acceptable way to use them.

When you do capitalize white, you are legitimizing people who believe there is actually a white "race." A white identity. It's really just a hop, skip, and a few bonfires from there to all the stuff you spend a great deal of time insisting you despise.

[Anonymous]

And yes, I know Washington Post's style guide does it now. Ran that by some friends of mine who are not white or American... And they're horrified.

There's so much damage liberals can do when they think they're being equitable, or worse, "kind." You only have to look at the responses here, the attacks on people who don't share their opinions, or who dare criticize them in any way, to see how thin their veneer of mindfulness is. Takoma Parkers pride themselves on being kind, but they also want to think they're champions, protecting the less fortunate with lawn signs and sustainable shopping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me explain some basic grammar, since perhaps you didn't learn it at your kids" Waldorf or your own six years at Sarah Lawrence:

Capitalize countries and continents. Hence, someone is Israeli, or Palestinian, or Asian, or European. Capitalize religions. Someone can be Jewish or Episcopalian. Or B'hai. Capitalizing Black, in reference to people who are of African-American or Caribbean heritage, when referring to that specific identity, falls under this domain.

But when you *don't* capitalize white, you are not saying it's "the norm." I mean, sure no doubt it was the norm in the UMC suburb that raised you, but not for the rest of us. When you don't capitalize white it becomes a descriptor. Like blond. Like black or brown when you're using the words as a neutral descriptors, which is, by the way, a perfectly acceptable way to use them.

When you do capitalize white, you are legitimizing people who believe there is actually a white "race." A white identity. It's really just a hop, skip, and a few bonfires from there to all the stuff you spend a great deal of time insisting you despise.

Do you live in Takoma Park? You’re kind of Exhibit A for intolerance over issues that real people aren’t even aware of, and didn’t ask for, like “LatinX.” If you’re from TKPK, then OP needs to know this exists here even if the rest of us don’t debate it in school lines or on the sidewalks when we’re walking our dogs.

- progressive, almost crunchy person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define “woke”?

Is the opposite “asleep”?

If you want to live somewhere “asleep,” maybe Reston is good for you.

Virtue signaling, dogmatic, ideological people who firmly believe they're on the right side of history and sneer at those who don't agree with them as lesser species. You know, the people who call you racist no matter what you say, transphobic no matter what you say, etc, and that you are the second coming of you know what just for daring to vote differently. They pride themselves for being tolerant and open-minded while simultaneously being the most intolerant and judgmental people.

NP: this is my experience with TPK.

My family's run afoul of them for a few "transgressions," and the experiences have honestly left me so emotionally scarred that I've stopped trying to have any relationship or interaction with our community.

Now, you may think this is a "me" problem for being thin-skinned and weak... and perhaps it is. But I'm someone who was raised in a liberal religion, went to Quaker schools, votes Democrat across the board, doesn't own guns, supports immigration, etc. On paper I am a crunchy liberal. But these people and their toxic combination of affluence and disdain and carelessness, nearly broke my family apart.

There's a very rigid expectation about behavior, perhaps especially among Takoma Park women, that many of us mortals can't meet. Everything is passive aggressive. Tone is important. You should also probably apologize for any white privilege, (or bring up any bipoc ancestors), at least ten times in every conversation. It's performative, stultifying, and not at all fun.

Could you give an example of behavior "expectations" among Takoma Park women? I'm one, and I've never felt any pressure to be anything besides myself. I'm also pretty much the opposite of passive aggressive and I never worry about tone.

What conversations have you had where you needed to apologize for white privilege 10 times in every conversation? I've never apologized to anybody in Takoma Park for being White.

None of this makes sense. I doubt you ever lived in Takoma Park. You're probably a resident MAGA who's bored and slagging off the libs.

And let's just talk about how you capitalize the word "white."

You know who does that? Takoma park liberals and white supremacists. Funny, how liberal overcorrection leads to the same dismal place reached by fundies in Idaho. And by funny, I mean I'm lying: it's not funny.

DP - it triggers you to see White capitalized? Really?? Wow. Dude, it's just a convention. Calm down.

It's not a convention--or it wasn't until very recently. Black is capitalized when referring to a the Black identity. In America, the term has a specific meaning we can all get around: the identification of a group of people of African descent with shared history and culture. That definition includes both the tragedies and the triumphs of a collective past.

Capitalizing the word "white" has the effect of implying that "white" people should have a similar Identity. In Takoma Park, a place full of white people who have very little exposure to how this can go sideways, it probably seems fine. "Equitable," even. But it's not. What you're doing is legitimizing the kind of fake history that imagines there really is such a thing as a white race, and that this thing is a collective Identity.

I hear what you are saying but I don't think some racial equity advocates understand how incredibly off-putting it is to constantly be changing the rules around terminology/capitalization and acting like when a person uses the old rule, they are doing something horrible to Black people. It really undermines the credibility of the racial equity movement.

To me capitalizing White emphasizes that race is a social construct. Also, the whole point of White supremacy culture is this notion that Whiteness is better. That can't exist if White people don't have a shared history (of oppressing BIPOC people). Is it an identity to embrace and promote? Of course not. But it exist.

The only people who give a crap about this are people for whom their entire identity is arguing about identity politics and who are very invested in keeping people as angry as possible. This goes for both sides of the political aisle. The vast majority of the world, including the people I interact with regularly in TKPK and the rest of the DC area, don't care about these things.

TKPK conservative here. This is correct. Takoma Park is a nice place to live with generally nice people. My neighbors and TP friends are great. It’s like any other neighborhood — we talk about our kids, pets, our street, food, etc, not identity politics.

omg just stop already with the "identity politics" you are an idiot.

Your boy just told a panel of judges in DC that he is above the law and can kill his political opponents with seal team 6 without any reprocussions.

Spewing your conservative garbage is not a good look. And for god's sake get a dam dictionary. Here easy Dictionary.com. You have no idea what woke means. You and your sub human Bethany Mandel.

Another one who clearly does not live in Takoma Park

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define “woke”?

Is the opposite “asleep”?

If you want to live somewhere “asleep,” maybe Reston is good for you.

Virtue signaling, dogmatic, ideological people who firmly believe they're on the right side of history and sneer at those who don't agree with them as lesser species. You know, the people who call you racist no matter what you say, transphobic no matter what you say, etc, and that you are the second coming of you know what just for daring to vote differently. They pride themselves for being tolerant and open-minded while simultaneously being the most intolerant and judgmental people.

NP: this is my experience with TPK.

My family's run afoul of them for a few "transgressions," and the experiences have honestly left me so emotionally scarred that I've stopped trying to have any relationship or interaction with our community.

Now, you may think this is a "me" problem for being thin-skinned and weak... and perhaps it is. But I'm someone who was raised in a liberal religion, went to Quaker schools, votes Democrat across the board, doesn't own guns, supports immigration, etc. On paper I am a crunchy liberal. But these people and their toxic combination of affluence and disdain and carelessness, nearly broke my family apart.

There's a very rigid expectation about behavior, perhaps especially among Takoma Park women, that many of us mortals can't meet. Everything is passive aggressive. Tone is important. You should also probably apologize for any white privilege, (or bring up any bipoc ancestors), at least ten times in every conversation. It's performative, stultifying, and not at all fun.

Could you give an example of behavior "expectations" among Takoma Park women? I'm one, and I've never felt any pressure to be anything besides myself. I'm also pretty much the opposite of passive aggressive and I never worry about tone.

What conversations have you had where you needed to apologize for white privilege 10 times in every conversation? I've never apologized to anybody in Takoma Park for being White.

None of this makes sense. I doubt you ever lived in Takoma Park. You're probably a resident MAGA who's bored and slagging off the libs.

And let's just talk about how you capitalize the word "white."

You know who does that? Takoma park liberals and white supremacists. Funny, how liberal overcorrection leads to the same dismal place reached by fundies in Idaho. And by funny, I mean I'm lying: it's not funny.

DP - it triggers you to see White capitalized? Really?? Wow. Dude, it's just a convention. Calm down.

It's not a convention--or it wasn't until very recently. Black is capitalized when referring to a the Black identity. In America, the term has a specific meaning we can all get around: the identification of a group of people of African descent with shared history and culture. That definition includes both the tragedies and the triumphs of a collective past.

Capitalizing the word "white" has the effect of implying that "white" people should have a similar Identity. In Takoma Park, a place full of white people who have very little exposure to how this can go sideways, it probably seems fine. "Equitable," even. But it's not. What you're doing is legitimizing the kind of fake history that imagines there really is such a thing as a white race, and that this thing is a collective Identity.

Try to keep up. Not capitalizing "white" implies it's some kind of norm. Which it's not. That's why it's now capitalized.

Try and keep up... 'white' isn't an identity. Nor would you want to live in a world where it is one. The damage you people do when you're trying to be "correct" is not zero.

That's not what I said... I didn't say "white" is an identity. But "white" uncapitalized implies that it's the norm against which others are Black, Asian, et cetera. Plenty of folks are concerned about that implication, like
the MacArthur Foundation (https://www.macfound.org/press/perspectives/capitalizing-black-and-white-grammatical-justice-and-equity),
the Center for Study of Social Policy (https://cssp.org/2020/03/recognizing-race-in-language-why-we-capitalize-black-and-white/),
U Chicago and Black scholar Eve Zorn (https://zora.medium.com/im-a-black-scholar-who-studies-race-here-s-why-i-capitalize-white-f94883aa2dd3)
and this guy
(https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/07/22/why-white-should-be-capitalized/).

See also the National Association of Black Journalists (https://nabjonline.org/news-media-center/styleguide/).

All of which is confusing to the layperson and sort of underscores that the whole debate is taking place at a level that's way above practical concerns about equity and systemic oppression.

[Anonymous]

This is from 2020 people..let it die!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behavioral expectations for Takoma Park women.

Recently, in the middle of rush hour, (it was noisy), I had to ask a stranger for a favor in Takoma Park. Had to ask her to move her car. She was sitting in a parking lot on her phone and she'd watched me try and maneuver my own car around hers in a crowded lot--and fail--for several minutes. I waved from my car to get her attention. She looked at me and turned away. I got out and knocked on her window. She opened the passenger side window--the one farthest from us both and asked me what I wanted. I explained. Of course, over the traffic noise, and so she could hear me at all, I had to raise my voice to do so.

She told me she didn't like my tone, and I had no need to be so rude when she was going to do me a favor.

In normal places I'd consider this a one-off, a miscommunication. I'm sure you'll eviscerate me forasking in the first place, or finding something wrong in that exchange. But it's quite typical of TPK.

In my experience living here, you ask for help with a stray cat you're feeding on the listserve, you get a lecture about how outdoor cats are bad. (I don't disagree.) Remember the shortages early in the pandemic? I offered my neighbors some of our supplies and got told that there were more needy and deserving people, and I really should be volunteering to help those less fortunate bipoc instead. Over the years exchanges like this have piled up. No, they're not the worst things in the world, bless their sheltered little trust fund hearts, my neighbors all mean well--but when they're not being remarkably passive aggressive and sanctimonious, they're just so socially constrained and afraid to cause offense that they're poor conversationalists. They don't have opinions, they have slogans. They're less neighbors than they are evangelicals, who are always quick to point out how love lives here and how diverse they are... as long as that doesn't mean they have to deal with fireworks, or anything on the other side of New Hampshire.

I won't convince any Takoma Park lovers... But again, they don't think there's anything wrong with capitalizing "White."

If these few things throw you off this much, I can't imagine you'd get along well anywhere. I mean, it sounds like you didn't get the pats on the back you were looking for when you posted publicly that you want to feed stray cats or give toilet paper to your neighbors. My advice is stay off of listservs because they are, inevitably, the province of toxic weirdos (which is maybe why you were there in the first place).

I am a center right UMC while male. I have no problem discussing anything around here. Some people disagree with me, and I'm fine with that. But one of the things I love about this town is that politics are just not discussed all that much--at least around me. And the other thing I've found is that when you speak truthfully and intelligently about social issues from the from a more traditional or conservative viewpoint, there are LOTS of people around here who agree.

The other thing I don't get is the feeling that TKPK politicians are annoying. Who even pays attention to the mayor and city council these days?

Anyway, I really enjoy it here. It has a great family friendly atmosphere, a nice downtown area, the junction (which is getting nicer), an interesting housing stock, and decent schools. Certainly some annoying people, but that's anywhere. They are far outnumbered, in my experience, by the really nice people I've encountered and made friends with over the years.

Golly, well, now the white dude has chimed in to mansplain that I'm just too sensitive. One reason you think so is ... How can I say this? Oh, yeah. It's because people don't hold you to the same standard. You've never had to navigate the toxic soup of TP playdates and PTA meetings. Have you?

The examples I brought up weren't ones that actually upset me... they're ones I feel comfortable talking about in a hostile forum full of people who can't stand to hear anything critical about themselves. You think I'd share the actually terrible things that happened? With this kind audience? Hah.

Like you, I don't have a problem sharing opinions. It's just one of my opinions is that this lovely, liberal, affluent bubble, much like all lovely liberal affluent bubbles everywhere, is built on the same bland indifference seen in McClean or Greenville--the biggest difference that I see, is residents here also want to be patted on the back for being the right kind of people. A lot.

Many of us find that tiresome.

I understand why you get along well with them... I wonder if your wife does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behavioral expectations for Takoma Park women.

Recently, in the middle of rush hour, (it was noisy), I had to ask a stranger for a favor in Takoma Park. Had to ask her to move her car. She was sitting in a parking lot on her phone and she'd watched me try and maneuver my own car around hers in a crowded lot--and fail--for several minutes. I waved from my car to get her attention. She looked at me and turned away. I got out and knocked on her window. She opened the passenger side window--the one farthest from us both and asked me what I wanted. I explained. Of course, over the traffic noise, and so she could hear me at all, I had to raise my voice to do so.

She told me she didn't like my tone, and I had no need to be so rude when she was going to do me a favor.

In normal places I'd consider this a one-off, a miscommunication. I'm sure you'll eviscerate me forasking in the first place, or finding something wrong in that exchange. But it's quite typical of TPK.

In my experience living here, you ask for help with a stray cat you're feeding on the listserve, you get a lecture about how outdoor cats are bad. (I don't disagree.) Remember the shortages early in the pandemic? I offered my neighbors some of our supplies and got told that there were more needy and deserving people, and I really should be volunteering to help those less fortunate bipoc instead. Over the years exchanges like this have piled up. No, they're not the worst things in the world, bless their sheltered little trust fund hearts, my neighbors all mean well--but when they're not being remarkably passive aggressive and sanctimonious, they're just so socially constrained and afraid to cause offense that they're poor conversationalists. They don't have opinions, they have slogans. They're less neighbors than they are evangelicals, who are always quick to point out how love lives here and how diverse they are... as long as that doesn't mean they have to deal with fireworks, or anything on the other side of New Hampshire.

I won't convince any Takoma Park lovers... But again, they don't think there's anything wrong with capitalizing "White."

If these few things throw you off this much, I can't imagine you'd get along well anywhere. I mean, it sounds like you didn't get the pats on the back you were looking for when you posted publicly that you want to feed stray cats or give toilet paper to your neighbors. My advice is stay off of listservs because they are, inevitably, the province of toxic weirdos (which is maybe why you were there in the first place).

I am a center right UMC while male. I have no problem discussing anything around here. Some people disagree with me, and I'm fine with that. But one of the things I love about this town is that politics are just not discussed all that much--at least around me. And the other thing I've found is that when you speak truthfully and intelligently about social issues from the from a more traditional or conservative viewpoint, there are LOTS of people around here who agree.

The other thing I don't get is the feeling that TKPK politicians are annoying. Who even pays attention to the mayor and city council these days?

Anyway, I really enjoy it here. It has a great family friendly atmosphere, a nice downtown area, the junction (which is getting nicer), an interesting housing stock, and decent schools. Certainly some annoying people, but that's anywhere. They are far outnumbered, in my experience, by the really nice people I've encountered and made friends with over the years.

Golly, well, now the white dude has chimed in to mansplain that I'm just too sensitive. One reason you think so is ... How can I say this? Oh, yeah. It's because people don't hold you to the same standard. You've never had to navigate the toxic soup of TP playdates and PTA meetings. Have you?

The examples I brought up weren't ones that actually upset me... they're ones I feel comfortable talking about in a hostile forum full of people who can't stand to hear anything critical about themselves. You think I'd share the actually terrible things that happened? With this kind audience? Hah.

Like you, I don't have a problem sharing opinions. It's just one of my opinions is that this lovely, liberal, affluent bubble, much like all lovely liberal affluent bubbles everywhere, is built on the same bland indifference seen in McClean or Greenville--the biggest difference that I see, is residents here also want to be patted on the back for being the right kind of people. A lot.

Many of us find that tiresome.

I understand why you get along well with them... I wonder if your wife does.

DP. Good lord, are you a troll pretending to be a TKPKer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behavioral expectations for Takoma Park women.

Recently, in the middle of rush hour, (it was noisy), I had to ask a stranger for a favor in Takoma Park. Had to ask her to move her car. She was sitting in a parking lot on her phone and she'd watched me try and maneuver my own car around hers in a crowded lot--and fail--for several minutes. I waved from my car to get her attention. She looked at me and turned away. I got out and knocked on her window. She opened the passenger side window--the one farthest from us both and asked me what I wanted. I explained. Of course, over the traffic noise, and so she could hear me at all, I had to raise my voice to do so.

She told me she didn't like my tone, and I had no need to be so rude when she was going to do me a favor.

In normal places I'd consider this a one-off, a miscommunication. I'm sure you'll eviscerate me forasking in the first place, or finding something wrong in that exchange. But it's quite typical of TPK.

In my experience living here, you ask for help with a stray cat you're feeding on the listserve, you get a lecture about how outdoor cats are bad. (I don't disagree.) Remember the shortages early in the pandemic? I offered my neighbors some of our supplies and got told that there were more needy and deserving people, and I really should be volunteering to help those less fortunate bipoc instead. Over the years exchanges like this have piled up. No, they're not the worst things in the world, bless their sheltered little trust fund hearts, my neighbors all mean well--but when they're not being remarkably passive aggressive and sanctimonious, they're just so socially constrained and afraid to cause offense that they're poor conversationalists. They don't have opinions, they have slogans. They're less neighbors than they are evangelicals, who are always quick to point out how love lives here and how diverse they are... as long as that doesn't mean they have to deal with fireworks, or anything on the other side of New Hampshire.

I won't convince any Takoma Park lovers... But again, they don't think there's anything wrong with capitalizing "White."

If these few things throw you off this much, I can't imagine you'd get along well anywhere. I mean, it sounds like you didn't get the pats on the back you were looking for when you posted publicly that you want to feed stray cats or give toilet paper to your neighbors. My advice is stay off of listservs because they are, inevitably, the province of toxic weirdos (which is maybe why you were there in the first place).

I am a center right UMC while male. I have no problem discussing anything around here. Some people disagree with me, and I'm fine with that. But one of the things I love about this town is that politics are just not discussed all that much--at least around me. And the other thing I've found is that when you speak truthfully and intelligently about social issues from the from a more traditional or conservative viewpoint, there are LOTS of people around here who agree.

The other thing I don't get is the feeling that TKPK politicians are annoying. Who even pays attention to the mayor and city council these days?

Anyway, I really enjoy it here. It has a great family friendly atmosphere, a nice downtown area, the junction (which is getting nicer), an interesting housing stock, and decent schools. Certainly some annoying people, but that's anywhere. They are far outnumbered, in my experience, by the really nice people I've encountered and made friends with over the years.

Golly, well, now the white dude has chimed in to mansplain that I'm just too sensitive. One reason you think so is ... How can I say this? Oh, yeah. It's because people don't hold you to the same standard. You've never had to navigate the toxic soup of TP playdates and PTA meetings. Have you?

The examples I brought up weren't ones that actually upset me... they're ones I feel comfortable talking about in a hostile forum full of people who can't stand to hear anything critical about themselves. You think I'd share the actually terrible things that happened? With this kind audience? Hah.

Like you, I don't have a problem sharing opinions. It's just one of my opinions is that this lovely, liberal, affluent bubble, much like all lovely liberal affluent bubbles everywhere, is built on the same bland indifference seen in McClean or Greenville--the biggest difference that I see, is residents here also want to be patted on the back for being the right kind of people. A lot.

Many of us find that tiresome.

I understand why you get along well with them... I wonder if your wife does.

I'm a White/white woman who lives in TKPK and I think you're too sensitive, too. Your long, angry screeds are just odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behavioral expectations for Takoma Park women.

Recently, in the middle of rush hour, (it was noisy), I had to ask a stranger for a favor in Takoma Park. Had to ask her to move her car. She was sitting in a parking lot on her phone and she'd watched me try and maneuver my own car around hers in a crowded lot--and fail--for several minutes. I waved from my car to get her attention. She looked at me and turned away. I got out and knocked on her window. She opened the passenger side window--the one farthest from us both and asked me what I wanted. I explained. Of course, over the traffic noise, and so she could hear me at all, I had to raise my voice to do so.

She told me she didn't like my tone, and I had no need to be so rude when she was going to do me a favor.

In normal places I'd consider this a one-off, a miscommunication. I'm sure you'll eviscerate me forasking in the first place, or finding something wrong in that exchange. But it's quite typical of TPK.

In my experience living here, you ask for help with a stray cat you're feeding on the listserve, you get a lecture about how outdoor cats are bad. (I don't disagree.) Remember the shortages early in the pandemic? I offered my neighbors some of our supplies and got told that there were more needy and deserving people, and I really should be volunteering to help those less fortunate bipoc instead. Over the years exchanges like this have piled up. No, they're not the worst things in the world, bless their sheltered little trust fund hearts, my neighbors all mean well--but when they're not being remarkably passive aggressive and sanctimonious, they're just so socially constrained and afraid to cause offense that they're poor conversationalists. They don't have opinions, they have slogans. They're less neighbors than they are evangelicals, who are always quick to point out how love lives here and how diverse they are... as long as that doesn't mean they have to deal with fireworks, or anything on the other side of New Hampshire.

I won't convince any Takoma Park lovers... But again, they don't think there's anything wrong with capitalizing "White."

If these few things throw you off this much, I can't imagine you'd get along well anywhere. I mean, it sounds like you didn't get the pats on the back you were looking for when you posted publicly that you want to feed stray cats or give toilet paper to your neighbors. My advice is stay off of listservs because they are, inevitably, the province of toxic weirdos (which is maybe why you were there in the first place).

I am a center right UMC while male. I have no problem discussing anything around here. Some people disagree with me, and I'm fine with that. But one of the things I love about this town is that politics are just not discussed all that much--at least around me. And the other thing I've found is that when you speak truthfully and intelligently about social issues from the from a more traditional or conservative viewpoint, there are LOTS of people around here who agree.

The other thing I don't get is the feeling that TKPK politicians are annoying. Who even pays attention to the mayor and city council these days?

Anyway, I really enjoy it here. It has a great family friendly atmosphere, a nice downtown area, the junction (which is getting nicer), an interesting housing stock, and decent schools. Certainly some annoying people, but that's anywhere. They are far outnumbered, in my experience, by the really nice people I've encountered and made friends with over the years.

Golly, well, now the white dude has chimed in to mansplain that I'm just too sensitive. One reason you think so is ... How can I say this? Oh, yeah. It's because people don't hold you to the same standard. You've never had to navigate the toxic soup of TP playdates and PTA meetings. Have you?

The examples I brought up weren't ones that actually upset me... they're ones I feel comfortable talking about in a hostile forum full of people who can't stand to hear anything critical about themselves. You think I'd share the actually terrible things that happened? With this kind audience? Hah.

Like you, I don't have a problem sharing opinions. It's just one of my opinions is that this lovely, liberal, affluent bubble, much like all lovely liberal affluent bubbles everywhere, is built on the same bland indifference seen in McClean or Greenville--the biggest difference that I see, is residents here also want to be patted on the back for being the right kind of people. A lot.

Many of us find that tiresome.

I understand why you get along well with them... I wonder if your wife does.

I'm a White/white woman who lives in TKPK and I think you're too sensitive, too. Your long, angry screeds are just odd.

PS, I'm also progressive

[Anonymous]

So, there are Black people and white people these days?

That's what woke is these days? Just straight up denigration of non Blacks?

LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't drive a Prius or Subaru, with a "Coexist" bumper sticker on the back, you'll be ostracized.

Liberal who drives a Subaru here. I can't stand those darn Coexist bumper stickers. They strike me as so grossly performative and preachy that I get angry at an irrational level every time I see one.

+1, and I’m another liberal who drives an EV—and lives in Takoma Park. I also don’t have performative lawn signs. In fact, the bumper sticker and lawn signs are a small minority. Some pps here are channeling David Brooks’ book where he claims we’re all “frizzy-haired” profs who love to lecture others. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. In my neighborhood, one of the nicest in TPK, the only woman who gets sh!t-talked is the one who lets her cats roam free.

The pp who said that there’s a kernel of rapidity aging hippies, and the new families are relatively wealthy and here for the schools, has it right.

Agree, and I live in TKPK, too. I am not "woke" at all, and I am not even "left" on most social issues. I do think that you will find that Trump is largely hated here, so if you were big a Trump supporter, you would probably not find your people. But that's the case with most neighborhoods in the DC area. I also don't mind people disagreeing with my take on social or political issues when they do come up, so I don't feel the need to search out people with my exact beliefs. But I would say, mostly people don't talk about politics here. People come here mainly for the housing stock, decent schools, and the town feel. There are lots of very social neighbors with interesting professional and personal backgrounds, and it feels fairly suburban while being convenient to a lot of urban benefits (like museums, concerts, etc.)

This, exactly. The posters trying to scare readers with images of being button-holed, as you're walking your dog, by a banshee shrieking about abortion rights obviously don't live in TPK.

I live in TKPK and profoundly disagree. I am a relatively new family, i am wealthy, bought an expensive home and came for the schools. But first and foremost I came for the crunchy, hippy, leftist, environmentally friendly, worldly, international, tolerant to immigrants, to LGBTQ, for the activist and militant vibe of people who care about society, about change, about climate and who don't want to be silent and just live materialistic lives focused on living in comfort. I didnt choose Bethesda Chevy CHase or even AU park, just because of that.

My neighbors and friends are all passionate people who care about social justice and climate in one way or another, even small ways. I don't mind those who are not and wish them well. But they are not the people i came for and i don't seek their company.

Sorry, to clarify, as the quote didn't reflect it. What i profoundly disagree with is this "mostly people don't talk about politics here. People come here mainly for the housing stock, decent schools, and the town feel. There are lots of very social neighbors with interesting professional and personal backgrounds, and it feels fairly suburban".

This makes it sounds as if TKPK was a DC suburb just like the others. One day it may be but so far it is not.

I live in TKPK (have lived here quite a while) and have a different take. And I find it sort of funny that you're talking about moving here for the "crunchy" or "hippy" vibe, or the idea that people here don't want to "live materialistic lives focused on living in comfort." This doesn't describe the vast majority of people here, and it especially doesn't describe the people who have moved here recently who can afford to pay 1+ million for a house. There is tons of material wealth on display here, and very, very few crunchy or hippy people anymore.

Ikr?

The tone deafness from people like this is astonishing, isn't it? "I moved here because I don't want to live a materialistic life in my new build 4k square foot farmhouse with a four-car garage. I just want to send my kids to a good public school. But, you know, only the magnet version. After all, my family has devoted ourselves to the public good and we just want to be mindful? What's the problem?"

To be clear, I'm not judging you for your house, or your school choices, or your four-car garage, or your money. I judge you for congratulating yourself for being such a good person, when you are just another person who is trying to justify their inequitable choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behavioral expectations for Takoma Park women.

Recently, in the middle of rush hour, (it was noisy), I had to ask a stranger for a favor in Takoma Park. Had to ask her to move her car. She was sitting in a parking lot on her phone and she'd watched me try and maneuver my own car around hers in a crowded lot--and fail--for several minutes. I waved from my car to get her attention. She looked at me and turned away. I got out and knocked on her window. She opened the passenger side window--the one farthest from us both and asked me what I wanted. I explained. Of course, over the traffic noise, and so she could hear me at all, I had to raise my voice to do so.

She told me she didn't like my tone, and I had no need to be so rude when she was going to do me a favor.

In normal places I'd consider this a one-off, a miscommunication. I'm sure you'll eviscerate me forasking in the first place, or finding something wrong in that exchange. But it's quite typical of TPK.

In my experience living here, you ask for help with a stray cat you're feeding on the listserve, you get a lecture about how outdoor cats are bad. (I don't disagree.) Remember the shortages early in the pandemic? I offered my neighbors some of our supplies and got told that there were more needy and deserving people, and I really should be volunteering to help those less fortunate bipoc instead. Over the years exchanges like this have piled up. No, they're not the worst things in the world, bless their sheltered little trust fund hearts, my neighbors all mean well--but when they're not being remarkably passive aggressive and sanctimonious, they're just so socially constrained and afraid to cause offense that they're poor conversationalists. They don't have opinions, they have slogans. They're less neighbors than they are evangelicals, who are always quick to point out how love lives here and how diverse they are... as long as that doesn't mean they have to deal with fireworks, or anything on the other side of New Hampshire.

I won't convince any Takoma Park lovers... But again, they don't think there's anything wrong with capitalizing "White."

If these few things throw you off this much, I can't imagine you'd get along well anywhere. I mean, it sounds like you didn't get the pats on the back you were looking for when you posted publicly that you want to feed stray cats or give toilet paper to your neighbors. My advice is stay off of listservs because they are, inevitably, the province of toxic weirdos (which is maybe why you were there in the first place).

I am a center right UMC while male. I have no problem discussing anything around here. Some people disagree with me, and I'm fine with that. But one of the things I love about this town is that politics are just not discussed all that much--at least around me. And the other thing I've found is that when you speak truthfully and intelligently about social issues from the from a more traditional or conservative viewpoint, there are LOTS of people around here who agree.

The other thing I don't get is the feeling that TKPK politicians are annoying. Who even pays attention to the mayor and city council these days?

Anyway, I really enjoy it here. It has a great family friendly atmosphere, a nice downtown area, the junction (which is getting nicer), an interesting housing stock, and decent schools. Certainly some annoying people, but that's anywhere. They are far outnumbered, in my experience, by the really nice people I've encountered and made friends with over the years.

Golly, well, now the white dude has chimed in to mansplain that I'm just too sensitive. One reason you think so is ... How can I say this? Oh, yeah. It's because people don't hold you to the same standard. You've never had to navigate the toxic soup of TP playdates and PTA meetings. Have you?

The examples I brought up weren't ones that actually upset me... they're ones I feel comfortable talking about in a hostile forum full of people who can't stand to hear anything critical about themselves. You think I'd share the actually terrible things that happened? With this kind audience? Hah.

Like you, I don't have a problem sharing opinions. It's just one of my opinions is that this lovely, liberal, affluent bubble, much like all lovely liberal affluent bubbles everywhere, is built on the same bland indifference seen in McClean or Greenville--the biggest difference that I see, is residents here also want to be patted on the back for being the right kind of people. A lot.

Many of us find that tiresome.

I understand why you get along well with them... I wonder if your wife does.

I'm a White/white woman who lives in TKPK and I think you're too sensitive, too. Your long, angry screeds are just odd.

PS, I'm also progressive

And I love the way you have to tell us that. Over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't drive a Prius or Subaru, with a "Coexist" bumper sticker on the back, you'll be ostracized.

Liberal who drives a Subaru here. I can't stand those darn Coexist bumper stickers. They strike me as so grossly performative and preachy that I get angry at an irrational level every time I see one.

+1, and I’m another liberal who drives an EV—and lives in Takoma Park. I also don’t have performative lawn signs. In fact, the bumper sticker and lawn signs are a small minority. Some pps here are channeling David Brooks’ book where he claims we’re all “frizzy-haired” profs who love to lecture others. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. In my neighborhood, one of the nicest in TPK, the only woman who gets sh!t-talked is the one who lets her cats roam free.

The pp who said that there’s a kernel of rapidity aging hippies, and the new families are relatively wealthy and here for the schools, has it right.

Agree, and I live in TKPK, too. I am not "woke" at all, and I am not even "left" on most social issues. I do think that you will find that Trump is largely hated here, so if you were big a Trump supporter, you would probably not find your people. But that's the case with most neighborhoods in the DC area. I also don't mind people disagreeing with my take on social or political issues when they do come up, so I don't feel the need to search out people with my exact beliefs. But I would say, mostly people don't talk about politics here. People come here mainly for the housing stock, decent schools, and the town feel. There are lots of very social neighbors with interesting professional and personal backgrounds, and it feels fairly suburban while being convenient to a lot of urban benefits (like museums, concerts, etc.)

This, exactly. The posters trying to scare readers with images of being button-holed, as you're walking your dog, by a banshee shrieking about abortion rights obviously don't live in TPK.

I live in TKPK and profoundly disagree. I am a relatively new family, i am wealthy, bought an expensive home and came for the schools. But first and foremost I came for the crunchy, hippy, leftist, environmentally friendly, worldly, international, tolerant to immigrants, to LGBTQ, for the activist and militant vibe of people who care about society, about change, about climate and who don't want to be silent and just live materialistic lives focused on living in comfort. I didnt choose Bethesda Chevy CHase or even AU park, just because of that.

My neighbors and friends are all passionate people who care about social justice and climate in one way or another, even small ways. I don't mind those who are not and wish them well. But they are not the people i came for and i don't seek their company.

Sorry, to clarify, as the quote didn't reflect it. What i profoundly disagree with is this "mostly people don't talk about politics here. People come here mainly for the housing stock, decent schools, and the town feel. There are lots of very social neighbors with interesting professional and personal backgrounds, and it feels fairly suburban".

This makes it sounds as if TKPK was a DC suburb just like the others. One day it may be but so far it is not.

I live in TKPK (have lived here quite a while) and have a different take. And I find it sort of funny that you're talking about moving here for the "crunchy" or "hippy" vibe, or the idea that people here don't want to "live materialistic lives focused on living in comfort." This doesn't describe the vast majority of people here, and it especially doesn't describe the people who have moved here recently who can afford to pay 1+ million for a house. There is tons of material wealth on display here, and very, very few crunchy or hippy people anymore.

Ikr?

The tone deafness from people like this is astonishing, isn't it? "I moved here because I don't want to live a materialistic life in my new build 4k square foot farmhouse with a four-car garage. I just want to send my kids to a good public school. But, you know, only the magnet version. After all, my family has devoted ourselves to the public good and we just want to be mindful? What's the problem?"

To be clear, I'm not judging you for your house, or your school choices, or your four-car garage, or your money. I judge you for congratulating yourself for being such a good person, when you are just another person who is trying to justify their inequitable choices.

Your first mistake was talking about "new builds' in Takoma Park. The historic commission would never in a million years let you raze an existing SFH and do that, unless you're on the outskirts of the historic district and that's not a big part of the city. And four-car garages, that simply doesn't exist here, what are you smoking?

You have zero credibility. You certainly don't know Takoma Park. You must be a troll.