Any quality 30+ guys left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. What is your definition of a good catch?
2. Why objectify men by characterizing them as objects to be caught or acquired?

Common sense?

A good catch:

- Well rounded guy who comes from a good family
- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+
- Kind and generous
- Has interest and hobbies
- A good member of society


The 30 + single guys I know are either:

- Workaholics who have deep personality or commitment issues
- Loser underachievers who have low self esteem and will not amount to much

Except an income part you described a dog.

[Anonymous]

I'm a quality guy, 59. I'm married, so that's a hiccup but not insurmountable.

[e-mail]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a quality guy, 59. I'm married, so that's a hiccup but not insurmountable.

[e-mail]

This will probably be deleted, but

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a PSA to the younger ladies out there who happen to read this board.... MANY, MANY people couple up in college/grad school/mid-20s. I'm not saying you must do that, but if you don't, you will see the dating pool significantly shrink as OP is seeing now. Of course, I'm sure OP will find someone that she is a good match with. But it won't be as easy as if she found this person in her 20s. Frankly, I think this is largely because men can easily wait until their 30s or even 40s to find a 20-something wife and settle down and have children.

geez thanks! Now I am a cautionary tale!

I don't mean to disparage you - I'm sure you are a wonderful person and you will find the love you are looking for! I'm just pointing out that it's not as easy as it looks. The market is very hard for women vs. men.

Oh please. Everyone says that. However, every successful and decent looking friend I have has found a husband. Except one and she hasn't found one because she has issues.

Op here is what you need to do - date like it's your job. Get online. Try and go out on at least one date every week. It's simply a numbers game. You'll eventually meet someone you like and someone who likes you too. Don't approach it too seriously. Approach it as if you just want to make new friends and see what happens. Date outside of your comfort zone. It's completely reasonable to desire a guy with a job but I wouldn't focus too much on that.

Fwiw I am married to a high earner and he rarely wants to have sex with me. The lifestyle is nice but I would just as much like to be with someone who wants to sleep with me on a regular basis. No I'm not fat or ugly.

But it's it clear that OP has issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a quality guy, 59. I'm married, so that's a hiccup but not insurmountable.

[e-mail]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ people this thread is eyeopening.. 150k is NOT an absurd threshold at all!!! I don't think I know any guys making LESS than that and I'm in my late 20's.

Not trolling, just, wow- guess not many come from SF/NYC/Boston where that's completely normal.

I agree. Basically op is just saying she wants to date a man with a professional job. In other words, some sort of office worker.

I dated a good bit before meeting and marrying my husband and almost every man I dated made this sort of salary by the time he was in his 30s

I highly doubt OP would turn down a resident doctor or someone in grad school, just started a business etc. she just wants a motivated man with a college degree, which isn't that unusual.

This is OP.

The responses to this thread have been funny.

I am not expecting a 25 year old with a 150k salary. I am looking at men in their 30s. At least by 35 almost all men in the DC area make about much. From what I gather that is the minimum amount required in order to have a house, and provide for a child and a SAHM in this area. I want to stay with my kid at home for a few years and would need to depend on my husband and so he needs to be able to support that.

And honestly as a marriage minded woman, I am not seeking to be CEO. I earn enough to live, get a mani pedi and by my beauty products. With a husband, I will be more than okay.

If you wanted the SAHM life an that salary you've missed the boat. You have to lock a guy like that down in your 20's. If you wanted to go the SAHM route and find that salary you should have dated one of these 30 yr old men and locked him down in your 20's. If that's truly the lifestyle you want you need to bump your search up in age and start looking for a 40-45 yr old man who could provide that lifestyle or move to an area like Austin where COL is cheaper and there's still a lot of high earners like you're looking for. Today's crop of 30 yr old men looking to find a SAHM are looking at women in their 20's. You have to realize you're fishing in a very very small pond. If you keep such narrow search parameters you need to realize you might not just put being a SAHM at risk but being a mother if you keep waiting for the dream guy that doesn't exist. And no, most men by 35 in the DC area don't make 150k a year. That's the wonderful thing about census data it's easy to see. Only 25% of Households (not individual) make between 100k-200k in the DMV. 15% make 200k or more.

https://censusreporter.org/profiles/16000US1150000-washington-dc/

Cut it out with the census data already. Jesus Christ. You people are relentless. Someone who is a college educated professional (whether you count Op or not in that group is up to you) is not going to be dating in the bottom 50% most places you go. INCLUDING HERE in DC. Do you people have any friends who are not under-achieving college people? These are the folks who never got a college education (I realize many people in trade jobs make a lot, we are talking many of the others), they never finished high school, they are living on government handout. HELLO, DC?

Are you people suggesting she start dating the welfare recipients? Someone who don't have a lick of college?

Ridiculous. Just cut the BS already.

my husband is a phd engineer with a successful career at a great company. he only broke 150k at 41-42 or so. the idea that everyone makes 150k or more around here is preposterous.

Yeah, but so is throwing around Census Data. If you got out of your PhD social bubble you'll know there is a whole world out there of people neither you nor I will ever touch with a 10 foot dating pole, and it has nothing to do with my income.

i am not suggesting that you date at random through the census area but i do find focus on income very limiting.

personally i never cared much about money. but i did care that my boyfriend is interesting, ambitious and has good grades. i married at 23. single women my age think my husband is a great catch. i am not sure they would have thought the same when i was dating him.

This. So many of these women on here want to date whoever they want to date in their 20s, and then want it ALL on their terms and accelerated timeline the second they turn 30. Usually, these complainers are the same ones who don't bring much to the table themselves.

The single women who would cut off an arm to be married to my husband today seemed utterly horrified when I was marrying him at 22. (He was "boring" and "worked all the time," according to them.)

Ten years later, they're not so critical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

I am a size 2, fit petite brunette who gets told she looks 25 and resembles Eva Longoria all the time. I love hiking, cats and lifting. I am great with children (neighborhood babysitter growing up) and have a Philosophy degree from Bryn Mawr. I do not earn a very good living and make 60k in fundraising. I do not think my requirements are outlandish. Everyone I know is married to guys with a similar profile.

I work as a professional fundraiser in D.C. If you're making only 60k in your early 30s in fundraising, you are probably not very good. If you could carry a conversation and really engage socially and intellectually with wealthy men, you'd have been promoted long ago. Six figures is a very easy hurdle to jump in our field. You're probably not very entrepreneurial, and you're working at a low-level in house somewhere. All the best fundraisers I know are self employed, because it is so much more profitable. Also, it is EASY to meet wealthy men while working as a fundraiser. Sometimes, my husband feels uncomfortable with all the interactions I have with wealthy, interested men.

OP = A fundraiser, who can't figure out where to find a successful, stable man.

I'm dying.

+1 Also familiar with the field. Not sure why OP glossed over this comment. Hits too close to home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ people this thread is eyeopening.. 150k is NOT an absurd threshold at all!!! I don't think I know any guys making LESS than that and I'm in my late 20's.

Not trolling, just, wow- guess not many come from SF/NYC/Boston where that's completely normal.

I agree. Basically op is just saying she wants to date a man with a professional job. In other words, some sort of office worker.

I dated a good bit before meeting and marrying my husband and almost every man I dated made this sort of salary by the time he was in his 30s

I highly doubt OP would turn down a resident doctor or someone in grad school, just started a business etc. she just wants a motivated man with a college degree, which isn't that unusual.

This is OP.

The responses to this thread have been funny.

I am not expecting a 25 year old with a 150k salary. I am looking at men in their 30s. At least by 35 almost all men in the DC area make about much. From what I gather that is the minimum amount required in order to have a house, and provide for a child and a SAHM in this area. I want to stay with my kid at home for a few years and would need to depend on my husband and so he needs to be able to support that.

And honestly as a marriage minded woman, I am not seeking to be CEO. I earn enough to live, get a mani pedi and by my beauty products. With a husband, I will be more than okay.

If you wanted the SAHM life an that salary you've missed the boat. You have to lock a guy like that down in your 20's. If you wanted to go the SAHM route and find that salary you should have dated one of these 30 yr old men and locked him down in your 20's. If that's truly the lifestyle you want you need to bump your search up in age and start looking for a 40-45 yr old man who could provide that lifestyle or move to an area like Austin where COL is cheaper and there's still a lot of high earners like you're looking for. Today's crop of 30 yr old men looking to find a SAHM are looking at women in their 20's. You have to realize you're fishing in a very very small pond. If you keep such narrow search parameters you need to realize you might not just put being a SAHM at risk but being a mother if you keep waiting for the dream guy that doesn't exist. And no, most men by 35 in the DC area don't make 150k a year. That's the wonderful thing about census data it's easy to see. Only 25% of Households (not individual) make between 100k-200k in the DMV. 15% make 200k or more.

https://censusreporter.org/profiles/16000US1150000-washington-dc/

Cut it out with the census data already. Jesus Christ. You people are relentless. Someone who is a college educated professional (whether you count Op or not in that group is up to you) is not going to be dating in the bottom 50% most places you go. INCLUDING HERE in DC. Do you people have any friends who are not under-achieving college people? These are the folks who never got a college education (I realize many people in trade jobs make a lot, we are talking many of the others), they never finished high school, they are living on government handout. HELLO, DC?

Are you people suggesting she start dating the welfare recipients? Someone who don't have a lick of college?

Ridiculous. Just cut the BS already.

my husband is a phd engineer with a successful career at a great company. he only broke 150k at 41-42 or so. the idea that everyone makes 150k or more around here is preposterous.

Yeah, but so is throwing around Census Data. If you got out of your PhD social bubble you'll know there is a whole world out there of people neither you nor I will ever touch with a 10 foot dating pole, and it has nothing to do with my income.

i am not suggesting that you date at random through the census area but i do find focus on income very limiting.

personally i never cared much about money. but i did care that my boyfriend is interesting, ambitious and has good grades. i married at 23. single women my age think my husband is a great catch. i am not sure they would have thought the same when i was dating him.

This. So many of these women on here want to date whoever they want to date in their 20s, and then want it ALL on their terms and accelerated timeline the second they turn 30. Usually, these complainers are the same ones who don't bring much to the table themselves.

The single women who would cut off an arm to be married to my husband today seemed utterly horrified when I was marrying him at 22. (He was "boring" and "worked all the time," according to them.)

Ten years later, they're not so critical.

Is he a boring nerdy engineer?

I agree too. The guys who are great catches in their 30s are the same ones who a lot of girls passed over in their twenties. They were nerdy, boring and were not jerks. They usually were also a little socially awkward and not life of the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ people this thread is eyeopening.. 150k is NOT an absurd threshold at all!!! I don't think I know any guys making LESS than that and I'm in my late 20's.

Not trolling, just, wow- guess not many come from SF/NYC/Boston where that's completely normal.

I agree. Basically op is just saying she wants to date a man with a professional job. In other words, some sort of office worker.

I dated a good bit before meeting and marrying my husband and almost every man I dated made this sort of salary by the time he was in his 30s

I highly doubt OP would turn down a resident doctor or someone in grad school, just started a business etc. she just wants a motivated man with a college degree, which isn't that unusual.

This is OP.

The responses to this thread have been funny.

I am not expecting a 25 year old with a 150k salary. I am looking at men in their 30s. At least by 35 almost all men in the DC area make about much. From what I gather that is the minimum amount required in order to have a house, and provide for a child and a SAHM in this area. I want to stay with my kid at home for a few years and would need to depend on my husband and so he needs to be able to support that.

And honestly as a marriage minded woman, I am not seeking to be CEO. I earn enough to live, get a mani pedi and by my beauty products. With a husband, I will be more than okay.

If you wanted the SAHM life an that salary you've missed the boat. You have to lock a guy like that down in your 20's. If you wanted to go the SAHM route and find that salary you should have dated one of these 30 yr old men and locked him down in your 20's. If that's truly the lifestyle you want you need to bump your search up in age and start looking for a 40-45 yr old man who could provide that lifestyle or move to an area like Austin where COL is cheaper and there's still a lot of high earners like you're looking for. Today's crop of 30 yr old men looking to find a SAHM are looking at women in their 20's. You have to realize you're fishing in a very very small pond. If you keep such narrow search parameters you need to realize you might not just put being a SAHM at risk but being a mother if you keep waiting for the dream guy that doesn't exist. And no, most men by 35 in the DC area don't make 150k a year. That's the wonderful thing about census data it's easy to see. Only 25% of Households (not individual) make between 100k-200k in the DMV. 15% make 200k or more.

https://censusreporter.org/profiles/16000US1150000-washington-dc/

Cut it out with the census data already. Jesus Christ. You people are relentless. Someone who is a college educated professional (whether you count Op or not in that group is up to you) is not going to be dating in the bottom 50% most places you go. INCLUDING HERE in DC. Do you people have any friends who are not under-achieving college people? These are the folks who never got a college education (I realize many people in trade jobs make a lot, we are talking many of the others), they never finished high school, they are living on government handout. HELLO, DC?

Are you people suggesting she start dating the welfare recipients? Someone who don't have a lick of college?

Ridiculous. Just cut the BS already.

my husband is a phd engineer with a successful career at a great company. he only broke 150k at 41-42 or so. the idea that everyone makes 150k or more around here is preposterous.

Yeah, but so is throwing around Census Data. If you got out of your PhD social bubble you'll know there is a whole world out there of people neither you nor I will ever touch with a 10 foot dating pole, and it has nothing to do with my income.

i am not suggesting that you date at random through the census area but i do find focus on income very limiting.

personally i never cared much about money. but i did care that my boyfriend is interesting, ambitious and has good grades. i married at 23. single women my age think my husband is a great catch. i am not sure they would have thought the same when i was dating him.

This. So many of these women on here want to date whoever they want to date in their 20s, and then want it ALL on their terms and accelerated timeline the second they turn 30. Usually, these complainers are the same ones who don't bring much to the table themselves.

The single women who would cut off an arm to be married to my husband today seemed utterly horrified when I was marrying him at 22. (He was "boring" and "worked all the time," according to them.)

Ten years later, they're not so critical.

Is he a boring nerdy engineer?

I agree too. The guys who are great catches in their 30s are the same ones who a lot of girls passed over in their twenties. They were nerdy, boring and were not jerks. They usually were also a little socially awkward and not life of the party.

Haha no - he's not an engineer. He's one of the most well read guys I've ever met. He speed reads and finishes about 4,000 articles per month. He's funny and cute and is the most amazing father. I was very drawn to his work ethic, because I love to work too, and I felt like we could really connect over that and many other similarities. I was very driven and I knew that he would never hold me back from anything I wanted to do. However, he was never the kind of "fun" many early 20s women were looking to find. He was the reliable type to always get friend zoned, and I'm pretty sure he was considered to be the "back up plan" of a few of his long-time platonic girl friends that he used to have.

Ha! Too bad, so sad for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ people this thread is eyeopening.. 150k is NOT an absurd threshold at all!!! I don't think I know any guys making LESS than that and I'm in my late 20's.

Not trolling, just, wow- guess not many come from SF/NYC/Boston where that's completely normal.

I agree. Basically op is just saying she wants to date a man with a professional job. In other words, some sort of office worker.

I dated a good bit before meeting and marrying my husband and almost every man I dated made this sort of salary by the time he was in his 30s

I highly doubt OP would turn down a resident doctor or someone in grad school, just started a business etc. she just wants a motivated man with a college degree, which isn't that unusual.

This is OP.

The responses to this thread have been funny.

I am not expecting a 25 year old with a 150k salary. I am looking at men in their 30s. At least by 35 almost all men in the DC area make about much. From what I gather that is the minimum amount required in order to have a house, and provide for a child and a SAHM in this area. I want to stay with my kid at home for a few years and would need to depend on my husband and so he needs to be able to support that.

And honestly as a marriage minded woman, I am not seeking to be CEO. I earn enough to live, get a mani pedi and by my beauty products. With a husband, I will be more than okay.

If you wanted the SAHM life an that salary you've missed the boat. You have to lock a guy like that down in your 20's. If you wanted to go the SAHM route and find that salary you should have dated one of these 30 yr old men and locked him down in your 20's. If that's truly the lifestyle you want you need to bump your search up in age and start looking for a 40-45 yr old man who could provide that lifestyle or move to an area like Austin where COL is cheaper and there's still a lot of high earners like you're looking for. Today's crop of 30 yr old men looking to find a SAHM are looking at women in their 20's. You have to realize you're fishing in a very very small pond. If you keep such narrow search parameters you need to realize you might not just put being a SAHM at risk but being a mother if you keep waiting for the dream guy that doesn't exist. And no, most men by 35 in the DC area don't make 150k a year. That's the wonderful thing about census data it's easy to see. Only 25% of Households (not individual) make between 100k-200k in the DMV. 15% make 200k or more.

https://censusreporter.org/profiles/16000US1150000-washington-dc/

Cut it out with the census data already. Jesus Christ. You people are relentless. Someone who is a college educated professional (whether you count Op or not in that group is up to you) is not going to be dating in the bottom 50% most places you go. INCLUDING HERE in DC. Do you people have any friends who are not under-achieving college people? These are the folks who never got a college education (I realize many people in trade jobs make a lot, we are talking many of the others), they never finished high school, they are living on government handout. HELLO, DC?

Are you people suggesting she start dating the welfare recipients? Someone who don't have a lick of college?

Ridiculous. Just cut the BS already.

my husband is a phd engineer with a successful career at a great company. he only broke 150k at 41-42 or so. the idea that everyone makes 150k or more around here is preposterous.

Yeah, but so is throwing around Census Data. If you got out of your PhD social bubble you'll know there is a whole world out there of people neither you nor I will ever touch with a 10 foot dating pole, and it has nothing to do with my income.

i am not suggesting that you date at random through the census area but i do find focus on income very limiting.

personally i never cared much about money. but i did care that my boyfriend is interesting, ambitious and has good grades. i married at 23. single women my age think my husband is a great catch. i am not sure they would have thought the same when i was dating him.

This. So many of these women on here want to date whoever they want to date in their 20s, and then want it ALL on their terms and accelerated timeline the second they turn 30. Usually, these complainers are the same ones who don't bring much to the table themselves.

The single women who would cut off an arm to be married to my husband today seemed utterly horrified when I was marrying him at 22. (He was "boring" and "worked all the time," according to them.)

Ten years later, they're not so critical.

Is he a boring nerdy engineer?

I agree too. The guys who are great catches in their 30s are the same ones who a lot of girls passed over in their twenties. They were nerdy, boring and were not jerks. They usually were also a little socially awkward and not life of the party.

Haha no - he's not an engineer. He's one of the most well read guys I've ever met. He speed reads and finishes about 4,000 articles per month. He's funny and cute and is the most amazing father. I was very drawn to his work ethic, because I love to work too, and I felt like we could really connect over that and many other similarities. I was very driven and I knew that he would never hold me back from anything I wanted to do. However, he was never the kind of "fun" many early 20s women were looking to find. He was the reliable type to always get friend zoned, and I'm pretty sure he was considered to be the "back up plan" of a few of his long-time platonic girl friends that he used to have.

Ha! Too bad, so sad for them!

He sounds awesome! What does he do?

[Anonymous]

For every reasonably-attractive, single, non-gay, non-playboy, non-insane man, in his 30s, who comes from a "good family," and is making at least $150K, there are probably at least 30-50 attractive women in their 20s and 30s. And, I honestly think that's being conservative.

Some people suggest leaving DC, but that might not be a good idea. I don't think DC women realize how much of an affluent bubble this place is. Yes, the cost-of-living is lower, but most men outside of DC/NYC/SF/Boston are relatively uneducated and make $30-80K/year. If they have a degree at all, it's from the local state university -- and I don't mean a "respectable" flagship, like Michigan. And they will almost certainly regard OP as a condescending snob.

OP, in order to beat the odds, you will need to approach dating like it's a business. Research different social scenes, figure out who the available men are. Make it a full time job. You should also consider dating older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ people this thread is eyeopening.. 150k is NOT an absurd threshold at all!!! I don't think I know any guys making LESS than that and I'm in my late 20's.

Not trolling, just, wow- guess not many come from SF/NYC/Boston where that's completely normal.

I agree. Basically op is just saying she wants to date a man with a professional job. In other words, some sort of office worker.

I dated a good bit before meeting and marrying my husband and almost every man I dated made this sort of salary by the time he was in his 30s

I highly doubt OP would turn down a resident doctor or someone in grad school, just started a business etc. she just wants a motivated man with a college degree, which isn't that unusual.

This is OP.

The responses to this thread have been funny.

I am not expecting a 25 year old with a 150k salary. I am looking at men in their 30s. At least by 35 almost all men in the DC area make about much. From what I gather that is the minimum amount required in order to have a house, and provide for a child and a SAHM in this area. I want to stay with my kid at home for a few years and would need to depend on my husband and so he needs to be able to support that.

And honestly as a marriage minded woman, I am not seeking to be CEO. I earn enough to live, get a mani pedi and by my beauty products. With a husband, I will be more than okay.

If you wanted the SAHM life an that salary you've missed the boat. You have to lock a guy like that down in your 20's. If you wanted to go the SAHM route and find that salary you should have dated one of these 30 yr old men and locked him down in your 20's. If that's truly the lifestyle you want you need to bump your search up in age and start looking for a 40-45 yr old man who could provide that lifestyle or move to an area like Austin where COL is cheaper and there's still a lot of high earners like you're looking for. Today's crop of 30 yr old men looking to find a SAHM are looking at women in their 20's. You have to realize you're fishing in a very very small pond. If you keep such narrow search parameters you need to realize you might not just put being a SAHM at risk but being a mother if you keep waiting for the dream guy that doesn't exist. And no, most men by 35 in the DC area don't make 150k a year. That's the wonderful thing about census data it's easy to see. Only 25% of Households (not individual) make between 100k-200k in the DMV. 15% make 200k or more.

https://censusreporter.org/profiles/16000US1150000-washington-dc/

Cut it out with the census data already. Jesus Christ. You people are relentless. Someone who is a college educated professional (whether you count Op or not in that group is up to you) is not going to be dating in the bottom 50% most places you go. INCLUDING HERE in DC. Do you people have any friends who are not under-achieving college people? These are the folks who never got a college education (I realize many people in trade jobs make a lot, we are talking many of the others), they never finished high school, they are living on government handout. HELLO, DC?

Are you people suggesting she start dating the welfare recipients? Someone who don't have a lick of college?

Ridiculous. Just cut the BS already.

my husband is a phd engineer with a successful career at a great company. he only broke 150k at 41-42 or so. the idea that everyone makes 150k or more around here is preposterous.

Yeah, but so is throwing around Census Data. If you got out of your PhD social bubble you'll know there is a whole world out there of people neither you nor I will ever touch with a 10 foot dating pole, and it has nothing to do with my income.

i am not suggesting that you date at random through the census area but i do find focus on income very limiting.

personally i never cared much about money. but i did care that my boyfriend is interesting, ambitious and has good grades. i married at 23. single women my age think my husband is a great catch. i am not sure they would have thought the same when i was dating him.

This. So many of these women on here want to date whoever they want to date in their 20s, and then want it ALL on their terms and accelerated timeline the second they turn 30. Usually, these complainers are the same ones who don't bring much to the table themselves.

The single women who would cut off an arm to be married to my husband today seemed utterly horrified when I was marrying him at 22. (He was "boring" and "worked all the time," according to them.)

Ten years later, they're not so critical.

Is he a boring nerdy engineer?

I agree too. The guys who are great catches in their 30s are the same ones who a lot of girls passed over in their twenties. They were nerdy, boring and were not jerks. They usually were also a little socially awkward and not life of the party.

Haha no - he's not an engineer. He's one of the most well read guys I've ever met. He speed reads and finishes about 4,000 articles per month. He's funny and cute and is the most amazing father. I was very drawn to his work ethic, because I love to work too, and I felt like we could really connect over that and many other similarities. I was very driven and I knew that he would never hold me back from anything I wanted to do. However, he was never the kind of "fun" many early 20s women were looking to find. He was the reliable type to always get friend zoned, and I'm pretty sure he was considered to be the "back up plan" of a few of his long-time platonic girl friends that he used to have.

Ha! Too bad, so sad for them!

He sounds awesome! What does he do?

Big 4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. What is your definition of a good catch?
2. Why objectify men by characterizing them as objects to be caught or acquired?

Common sense?

A good catch:

- Well rounded guy who comes from a good family
- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+
- Kind and generous
- Has interest and hobbies
- A good member of society

I laughed because the only ones I know who fit these criteria are women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For every reasonably-attractive, single, non-gay, non-playboy, non-insane man, in his 30s, who comes from a "good family," and is making at least $150K, there are probably at least 30-50 attractive women in their 20s and 30s. And, I honestly think that's being conservative.

Some people suggest leaving DC, but that might not be a good idea. I don't think DC women realize how much of an affluent bubble this place is. Yes, the cost-of-living is lower, but most men outside of DC/NYC/SF/Boston are relatively uneducated and make $30-80K/year. If they have a degree at all, it's from the local state university -- and I don't mean a "respectable" flagship, like Michigan. And they will almost certainly regard OP as a condescending snob.

OP, in order to beat the odds, you will need to approach dating like it's a business. Research different social scenes, figure out who the available men are. Make it a full time job. You should also consider dating older men.

This. I experienced this first hand. It will be hard for you to find a man who is interested in "culture." Most will prefer local sporting events and watching college sports. Travel will be to somewhere like Vegas or a local destination. They won't be as interested in international travel, the arts, politics, career growth etc. they are kind of floating through life and perfectly happy to do so. They will be confused why you can't calm down and will think you need to relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For every reasonably-attractive, single, non-gay, non-playboy, non-insane man, in his 30s, who comes from a "good family," and is making at least $150K, there are probably at least 30-50 attractive women in their 20s and 30s. And, I honestly think that's being conservative.

Some people suggest leaving DC, but that might not be a good idea. I don't think DC women realize how much of an affluent bubble this place is. Yes, the cost-of-living is lower, but most men outside of DC/NYC/SF/Boston are relatively uneducated and make $30-80K/year. If they have a degree at all, it's from the local state university -- and I don't mean a "respectable" flagship, like Michigan. And they will almost certainly regard OP as a condescending snob.

OP, in order to beat the odds, you will need to approach dating like it's a business. Research different social scenes, figure out who the available men are. Make it a full time job. You should also consider dating older men.

I disagree with this. When I was single not to long ago I never had a shortage of eligible men to date and I married someone OP would approve of. The idea that there are 30-50 eligible women for each man is an extreme exaggeration.