what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow lol. We are both making assumptions about a hypothetical situation to bolster our respective arguments, I'll give you that.

But your assumptions paint a pretty grim picture of marriage and relationships!

I think I'll keep my rose colored glasses on and retain my faith in humanity!

It's not me who's painting that picture. Affairs and men who are stupid enough to father children do that. There is no way to escape this undamaged, for anyone. It's just a bad situation all-around that hurts the innocent parties - the children and the wife - the most. That's what sucks. They didn't have anything to do with this shit. Yet most of the burden falls on them. Because of the selfishness and stupidity of men.

[Anonymous]

How did your uncle's wife feel about being deceived for eight years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your uncle's wife feel about being deceived for eight years?

Nobody knows. lol.

By the time we found out, the child was already living with them so I am sure it took a at least a few weeks to get the child registered in her new school and all. Things had probably calmed down between them. I have no idea what she did to him.

Her children seemed to not be bothered by the idea of a new sister, so I am sure whatever happened between she and my uncle was behind closed doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

LOL! We don't need nor did we ask for your pity. I have a very nice life, thank you.

I DEFINITELY villainize any woman who sleeps with a married man. It is akin in my mind to breaking into another person's house and stealing their belongings.

I really don't understand why people consider this fact at odds with the other fact that the man is also a POS. BOTH people are nasty, selfish, and destructive.

Not PP above.

But the level of POS is entirely different.

If my husband cheated, the other woman will be a non-issue. I entered into an agreement with my husband. He is supposed to be loyal to me. I know him, and I love and trust him. The other woman has no agreement with me, shares no children and life with me. She does not love me, and I do not love her. It is understandable that she could be selfish.,

The husband is a bigger, nastier POS than the thai woman. He is the one who betrayed his wife and his family. He is accountable to his wife and his child.

The other woman may have betrayed her values, if she had any such values to begin with. Big deal. Values change especially when you are not accountable to anyone.

Your husband might be a bigger POS TO YOU, since yes, he betrayed you and the other woman didn't betray you in that intimate way.

But I am outsider who was not betrayed by the man who is the topic of discussion here. Therefore, the other woman is an equally big POS who caused harm to an innocent family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

LOL! We don't need nor did we ask for your pity. I have a very nice life, thank you.

I DEFINITELY villainize any woman who sleeps with a married man. It is akin in my mind to breaking into another person's house and stealing their belongings.

I really don't understand why people consider this fact at odds with the other fact that the man is also a POS. BOTH people are nasty, selfish, and destructive.

Not PP above.

But the level of POS is entirely different.

If my husband cheated, the other woman will be a non-issue. I entered into an agreement with my husband. He is supposed to be loyal to me. I know him, and I love and trust him. The other woman has no agreement with me, shares no children and life with me. She does not love me, and I do not love her. It is understandable that she could be selfish.,

The husband is a bigger, nastier POS than the thai woman. He is the one who betrayed his wife and his family. He is accountable to his wife and his child.

The other woman may have betrayed her values, if she had any such values to begin with. Big deal. Values change especially when you are not accountable to anyone.

One more thing. What I've bolded is just shocking.

You think a woman who plays a part in breaking up a family has done nothing but betrayed her own values? She didn't play a part in causing harm to the children and wife whatsoever? I couldn't be friends with a person who knowingly tampered with a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

LOL! We don't need nor did we ask for your pity. I have a very nice life, thank you.

I DEFINITELY villainize any woman who sleeps with a married man. It is akin in my mind to breaking into another person's house and stealing their belongings.

I really don't understand why people consider this fact at odds with the other fact that the man is also a POS. BOTH people are nasty, selfish, and destructive.

Not PP above.

But the level of POS is entirely different.

If my husband cheated, the other woman will be a non-issue. I entered into an agreement with my husband. He is supposed to be loyal to me. I know him, and I love and trust him. The other woman has no agreement with me, shares no children and life with me. She does not love me, and I do not love her. It is understandable that she could be selfish.,

The husband is a bigger, nastier POS than the thai woman. He is the one who betrayed his wife and his family. He is accountable to his wife and his child.

The other woman may have betrayed her values, if she had any such values to begin with. Big deal. Values change especially when you are not accountable to anyone.

One more thing. What I've bolded is just shocking.

You think a woman who plays a part in breaking up a family has done nothing but betrayed her own values? She didn't play a part in causing harm to the children and wife whatsoever? I couldn't be friends with a person who knowingly tampered with a family.

The point is we don't have enough information about the other woman. She may be damaged beyond our understanding. She may not have enough respect for the family unit; maybe she has never seen one work. If she is married with kids too, then she is as big of a POS as the husband is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

LOL! We don't need nor did we ask for your pity. I have a very nice life, thank you.

I DEFINITELY villainize any woman who sleeps with a married man. It is akin in my mind to breaking into another person's house and stealing their belongings.

I really don't understand why people consider this fact at odds with the other fact that the man is also a POS. BOTH people are nasty, selfish, and destructive.

Not PP above.

But the level of POS is entirely different.

If my husband cheated, the other woman will be a non-issue. I entered into an agreement with my husband. He is supposed to be loyal to me. I know him, and I love and trust him. The other woman has no agreement with me, shares no children and life with me. She does not love me, and I do not love her. It is understandable that she could be selfish.,

The husband is a bigger, nastier POS than the thai woman. He is the one who betrayed his wife and his family. He is accountable to his wife and his child.

The other woman may have betrayed her values, if she had any such values to begin with. Big deal. Values change especially when you are not accountable to anyone.

One more thing. What I've bolded is just shocking.

You think a woman who plays a part in breaking up a family has done nothing but betrayed her own values? She didn't play a part in causing harm to the children and wife whatsoever? I couldn't be friends with a person who knowingly tampered with a family.

The point is we don't have enough information about the other woman. She may be damaged beyond our understanding. She may not have enough respect for the family unit; maybe she has never seen one work. If she is married with kids too, then she is as big of a POS as the husband is.

Sigh, moral relativism. Profoundly dangerous if you ask me, but we'll just have to agree to disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do Do with a Child of the Affair
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_affairchild.html

So a marriage is more important than the well-being of a completely innocent child?

Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do Do with a Child of the Affair
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_affairchild.html

So a marriage is more important than the well-being of a completely innocent child?

Got it.

Yes. It sounds awful but the situation is awful, and there are no good options in it. The therapist's position is that recovering from infidelity starts, as a precondition, from complete severance of ties with the affair partner, and that the marriage cannot recover as long as the wayward spouse maintains contact with the AP. When affairs produce a child, and the wayward spouse wants to maintain contact with the child (which necessarily means contact with the AP parent), the marriage has very low odds of recovering because few marriages can withstand the pressure of constant contact with the AP and ongoing reminder of infidelity. Bluntly speaking, the betrayed spouse cannot begin recover until the AP is completely out of the picture.

Preserving the marriage protects the children of marriage and the wife, who are completely innocent as well. So, the choices are between the wellbeing of an innocent child of the affair, and the wellbeing of the innocent children of marriage + wife. The therapist votes for protecting the innocent children of marriage + wife.

[Anonymous]

That's bs

[Anonymous]

what is bs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do Do with a Child of the Affair
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_affairchild.html

So a marriage is more important than the well-being of a completely innocent child?

Got it.

Yes. It sounds awful but the situation is awful, and there are no good options in it. The therapist's position is that recovering from infidelity starts, as a precondition, from complete severance of ties with the affair partner, and that the marriage cannot recover as long as the wayward spouse maintains contact with the AP. When affairs produce a child, and the wayward spouse wants to maintain contact with the child (which necessarily means contact with the AP parent), the marriage has very low odds of recovering because few marriages can withstand the pressure of constant contact with the AP and ongoing reminder of infidelity. Bluntly speaking, the betrayed spouse cannot begin recover until the AP is completely out of the picture.

Preserving the marriage protects the children of marriage and the wife, who are completely innocent as well. So, the choices are between the wellbeing of an innocent child of the affair, and the wellbeing of the innocent children of marriage + wife. The therapist votes for protecting the innocent children of marriage + wife.

The child still deserves its parents, at the very least the financial support of both its parents. That's law. Children raised without a father are at a higher risk of lots of things (sexual abuse, for example) than children raised with an active father figure. Quite incredible to me that anyone would advocate denying the existence of a child for the wellbeing of a marriage.

[Anonymous]

^^which, by the way, the cheating man had already jeopardized!!

[Anonymous]

I wish Mrs. Marriage Builders would just step off. Sorry not sorry your DH obviously d*cked around on you. "No he didn't!" Yes, he did, and you are never getting over it, and it has so very much more to do with you and him than it ever did with any woman.

[Anonymous]

This woman was sleeping with 2 men and then decided to marry one of them, not realizing that the other dude had knocked her up already. 16 years later, the fact came to light only when the DH got the top job in the white house!